I LOST MY BABY BUTTER :(

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tbtra

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Scotch will be ok, no doubt.
Butter will keep loving you through him, and you will feel it.
Take care, and give a kiss to Scotch for me, please.
Aw, I love that! Butter will keep loving me through Scotchie :lovecat2: I sure will give Scotch a kiss from you :redheartpump: Thank you so much Antonio :heartshape:
 

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Good morning Catnap :blush: Thank you so much for your wonderful reply. Your responses always brighten my day and help me feel so much better!! I think it's so true about the grief, that it only comes out in small doses or we would be so overwhelmed we wouldnt be able to move on in life! That's how its happening with my Butter. I get so sad and upset and once i let it out, i can go on again, but then the wave comes again and crashes over me and I'm on my knee's crying again.. If that didnt let up at all, I wouldn't be able to function.. but you are also right, i need to let those feelings out when they come. For a few days this week i tried to keep them at bay, push away any feelings, then all that happened where i couldnt find Scotchie and I just lost it.. and I think it was so overwhelming because i held it in all week,..my tears came out like a damn breaking... so I do need to recognize it's ok to feel the sadness and let it come out when it's here..
It makes sense to want to push away any feelings...and distract yourself with things that make you feel better, too.
I tend to enjoy comedies, and sci-fi tv shows, or sci-fi movies, that I can get lost in...and escape to.
Documentaries, history, and some biographies, as well.
Anything positive that works for you is good.
Even household chores...where you see all the progress you made...is kind of relaxing once you're finished.

But yeah, that sadness does come in waves...(and for me...when my young cat died, at 2 yrs,...I would start to cry at the weirdest times...like while doing the laundry... and seeing his favourite spots where he liked to sleep,... or while watching t.v....and noticing a window where he liked to look out, or just picturing him walking around a corner...It would happen when I least expected it to.)
But like you said...it was really good to cry for a while...and release those emotions...and then carry on with my day.
I felt more peaceful, afterwards.
You're sister sounds as wise as you :) i guess if we did get to go back and there really was no way to change these tragedies in our lives.. we would just have to go through it all again.. that makes a lot of sense and i never really thought of it that way, I just thought we could have good times back again, but when you rewind, you have to go ahead again and we would still be where we are at today so i guess there really is no escaping reality, even if we did have a time machine or a rewind button!!
Lol. You made me LOL...about that comment about my younger sister sounding 'as wise'. :blush:
I'll definitely tell her that...to make her feel better.
(But nooo...she's younger...she cannot be wiser...or so I tell her that....just to bug her.) :lol: :hmmm: :wink:

(Though...you are absolutely right....she does have her 'wise moments'...as we all do.
She is very practical, and organized, and does not procrastinate. Ultra sensitive, though.
I'm like the opposite of that...still sensitive...but not organized...and always procrastinating.
We're like 'night and day'...total opposites in thinking...but I like to bounce ideas back and forth with her...even if I know she'll always choose the opposite. Ah, well...it's family...what can you do.)

I still like your idea of a 'rewind button' ...though...I'd probably be wanting to use it all the time...
Yeah, so true...facing reality makes us much stronger...than trying to avoid it.:rbheart: :walk::fallsmiley:
I'm so glad to hear you still have your Dad! And no they don't make them like that any more! My Dad was the same, he had heart troubles and surgeries etc.. but it never kept him down! He would start his exercise right away and get himself back into good shape after each set back.. he even got so well he was able to meet his friends at the bar on Friday nights for his couple of weekly beers!! But he had a valve problem that couldnt be fixed and it took him down in the end..but he sure went down fighting .. he always made me look at things in a different way, like you all do here on this site.. and it does help so much to put more information in my mind that helps me see reason and hope instead of playing my own sad, depressing thoughts over and over again, digging myself into a deeper whole of sadness... I'm glad you still have your Dad here to continue helping you navigate life! I often reread my dads old emails from tough times gone by and they still help me today.. Even talking about my dad and my mom, i was crushed with each loss .. :sigh: but i managed to go on with life and i can think of them now with happiness (tears still on some days, but mostly smiles and thoughts of some great days gone by) so i know i will get there with my Butter..
Your dad sounds way more cooler than mine.

