Lilah the poophead kitty

Hellenww

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she was sticking her nose inside the baby gates last night
If Bee wasn't bothered why not let she sniff. If she can get the idea that Bee is not a threat maybe she will stop attacking. Try rubbing a cloth on Bee and putting it under Lilas food. Maybe if Bees scent is associated with good things seeing her will go easier.
 

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I’m not surprised Lilah went nuts in the crate. She was trapped and there was another cat she really doesn’t know right there! Yikes! That was a natural reaction to try and intimidate and try to escape so she could defend her self if needed. lilah is still scared ,you said she walks the walls and under things. Poor kitty. She seems a monster but in truth she is still trying to become adjusted. It’s a big new world if you’re just a little cat. There are two big humans and another cat that owns everything. Lilah is still trying to become part of the family and is desperatly establishing what she can. A sheet over the crate might have made a big difference along with giving her time to feel that was her room. A cat cave! Lol Moving her to another house will mean starting over in another strange place. Living in a safe bedroom for now is fine. Intros sometimes just need to be extremely slow. Sometimes I advise people to back up a bit and start with a clean slate. Honestly, it can settle things a lot. Did you read about that in the thread with Buffster? I asked her to put Finn back in his room for a bit and start again. There are ways to work on this relationship and time out if anyone gets stressed or aggressive. They aren’t going to eat each other. I know that you are worried but reducing the stress needs to come first. You really aren’t alone in this. We’ve walked lots of others through similar things If you moved in with total strangers, on another planet with two aliens and another of your species who did not welcome you with open arms, would you be scared? You would get established very slowly to understand what would be allowed by all. Try to imagine it from that view for Lilah and for Bee, you allowed an upstart in who needs to be taught her place. Bee needs to know that this upstart won’t be taking any of her territory but will be future entertainment. Believe it or not, Bee might get concerned if Lilah just vanished. If you shut Lilah away and give Bee time to wonder where she went, cats often get concerned that another cat is trapped in a room and will begin to want them to be releasesd. You do have to wait for both cats to be ready though. It just takes time to move at their pace. Slow motion is a lot quieter and a lot less pressure. :alright:
 
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foxxycat

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If Bee wasn't bothered why not let she sniff. If she can get the idea that Bee is not a threat maybe she will stop attacking. Try rubbing a cloth on Bee and putting it under Lilas food. Maybe if Bees scent is associated with good things seeing her will go easier.
Bee was hiding under the desk-I have a drop cloth so they don't see each other. Bee gets extremely stressed whenever she see's Lilah.
 
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foxxycat

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I’m not surprised Lilah went nuts in the crate. She was trapped and there was another cat she really doesn’t know right there! Yikes! That was a natural reaction to try and intimidate and try to escape so she could defend her self if needed. lilah is still scared ,you said she walks the walls and under things. Poor kitty. She seems a monster but in truth she is still trying to become adjusted. It’s a big new world if you’re just a little cat. There are two big humans and another cat that owns everything. Lilah is still trying to become part of the family and is desperatly establishing what she can. A sheet over the crate might have made a big difference along with giving her time to feel that was her room. A cat cave! Lol Moving her to another house will mean starting over in another strange place. Living in a safe bedroom for now is fine. Intros sometimes just need to be extremely slow. Sometimes I advise people to back up a bit and start with a clean slate. Honestly, it can settle things a lot. Did you read about that in the thread with Buffster? I asked her to put Finn back in his room for a bit and start again. There are ways to work on this relationship and time out if anyone gets stressed or aggressive. They aren’t going to eat each other. I know that you are worried but reducing the stress needs to come first. You really aren’t alone in this. We’ve walked lots of others through similar things If you moved in with total strangers, on another planet with two aliens and another of your species who did not welcome you with open arms, would you be scared? You would get established very slowly to understand what would be allowed by all. Try to imagine it from that view for Lilah and for Bee, you allowed an upstart in who needs to be taught her place. Bee needs to know that this upstart won’t be taking any of her territory but will be future entertainment. Believe it or not, Bee might get concerned if Lilah just vanished. If you shut Lilah away and give Bee time to wonder where she went, cats often get concerned that another cat is trapped in a room and will begin to want them to be releasesd. You do have to wait for both cats to be ready though. It just takes time to move at their pace. Slow motion is a lot quieter and a lot less pressure. :alright:
Someone had suggested to put Lilah in the crate and let Bee roam the room and they could safely sniff and see each other but once Bee saw Lilah's eyes peaking out-she was OUTTA there and had NO interest in getting used to Lilah. This is why I wonder if having Lilah start over in someone else's home where there's no cats to cause her distress would be easier for her=obviously the stress of new place is upsetting but if both cats are so stressed out, it just seems the kinder solution. Sometimes things don't work out but ya know when I have been asking for weeks for help to rehome Lilah-got no answers until Dec when someone messaged me-I don't know the person but I know their daughter as she worked here but that's why I wanted to meet with her and gage my gut feeling. Jon doesn't care if Lilah has to live in bedroom for however long it takes-he actually been more helpful than I expected by putting up the gates and trying to help them gt used to each other. He puts Bee on the bed with Lilah for 15 minutes at a time and feeds them treats but not having each one face each other. The other day he said they both were sleeping on the bed on either side of him-but only because he carried Bee in on her special blanket and he blocked the view so they couldn't glare at each other. I have been scent swapping with a sock. I rub it on BEe's cheek then leave it on Lilah's bed and vice versa....
 
