I'm Depressed

[Katie M]

I've actually dealt with easy bruising my whole life. Nothing medically wrong, just a family trait. I'm used to it.

My doctor wants to see me again in a month, to give the Paxil time to kick in.

 

[foxxycat]

I went to a new doctor yesterday, because my old one retired. I told him pretty much everything, and he called in a prescription for Paxil. I started it this morning, and he also recommended a few therapy sessions (I'll have to see if I can swing that).

Here's hoping

Glad to hear you went to your doctor. Don't get discouraged if this one doesn't help-let's hope it helps- The best thing you did is see the doctor and let them know how deep you are hurting. Depression is a sneaky little B and sneaks up on us and strikes us when we are low.

As another who has battled depression my entire life-just wanted to let you know I know how it feels-and I do understand not wanting to be a burden to other people-but remember those who love you never see you as a burden. I am glad you have opened up about this-there's many of us who read words on here and shake our head up and down agreeing with everything-but too scared to admit it.

My mother too suffered with more than I do=one thing she taught me=when those feelings come-those ones that make us cry or angry-she would tell me stop fighting it-let it come and do its thing-cry, get angry-let the storm come through but remember in the morning the sun will shine-and you can leave that in the past-each day a new day to try-so even if sad feelings are here-it's not permanent-even though we feel like it is. We will help you and don't be afraid to express yourself-that's the first battle=admitting we need help..

 

[Margret]

I went to a new doctor yesterday, because my old one retired. I told him pretty much everything, and he called in a prescription for Paxil. I started it this morning, and he also recommended a few therapy sessions (I'll have to see if I can swing that).

Here's hoping

Good for you!

Did you tell him about the pain and how you're handling it? He really does need to know.



Margret

 

[Margret]

Aspirin is a blood thinner. My doctor told me to take an aspirin a day for my heart a couple of years ago, and I said "But aspirin gives me tinnitus; that's why I stopped using it."

"Oh, just one won't bother you."

Sorry, just one, and the tinnitus came back immediately. So I reduced the dose down to what they used to call a "Baby aspirin" (they now recommend never giving it to babies, but they've retained the sweet taste ). That didn't bother the tinnitus. But then I needed a breast needle biopsy. They told me to keep taking all my meds, and didn't bother to tell me to cut the aspirin. Surprise! I bled so much during the biopsy that they had to stop without actually getting anything. (Turns out, according to an ultrasound later, that there wasn't anything worth getting; it was just some anomalous calcium deposits.) I don't need aspirin for my heart! My blood is already thin enough. At this point I'm supplementing vitamin K, because if I don't I get nose bleeds.

Ibuprofen can have a similar effect, but it wears off much more quickly; aspirin is the really big OTC blood thinner, and anyone who already bruises easily should probably be avoiding it, as that can be a sign of thin blood.

Margret

 

[Katie M]

Good for you!

Did you tell him about the pain and how you're handling it? He really does need to know.



Margret

Yes, he said we would work on that. He feels the depression is the more pressing issue, though. I agree.

 

[raysmyheart]

Katie M , Just want to let you know I am thinking about you. I don't know if this helps, but let your doctor know of any concerns or questions you have along the way, even in the beginning, about your medicine because we are all unique and react differently. I used to think that any roadblocks or adjustment periods I had with medicines were my fault, but I have learned through experience that it is not the case. My very best thoughts are with you! Please let us know how you are doing, anytime at all. Marianne.

 

[Max's Human]

I told my doctor that I'm smiling on the outside and I'm dying on the inside and that's how we started my conversation.

 

[Brian007]

Depression makes Oscar winning actors of us all, Max's Human .

 

[Max's Human]

Yes so VERY TRUE you are Brian007. It is scary that what is inside can be so different from what we show people.

 

[Katie M]

Yes so VERY TRUE you are Brian007. It is scary that what is inside can be so different from what we show people.

I'm an anxious person by nature. Since I work as a receptionist, I *have* to appear pleasant. I *have* to smile. I always manage it, but over the past year (and especially the past few months), it's become mentally exhausting.

 

[Max's Human]

I remember telling my mom walking around with a big smile makes you look like an empty headed person. We all have emotions and I do not live in HAPPYLAND!
I try not to frown but to me it is being fake if you have no other emotion but happy as a clam.

 

[Brian007]

Hugs all round

 

[margd]

I'm so glad to hear that you've been to the doctor for your depression. I've spent most of my life being depressed and have often thought about what a cruel disease it is. It attacks the very mental qualities we need to get it under control. Without hope or internal energy, it is very hard to make oneself do things that might help. I felt as though my inner battery needed a jump start but the energy needed for that spark had fallen victim to the depression.