( Mine is kind of a complainer, or what I'd call ..."a negative nancy". :hmmm:
I still love my dad, and all, since he instilled a positive work ethic into all of us, and he always put family first,...showed us what hard work...and never to give up...could do.)
(My mom was more the social one, and loved people,...had a great sense of humour, kinder, sensitive and strong. Taught us to be kind to others...Have faith, and also not to ever give up, or to feel stuck,...just try to do what we could...and find what makes us satisfied in life. She actually got alzheimers (at about 81 yrs)...about four years before she died...so her personality was changing...and her memory was going...but she never really lost it all...so we were lucky.)

Remembering 'some great days gone by'...also helps me, too. :)
You will get there with your Butter...with the passage of time...and not being too hard on yourself...when you are feeling down.
Shifting our focus...does take a lot of effort, though.
I find I have to sometimes let my thoughts go...and then not follow them...to be able to do something else.
When I am physically doing something....then it is way more easier to do.
... And i realize most everyone on this site has lost a dear loved pet and I'm not alone in my grief and pain.... it really helps to have people know how we feel .. i do know a lot of peeps that have never owned an animal and they just dont understand how it effects us so deeply.. So im glad i have you all to cry to and talk to :rbheart: You've been specially wonderful Catnap :touched:you should be a counselor or a writer as you really grasp what people are saying and point out things we dont see and your words are very healing!
That's so true...most of us here, ..have already lost many pets, who we consider to be as family members,...so it does hit us harder.
I kind of feel a bit sorry for some people...who have never experienced the love of a pet, or the taking care of one...and the unconditional love and joy they bring to our lives. Even when it's a goldfish, or hamster or something...I figured that they would enrich their lives...but I guess like they say...to each their own. Whatever works for them, I guess. Though, rightly or wrongly,...I think that people who have animals...are somewhat kinder and more generous somehow. Maybe not, ..but that's what I'd like to think.

You're too kind tbtra tbtra .:blush:
Trust me...me being a counselor....wouldn't be that great...
I could easily write things out...since I have time to think about what I write...but to actually counsel people...I would be terrible. :disappointed: :ohwell:
I don't often...take my own advice. But here, with you,...I am learning how to. :idea:

I could see myself as being a writer, though.
But mostly fiction. :read:
Not anything based in reality...which I think I like to often try to escape from...it's like you said before...it's hard to deal with reality at times...so we all need some enjoyable breaks...and healthy diversions.

I'm so glad that some of the things I write are healing for you...
I find a lot of the things you write...also make me think...and reflect on aspects of my life.
I find a lot of motivation in your words. :clover:
And even though I hate that you have to experience this sadness, now, with losing Butter...I get a strength from the words you do write. :purplebutterfly:
I feel stronger today, i know that can change in a moments notice, but I do feel less heavy and sad this morning, so thank you again! Hopefully as you said, maybe we just learn to live with it and get stronger each day! And it also made me feel not so crazy that you have also checked to make sure you dog or cat to be sure they were "OK" too! :redheartpump:
I hope you have a good rest of the week, i feel a bit better able to cope now and if I don't I'll let it out, Ill cry or Ill come on here for help! :sunshine:Just wont stuff if down again! Day by day I hope the sadness fades and I can find the good in life again .. and look ahead without so much sadness that my Bubbies isn't there to share it with me!

