I LOST MY BABY BUTTER :(

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Just checking in to see how you are doing and feeling now? :rbheart:
Hi Les! Thank you for checking in! I had a couple bad days last couple days... just extremely sad... That little cat really made a mark on my heart.. It all came to a head yesterday.. I couldnt find Scotchie, his brother.. (he was on a bench under the table!!) I called him and called him (he usually always comes when you call him).. I looked under the beds.. brought out his "spot" (laser pointer) and he always runs when you tell him you are bring out spot...clicked it on and off and nothing..no scotchie.... I ended up running around my house calling out to him, just about losing my mind... I sat down on the floor to cry and that's when i saw him sitting on a bench under the table (he never sits there!!) I grabbed him and just cried and cried and cried... Having Butter just die while sleeping, being so young .. has really messed with me... I've never been afraid of having my cat just die.. i really didn't know that could even happen... I've worried when taking them to the vet or when they were getting old etc.. but Butter just passing away like that has really put a fear in me that's never been there... I know the tears i cried last night were for Butter and for the happiness that i found Scotch! But i just felt defeated last night.. i miss that kitten so badly but nothing will bring him back and that reality crushes me.. i went to bed early as i felt so worn out and sad after all that.. I do feel a bit better again this morning.. but the trauma of losing my boy, that i just loved so much.. really is breaking my heart and it hurts as bad as losing some of my wonderful people i have lost in life.. I really wanted to come on here and cry it out.. but ive been really trying to be ok.. doing things and thinking of things in a different way to help stop this pain.. but i guess, honestly, i should have come on and cried to you all.. as i think i needed (need) some strength you all help give me when im that blue.. Like right now, it Just felt good to get all that out!! Thank you Les!! Thank you! :hearthrob:
 

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...I had a couple bad days last couple days... just extremely sad... That little cat really made a mark on my heart.. It all came to a head yesterday.. I couldnt find Scotchie, his brother.. (he was on a bench under the table!!) I called him and called him (he usually always comes when you call him).. I looked under the beds.. brought out his "spot" (laser pointer) and he always runs when you tell him you are bring out spot...clicked it on and off and nothing..no scotchie.... I ended up running around my house calling out to him, just about losing my mind... I sat down on the floor to cry and that's when i saw him sitting on a bench under the table (he never sits there!!) I grabbed him and just cried and cried and cried... Having Butter just die while sleeping, being so young .. has really messed with me... I've never been afraid of having my cat just die.. i really didn't know that could even happen... I've worried when taking them to the vet or when they were getting old etc.. but Butter just passing away like that has really put a fear in me that's never been there... I know the tears i cried last night were for Butter and for the happiness that i found Scotch! But i just felt defeated last night.. i miss that kitten so badly but nothing will bring him back and that reality crushes me.. i went to bed early as i felt so worn out and sad after all that.. I do feel a bit better again this morning.. but the trauma of losing my boy, that i just loved so much.. really is breaking my heart and it hurts as bad as losing some of my wonderful people i have lost in life..
tbtra tbtra ....:alright: :hugs: :grouphug:
Those dam waves of sadness are going to happen.
Strangely, last night, while I was going to sleep...I was thinking about what you had said in a previous post...
I always said they were sure gonna be handsome men when they grew up!
Not sure why...but it made me angry, and sad,...the sudden way things happened, ...and that you won't be able to see Butter get old.
It just all seemed too sudden, and unfair. Then I had to tell myself...that there must be a reason...we don't see.

And then I thought...that eventually,...when your heart heals some more...you will be able to give that abundant love you have...to another small being.
(I was angry, sad, then angry again,...then okay....which is kind of strange...since Butter was not my cat...but his story and yours...really touched my heart, too. Probably because he died so young.)

I don't know, tbtra tbtra ...do you think that the timing of ...all this...and the timing of losing your wonderful human loved ones...may make it a bit harder.
I know you mentioned losing your special people, in the last few years...(mom, dad, and elderly cat)...when you posted to maria...so I don't know ...if it's the sudden loss...or the whole hit after hit ...that is painful.
Probably all of it.:rbheart:

(I know that when I lost my elderly mom, in sept. 2018, to colon cancer...I kind of went numb...for a long while. But that loss...is way bigger to me...than anything else.)

