Lilah the poophead kitty

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foxxycat

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oh this week instead of closing the bedroom door to Bee's bedroom-I have been putting up the babygates and blocking the view on the bottom babygate with a blanket. Then the second one on top then the cardboard sleeve the gate came in goes ontop of middle gate=it completely blocks the door and if Lilah jumps over it=the cardboard will crash down giving Bee warning to hide or fight. So far Jon says there's not been any issues with Lilah trying to break into the room but Bee still hides under the desk afraid of the cat.

I still feed them together twice a day but not in eyeshot of each other=I made a table out of the dog cage and She eats her food on top of this-she doesn't like to eat on the floor=we sprinkle kibble on her table in the living room-she hates eating from dishes except for those gravy packets- I am hoping by Christmas they COULD TRY to eat in sight of each other..I feel like this introduction is going at a slow SNAILS pace.
 
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Yesterday we let Lilah run around while Bee was on the bed with papa. She was NOT amused...I was using a wand toy to distract her cause I think she could smell Bee and we still teasing the cat with the stuffy :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Bee has also eaten her wet snack food abou 4 feet from the closed bedroom door on Saturday. She won't dare walk in front of the door if baby gates are up but if the door is shut she feels safer.

This morning left Bee in her room with baby gates up-all Lilah wants to do is go poop in the cat box in the library, eat her breakfast then climb back on the bed with Jon and snooze. :lol:

Someone messaged me to express interest in Lilah-they asked to hold off on adopting her till 2 weeks..I wrote back asking if I can keep her for Christmas...then later on I realized, I can't give her up..it's going to be a LONG LONG process and will need a pet sitter for next summer for vacation-too much stress for both cats since Lilah is super scared in new places-probably be better if my gf just visits her every night to feed and change her cat box and give her some love. I might be able to get my dad to spend some time at my house too and play with the kitty...

But I don't think I can give her up only because of the bond Jon has formed with this cat...she's Jon's cat just like Pumps was. And I can't break that up...
 
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foxxycat

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Yeah, I was thinking Jon's her purr-son. :redheartpump: How old is Lilah again?
We don't know. First the guy who had her said she was 9 years old, then later said he owned her for 5 years...so because she's so active and runs around, guessing she's younger than Honeybee. Bee has been with me since 2013. I wonder if Lilah is 6 years old? Her mouth looked much younger than a 9/10 year old cat's mouth when we were at the vet in October.

I think I will set up a meet and greet with this lady and maybe find her a cat through a family member. On Thanksgiving this lady had been trying to find a home for this other cat and maybe the lady on facebook can get a cat through my family member and still keep Lilah. so that's todays topic=I just feel bad to get this lady's hopes up and then back out.

A few members have been chatting with me privately and they said I would regret rehoming Lilah and I am thinking probably right but I hate to lead anyone on then change my mind...

oh last night I put Bee in Lilah's room on her red velvet Blanket-bee made biscuits then slept soundly from 4pm to 8 pm. I got to watch Judge Judy then the channel 4 news with Bee next to me..when I came out of the room around 6ish, Jon was laying down on my couch and guess who was laying down with him?? Lilah!! So I don't want to break Jon's heart even though he says "just do it if I am going to rehome her or take to the shelter"( this was in November) "quit talking about it-just do it" so I try to read into the words-I heard " I don't want you to get rid of her".. you know how some people say different things but mean something totally different..I miss the days of people just say exactly on their minds instead of trying to figure out what they really mean...so if it was just me-I would be ok with rehoming Lilah IF I found the perfect home-but now there's another soul involved-makes it tricky.....

I put the baby gates up this morning and Bee slept on the blow up bed in her room-I blocked off the view so Lilah can't stare at her=she seems more comfortable if they don't stare each other down...Someone said to me-it will take time for them to get along and I wanted to say BS. But they are right...It's only 10 weeks I have owned Lilah...and I am still trying to keep my heart detached but I have bought food for her on cyber monday, and yesterday bought this cat tree online for 50 bucks to put together in the living room=theres a small one there but Bee has pulled all the sisle rope off it-so I need to replace it-this one has a house in it-not as tall as I want but it should work ok for that area and my goal is having them share the living room together without being pissed off at each other....
 

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For some reason, maybe Lilah's high activity level, I thought she was still a kitten. Her older age, as well as Bee's, probably explains why the introductions are going slowly. As Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 always says, "You can only go as fast as the most reluctant cat wants to go".

Here's a thread that might be encouraging:
There’s always hope!
 

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It's been only 10 weeks?!?

I personally think that Jon is saying, " if you're going to re-home her, do so before I fall completely in love with her."

