Lilah the poophead kitty

foxxycat

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Well I have aquired a new kitty 4 weeks ago- Lilah is 9 years old, spayed. Up to date with her shots now. Blood work perfect. Health not too bad-she's overweight about 5 pounds BUT is a very active kitty.

The problems in my home-Lilah is unable to cohabit with my resident cat Honeybee. The first 5 days we let them figure it out--Lilah hid under the couch for 2 days and then started to chase Bee. So I was instructed to keep them seperate. So we moved her out of the library cause she was digging up the carpet and just not happy even though there was a window seat..so we moved her into the bedroom where there's a bed and window seat. And some room to play with her toys. Moved her box and food etc into the bathroom. There's this cube tunnel thing in the closet that she spent quite a bit of time in but now she is more out in the open.

So Saturday decided to let them mix and Lilah was prowling around trying to find her and scream at her. Bee stays up in her apartment-there's this huge tree and dog house wayyyy up high that Bee watches her from with a dirty look. I think Lilah wants to climb the tree and hang out up there but I have been telling her no because that's the only spot that is Bee's. I am currently shopping for another tree to put in front of the windows in the living room.

The bedroom now has a huge tree in there and another dog house on top of the book case=she immediately climbed it and has spent time in her house=but we have to keep the door shut. Yesterday I taped a screen door to the doorway so they could see each other but not get at each other. So far that went ok. Bee misses the bed so I am also working on clearing out the office and make it into a bedroom-order a bed=and let Bee stay in there with me.
I wanted to know if anyone have issues with two females getting along. I heard male cats get along with other cats better than female cats.

I have been contemplating the shelter BUT I don't feel comfortable with this..because it's so hard to find a single pet home-the possibility of her living in a cage fills me with dread. I rather she spend her days in my bedroom and continue to see if someone I know would like to adopt her as an only cat. The weird part is at night she's a totally different cat-she cuddles in bed and lets me pet her forever..so for now I am trying not to show too much favortism to her but I don't want her to be lonely.

I watched some videos on Jackson Galaxy and going to try some of the tips. I tried to feed them on opposite sides of the door and Bee was having NONE of that. But this morning I noticed some food gone from her table that's in view of the bedroom. I am going to slowly move it closer to the door and get her used to eating near Lilah and Lilah eats right up against the door no problem-I tried this Friday night..

my question=-how long does this baloney go on for???

I have never dealt with this kind of situation. I have had other female cats- Floey was a monster to other cats but Lilah has definately changed the "monster" to her..so we call her monster now..I have been slowly working with Lilah to get used to touch-her prior owner never got her used to being picked up or clip her nails. I won't be able to clip the nails-the vets does it for 15 bucks so probably just take her there every other month to get clipped. So I pick her up every day=she screams and meows her head off. I just pick her up for 10 seconds then put her down..she's not fighting me anymore-seems she's all noise and doesn't even claw me or bite me. I touch her paws-she hates it-but I will keep working to get her used to touch. The funny part is you can snuggle with her in bed-under the covers and she LOVES it. she will lay next to me in bed for hours at a time while I read/watch TV-so I am not too happy to think of giving her up to live in a cage in the shelter for who knows how long---so wanted to hear your stories of difficult animals and finding some new normal.
 

RocketPuppy97

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I watched some videos on Jackson Galaxy and going to try some of the tips. I tried to feed them on opposite sides of the door and Bee was having NONE of that. But this morning I noticed some food gone from her table that's in view of the bedroom. I am going to slowly move it closer to the door and get her used to eating near Lilah and Lilah eats right up against the door no problem-I tried this Friday night..
It takes time. You have to figure out in what distance of the door both are willing to eat. Once you figured that out keep it that way for a few days and gradually move the bowls a bit closer. If one of them jumps the door or refuses to eat, move step back. Feeding time should from now on always be with the other cat around, so the can associate positve feelings with eachother.

my question=-how long does this baloney go on for???
We are (hopefully) near the end of the introduction process of our two cats (both male and around 1 - 1 1/2 years old) and in November it's gonna be 6 month since we got our second cat. It really depends on how old both of them are, their temperament and how long the have lived alone. 1 month to 1 year is all possible. It's just important to move slow or rather move as fast as your cats like. We humans tend to rush introductions and that makes it far more difficult in the long run.