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foxxycat

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Jon babysat the cats today. Lilah chewed into the bag of Bee's prescription food and took down her cat house apartment..lol:flail:sounds like it was an interesting day. Bee was locked in her room. When i got home, lilah was locked in her room wanted to come out ..i played with her then gave her a catnip toy and she purred really loud. Scoops the cat box and now laying down for a few minutes then will make her wet food. I think she likes chewing plastic when she has an upset stomach so told Jon make sure no plastic for her to chew..the vet didn't seem to think it was a big deal with her occasionally vomiting and chewing plastic. Since her blood work was fine, I'm wondering if it's stress from Honeybee...so both kitties are stressed out from each other :(

So we won't do the crate exercise again for awhile. It was suggested that we try this to gain Honeybees confidence.

Tonight she slunk by Lilahs bedroom door and didnt want to have anything to do with her...so we will just take it day by day.

I agree that removing her to the shelter or another house will stress her out. Either way,she's stressed BUT less stressed out here...anyways Jon doesn't seem upset about keeping them seperate which I'm glad...some people in my life think I should toss them together and let em work it out...no offense but Bee is not as street smart as she was when I first got her. She used to love people until we went to that cat show then she changed...so now she prefers my house and Jon n I. Which is fine.

Lilah just have to get over it and let her go at her pace. Christmas will be almost 3 months she's been here....she seems happy here...loves sleeping in the bed with either one of us. Just not happy about Bee.
 

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once Bee saw Lilah's eyes peaking out-she was OUTTA there and had NO interest in getting used to Lilah.
I wasn't there, but your other description sounded more like Bee was made to be uncomfortable when Lilah jumped against the sides of the crate.

some people in my life think I should toss them together and let em work it out
I don't think you can do this with her illness - she has IBS, or IBD, correct?

Jon doesn't care if Lilah has to live in bedroom for however long it takes-he actually been more helpful than I expected by putting up the gates and trying to help them gt used to each other. He puts Bee on the bed with Lilah for 15 minutes at a time and feeds them treats but not having each one face each other. The other day he said they both were sleeping on the bed on either side of him-but only because he carried Bee in on her special blanket and he blocked the view so they couldn't glare at each other.
Why not just let Jon handle them?
 
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foxxycat

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I wasn't there, but your other description sounded more like Bee was made to be uncomfortable when Lilah jumped against the sides of the crate.


I don't think you can do this with her illness - she has IBS, or IBD, correct?


Why not just let Jon handle them?
Because I'm a control freak and worry I will screw up. Jon does a bang up job but he won't text me updates so other than that, I couldn't ask for a better partner as far as the girls are concerned.

I will tell the lady that I can't give her up this soon and somehow we will make it work. There are people in my life who have cats separated and they seem happier this way.

And finally some pictures of the poophead lol Lilah.
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She loves to lay on my hand. Her prior owner said this was how she went to bed. She'll stay there for about 30 minutes. Last night it was an hour then I took a pillow and pushed it against her and Jon went to bed around 10 and she was still there. He said she went under the covers with him for most of the night. I turned heat to 60.

Bee slept on me from 12am to 4 am. I wake up all night.

Yes Bee has IBS or constipation so we need it as stress free as possible.

It's 7pm and she is asleep in her house under the desk...I leave a night light on for her when the baby gates are up.

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She likes sleeping in chairs
 

rubysmama

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Oh, they're both beautiful. :hearthrob::hearthrob: I really, really hope (think) they'll learn to co-exist eventually, and maybe even become friends. :hearthrob::hearthrob:
 
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foxxycat

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Well I didn't force the feeding together this morning-Bee seems more relaxed if I am not trying to coax her to eat where Lilah is close by..I put the bowl of slop down in the living room in view of the door but 12 feet away=she finished most of it but kept turning to look at the door..she let me give her her puffs and miralax then she went into her bedroom on her own-baby gates and towel went up-she sleeps in there till like 9am then Jon puts new kitty back in her room until the afternoon...we usually lock Bee in her room from 3/4 until 6 or 7...this seems to be agreable to both parties...I played a bit with Lilah and she was passed out in her tree when I left the bedroom at 9pm.