However, it's only been 10 weeks for these two cats which isn't very long at all, and it honestly sounds to me as though Jon's heart is already "gone" on her :)
 
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we took her in sept 27 sunday. so it's not been 3 months yet..so far she's still skittish in the rest of the house and feels most comfortable in the master bedroom- if they don't mind dividing the house up-they probably can live without getting in each others faces. Jon has Bee sit on her blankie on the couch and Lilah runs around while Bee gives her dirty looks. Bee has so many different expressions that it cracks me up. I need to get a camcorder to start taping their interactions so I can watch it and watch for clues like ear positions and whisker positions.
 
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The lady who was interested in Lilah contacted me via a mutual friend, I will set up a meet and greet with her to see what my gut feeling is. I am torn-I want Bee to be happy-but I also fell in love with this troublemaker. We still can't let them mingle-I still looking at the cats at the local shelter and wish I could find a good fit for Bee-but going by her behavior in the past 10 months whenever another cat comes into the yard-she doesn't want to interact with them or just runs away-so it may be in the best interest for both cats to rehome Lilah-BUT the other lady has 2 dogs-they are older dogs and they live in another section of the house-it's not small dogs so that won't be too bad. I wish I could look into the future to see if they will ever call a truce and help me to relax. I have been watching Lilah's body language closer than before, I don't see any hissing or aggressive behavior=more like fear aggression...so would she learn to Trust bee?

Whenever I babygate Bee in the other room, who lays on the floor in front of the room?? Troublemaker. But she isn't hissing or anything. Her ears are forward and not flat. I can distract her with a toy or crinkle of treat bag. I just really torn and just want the best for both cats.

I still holding a piece of my heart away from Lilah so as not to get too attached but taking good care of her..poor thing threw up a bit yesterday-she seems to have throwing ups every 7 to 10 days then nothing-she's been grooming herself more than usual lately so it's possible it was a hairball...trying to up the canned food and less kibble-seems whenever I cut back the kibble she vomits..so weird.

The lady who is interested has a 4 bedroom house-she would have lots of room to run around-much better than my tiny place but I know that isn't the most important thing...love that I can post my thoughts here and people chime in.
 

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Have you by any chance been following buffster buffster 's thread: I Have More Trust Issues Than This Feral..

It's quite long now, but similar to your situation. Sometimes the 2 cats seem to miss each other, they even hang out/cuddle sometimes, but then other times they get into squabbles that ends up with chunks of one cat's fur in the other's mouth. :(
 

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But I don't think I can give her up only because of the bond Jon has formed with this cat...she's Jon's cat just like Pumps was. And I can't break that up...
I'm with Jon. The longer you keep her, now going into next year, the more difficult it will be for him and Lilah (and you) to be separated.

You are waffling so much on this that I'm concerned that you're causing stress for yourself and by extension for the cats, and neither you nor Jon can simply relax and love her because you're holding the possibility of rehoming her in the air.
 
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Have you by any chance been following buffster buffster 's thread: I Have More Trust Issues Than This Feral..

It's quite long now, but similar to your situation. Sometimes the 2 cats seem to miss each other, they even hang out/cuddle sometimes, but then other times they get into squabbles that ends up with chunks of one cat's fur in the other's mouth. :(
I will check it out-I probably have read some of it-but will check it out. I am going to pay a bill after work then go lay down. I don't feel like doing anything..just lay down and stare at the TV.
 
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She won't be able to meet with me until next week so we have the weekend. Bee is not using the catbox when Lilah is roaming around...at least Lilah seems to spend most time in the bedroom.

Here it is 2am and Bee finally jumped up on me for some cuddles. My heart aches to let Lilah go but maybe it's for the best. When I put Bee in her room, she won't walk around and sniff Lilahs scent. It's so weird how different these two cats are.
 
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'last night Jon hung out with kitty for a long time....I am so torn about what to do. I want the best for Honeybee. But want him to have his own kitty..

This morning we were talking about Bee and he said she was laying on her bed in her room with the gates up and towel blocking the view-he says she isn't hiding as much as before-so maybe it's true=just need time.

This morning Bee finally used the catbox-she Will NOT pee if Lilah is loose-we have cat boxes all over the house-I stuck her in her catbox when I got home when I saw there was no pee in either-Lilah was locked in her room with Jon-Bee growled at me and acted pissed off that I would dare put her in the catbox (a few weeks ago-she would hold it until I put her in the catbox-she would squat and do her business) So MAYBE she's finally gaining some confidence to tell me off and Pee on her own?? IT was a huge ball so I know she must have held it more than 15 hours.