Thank you again, so much, for the encouragement and support Catnap! :heartshape:
I liked the way you wrote before about "feeling a little less"... "heart heavy"....that is such a good term for it. ❤
Even if i cry, i know it's got to be helping me as i feel just a little less "heart heavy" Every day!
And I do hope that we all feel a little more ..."stronger each day"...no matter where on this journey we are at. :rbheart: :grouphug: :hugs:
I hope you have a good week, too. :catrub:
And yes, always come here, when you feel you need to let your feelings out, need to vent, ...or just need to post some more wonderful photos, too. :rbheart:
 
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tbtra

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It makes sense to want to push away any feelings...and distract yourself with things that make you feel better, too.
I tend to enjoy comedies, and sci-fi tv shows, or sci-fi movies, that I can get lost in...and escape to.
Documentaries, history, and some biographies, as well.
Anything positive that works for you is good.
Even household chores...where you see all the progress you made...is kind of relaxing once you're finished.

But yeah, that sadness does come in waves...(and for me...when my young cat died, at 2 yrs,...I would start to cry at the weirdest times...like while doing the laundry... and seeing his favourite spots where he liked to sleep,... or while watching t.v....and noticing a window where he liked to look out, or just picturing him walking around a corner...It would happen when I least expected it to.)
But like you said...it was really good to cry for a while...and release those emotions...and then carry on with my day.
I felt more peaceful, afterwards.

Lol. You made me LOL...about that comment about my younger sister sounding 'as wise'. :blush:
I'll definitely tell her that...to make her feel better.
(But nooo...she's younger...she cannot be wiser...or so I tell her that....just to bug her.) :lol: :hmmm: :wink:

(Though...you are absolutely right....she does have her 'wise moments'...as we all do.
She is very practical, and organized, and does not procrastinate. Ultra sensitive, though.
I'm like the opposite of that...still sensitive...but not organized...and always procrastinating.
We're like 'night and day'...total opposites in thinking...but I like to bounce ideas back and forth with her...even if I know she'll always choose the opposite. Ah, well...it's family...what can you do.)

I still like your idea of a 'rewind button' ...though...I'd probably be wanting to use it all the time...
Yeah, so true...facing reality makes us much stronger...than trying to avoid it.:rbheart: :walk::fallsmiley:

Your dad sounds way more cooler than mine.

( Mine is kind of a complainer, or what I'd call ..."a negative nancy". :hmmm:
I still love my dad, and all, since he instilled a positive work ethic into all of us, and he always put family first,...showed us what hard work...and never to give up...could do.)
(My mom was more the social one, and loved people,...had a great sense of humour, kinder, sensitive and strong. Taught us to be kind to others...Have faith, and also not to ever give up, or to feel stuck,...just try to do what we could...and find what makes us satisfied in life. She actually got alzheimers (at about 81 yrs)...about four years before she died...so her personality was changing...and her memory was going...but she never really lost it all...so we were lucky.)

Remembering 'some great days gone by'...also helps me, too. :)
You will get there with your Butter...with the passage of time...and not being too hard on yourself...when you are feeling down.
Shifting our focus...does take a lot of effort, though.
I find I have to sometimes let my thoughts go...and then not follow them...to be able to do something else.
When I am physically doing something....then it is way more easier to do.

That's so true...most of us here, ..have already lost many pets, who we consider to be as family members,...so it does hit us harder.
I kind of feel a bit sorry for some people...who have never experienced the love of a pet, or the taking care of one...and the unconditional love and joy they bring to our lives. Even when it's a goldfish, or hamster or something...I figured that they would enrich their lives...but I guess like they say...to each their own. Whatever works for them, I guess. Though, rightly or wrongly,...I think that people who have animals...are somewhat kinder and more generous somehow. Maybe not, ..but that's what I'd like to think.

You're too kind tbtra tbtra .:blush:
Trust me...me being a counselor....wouldn't be that great...
I could easily write things out...since I have time to think about what I write...but to actually counsel people...I would be terrible. :disappointed: :ohwell:
I don't often...take my own advice. But here, with you,...I am learning how to. :idea:

I could see myself as being a writer, though.
But mostly fiction. :read:
Not anything based in reality...which I think I like to often try to escape from...it's like you said before...it's hard to deal with reality at times...so we all need some enjoyable breaks...and healthy diversions.