So I guess Grief...just hits us all so differently...and at different times.
Nothing we can do...just ride it out...day by day. :hugs:
I really wanted to come on here and cry it out.. but ive been really trying to be ok.. doing things and thinking of things in a different way to help stop this pain.. but i guess, honestly, i should have come on and cried to you all.. as i think i needed (need) some strength you all help give me when im that blue.. Like right now, it Just felt good to get all that out!! Thank you Les!! Thank you!
I'm so glad that Les asked you how you're doing.
I'm terrible at doing that.
I never know when to ask...and usually either wait a week...or too long...thinking...that the other person might be doing better...so I don't really want to interrupt their day...and ask about something so sad.
Or...I just wait and see when the other person brings it up,...which again...is not really checking in.
 
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tbtra tbtra ....:alright: :hugs: :grouphug:
Those dam waves of sadness are going to happen.
Strangely, last night, while I was going to sleep...I was thinking about what you had said in a previous post...

Not sure why...but it made me angry, and sad,...the sudden way things happened, ...and that you won't be able to see Butter get old.
It just all seemed too sudden, and unfair. Then I had to tell myself...that there must be a reason...we don't see.

And then I thought...that eventually,...when your heart heals some more...you will be able to give that abundant love you have...to another small being.
(I was angry, sad, then angry again,...then okay....which is kind of strange...since Butter was not my cat...but his story and yours...really touched my heart, too. Probably because he died so young.)

I don't know, tbtra tbtra ...do you think that the timing of ...all this...and the timing of losing your wonderful human loved ones...may make it a bit harder.
I know you mentioned losing your special people, in the last few years...(mom, dad, and elderly cat)...when you posted to maria...so I don't know ...if it's the sudden loss...or the whole hit after hit ...that is painful.
Probably all of it.:rbheart:

(I know that when I lost my elderly mom, in sept. 2018, to colon cancer...I kind of went numb...for a long while. But that loss...is way bigger to me...than anything else.)

So I guess Grief...just hits us all so differently...and at different times.
Nothing we can do...just ride it out...day by day. :hugs:

I'm so glad that Les asked you how you're doing.
I'm terrible at doing that.
I never know when to ask...and usually either wait a week...or too long...thinking...that the other person might be doing better...so I don't really want to interrupt their day...and ask about something so sad.
Or...I just wait and see when the other person brings it up,...which again...is not really checking in.
Hi Catnap! That's so how I feel! Sad, then mad, then sad.. And I really think that's the problem too, Butter was so young and such a good little soul... that it's so hard to make sense of it all... Then sometimes I just get so anxious when I think about never seeing my boy again and never seeing him grow old with Scotch :( I want to "rewind" the world and make it all ok again, with him alive, running around and being my adorable Butter.. But I know i can't do that..and again, that makes me so upset, the reality that he wont ever be back... I think you are so right too... All the loss I have had in the last couple years I'm sure compounds my grief over Butter.. I'm very sorry you lost your mom :alright: that was the hardest loss for me too... She was declining for years (COPD, Diabetic, heart problems) but when she passed away last year it was not expected and It took me a long time to get over too .. still don't think i'm over it..And my Dad the year before that.. he was sick for many years so it was not out of the blue but it was so painful, my rock, the man that could handle anything and help me navigate life... was gone .. :sigh: so I think you are right... all this loss.. all my heartache.. Butters loss compounded all the pain in my heart and it's been so hard to handle this grief... And sometimes it feels foolish to say it to people, as i know Butter was "just a cat" but in reality he wasn't just a cat, he was my happiness, my little fury dose of joy that helped me heal the loss of my parents and my Sunshine.. Then boom ... he's gone too.. so i think the not making sense of it all ..and the sudden loss... and the emptiness he left has made it hard to keep on keeping on.. with a smile on my face any way.. and last night when i thought something happened to my Scotch.. That undid me totally... i was a mess.. but maybe i needed to have a good break as i've been putting on a 'brave' face and trying not to get down over Butter, but all those feelings came gushing out again last night..
I find myself seeing Scotch in a solid sleep sometimes and i have to shake him and wake him to make sure he is "OK"... so I think all of this has def traumatized me and I have to realize it's ok to not be ok.. And you are so right.. Grief hit's us at all different times in all different ways and I just have to go with the feelings i have at the time.. and I hope one day i can think of butter with more happiness than sadness .. but i think i will always wonder what he would have been like, for 10/14 years.. sharing my life.. there really has be some sort of reason in the universe some where.. there has to be.. :rbheart: Thank you for your kind words and your support you and everyone on here has given me. It really does good to get this all out instead of keeping it in my head and my heart! Thanks again Catnap!! Your words and your thoughts help so much!! :heartshape:
 