So this morning Bee was in her house at 1am-went up there at 8pm-I fell asleep after crying my head off and getting the emotions out of me then woke at 11pm and vomited. ugg. So I was awake until 2am which was when Bee finally came down to lay on me-she stayed there until I got up at 4:30...watched this nature show about penguins and other cold weather animals..while Bee made biscuits on me-so the pee-she must have had some on her furr and sat on the floor-I let Lilah out at 5am cause Bee went into her bedroom to sleep on the catbed over the heater vent in her room, Lilah was sniffing like crazy and held her mouth open and meowed-she didn't get dialated pupils just looked curious..But Bee stayed on her cat tower the next half hour I was running around getting ready for work.

Fed Lilah Bee had eaten her wet slop just before I let Lilah out. Forgot to give Bee her puffs and miralax but yesterday morning scooped up a good amount of poo from her-plus we are adding fiber food/treats to cut back on miralax. So I guess just go with the flow. We just need Bee to get curious and start walking around when Trouble is walking around and stop trouble from chasing/harassing Bee...but Lilah isn't hissing at Bee=just loud vocalizing as if she's telling Bee to blank off..

I did play with troublemaker this morning with the mouse on the wire and stick handle-she LOVES this thing...I drag it across the floor and hide it behind corners-she comes running and sounds like elephants running which makes Bee scared or annoyed cause I watch her eyes when I am playing with trouble.

Oh I teased her again with the stuffy-I was holding the stuffy petting it cooing and she was glaring at it and howling-but I didn't put it in her face like I did last week-just put stuffy back on the cat tree which kitty gave it a few loud meows and stared at it and stalked it..I know it's not nice-but it's so funny teasing Lilah-I am curious to see how she would act if she saw a dog. my friend has a dog-and been thinking about just bringing the dog over and have the dog outside in front of her window and see how she acts-she didn't seem scared of them at the vets- 2 of them sniffed the cage and she didn't do anything--maybe it's only cats she's afraid of?

Anyways that's what's on my mind-hopefully this lady I meet is a true pet lover and not someone just wanting a pet to brag about-there's two kinds of owners. Ones that love animals, and others that just want to own an animal but don't really believe they have souls..
 
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Wish we could advise you on what the best thing to do would be, but you, literally, worrying yourself sick is not good. :alright: :hugs: :redheartpump:
 

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By now I know that you know my history. Lol I’ve been following this but hesitated to step in for fear of putting any extra pressure. That said, I really just want what is best for everyone involved. I’ve read as the stress has built up and my heart goes out to you all. If Feliway would help a human, I’d tell you to go sniff some. Lol The kitties are actually improving but that may be hard for you to see on a day by day basis. If you read only your first stressed post and the last few where the kitties are beginning to adapt, it might give you some relief. Rehoming isn’t the emergency it may have seemed before. I spent a lot of time answering the early post from the thread that rubysmama rubysmama suggested. It was very similar in the way the younger cat acted and the way their human was worrying. If you just read her posts after Finn was neutered and then the last few, there has been a lot of change for the whole furmily. The human had stressed a lot! School exams were the most recent issue and it was reflected by the cats. Our cats are super intuitive and bond to us. They “share our pain” so to speak. No matter how you decide, try to remember that the kitties love you and want you calm and happy. If Lilah leaves, let it be on a positive note and one of relief to all that she will be better off. If you really don’t feel that, then you’ve probably already made your choice. I have to wonder if the deciding is stressing you out more than what the kitties are doing now? Feel better! :grouphug::heartshape:
 
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Last night I did something different. I have this huge 4 foot dog crate and put Lilah in it-there's a blanket and pillow in it. When she went right in with a trail of treats, I was getting excited! I didn't have to push her in too much-just to get her tail out of the way so Icould close the door....set it side ways on the floor so opening was facing AWAY from Bee.

I brought Bee out of her room and set her on the back of the couch..holy S Lilah went NUTS! She jumped at Bee causing the crate to rock! Then Bee ran off of course...so I talked to Lilah to get her to calm down and got shy girl AGAIN...put Treats on the back of couch-she wouldn't eat them so put them in my hand-she eats all 6 of them but once she was done=she was OUTTA there...

So I said ok-not gonna stress you out=left Lilah in there for 10 minutes so she could calm down.

Anyone know what this means?

It would seem intense Jealousy or Anger?! HELP!