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

Cat Introductions Part 1: Before the Introduction
Cat Introductions Part 2: Welcome Home!
Cat Introductions Part 3: Dinner Time
Cat Introductions Part 4: Love at First Sight
Cat Introductions Part 5: The Final Countdown

I'll also include a link to the thread with my introduction process, maybe it helps a little!
Cat Introduction .... Failure?


Just give both of them time. I would be a little freaked out too if someone suddenly moved in with me, who I doesn't even know.
Keep them sepreated with the screendoor and only feed their meals there.

Giving them plenty of high spots is really great! That's where they can relax and watch over their kingdom, good work with another cattree.


I know it can be challanging and frustrating at times, but hang in there! Here are many people in this form who will gladly help you along the way.

:goodluck:
 
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foxxycat

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It takes time. You have to figure out in what distance of the door both are willing to eat. Once you figured that out keep it that way for a few days and gradually move the bowls a bit closer. If one of them jumps the door or refuses to eat, move step back. Feeding time should from now on always be with the other cat around, so the can associate positve feelings with eachother.


We are (hopefully) near the end of the introduction process of our two cats (both male and around 1 - 1 1/2 years old) and in November it's gonna be 6 month since we got our second cat. It really depends on how old both of them are, their temperament and how long the have lived alone. 1 month to 1 year is all possible. It's just important to move slow or rather move as fast as your cats like. We humans tend to rush introductions and that makes it far more difficult in the long run.

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

Cat Introductions Part 1: Before the Introduction
Cat Introductions Part 2: Welcome Home!
Cat Introductions Part 3: Dinner Time
Cat Introductions Part 4: Love at First Sight
Cat Introductions Part 5: The Final Countdown

I'll also include a link to the thread with my introduction process, maybe it helps a little!
Cat Introduction .... Failure?


Just give both of them time. I would be a little freaked out too if someone suddenly moved in with me, who I doesn't even know.
Keep them sepreated with the screendoor and only feed their meals there.

Giving them plenty of high spots is really great! That's where they can relax and watch over their kingdom, good work with another cattree.


I know it can be challanging and frustrating at times, but hang in there! Here are many people in this form who will gladly help you along the way.

:goodluck:
Just finished reading=WOW that's really awesome!

Yesterday was day 28 of having Lilah. I still haven't felt comfortable calling her my cat. I just call her hey kitty but slowly it is coming around..I just worry about a future of years of a cat locked in a bedroom and no home to call her own-so for now going to try the screen door. I would like to keep the screen up for a month and allow her out for an hour at a time while Bee is up in her house in the ceiling.

I have also been shopping for a bed to put in my office=so Bee can have a space of her own. Want to cut a hole in the door so only Bee can fit through. But Lilah has been squishing herself in small areas so not sure if that would work. Or staple a screen at the hole so each cat can look in at each other. Bee still terrifiedof monster this morning--she doesn't even play footsie at the door=Lilah will stick her paws under the door though..I am hoping in a month or two those two can play together. One thing I have learned about Lilah this month=she has a TON of energy each day. I am going to talk to prior owner to find out what year she came to live with him-he says she's8 or 9 but inside her mouth is so new looking and he never took her to a vet for 8 years that tells me she's probably younger than 9. Bee is at least 7 years old and Lilah has so much energy I am wondering if she's actually 3 or 4 years old....