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Hi Catnap! That's so how I feel! Sad, then mad, then sad.. And I really think that's the problem too, Butter was so young and such a good little soul... that it's so hard to make sense of it all... Then sometimes I just get so anxious when I think about never seeing my boy again and never seeing him grow old with Scotch :( I want to "rewind" the world and make it all ok again, with him alive, running around and being my adorable Butter.. But I know i can't do that..and again, that makes me so upset, the reality that he wont ever be back..
Those emotions are entirely okay to feel. As long as we don't get stuck in one...for too long.

I remember a member on this Site, Denice, said something like 'emotions with Grief '...are released in small amounts, or smaller portions...at a time,...so as not to overwhelm the person, too much. (She said it way, way better,...than I'm doing now....but it made a lot of sense.) Like all these feelings don't get released all at once...but a bit at a time...in order to cope with them, as best you can.

"I want to "rewind" the world and make it all ok again, with him alive, running around and being my adorable Butter.. But I know i can't do that..and again, that makes me so upset, the reality that he wont ever be back.."

I understand the wanting to "rewind" the world, again, too,...Tbtra.🌎 💫 🌏
It would be so cool to "rewind the world"...for a bit ...just to experience some of those "all okay again" times. :catrub:
Now only contained within our own memories.

(In fact...I remember in the last four months...asking my younger sister..."if she had a 'time machine', like the tv show 'timeless'...would she go back and try and change things...to before our mom died?". She said, "no...that too many things might change...and that we'd still probably have to experience her loss, heartache, and death, over again." I said, "yes, I would, just to have another chance to make things better." But ultimately, my sister is right...it wouldn't change things completely, and things would probably turn out just the same. As things have to happen, I suppose.)
... I think you are so right too... All the loss I have had in the last couple years I'm sure compounds my grief over Butter.. I'm very sorry you lost your mom :alright: that was the hardest loss for me too... She was declining for years (COPD, Diabetic, heart problems) but when she passed away last year it was not expected and It took me a long time to get over too .. still don't think i'm over it..And my Dad the year before that.. he was sick for many years so it was not out of the blue but it was so painful, my rock, the man that could handle anything and help me navigate life... was gone .. :sigh: so I think you are right... all this loss.. all my heartache.. Butters loss compounded all the pain in my heart and it's been so hard to handle this grief...
Thank you tbtra tbtra . :hugs: for your kind words.
..it definitely is the hardest loss. (she was 85 years old...so a good long life...but to me...still miss her everyday.)

Your losses are so much more recent,...last year and the year before. :hugs::touched:
Accept my condolences for both your parents. :heartshape:

Maybe it's okay to not get over it...but just to live with it,...each day getting a little bit easier,... and we getting a little bit stronger, too. :)
The way you describe your dad, as your "rock, the man that could handle anything and help me navigate life..." (sounds like my dad, too, who will be 89 years old, this year,...but acts more like 79...so I'm lucky...in that regard.) I think that my parents' generation...were so much more tougher, worked hard, saw and went through so many changes. They don't build them like that anymore. Solid rocks, indeed.