I'm so glad that some of the things I write are healing for you...
I find a lot of the things you write...also make me think...and reflect on aspects of my life.
I find a lot of motivation in your words. :clover:
And even though I hate that you have to experience this sadness, now, with losing Butter...I get a strength from the words you do write. :purplebutterfly:

I liked the way you wrote before about "feeling a little less"... "heart heavy"....that is such a good term for it. ❤

And I do hope that we all feel a little more ..."stronger each day"...no matter where on this journey we are at. :rbheart: :grouphug: :hugs:
I hope you have a good week, too. :catrub:
And yes, always come here, when you feel you need to let your feelings out, need to vent, ...or just need to post some more wonderful photos, too. :rbheart:
Hi Catnap :) thank you for your words and advice! I will def start keeping a bit busier to keep my mind busy and not think so much.... I see my baby Butter every where around the house and it breaks my heart too but keeping a bit busier may help that too and you are so right, its wonderful when we clean away our pain, as then the house looks good and that feels good!!
Your parents sound a lot like mine :) Im so sorry your mom had alzhemiers ..thats such an awful disease.. im glad she didnt lose her self in the end though, thats a blessing! I love your thoughts on your sister too hahah siblings are great...well most of the time! Id'e be lost without my sister, even though it's not peaches and cream all the time, we are always there for good and bad times! The best thing is we know our siblings since day one and have so many memories in common.. and thats even so much more important after losing my parents. She's the only one that remembers the things i do now that they are both gone..so im glad we both have sisters .. though there have been times i wasnt so glad hahahahah
Thank you again for your kind words of encouragement and inspiration! I'm glad i have given you some also :) Amazing how we all need each other and really can help each other!! Thanks you Catnap!!! I really appreciate your help :rbheart:
 

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Hi Catnap :) thank you for your words and advice! I will def start keeping a bit busier to keep my mind busy and not think so much.... I see my baby Butter every where around the house and it breaks my heart too but keeping a bit busier may help that too and you are so right, its wonderful when we clean away our pain, as then the house looks good and that feels good!!
I find keeping busy helps me, too, ...like you said...not think so much...at times.
But I wouldn't go all wild...and start cleaning everywhere.
I don't know about you...but it's still winter, here...and winter...means hibernation, and basically acting like a couch potato...unless it snows...and then you have to shovel the snow.

Spring...is the time...for major....spring cleaning...so don't go and keep yourself too busy with house chores.
But yeah, you're right...when the house looks good...it does feel good, too.
Your parents sound a lot like mine :) Im so sorry your mom had alzhemiers ..thats such an awful disease.. im glad she didnt lose her self in the end though, thats a blessing!
Thank you Tbtra. You're right..it was a blessing...that her alzheimers didn't progress too fast.
I love your thoughts on your sister too hahah siblings are great...well most of the time! Id'e be lost without my sister, even though it's not peaches and cream all the time, we are always there for good and bad times! The best thing is we know our siblings since day one and have so many memories in common.. and thats even so much more important after losing my parents. She's the only one that remembers the things i do now that they are both gone..so im glad we both have sisters .. though there have been times i wasnt so glad hahahahah
Hahaha...You're right..."siblings are great...well most of the time!" :crackup::lol:
See, ...I never thought about 'knowing our siblings since day one'...and having so many memories in common..and how important that can be.:agree:
Now I have to be try to be nicer to my sister...even when she may irritate me. :blush:
Not sure about your sister, but mine does not let me talk...unless it's a commercial...when she is watching a favorite tv program.
I guess she de-stresses while watching tv...so I can understand that...but I am sometimes banned from talking...even when she's watching a dvd. :gaah::dunno: :lol: You're right, though, Tbtra,..siblings are good to have around...but some days...my animals are way more relaxing...and don't annoy me to the same degree. :rolleyes2:
Thank you again for your kind words of encouragement and inspiration! I'm glad i have given you some also :) Amazing how we all need each other and really can help each other!! Thanks you Catnap!!! I really appreciate your help:rbheart:
Yes, it is amazing how we help each other out...just by exchanging some ideas.
Motivating, encouraging and supporting...is making me want to do a bit more, each day, too.
Thank you too, Tbtra. :thumbsup:
And a big thanks for the photos you posted. They just make me smile. :)
 