Since I moved a tree in her room, she's been happily climbing. I also going to build a cat high way in the livingroom to Jon's nonhappy about= I want to paint them a cheery light green and have carpet glued on them to have beds to sleep on. I bet Lilah would like to have a corner of the living room to call her own. I just need to keep the shelving so she can't access Bee's house...not sure if I want it right across from Bee's apartment but maybe in the north side of the room in the corner-make a corner spot with boards at a 45 degree angle to make a good sized spot for her= if I could I would put those boards ALL around the house...

I have book cases in the bedroom to clear off and put beds up there-now that I know Lilah enjoys climbing..for such a chunky girl=she's proving me wrong about how active she can be,...and at 7pm it's lights out and snuggle time=so we snuggle in bed for 2 to 4 hours every night which I look forward to each day. Then in middle of night when I move to the living room Bee sleeps on my chest for a few hours...no wonder I love the nights...and when the sun goes down=Lilah gets anzy and lets me know when it's bedtime. She really is a sweet cat. Bee still scared but I am hoping as time goes by=they each learn to accept each other and just ignore each other. I would love to see Bee chase her back-not giving up hope=I dream of a match in heaven at the shelter but I know the reality is so many don't make it out of the shelters and I really don't want some stranger to take her then ignore her needs...sad to say so many people don't clean the cat box 2 times a day or feed her every 12 hours to keep her weight in check...
 
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foxxycat

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Also wanted to say-the chasing/glaring is only once or twice a day..my boyfriend keeps trying to force them to get along=I came home from work one day last week or before? Lilah was sitting in BEe's catbed under the table where the water bowl is and kept glaring at Bee=bee was next to Poppa. I told Jon=don't let them have eye contact so he said he squirted her with water and that didn't seem to make a difference...I have to get a sheet of cardboard to use to block view=told Jon to toss a pillow towards Lilah when she's glaring...will they ever get along?? I so wish Lilah could speak human so I could get into her head and figure out what's going on-next time I will feed Lilah treats in front of BEe and Bee too so they can eat together...

It's been so nerve wracking!

Also on day 5 or 6 when we first got Lilah=it was 4am= BEe sleeping on my stomach on the couch-I heard this clicking noise and felt a claw in my side=It was lilah trying to claw at her while I was asleep=which is why we separated them...I wasn't awake to film her and wish I had a gopro camera set up so I can review the film and get clues from body language. Sometimes Lilah is pissed and sometimes it looks like she's just looking to play. I am hoping with increased play times that she will stop being aggressive to Bee. And she also hasn't climbed up on the couches or chairs in the living room-which I thought was weird.

Do we encourage her to climb on the sofa or let her jump up when she's ready? I won't let her climb up if Bee is on there of course. I still want to close Bee in another room while Lilah walks around-some people say to just toss them together and let them figure it out=I just can't do that. I hate the feeling of someone being aggressive to me-so don't want any other cat doing this to my resident cat=I don't understand why she's so hard to deal with...honestly I expected a bit of hissing and growling then ignore each other-but the screen door in place of a closed door sounds like a really good idea=I had it set up for an hour yesterday and Bee slunk by giving her dirty looks and Lilah was sleeping on the bed...CATS!


I so wish Lilah would stop being so damned aggressive!
 

rubysmama

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Thanks for giving Lilah a (hopefully furever) home. I think in time it will all work out.

So how long have you had Lilah now? Does she have free rein of the home now? Or is she still separated from Honeybee and in her own room. How exactly is she aggressive? To Honeybee? The humans? Or both?

Was she indoor only, or indoor/outdoor in her previous home? Only pet? Has she been to the vet yet to ensure she's up-to-date with her shots?
 
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Lilah just got her shots on Oct 10th. She's been by herself for 8? years. She came from a hoarding situation so I am guessing it was competition for food/safety etc.

She's strictly indoor. Has no desire to go outside. We let her roam the house when Bee goes outside out the window or when Bee is up in her apartment. We keep an eye to make sure she isn't chasing Honeybee. At times it appears to be play but then she gets aggressive with dilated eyes and ears turn back and that awful screaming that pissed off kitties do. The hoarder had 6 dogs and just as many cats and she was living in the bathroom because she kept being aggressive to the animals.

