Can't remember if I've posted the link to this article before or not.
Why Do Cats Attack? – Cat Articles
Why Do Cats Attack? – Cat Articles
If Bee wasn't bothered why not let she sniff. If she can get the idea that Bee is not a threat maybe she will stop attacking. Try rubbing a cloth on Bee and putting it under Lilas food. Maybe if Bees scent is associated with good things seeing her will go easier.she was sticking her nose inside the baby gates last night
Bee was hiding under the desk-I have a drop cloth so they don't see each other. Bee gets extremely stressed whenever she see's Lilah.If Bee wasn't bothered why not let she sniff. If she can get the idea that Bee is not a threat maybe she will stop attacking. Try rubbing a cloth on Bee and putting it under Lilas food. Maybe if Bees scent is associated with good things seeing her will go easier.
Someone had suggested to put Lilah in the crate and let Bee roam the room and they could safely sniff and see each other but once Bee saw Lilah's eyes peaking out-she was OUTTA there and had NO interest in getting used to Lilah. This is why I wonder if having Lilah start over in someone else's home where there's no cats to cause her distress would be easier for her=obviously the stress of new place is upsetting but if both cats are so stressed out, it just seems the kinder solution. Sometimes things don't work out but ya know when I have been asking for weeks for help to rehome Lilah-got no answers until Dec when someone messaged me-I don't know the person but I know their daughter as she worked here but that's why I wanted to meet with her and gage my gut feeling. Jon doesn't care if Lilah has to live in bedroom for however long it takes-he actually been more helpful than I expected by putting up the gates and trying to help them gt used to each other. He puts Bee on the bed with Lilah for 15 minutes at a time and feeds them treats but not having each one face each other. The other day he said they both were sleeping on the bed on either side of him-but only because he carried Bee in on her special blanket and he blocked the view so they couldn't glare at each other. I have been scent swapping with a sock. I rub it on BEe's cheek then leave it on Lilah's bed and vice versa....I’m not surprised Lilah went nuts in the crate. She was trapped and there was another cat she really doesn’t know right there! Yikes! That was a natural reaction to try and intimidate and try to escape so she could defend her self if needed. lilah is still scared ,you said she walks the walls and under things. Poor kitty. She seems a monster but in truth she is still trying to become adjusted. It’s a big new world if you’re just a little cat. There are two big humans and another cat that owns everything. Lilah is still trying to become part of the family and is desperatly establishing what she can. A sheet over the crate might have made a big difference along with giving her time to feel that was her room. A cat cave! Lol Moving her to another house will mean starting over in another strange place. Living in a safe bedroom for now is fine. Intros sometimes just need to be extremely slow. Sometimes I advise people to back up a bit and start with a clean slate. Honestly, it can settle things a lot. Did you read about that in the thread with Buffster? I asked her to put Finn back in his room for a bit and start again. There are ways to work on this relationship and time out if anyone gets stressed or aggressive. They aren’t going to eat each other. I know that you are worried but reducing the stress needs to come first. You really aren’t alone in this. We’ve walked lots of others through similar things If you moved in with total strangers, on another planet with two aliens and another of your species who did not welcome you with open arms, would you be scared? You would get established very slowly to understand what would be allowed by all. Try to imagine it from that view for Lilah and for Bee, you allowed an upstart in who needs to be taught her place. Bee needs to know that this upstart won’t be taking any of her territory but will be future entertainment. Believe it or not, Bee might get concerned if Lilah just vanished. If you shut Lilah away and give Bee time to wonder where she went, cats often get concerned that another cat is trapped in a room and will begin to want them to be releasesd. You do have to wait for both cats to be ready though. It just takes time to move at their pace. Slow motion is a lot quieter and a lot less pressure.
Wow! That's a major deal, you know!The other day he said they both were sleeping on the bed on either side of him-but only because he carried Bee in on her special blanket and he blocked the view so they couldn't glare at each other.
I wasn't there, but your other description sounded more like Bee was made to be uncomfortable when Lilah jumped against the sides of the crate.once Bee saw Lilah's eyes peaking out-she was OUTTA there and had NO interest in getting used to Lilah.
I don't think you can do this with her illness - she has IBS, or IBD, correct?some people in my life think I should toss them together and let em work it out
Why not just let Jon handle them?Jon doesn't care if Lilah has to live in bedroom for however long it takes-he actually been more helpful than I expected by putting up the gates and trying to help them gt used to each other. He puts Bee on the bed with Lilah for 15 minutes at a time and feeds them treats but not having each one face each other. The other day he said they both were sleeping on the bed on either side of him-but only because he carried Bee in on her special blanket and he blocked the view so they couldn't glare at each other.
Because I'm a control freak and worry I will screw up. Jon does a bang up job but he won't text me updates so other than that, I couldn't ask for a better partner as far as the girls are concerned.I wasn't there, but your other description sounded more like Bee was made to be uncomfortable when Lilah jumped against the sides of the crate.
I don't think you can do this with her illness - she has IBS, or IBD, correct?
Why not just let Jon handle them?
I haven't read every post here so don't know this, but have you tried raising the bottom of the towel slightly and a little at a time? Even a half inch? So a full on cat is not visible to the other, but in increments, only seeing a little at a time, over a period of time.I have baby gates up on Bee's room when Lilah is out walking around-with a towel to block the view. otherwise they glare and Lilah howls at Bee.
Bee has asthma so I can relate..yesterday was hysterical-just imagine a Lilah trapped in bee's apartment bumped up against the wall and no way to get out...Jon must have been napping or he was outside for abit..Lilah screams at Bee whenever they get close...Bee looks at her with disgust=it was hard to do no eye contact for 7 days cause Lilah just wanted to chase her all the time. We think Lilah didn't have that much of a life before as my friend thinks that my catified house may be alittle overwhelming for Lilah and that's why she's acting up...they claim she's 9-I doubt it. this cat has more energy than Bee does...but yes it goes as slow as it goes...and each adult has a cuddly kitty at night..that's my favorite thing...when it's 7pm and can lay down.They are both beautiful kitties. I understand your frustrations and concerns, but it is really helpful to look at the progress you have made, because there is progress. I took in a stray kitten on Labor Day weekend and am still in the process of integrating him with my 11 year old arthritic and asthmatic cat Twyla. The best advice I have received is that you can only go at the pace of the slowest cat and that it can take up to a year to fully integrate.
We are finally at a point where they can be out together for about 45 minutes at a time, but their is still lots of wrestling and vocal "fighting" mostly because the younger one gets wound up and keeps going after Twyla. Twyla hated him at first, but now she will eat next to him and sit and watch him play, this after a period last week when they couldn't be together for 2 minutes without fighting. So don't give up hope.
Non-stop screaming? Or just the odd howl? Any hissing or growling from either of them?.Lilah screams at Bee whenever they get close...Bee looks at her with disgust=it was hard to do no eye contact for 7 days cause Lilah just wanted to chase her all the time.