Yes I am half tempted to say
NO to the lady who is interested BUT I hate to quit. I am NOT a quitter. But I want what's best for Bee. It's gonna be 11 weeks Tomorrow we have had monster Lilah. It's so strange because I have tried everything to antagonize Lilah to see where her bounderies are and she never bites me..unlike Bee who all I do is touch her belly and I get a hard chomp. She does meow loudly if I touch her belly and she threw up again last night-we were playing pretty hard too so maybe that was why..I didn't look to see if there was a hairball. I layed in bed with her from 6:30 till 8:30-gave her a good brushing as we have been lacking on brushing and playing-it's been kind of crazy with stress from new furnace installed and new washer/dryer and I just not feeling well lately.

So that's where we are at. This morning Bee came out and I fed her slop and puffs/miralax in water then she went back in her room--was on the cubby over the vent then went into her house under the desk=this is normal for her=she likes to disappear and sleep. She did a good pee and poop last night so that's good.

So from 6:30 till 5am Bee gets to run around-then Jon locks new kitty in her room from 7am till 3pm cause he went out yesterday then let her out when got home and Bee was in her apartment-Lilah still stalks and looks at her like she wants to kill her but Jon said they pretty much leave each other alone. I told Jon play with the new cat-get her good and tired then she will go sleep in her tree and leave Bee alone..

So my dilemma is what kind of life is it for Lilah to be locked in a bedroom and only come out for a few hours? So as I am reading other posts, one lady said her feral used the safe room for a year before they felt comfortable in the house-Lilah won't come on the couch unless we entice with treats then she goes back under the chairs/table-I put some soft cushions under the table-the brat doesn't like it-I got to put the box tops back there.

Bee usually goes outside for an hour or two but now that we have snow-that's no longer happening..I just worry Bee feels like a prisoner in her own home...I know she would be happy to see Lilah go to a new home-but it's dad that loves Lilah and I am always seeming to hurt him and don't even realize it... :dunno:
 
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By now I know that you know my history. Lol I’ve been following this but hesitated to step in for fear of putting any extra pressure. That said, I really just want what is best for everyone involved. I’ve read as the stress has built up and my heart goes out to you all. If Feliway would help a human, I’d tell you to go sniff some. Lol The kitties are actually improving but that may be hard for you to see on a day by day basis. If you read only your first stressed post and the last few where the kitties are beginning to adapt, it might give you some relief. Rehoming isn’t the emergency it may have seemed before. I spent a lot of time answering the early post from the thread that rubysmama rubysmama suggested. It was very similar in the way the younger cat acted and the way their human was worrying. If you just read her posts after Finn was neutered and then the last few, there has been a lot of change for the whole furmily. The human had stressed a lot! School exams were the most recent issue and it was reflected by the cats. Our cats are super intuitive and bond to us. They “share our pain” so to speak. No matter how you decide, try to remember that the kitties love you and want you calm and happy. If Lilah leaves, let it be on a positive note and one of relief to all that she will be better off. If you really don’t feel that, then you’ve probably already made your choice. I have to wonder if the deciding is stressing you out more than what the kitties are doing now? Feel better! :grouphug::heartshape:
THANK YOU. I wish more people would chime in-cause I am just a nervous wreck. I do love Lilah-she is such a good nice cat to humans but man it's like a switch goe off when she sees a cat. Our neighbor cat Chubs likes to roll in our driveway, I put dirt at the very top so the cats can safely roll in it-Jon said she was howling and snarling from the window seat when he's in front of the window..I wonder if at the hoarder house she came from MANY years ago if the cats beat her up?? So for now we use the stuffy cats to help desensitize her to view of cats. I restarted Videos of Jackson Galaxy to get some more tips-she didn't seem to mind the yowling/snarling/spitting of cats on the TV and I have to put the volume up pretty high so I know she hears it.


OH yes we have Feliway going-in the hallway near Bee's room-she is often standing over it sniffing the fumes it lets off-then lays dwn in front of it...she was sticking her nose inside the baby gates last night so I put a box in front to keep her away-I still have the towel up blocking the view. This is one of the most stressful things in my life in a LONG time..I feel like I am responsible for the happiness of not just myself but 2 cats and 2 humans-Jon and the lady. I have to learn to let go..I know you will laugh..Frozen the movie has that song and sometimes I have to sing it to myself...and tell myself living in a bedroom isn't really all that bad. In fact the other weekend when I had the door open all day=the creep slept on the bed for 8 hours...I told Jon I was gonna use deer netting and build a frame to divide the house in half=then they can have their half but Lilah won't get as much since the backdoor is on Lilah's half-but I really been thinking about doing a fence around the livingroom to give Lilah the couch and Bee can have my couch..then Jon says how will I see the TV with the netting and frame in the way? And what happens if trouble climbs the fencing? :lol2: I told you I think up crazy crap..:frown:
 

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