Maybe In Helping Cats, We Are Really Hurting Them?

[jefferd18]

How does she belong to him? Is he paying the bills? Did you sign her over? If you claim ownership and pay the bills, you're the owner.

I offered to pick up the tab on her spaying and he turned down my offer. He said the rescue group would pay for it. That's all good and fine as long as she actually gets to the group and doesn't linger for three weeks in clinic while being surrounded by barking dogs. That's a cat's worst nightmare!

I was the one who paid all the bills for the first cat, Thankfully she is still with me-- he's not getting her back. ! I have gotten so I don't trust him.

 

[jefferd18]

.....Ok then, total jerk it is. I'm not sure what else you could do. Hopefully someone else has a suggestion.

The only thing I can do at this point is to keep on trying to visit Inky. I am hoping to make them so sick of me that they will happily hand her over.

 

[catsknowme]

Any possible allies among the rescue group?

 

[Jcatbird]

I may understand. In some states there are laws about strays and ferals that are just ridiculous. I am assuming you are bound by that or other legal constraints. In some states a cat can be released to a rescue group with a 501 3(c) and an Agricultural permit. The cat may still be controlled by an Animal Control vet.
First let me say that I always try to imagine if there is something about the situation that I don’t know about. Benefit of the doubt first. Look for a bridge to understanding. If possible, just ask if it will be possible for you to help in any way, maybe fostering.
Here are some questions, what is his online reputation? Complaints? Praise? Is he under the domain of someone else? Has he mentioned if the cat is healthy? If she is sick, is it contagious to other cats? Is he limited in areas to isolate her?
Here is what I would do. Try to find these answers but, if she is okay and he is just “not a cat vet”, try getting into his good graces. Tell his employees you would like to repay him for his “kind” help. What is his favorite treat? Does he like flowers? I often used an orchid to grease the wheel if I had a problem. You can pick one up almost anywhere these days. Maybe something good to eat. Make sure he isn’t on a restricted diet like, no sugar. Start going with little treats at lunch or their break time. Let him know that you understand what a difficult job he has and that you are soooo grateful for him giving of his time. I know this may make you bite your tongue but we want to save the cat. Then try asking if you can help in any way. What can you do to help, make things easier? You might find out he is struggling with something and really be able to help the situation. If that fails, you can try to determine if he would be nasty to the cat if you take further action. Nasty? Step back and observe. Guard the kitty. Try visiting her and secretly getting photos. Try to get employees on your side too. They may have tough jobs. Take them treats too. They may provide you with information that will help.
Your last resort would be to get help from a lawyer or National rescue group. Both maybe? Find out what your local ordinances are before taking any action. Make sure you have the right to pursue this. Approach this in a calm and caring manner first. I have a feeling that there is some missing information. I know that I feel like just going in and taking the place by storm. I think we all do. but that never works. Maybe this is a puzzle that can be solved? Hoping!

 

[Talien]

Call it a gut feeling, but I think @lavishsqualor may know something that could help in this situation.

 

[rosegold]

Fight for Inky! Get her out of there, and don’t give up! She chose you. There is no way her potential for being tamed could possibly be assessed while stuck in a scary vet’s office, so please don’t feel bad. There is still hope.

This really reminds me of one of my kitties. My former feral Chai chose me and it was love at first sight, but I had to fight for *9 months* with the shelter to let me bring her home. She’d been in there for over a year after after being picked up off the street, and was labeled “unadoptable” because no one could touch her and she was a petrified, hissing, hiding shell of herself that whole time. But I fell in love and I knew she just needed a chance. I fought and fought and bothered them persistently about her, and was super annoying, and finally they said yes. Within 5 weeks of getting her home (after many hours of socialization), she was a purring lovebug angel and the most affectionate and gentle cat I’ve ever met.

So yes, make them sick of you. Visit every day, call them twice a day, bother them and bother them some more. You are an amazing person for doing this and I have no doubt she would be better off in your hands. <3

 

[foxxycat]

U can say someone came forward and say that the cat was missing and when you shared his picture, that they realized that this cat is theres..

Then have someone show up and ask to take their cat home...i don't understand why the vet won't release the cat to you.

When I originally said to release him back where he came from, i was assuming that it wasn't an option to live with you. My apologies...yes this is very weird and what is he charging for kennal? Can you say you don't have alot of money so want to take the cat home?? Most vets want the cat to go home with owner unless there's a huge medical issue going on...I like everyone's suggestions.

 

[Willowy]

If the rescue group is paying the bills, technically she's theirs. Have them deal with him for you.