You losing one parent, then another,... and now Butter...does make it so much more heartbreak, too.
... And sometimes it feels foolish to say it to people, as i know Butter was "just a cat" but in reality he wasn't just a cat, he was my happiness, my little fury dose of joy that helped me heal the loss of my parents and my Sunshine.. Then boom ... he's gone too.. so i think the not making sense of it all ..and the sudden loss... and the emptiness he left has made it hard to keep on keeping on.. with a smile on my face any way.. and last night when i thought something happened to my Scotch.. That undid me totally... i was a mess.. but maybe i needed to have a good break as i've been putting on a 'brave' face and trying not to get down over Butter, but all those feelings came gushing out again last night..
Not foolish at all.
The way you describe Butter as "he wasn't just a cat, he was my happiness, my little fury dose of joy that helped me heal the loss of my parents and my Sunshine.." is so meaningful. :rbheart:
Makes total sense...that you needed to release those inside feelings.
I find myself seeing Scotch in a solid sleep sometimes and i have to shake him and wake him to make sure he is "OK"... so I think all of this has def traumatized me and I have to realize it's ok to not be ok.. And you are so right.. Grief hit's us at all different times in all different ways and I just have to go with the feelings i have at the time.. and I hope one day i can think of butter with more happiness than sadness .. but i think i will always wonder what he would have been like, for 10/14 years.. sharing my life.. there really has be some sort of reason in the universe some where.. there has to be.. :rbheart: Thank you for your kind words and your support you and everyone on here has given me. It really does good to get this all out instead of keeping it in my head and my heart! Thanks again Catnap!! Your words and your thoughts help so much!! :heartshape:
I could imagine that seeing Scotch in a deep sleep...would worry me, too. I would do the same exact thing.
(I have shaken my dog and cat...a few times...just to wake them up...since their chests didn't seem to be moving at all...or they didnt automatically wake...when I walked past them...and so I could understand that it would be ten times more worry for you, too.)

You've helped me more than you know, too, tbtra tbtra . :hugs:
So the "thanks" is mutual. :touched:
 
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Those emotions are entirely okay to feel. As long as we don't get stuck in one...for too long.

I remember a member on this Site, Denice, said something like 'emotions with Grief '...are released in small amounts, or smaller portions...at a time,...so as not to overwhelm the person, too much. (She said it way, way better,...than I'm doing now....but it made a lot of sense.) Like all these feelings don't get released all at once...but a bit at a time...in order to cope with them, as best you can.

"I want to "rewind" the world and make it all ok again, with him alive, running around and being my adorable Butter.. But I know i can't do that..and again, that makes me so upset, the reality that he wont ever be back.."

I understand the wanting to "rewind" the world, again, too,...Tbtra.🌎 💫 🌏
It would be so cool to "rewind the world"...for a bit ...just to experience some of those "all okay again" times. :catrub:
Now only contained within our own memories.

(In fact...I remember in the last four months...asking my younger sister..."if she had a 'time machine', like the tv show 'timeless'...would she go back and try and change things...to before our mom died?". She said, "no...that too many things might change...and that we'd still probably have to experience her loss, heartache, and death, over again." I said, "yes, I would, just to have another chance to make things better." But ultimately, my sister is right...it wouldn't change things completely, and things would probably turn out just the same. As things have to happen, I suppose.)

Thank you tbtra tbtra . :hugs: for your kind words.
..it definitely is the hardest loss. (she was 85 years old...so a good long life...but to me...still miss her everyday.)

Your losses are so much more recent,...last year and the year before. :hugs::touched:
Accept my condolences for both your parents. :heartshape:

Maybe it's okay to not get over it...but just to live with it,...each day getting a little bit easier,... and we getting a little bit stronger, too. :)
The way you describe your dad, as your "rock, the man that could handle anything and help me navigate life..." (sounds like my dad, too, who will be 89 years old, this year,...but acts more like 79...so I'm lucky...in that regard.) I think that my parents' generation...were so much more tougher, worked hard, saw and went through so many changes. They don't build them like that anymore. Solid rocks, indeed.