The funny part is she hasn't bit or hissed at me not once. Every day I mess with her to test her boundaries=picking her up, touching her feet-she HATES being picked up which is a control issue. She's afraid of not having control. So every day I pick her up and carry her across the room then put her down. She never bites me and rubs up against me and licks my hands all the time. You wouldn't know she's aggressive to other cats by how loving she is. She sleeps with Jon every night. I sleep in the living room with Bee. I am working on getting rid of my office and turning it into a bedroom so Bee can sleep in a bed again.

I have a blow up queen bed that she slept on all during vacation in the cabin so going to open enough space to use this for now. I wish I had the money to get a dumpster and just literally throw everything OUT in the room. Furniture. Books. Odds and ends...ugg. Hoarding sucks..takes forever to get rid of stuff.
 
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I spoke to her prior owner-she never had any high areas to climb. He didn't let her on counteers or the table. There's a room divide that's kind of high, he described some object made out of pipe cleaners that he would find on the floor every day so he knew she climbs. I am glad she's healthy enough to climb. My Floey and Pumps were too old to climb up high so it's so nice to see a kitty climbing and the trees are 6 feet tall. I want to build something around the living room so they can have shelves to jump up onto but for now just trying to get over the stress of a new home for Lilah.
 

rubysmama

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Lilah just got her shots on Oct 10th. She's been by herself for 8? years. She came from a hoarding situation so I am guessing it was competition for food/safety etc.
Oh, poor girl. :(

Has she actually attacked Honeybee? Has they been fur flying, or blood? Does Honeybee seem scared?

It usually takes a long time for cats to accept each other. Keeping them separated, and letting them seen each other through the screen door should help. Feed them together, on either side of the door. Yummy stuff, so they'll associate each other with good things.

You might want to scan through this thread: I Have More Trust Issues Than This Feral..
It's super long, but has videos of the 2 cats interacting.
 
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foxxycat

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Its now 6 weeks and Lilah still a poophead around Bee. My poor Bee gets so tramatized whenever she gets chased and howled at by Lilah. I try hard to avoid eye contact and that video from Jackson Galaxy seems to help but NEITHER cat is eating in view of other cat- I tried feeding Bee locked in her office-had Lilah in view of door and neither cat was having that-I will keep trying but that's the biggest thing-Bee sees Lilah=she will NOT eat. :(

Lilah spends 20 hours in the bedroom and Jon lets her out when Bee goes outside OR goes in her apartment or office-but I noticed a pattern-the new cat walks around looking around then doesn't want to come on the couch with me-or on Jon's couch-she sometimes will sleep on the chair in dining room but then Bee wants to walk around and Bee won't because she knows she will be chased. I have baby gates on the bedroom door now-so for now as long as Bee walks around-the door gets closed or the baby gates but she's jumping over them-even 2 stacked on-found her sitting on end of dresser and jumps onto edge of 2nd gate. So now I put stuff on dresser to keep her off of it.

So far it's been extremely slow...It's getting really frustrating and there are times I still want to take Lilah to the local shelter=no kill shelter=but it's only 2 incidents a day so keep tellign myself- 10 minutes out of 24 hours is not too bad-but I know Bee misses our bedroom. Jon has been bringing Bee in the bedroom and feeding them treats together but make sure no eye contact. Usually Bee growls he told me-I try to tell him-quit forcing Bee in Lilah's room-she's telling you she is NOT ready-but men?! <eyeroll>

So I bought some more interactive toys and so far Lilah gets nice long play sessions several times a day and really likes this=then 7pm is BED time=she will climb on the bed and stare at you until you go lay down with her-so that'swhen we lay down together with the door closed. The bedroom door stays closed all night so Bee can roam without worrying about being chased.