 

[Leomc123]

I had a feral cat 2 years ago, when he came around he would be nice one minute, and then out of the blue attack my ankles, like he serriously went in for the kill on my ankles. Over time about 6 months of him showing up everyday and feeding when he hanged around and giving him a few pats here and there he eventually became a domestic outside cat. Oneday he came back with an evil abcess on his neck, i took him to vet a few times to get it drained. Then oneday poor alast disapeared, he never returned. Then 6 months later he was sitting on the fence down the street near my neighbour, i think it was him it looked exactly like him.

But the point of my story is that Atlas took at least 6 months to tame down with human contact, feeding and with me learning to run like a bullet when he went to kill my ankles LOL . I learnt with atlas that you cannot force him to trust you straight away in 2 weeks.

You are very kind to look after these strays, and its a good thing you took them to the vet. I think instead of keeping the feral cat trapped in a room, car, cage etc, they need to be free to roam and with human interaction , feeding, a pat here and there the feral cat will eventually trust you. If it is freezing temperature were they are, maybe make them a cat house from a foam box filled with straw as it stays dry to stay warm with blankets in it and a reflective heat material inside the box to keep the heat in. There are plently of youtube videos if you do a search to make a cat house for them.

I would have done the same thing as you did if i saw cats in freezing temperatures, i would try to keep them in he house somewhere warm.

This is a pic of atlas :

Here is one youtube video of a plastic box and straw ,

 

[fionasmom]

There is a lot of good advice here and I have nothing to add except that I don't understand the rescue group's part in allowing a cat to stay in a "dog wing." Are they afraid of liability if the cat is released? Something is rotten in Denmark.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I write this post with a feeling of deep regret.

For quite some time I have been feeding feral cats over at a home depot parking lot. Every night for the last seven years you could find me over there, along with 20 hungry felines. Armed with bags of Fancy Feast, Purina Cat Chow, scores of little cans of wet food and bottles of drinking water, I would set out on my cat feeding mission. Except for when we would have a torrential downpour, I never missed a day.

Word about the cats and their plight reached Facebook three years ago and a rescue team descended upon the parking lot. Within two nights 16 cats had been caught, leaving me with a few stubborn stragglers to devote my time to. Well, after the subzero temps of this last winter I had decided the cats had enough. Just how long were they expected to last in temperatures of 10 below zero in the winter to that of 100 above in the summer? I had been asking my veterinarian for help in getting these cats a home for several years now and I decided that this was the summer to stop talking and get my ass in gear.

Good news- I managed to catch one!
One night when observing the cats I noticed that this cat was not eating. She had never been the best in sniffing out the dry food but she never failed when it came to a can of Tender Beef and Chicken. Now all she would do with the mound of wet food was to timidly lick it and then act like nauseated. As expected, she became weaker, to the point of staggering around my car like she was drunk. She wasn't hard to nab, I just reached down and plucked like a grape. She offered no resistance. I am happy to report that with good vet care, love and patience, she is now thriving.

Bad news-lighting really doesn't strike twice.
I caught another one, or rather she surrendered herself. After the food is put out I always sit back in the car to watch them eat, with the door open. One cat (a black one that I had named Indigo Ink), decided to venture in. I stayed very still as she sniffed out my car, realized it doesn't get any better than this, and closed the door. Worst mistake of my life!- for now I had a very petrified cat running madly through my car. Worse yet, it was Friday night, which left me with a feral cat who was trapped in my car and would be until my vet opened on Monday morning.

One mistake after another- taking her to my vet
Inky was eventually cornered and "poled" by my vet on Monday morning. She now resides in the dog wing of his clinic, until she is "tame enough to handle". I came by to see her on Friday and what I saw was a very frighten cat with her back up against a wall, hissing at anything that moved. She starred straight ahead in an unblinking trance, like her mind had checked out and I wondered if it would ever come back. The vet told me that she should come around in two weeks. (Yeah right)

Yes I protested. I couldn't believe that a veterinarian would be so clueless as to think that a feral could be tamed in two weeks, or that she would calm down while being surrounded by DOGS! As of date she hasn't eaten and the staff is still afraid of her.

I was arrogant in my assumption that I could save these cats. My vet was arrogant(and stupid), in thinking that he knew anything about feral cats.

I am so sorry Inky, I should have left well enough alone.

I just want to say PLEASE do not be hard on yourself. You were not/are not arrogant!! You did what you felt was best and your heart was/is in the right place. I know words are easier said than felt. And I have been there in the past. There are so many positives in working with ferals and there is heartbreak. I have gone through the same thing. And I have felt those feelings. I felt guilty, naive, stupid, angry, regretful, and pretty much every other negative emotion and over and over. We bond with these ferals even when it is just feeding and observing from a distance. We are emotionally invested in them. When they disappear we worry, when we see them we get elated. We wish they had homes but then see them doing well in the wild. Up and down. But we do our best and wish for the best.