You losing one parent, then another,... and now Butter...does make it so much more heartbreak, too.

Not foolish at all.
The way you describe Butter as "he wasn't just a cat, he was my happiness, my little fury dose of joy that helped me heal the loss of my parents and my Sunshine.." is so meaningful. :rbheart:
Makes total sense...that you needed to release those inside feelings.

I could imagine that seeing Scotch in a deep sleep...would worry me, too. I would do the same exact thing.
(I have shaken my dog and cat...a few times...just to wake them up...since their chests didn't seem to be moving at all...or they didnt automatically wake...when I walked past them...and so I could understand that it would be ten times more worry for you, too.)

You've helped me more than you know, too, tbtra tbtra . :hugs:
So the "thanks" is mutual. :touched:
Good morning Catnap :blush: Thank you so much for your wonderful reply. Your responses always brighten my day and help me feel so much better!! I think it's so true about the grief, that it only comes out in small doses or we would be so overwhelmed we wouldnt be able to move on in life! That's how its happening with my Butter. I get so sad and upset and once i let it out, i can go on again, but then the wave comes again and crashes over me and I'm on my knee's crying again.. If that didnt let up at all, I wouldn't be able to function.. but you are also right, i need to let those feelings out when they come. For a few days this week i tried to keep them at bay, push away any feelings, then all that happened where i couldnt find Scotchie and I just lost it.. and I think it was so overwhelming because i held it in all week,..my tears came out like a damn breaking... so I do need to recognize it's ok to feel the sadness and let it come out when it's here..

You're sister sounds as wise as you :) i guess if we did get to go back and there really was no way to change these tragedies in our lives.. we would just have to go through it all again.. that makes a lot of sense and i never really thought of it that way, I just thought we could have good times back again, but when you rewind, you have to go ahead again and we would still be where we are at today so i guess there really is no escaping reality, even if we did have a time machine or a rewind button!!

I'm so glad to hear you still have your Dad! And no they don't make them like that any more! My Dad was the same, he had heart troubles and surgeries etc.. but it never kept him down! He would start his exercise right away and get himself back into good shape after each set back.. he even got so well he was able to meet his friends at the bar on Friday nights for his couple of weekly beers!! But he had a valve problem that couldnt be fixed and it took him down in the end..but he sure went down fighting .. he always made me look at things in a different way, like you all do here on this site.. and it does help so much to put more information in my mind that helps me see reason and hope instead of playing my own sad, depressing thoughts over and over again, digging myself into a deeper whole of sadness... I'm glad you still have your Dad here to continue helping you navigate life! I often reread my dads old emails from tough times gone by and they still help me today.. Even talking about my dad and my mom, i was crushed with each loss .. :sigh: but i managed to go on with life and i can think of them now with happiness (tears still on some days, but mostly smiles and thoughts of some great days gone by) so i know i will get there with my Butter.. And i realize most everyone on this site has lost a dear loved pet and I'm not alone in my grief and pain.... it really helps to have people know how we feel .. i do know a lot of peeps that have never owned an animal and they just dont understand how it effects us so deeply.. So im glad i have you all to cry to and talk to :rbheart: You've been specially wonderful Catnap :touched:you should be a counselor or a writer as you really grasp what people are saying and point out things we dont see and your words are very healing!
I feel stronger today, i know that can change in a moments notice, but I do feel less heavy and sad this morning, so thank you again! Hopefully as you said, maybe we just learn to live with it and get stronger each day! And it also made me feel not so crazy that you have also checked to make sure you dog or cat to be sure they were "OK" too! :redheartpump:
I hope you have a good rest of the week, i feel a bit better able to cope now and if I don't I'll let it out, Ill cry or Ill come on here for help! :sunshine:Just wont stuff if down again! Day by day I hope the sadness fades and I can find the good in life again .. and look ahead without so much sadness that my Bubbies isn't there to share it with me!