Jon thinks I am babying Bee too much-but when she's too scared to use her cat box or eat=tells me to listen to her body language...the show Cat From hell gives me more ideas and I am currently working to build shelves in the dining room so she can have some vertical places to call her own as she wants to climb Bee's apartment but I don't let her as Bee is up there. She has climbed up there 2 times and howled at Bee then I scared her down before there was a fight.

I moved one of the big cat trees into the bedroom and Lilah immediately climbed it. Her prior owner never gave her high spaces to call her own..so in the bedroom she has her tree and a dog house on top of book case which she roosts in it daily. I want to add another big tree in the living room but so far haven't had money for another tree-so far I have bought brackets for shelves-when I get more money, will buy some 12" wide boards and cut them to make steps up and down so she can claim the dining room area...I want to eventually make a cat highway all around the livingroom. Which Jon gave me a dirty look. It just seems like it's FOREVER to get this over with...I sure miss Floey and Pumpkin Face cause those two ended up coexisting without the bullcrap that's going on here.

Frustrated.
 

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Have they ever come near each other without having a spat? Were you/are you able to stack baby gates to Lilah's bedroom door so that they can see each other during those 20 hours? Is it always Lilah chasing Bee?
 
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Yes. Lilah Stares her down and eyes dialate but Jon's been using a squirt bottle to distract-I am trying to get him to use a different method- but he thinks it's no big deal if they get into a scuffle..but Lilah is strong and FAST for a fat cat. I finally was able to feed them on the opposite side of the bedroom door this morning-but it wasn't right on opposite sides.
There s a dog cage with a sheet over it by the couch-I put the food there-as it's 3 feet away from the door. I fed Lilah inside the door-2 feet from the door-so gonna try this for a week and try to not allow eye contact. As long as they don't stare at each other=they seem ok.

Lilah always howls if Bee gets too close. BUT if I hold Bee and turn her backside towards Lilah-Lilah gives her a long sniff then once she realizes it's a cat, she either growls, howls or just gets that angry look which I move away fast before the claw comes out. So I also scent swapping. I sleep on Bee's blanket every night and put Bee fuzz all over it-bring it into the bedroom at 7pm and rub it all over Lilah-she doesn't really like it=she has slept on the blanket a few times=but currently doing scent swaps.

Last night put poop and pee in Lilah's litter box=didn't cover it=she didn't pee or poop on it-made her mess on opposite side of box. Will keep swapping poop in each other's box each night to help with scent..
 
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foxxycat

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rubysmama rubysmama I asked the prior owner how many years he had Lilah=before he said 8 years-yesterday it's 5 years..and he claims the person he got her from said she was 3 then. I still think Lilah is 5 or 6. Just because of her enegy levels are off the charts. I think she's chasing Bee out of boredom. Jon won't play with them-says that's my job. :rolleyes3:
So I showed him how to use the mouse on a stick and said just sit and flick it around. She will come over and snag it. Also showed him the brush=tap her hairbrush on the couch and she will run over and brush her. Take that fuzz and put it in Bee's apartment. Sigh.
 

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Jon's been using a squirt bottle to distract-I am trying to get him to use a different method- but he thinks it's no big deal if they get into a scuffle.
If you can, get Jon to read this TCS article: 5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat

I'm concerned that spraying water might make being around Bee a negative thing, when you want Lilah to have positive feelings when she's around Bee. That's why one thing we suggest is to feed super yummy treats when they're together.
 
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/yes I told him last night no more spraying with water. I guess they got into a fight yesterday. He said he chased her and she wouldn't stop chasing..so will let him know. I just sent him a text to knock it off with the water. I think we can figure something out. I stopped at a different store last night and got felaway and some other toys. I can't get him to play with Lilah=-I told him-play with her until she's panting. Make her tired so she will go lay down and stop chasing.