There is so much great advice in this thread I can't really add anything on that.

But I do want you to never feel like you are to blame or that you haven't done what many of us would have done. Just keep you head up and do your best to try to convince this person to allow you to get your cat back. I think some of it is liability concerns, some of it is the person thinks they know best possibly. Of course any cat would be upset and aggressive when outside of their territory with their freedom limited. My most recent addition was on Death Row at Animal Control as a neighbor was trapping and taking them into Animal Control to be euthanized. She was deemed "too dangerous" to be allowed out. I begged and pleaded and luckily I had a relationship with this feral so when I was allowed to see her she saw me and responded and after convincing them that it was ok for me to get her back did they finally relent. I took her in and she has been a sweet lap cat (after some socialization time) since. My point is, it is normal for a cat to be "scary" in a situation like that but that doesn't mean they are "bad" cats (of course I am preaching to the choir) and hopefully you can convince this person of that.

PLEASE do not be hard on yourself. You are doing (and have done) everything we all would have done. The intent was good and pure. I am confident that you will succeed in helping Inky. Just do your best and keep trying. Stay respectful and as calm as possible and keep trying.

You are awesome!! Please be proud of yourself. I sure am proud of you and all you are doing!! Hang in there.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ Yes indeed our compassion for animals can get us in an emotional spin. Just try to have balance and accept that you - like us - are a little "crazy" and feel responsible for these little animals that come into our life.
Make sure to care of you as well as you do the cats and all is well.
Best wishes & peace to you ...

 

[jefferd18]

I just want to say PLEASE do not be hard on yourself. You were not/are not arrogant!! You did what you felt was best and your heart was/is in the right place. I know words are easier said than felt. And I have been there in the past. There are so many positives in working with ferals and there is heartbreak. I have gone through the same thing. And I have felt those feelings. I felt guilty, naive, stupid, angry, regretful, and pretty much every other negative emotion and over and over. We bond with these ferals even when it is just feeding and observing from a distance. We are emotionally invested in them. When they disappear we worry, when we see them we get elated. We wish they had homes but then see them doing well in the wild. Up and down. But we do our best and wish for the best.

There is so much great advice in this thread I can't really add anything on that.

But I do want you to never feel like you are to blame or that you haven't done what many of us would have done. Just keep you head up and do your best to try to convince this person to allow you to get your cat back. I think some of it is liability concerns, some of it is the person thinks they know best possibly. Of course any cat would be upset and aggressive when outside of their territory with their freedom limited. My most recent addition was on Death Row at Animal Control as a neighbor was trapping and taking them into Animal Control to be euthanized. She was deemed "too dangerous" to be allowed out. I begged and pleaded and luckily I had a relationship with this feral so when I was allowed to see her she saw me and responded and after convincing them that it was ok for me to get her back did they finally relent. I took her in and she has been a sweet lap cat (after some socialization time) since. My point is, it is normal for a cat to be "scary" in a situation like that but that doesn't mean they are "bad" cats (of course I am preaching to the choir) and hopefully you can convince this person of that.

PLEASE do not be hard on yourself. You are doing (and have done) everything we all would have done. The intent was good and pure. I am confident that you will succeed in helping Inky. Just do your best and keep trying. Stay respectful and as calm as possible and keep trying.

You are awesome!! Please be proud of yourself. I sure am proud of you and all you are doing!! Hang in there.

I am very humbled by those incredibly nice words of yours, thank you. It is so nice to be part of a community that truly understands.

I don't understand ignorant people (like your neighbor), who treat feral cats with so much distain since it is our fault they are feral in the first place. Thank you for rescuing that little feline and giving her a second chance at life.

I am just very disappointed with my vet because I thought we were both on the same page. I will be visiting Inky on Friday. I doubt that her reaction to me will be as positive as your kitty's was to you. I think she views all humans as something to not be trusted.

 

[jefferd18]

~ Yes indeed our compassion for animals can get us in an emotional spin. Just try to have balance and accept that you - like us - are a little "crazy" and feel responsible for these little animals that come into our life.
Make sure to care of you as well as you do the cats and all is well.
Best wishes & peace to you ...

Thank you, James. You are correct, it is very easy to become emotionally attached to these wild little furballs. I sometimes rue the day that I laid eyes on these cats, the money spent and the emotions invested do take a toll, but then the tom cat comes over and lets me pet him and all is right with the world.

 

[jefferd18]

There is a lot of good advice here and I have nothing to add except that I don't understand the rescue group's part in allowing a cat to stay in a "dog wing." Are they afraid of liability if the cat is released? Something is rotten in Denmark.