Thank you again, so much, for the encouragement and support Catnap! :heartshape::touched:
 

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I was going to ask for another 'Butter and Scotch' photo...to make me smile...but then I remembered...that I only have to go to the top of this page...and laugh...at the two of them in your bathtub. How cute is that. :blush: :lol:

Your recent avatar, is really sweet, too. :cloud9:
Butter's paws look big...in the photo...like he's wearing 'hockey goalie's gloves'...or 'baseball catcher's mitts'...but it's only the angle...and in other photos...he looks like he grew into them just fine. Not too big, and not too small...just the right size to play with. :thumbsup: :clap::whistle:
 

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I'm so truly sorry for what happened to Butter and you. This is so devastating, heart-crushing, scaring, I think anyone would be deeply shocked by such a sudden and unexpected loss.
The only thing that comes to my mind is that Butter had an unknown heart issue, nobody could have prevented it. One thing is for sure, though, he passed away without realizing, without suffering. He was sleeping and dreaming of chasing butterflies in a sun-warmed meadow and and all of the sudden, just another leap, and he was there with lots of butterflies and new friends to play with.
He's gone, but not sad. He is in a good place, thinking of the hugs and kisses he would give you. He left Scotch with you, Butter knows he will be as lovely and friendly as he was, Butter knows you will never forget him. Butter still loves you, forever!
 
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I was going to ask for another 'Butter and Scotch' photo...to make me smile...but then I remembered...that I only have to go to the top of this page...and laugh...at the two of them in your bathtub. How cute is that. :blush: :lol:

Your recent avatar, is really sweet, too. :cloud9:
Butter's paws look big...in the photo...like he's wearing 'hockey goalie's gloves'...or 'baseball catcher's mitts'...but it's only the angle...and in other photos...he looks like he grew into them just fine. Not too big, and not too small...just the right size to play with. :thumbsup: :clap::whistle:
hahah Yes, he did have big paws! That's one of the reasons i was excited to see what they woudl look like as big boys! They are 1/2 Maine Coon and half short hair domestic so he really was probably going to be a big boy!! You know what's funny.. well not funny but strange? I've just gone through a bunch of pictures of the boys.. A lot of the pictures where Butter and Scotch are sleeping together, Scotch always slept on Butter and held, hugged him... And when I found Butter .. Scotchie was on him the same way but wide awake but holding on to him.. I wonder if Scotch knew all along some thing was wrong with Bubbies? I've attached a couple more pictures! You know I love to post pics of them :redheartpump: :)
 

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I'm so truly sorry for what happened to Butter and you. This is so devastating, heart-crushing, scaring, I think anyone would be deeply shocked by such a sudden and unexpected loss.
The only thing that comes to my mind is that Butter had an unknown heart issue, nobody could have prevented it. One thing is for sure, though, he passed away without realizing, without suffering. He was sleeping and dreaming of chasing butterflies in a sun-warmed meadow and and all of the sudden, just another leap, and he was there with lots of butterflies and new friends to play with.
He's gone, but not sad. He is in a good place, thinking of the hugs and kisses he would give you. He left Scotch with you, Butter knows he will be as lovely and friendly as he was, Butter knows you will never forget him. Butter still loves you, forever!
Awww thank you Antonio :redheartpump: I just got choked up there. You are so right! He did pass without suffering, no vet visit.. no putting to sleep, just laying in the sun with his brother, as you said, chasing butterflies and all of a sudden he was chasing them somewhere else :rbheart: sounds so peaceful and easy for my boy. I loved the kisses he gave me! He would sit on my lap, i would talk to him and he would look right at me and then rush up to my face and give me a big kiss.. it really was amazing! I will never forget my boy xxx he has imprinted my heart with his love for the rest of my days!! He does still love me (crying) ..and i will love him for ever and ever :redheartpump: Thank you for your kind, comforting words!! They really mean a lot and help my heart!
 