I did discover a few things along the way so here they are, FWIW.

1. It helps if you see yourself as a partner in your healing, working with the doctors rather than being a passive recipient of their treatments. Try to find a doctor who respects you and your input as opposed to one who subscribes to the Doctor Knows Best school of thought. Because medical science doesn't really understand how anti-depressants work, patients can sometimes feel like a guinea pig as doctors make what are basically educated guesses in choosing an antidepressant to try. Read up on the different anti-depressants currently available. Identify each one's strengths and weaknesses. If you aren't satisfied with Paxil, don't be hesitant to do your own research and ask your doctor what he or she thinks of the anti-depressant you come up with. Speak up if you don't think the dose is working and if you're bothered by side effects, say so. A good doctor won't mind those kinds of questions and should be able to answer them.

2. Exercise helps. The problem is that when you're really depressed, exercising is often the last thing you want to do. You may even feel that you can't do it, you just don't have the energy or the will to get up and get going. Once you start to feel better, though try to incorporate some form of physical activity in your day. The benefit of exercise in treating depression really can't be overstated.

3. When I felt like I couldn't do anything at all, it often helped if I started a creative project. I did a lot of drawing and crocheting. Designing the projects was fun and challenging and seeing my designs come to life was rewarding. It doesn't matter what it is, though. It just has to be something that you do with your hands and that takes physical form.

4. Journal. Write it out. First, writing can be cathartic and second, you'll see patterns that might be useful as you try to get find your way back to the light again.

5. If you're a spiritual person, explore that side of yourself. I tried to live mindfully, aware of the beauty or essence of each moment in time. That helped, a lot. I tried meditation but for some reason, after I started taking anti-depressants, I could never manage to get past my "monkey brain" into a place of inner peace.

6. Seek out humor. Movies, acts, TV shows, funny books - anything that will make you laugh. Belly laughs are great antidotes to the despair of depression.

7. Music can be a wonderful outlet. Playing a musical instrument, going to a concert, listening to music - getting lost in certain music is an excellent way to take a break from being depressed. Every time I listened to Boogie Woogie piano, it lifted my spirits. Music is a two-edged sword though. Music can also make you feel even more sad and alone. so

8. When you are up for it, seek out social interaction with people who can make you think outside of yourself. Depression drives our focus inward and interacting with others is a great way escape that. Taking our focus from inward to outward is a key part of feeling better.

9. Take care of cats. Ka-ching! You've got that down pat already! When I was depressed, there were periods of time when the only thing that got me out of bed was feeding and watering my cats and cleaning their litter boxes. Getting their food and treats was the only thing that got me out of my apartment.

Jeez, this is much longer than I anticipated it would be! Now I have to decide if I will hit Post Reply.

 

[Katie M]

I was very nervous about telling the doctor, especially since I only just met him. Current events have played a major role in my depression, especially my fear of nuclear war. I think I'm going through an existential crisis of sorts.

I was so afraid of how he'd respond, but he was so understanding. I even found the courage to tell him a couple things I don't want to type here.

 

[Katie M]

I decided to start a Netflix account. I want to try to reignite my interest in movies.

 

[Brian007]

Oooh, that sounds like a good idea. We're watching 'Orange is the New Black' at the moment. What kind of stuff do you like to watch? I'm sure you've just opened a floodgate for suggestions...

 

[Katie M]

I love the classics, but there are still many I've never seen. I'm putting together my queue right now.

 

[Kitty Mommy]

I decided to start a Netflix account. I want to try to reignite my interest in movies.

I'm sorry to hear you are so down right now. I'm glad to hear you went to the doctor and got some medication. I hope it helps you to feel better soon. I like to watch old movies too and a couple of my favorite feel-good movies are Spencer's Mountain with Henry Fonda and We're No Angels with Humphrey Bogart. They both bring out a smile. I'm sending you hugs and good thoughts.

 

[Kitty Mommy]

I love the classics, but there are still many I've never seen. I'm putting together my queue right now.

Some that are really good for a laugh are Father Goose, Operation Petticoat, and Arsenic and Old Lace. Some good dramas are Mildred Pierce, Leave Her To Heaven, Sudden Fear, and The Ten Commandments. If you like old scary movies some good ones are Creature From the Black Lagoon, The Haunting (the one with Claire Bloom), and The Wolfman.

 

[Katie M]

I'm thankful you guys put up with me. I feel like I've been worsening in the last week or so. This feels endless.