The one who heads the rescue group laughed at my suggestion of domesticating Inky, said she was an outdoor cat. Just goes to show all of us that not all rescue are created equal, some just want the 'easy' cats and unfortunately that is the one that I sent Inky to.

 

[zed xyzed]

I had a feral cat 2 years ago, when he came around he would be nice one minute, and then out of the blue attack my ankles, like he serriously went in for the kill on my ankles. Over time about 6 months of him showing up everyday and feeding when he hanged around and giving him a few pats here and there he eventually became a domestic outside cat. Oneday he came back with an evil abcess on his neck, i took him to vet a few times to get it drained. Then oneday poor alast disapeared, he never returned. Then 6 months later he was sitting on the fence down the street near my neighbour, i think it was him it looked exactly like him.

But the point of my story is that Atlas took at least 6 months to tame down with human contact, feeding and with me learning to run like a bullet when he went to kill my ankles LOL . I learnt with atlas that you cannot force him to trust you straight away in 2 weeks.

You are very kind to look after these strays, and its a good thing you took them to the vet. I think instead of keeping the feral cat trapped in a room, car, cage etc, they need to be free to roam and with human interaction , feeding, a pat here and there the feral cat will eventually trust you. If it is freezing temperature were they are, maybe make them a cat house from a foam box filled with straw as it stays dry to stay warm with blankets in it and a reflective heat material inside the box to keep the heat in. There are plently of youtube videos if you do a search to make a cat house for them.

I would have done the same thing as you did if i saw cats in freezing temperatures, i would try to keep them in he house somewhere warm.

This is a pic of atlas : View attachment 294533

Here is one youtube video of a plastic box and straw ,

Atlas is beautiful I love his smile

 

[jefferd18]

I had a feral cat 2 years ago, when he came around he would be nice one minute, and then out of the blue attack my ankles, like he serriously went in for the kill on my ankles. Over time about 6 months of him showing up everyday and feeding when he hanged around and giving him a few pats here and there he eventually became a domestic outside cat. Oneday he came back with an evil abcess on his neck, i took him to vet a few times to get it drained. Then oneday poor alast disapeared, he never returned. Then 6 months later he was sitting on the fence down the street near my neighbour, i think it was him it looked exactly like him.

But the point of my story is that Atlas took at least 6 months to tame down with human contact, feeding and with me learning to run like a bullet when he went to kill my ankles LOL . I learnt with atlas that you cannot force him to trust you straight away in 2 weeks.

You are very kind to look after these strays, and its a good thing you took them to the vet. I think instead of keeping the feral cat trapped in a room, car, cage etc, they need to be free to roam and with human interaction , feeding, a pat here and there the feral cat will eventually trust you. If it is freezing temperature were they are, maybe make them a cat house from a foam box filled with straw as it stays dry to stay warm with blankets in it and a reflective heat material inside the box to keep the heat in. There are plently of youtube videos if you do a search to make a cat house for them.

I would have done the same thing as you did if i saw cats in freezing temperatures, i would try to keep them in he house somewhere warm.

This is a pic of atlas : View attachment 294533

Here is one youtube video of a plastic box and straw ,

Thank you! Atlas is looking quite dapper I must say. That is so nice of you to feed him and to take him to the vet, I doubt he ever knew love like that before.

The video you sent me is incredibly helpful. Since these cats are on Home Depot's property I don't know if they would allow me to put up a house for the them, but it is certainly worth a try to ask them.

 

[jefferd18]

If the rescue group is paying the bills, technically she's theirs. Have them deal with him for you.

Nobody has paid anything yet because nothing has been done so far, but I will ask them.

 

[Jcatbird]

If you can manage to pay, it could make a difference. Also, you can offer to the rescue group to “allow” Inky to be feral at your home and avoid the risks of being near a parking lot. I doubt you will convince them that ferals of any age can become socialized lap cats but there is plenty of proof here on the site if you want to research it. If you can get Inky, everyone here would be willing to assist you in any way possible according to your desires for Inky. I have socialized many dozens of ferals. All prefer to stay in my sunroom now. They could go out but predators are present along with other risks here. They can also run the house. They have chosen where they enjoy staying. You are doing great things by helping the kitties. Please don’t let this make you feel like giving up. Every cat saved is a victory and you have spent so much time saving lives! You are a kitty guardian and a kitty hero. You do far more than most people ever consider doing.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ It seems to me the veterinarian may have poor people skills, but I think he is worried about you being injured by a feral wild cat with unpredictable behavior . He may actually be putting your welfare before the cat - something we "cat crazy" folks don't always do ourselves .