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Awww thank you Antonio :redheartpump: I just got choked up there. You are so right! He did pass without suffering, no vet visit.. no putting to sleep, just laying in the sun with his brother, as you said, chasing butterflies and all of a sudden he was chasing them somewhere else :rbheart: sounds so peaceful and easy for my boy. I loved the kisses he gave me! He would sit on my lap, i would talk to him and he would look right at me and then rush up to my face and give me a big kiss.. it really was amazing! I will never forget my boy xxx he has imprinted my heart with his love for the rest of my days!! He does still love me (crying) ..and i will love him for ever and ever :redheartpump: Thank you for your kind, comforting words!! They really mean a lot and help my heart!
PS. I see you have lost many fur babies yourself! I'm sorry for that! But i love what you say "they are forever in your heart" They never really do leave us do they? :rbheart::redheartpump::rbheart:
 

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tbtra tbtra , your words moved me to tears, but don't worry, it's alright.
I do understand the special bond you and Butter had, one of those once-in-the-lifetime things, the kind of things that should never come to an end.
I had this special bond with Lola, the cat in my profile photo. The sense of emptiness that her death left me is still there. I have two lovely kitties now, they are close to perfection, but no cat will ever come near to what Lola was.
Yes, I lost a few cats myself, Lola and Pallina were my two senior cats, the others were cats I had for a much shorter time, but they all left a print on my heart, they all took a piece of my heart away with them.
When I lost Pallina, the last cat who passed away, I was sure I was left with no heart any more, that I would have never been able to feel love for another cat any longer. But it seems that other people in this forum were right. The heart can heal itself, can regenerate, and when it comes back to its full functions again you will be able to love again. Take your time, take comfort from and give comfort to Scotch. You both need each other to go through this, and together you will make it.
Hugs!
 
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tbtra

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tbtra tbtra , your words moved me to tears, but don't worry, it's alright.
I do understand the special bond you and Butter had, one of those once-in-the-lifetime things, the kind of things that should never come to an end.
I had this special bond with Lola, the cat in my profile photo. The sense of emptiness that her death left me is still there. I have two lovely kitties now, they are close to perfection, but no cat will ever come near to what Lola was.
Yes, I lost a few cats myself, Lola and Pallina were my two senior cats, the others were cats I had for a much shorter time, but they all left a print on my heart, they all took a piece of my heart away with them.
When I lost Pallina, the last cat who passed away, I was sure I was left with no heart any more, that I would have never been able to feel love for another cat any longer. But it seems that other people in this forum were right. The heart can heal itself, can regenerate, and when it comes back to its full functions again you will be able to love again. Take your time, take comfort from and give comfort to Scotch. You both need each other to go through this, and together you will make it.
Hugs!
Your Lola was beautiful and looked like such a character! I'm sorry for the loss of all your fur babies! It's just so painful... I'm so glad you were able to love a kitty again and have two little kittens to give your love to! I think life feels so empty without our those fuzzy adorable animals running around. I always say god knew what he was doing when he made kittens!! Pure love and happiness to share our days with!
I've been giving Scotchie so much love and attention and he's been giving it right back. He was always the quieter of the two so i've worried about him not having Butter to show him the way and help him come out of his shyness.. But he's doing good :redheartpump: he's eating and playing and snuggles with me more then he ever did... sometimes his little face looks sad though.. hopefully it's just in my mind.. but he is such a good kitten and i hope he will be ok :rbheart:
Thank you again for your help and your kind words of comfort! :redheartpump:
 
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tbtra

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I was going to ask for another 'Butter and Scotch' photo...to make me smile...but then I remembered...that I only have to go to the top of this page...and laugh...at the two of them in your bathtub. How cute is that. :blush: :lol:

Your recent avatar, is really sweet, too. :cloud9:
Butter's paws look big...in the photo...like he's wearing 'hockey goalie's gloves'...or 'baseball catcher's mitts'...but it's only the angle...and in other photos...he looks like he grew into them just fine. Not too big, and not too small...just the right size to play with. :thumbsup: :clap::whistle:
Just found this gem :redheartpump: Butter was such a confident handsome little guy!!! I sure miss this face!!!
 

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