This morning fed them together through the baby gate but Bee won't eat if she sees the baby gates=I got her on a table next o the door...so they both heard each other eating...Lilah was restless last night when we snuggled. She threw up overnight too-of course I probably gave her too many treats and there was a hairball in her puke=she gets brushed for 15 minutes a day-

CATS and MEN!
 
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foxxycat

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rubysmama rubysmama Last night used treats to try to lure Lilah into the living room. You were right about the squirts of water-Told jon she now thinks she's going to get disciplined if she walks in the living room so we just have to build the trust again. The only good thing is if she stays out of the living room area, Bee won't have to worry about getting chased.

The other thing we have to do is swap the rooms at night. I don't think it will work. Bee has her routine and Lilah likes the bed. I fear she will scratch and cry at the closed bedroom door-but I told Jon to swap them today for 3 hours. Ignore the crying and scratches-there's a rug on the floor so she can't hurt anything, I said give her some catnip and play with her..Bee just growls.

This morning Bee refused to finish her breakfast once she realized the baby gates were up instead of closed door. So we will try again tonight.
 

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Hi! I apologise if this has already been suggested but have you tried a calming product? I don't believe that the pheromone diffusers are the thing to use here since they can make things worse in certain situations, but there are other options/products available.
 

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I literally haven't heard a single uncommon or worrisome thing going on here. It takes ages for cats to get along, they may never play and just tolerate each other. There is no bloodshed or fur flying right? They are fine. This all takes time. Their vocalizations are excellent too because that means they are communicating and letting the other know they are not happy. Wonderful!

Only thing to keep an eye on is the cat that doesn't want to eat in the others sight. I had cats together for years and when one walks in the room the other will stop eating and watch. Not a big deal. As long as they are eventually eating. Relax!
 
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There were 2 incidents of fur flying and lilah got scratched but Bee is slowly getting more confident...this is so strange because she used to chase Flo and Pumps ALL THE FREAKING TIME and now 7 months she is the only cat and now acting like a baby. I am trying really hard not to baby her and just step back and let them figure it out but at a controlled distance. Jon keeps putting Bee on the bed-and trying to get them to eat treats together-only one eats but I told him it's ok to keep trying once a day..as long as they can build some confidence, I think they will come around..but we now see how squirting water negatively affected Lilah cause she won't come on the couch or anything.

Every day I pick her up 3 to 4 times a day even though she screams..when I started this 4 weeks ago-she squirmed nonstop. Now she tolerates if I put her paws on my shoulders and DONT walk around. She will even rub my hand when I put it in front of her face. She will give a little meow when she's ready to be put down-usually 20 to 45 seconds later. So slowly trying to train her that good things follow if I pick her up.

The next step is switching the cats at night but right now I don't think either one is ready. Lilah sleeps all night on the top left side of the mattress and Bee sleeps in her apartment, then on me, then on her cat condo in the office over the heater when furnace is going..so I am hesitant to change up this pattern..I know Jackson says to not keep cats locked in a room more than 16 hours but honestly it doesn't seem to affect Lilah..she loves her room and always gravitates back to her room after a 15 min roam around the house. Which is base camp for her.
 
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foxxycat

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Hi! I apologise if this has already been suggested but have you tried a calming product? I don't believe that the pheromone diffusers are the thing to use here since they can make things worse in certain situations, but there are other options/products available.
I plugged in one of those feliway thingies 2 nights ago-thank you for finding my thread.

I texted Jon to ask where Lilah is=she is in the living room but wouldn't say where Bee is.

I just ordered some more packets of those squeezable food pouches for Bee cause I will run out in 2 days-So far I tried better quality food with Lilah=she WONT eat it. She only likes fancy feast delectibles those cans with tiny chunks with rice/veggies in it. She doesn't like pate either. It's hard to get them on an eating schedule because she is a picker and never eats much at once. I will take a peak in her mouth because I noticed it's kind of stinky even though vet looked in her mouth last month...
 
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