This morning she was waiting by the door and I fed her in there because at that point Bee was still roaming around...I was waiting for her to use the cat box in the library then she goes in her room..while Lilah impatiently waits to zoom out of the door..that fat cat is FAST! She runs around a few times then probably goes back on the bed with Jon-he stays in bed till 7 or 8 usually-I am already gone by 5:45 so they will have a relaxing day...playing coral the cats.
 
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foxxycat

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I know Lilah wants to be friends rubysmama rubysmama She's always sitting in front of the room that Bee is locked in..but Bee never ever does the same back...I think in Bee's middle ages she's decided to be cat friend free. We have a Chubs kitty who tries to make friends with her daily when they are outside but she is having NONE of that..it's kind of funny..he just follows her and rolls in the dirt showing his belly..I wanted to adopt him but Lilah is here now..so it is what it is. I absolutely LOVE Chubs=he's friendly and doesn't eat people food or treats-I have tried to lure him-he will eat Tuna when I used to feed it to Pumps/Floey/Bee. But I ended that when Pumps passed away..Bee stopped eating it so we haven't tried tuna with poophead yet..saving that for later..
 

rubysmama

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Sorry if you've already mentioned this, but when either of the cats are in their room, the door is closed, right? Have you, or have your considered, putting stacked baby gates up to the doorway, so neither cat can get out, but they can see each other, if they wanted to.
 
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foxxycat

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I have baby gates up on Bee's room when Lilah is out walking around-with a towel to block the view. otherwise they glare and Lilah howls at Bee. sometimes we put them up on Lilah's room-Jon hates them because he's always going in and out-so he keeps the door shut...we do about 50% with gates on Lilah's room but depends on Bee-she's still scared especially if the door is open and gates are up...

she won't eat out of her dish in the dining room since Lilah took it over..Lilah reminds me of Floey=eats everyone else's food to be dominate.

We have food all over the house so I have to be careful cause Lilah is supposed to be on a diet but food is an easy distractor for her.
 

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I have baby gates up on Bee's room when Lilah is out walking around-with a towel to block the view. otherwise they glare and Lilah howls at Bee.
I haven't read every post here so don't know this, but have you tried raising the bottom of the towel slightly and a little at a time? Even a half inch? So a full on cat is not visible to the other, but in increments, only seeing a little at a time, over a period of time.
It's step by step acclimating to seeing each other a small amount at a time.
 
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They are both beautiful kitties. I understand your frustrations and concerns, but it is really helpful to look at the progress you have made, because there is progress. I took in a stray kitten on Labor Day weekend and am still in the process of integrating him with my 11 year old arthritic and asthmatic cat Twyla. The best advice I have received is that you can only go at the pace of the slowest cat and that it can take up to a year to fully integrate.

We are finally at a point where they can be out together for about 45 minutes at a time, but their is still lots of wrestling and vocal "fighting" mostly because the younger one gets wound up and keeps going after Twyla. Twyla hated him at first, but now she will eat next to him and sit and watch him play, this after a period last week when they couldn't be together for 2 minutes without fighting. So don't give up hope.
 
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foxxycat

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They are both beautiful kitties. I understand your frustrations and concerns, but it is really helpful to look at the progress you have made, because there is progress. I took in a stray kitten on Labor Day weekend and am still in the process of integrating him with my 11 year old arthritic and asthmatic cat Twyla. The best advice I have received is that you can only go at the pace of the slowest cat and that it can take up to a year to fully integrate.

We are finally at a point where they can be out together for about 45 minutes at a time, but their is still lots of wrestling and vocal "fighting" mostly because the younger one gets wound up and keeps going after Twyla. Twyla hated him at first, but now she will eat next to him and sit and watch him play, this after a period last week when they couldn't be together for 2 minutes without fighting. So don't give up hope.
Bee has asthma so I can relate..yesterday was hysterical-just imagine a Lilah trapped in bee's apartment bumped up against the wall and no way to get out...Jon must have been napping or he was outside for abit..Lilah screams at Bee whenever they get close...Bee looks at her with disgust=it was hard to do no eye contact for 7 days cause Lilah just wanted to chase her all the time. We think Lilah didn't have that much of a life before as my friend thinks that my catified house may be alittle overwhelming for Lilah and that's why she's acting up...they claim she's 9-I doubt it. this cat has more energy than Bee does...but yes it goes as slow as it goes...and each adult has a cuddly kitty at night..that's my favorite thing...when it's 7pm and can lay down.
 

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.Lilah screams at Bee whenever they get close...Bee looks at her with disgust=it was hard to do no eye contact for 7 days cause Lilah just wanted to chase her all the time.
Non-stop screaming? Or just the odd howl? Any hissing or growling from either of them?
 
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