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hahah Yes, he did have big paws! That's one of the reasons i was excited to see what they woudl look like as big boys! They are 1/2 Maine Coon and half short hair domestic so he really was probably going to be a big boy!! You know what's funny.. well not funny but strange? I've just gone through a bunch of pictures of the boys.. A lot of the pictures where Butter and Scotch are sleeping together, Scotch always slept on Butter and held, hugged him... And when I found Butter .. Scotchie was on him the same way but wide awake but holding on to him.. I wonder if Scotch knew all along some thing was wrong with Bubbies? I've attached a couple more pictures! You know I love to post pics of them :redheartpump: :)
I think you may be right. Maybe Scotch did know that something was wrong with Butter.
They do say animals can sense, smell, and just pick up, ...on things that we humans cannot.
So yes, maybe he knew all along...and that's why you have Scotch hugging him more.
Just found this gem :redheartpump: Butter was such a confident handsome little guy!!! I sure miss this face!!!
1611789406369.png
All your photos are so expressive. :biggrin:
The one above, ...with Butter with his arm on the windowsill....is truly handsome. :)

He reminds me of a cool cat, just hanging out. :cool2:
It reminds me of another photo, I saw years ago...which was either a commercial...or meme...where the tabby cat looks so cool...and sophisticated at the same time.
Your boy looks so relaxed and gorgeous. :cloud9: :lovecat2:
 
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tbtra

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I think you may be right. Maybe Scotch did know that something was wrong with Butter.
They do say animals can sense, smell, and just pick up, ...on things that we humans cannot.
So yes, maybe he knew all along...and that's why you have Scotch hugging him more.

All your photos are so expressive. :biggrin:
The one above, ...with Butter with his arm on the windowsill....is truly handsome. :)

He reminds me of a cool cat, just hanging out. :cool2:
It reminds me of another photo, I saw years ago...which was either a commercial...or meme...where the tabby cat looks so cool...and sophisticated at the same time.
Your boy looks so relaxed and gorgeous. :cloud9: :lovecat2:
Good morning! I def think Scotchie new something was up with Butter. When i went through all those photos I realized just how much he held him like that.. my poor Butter ..

I love this photo of him too! He looks like such a cool little dude! And thank you, he really was so handsome! He had the cutest little face and I loved how light he was.. use to call him my white tiger ..though he wasnt totally white, he was so light and I never saw a tabby like him~! Woke up blue again this morning... tired and blue.. crazy how sadness just makes you so tired. Feeling a bit better now...

You are right again about the spring cleaning LOL don't know who I'm kidding any how, i wont be doing a huge cleaning this weekend, as you said, it's winter and time to hibernate and be a couch potato and that sounds a heck of a lot better then cleaning! It's supposed to be extremely freezing here this weekend so the couch a blanket and some movies sounds like a much better way to keep my mind busy! :)

And hahah have to also agree with you, sometimes my fur babies are much easier to hang with then my sister! :lol: She's the older one so she's the bossy one haha we have lots of laughs together too though ... and i never thought about memories we shared in common either until we lost both of our parents.. Now it's just the two of us that have all the memories of growing up, the good and the bad and all the in betweens! :)

Hope to find out about a new kitten soon so hopefully that will help Scotchie (and me) and hopefully it doesn't turn into another struggle LOL I'm to tired for any more struggles right now! I'll keep everyone posted!! :lovecat2: Have a nice day Catnap!!

(picture of the boys on the way to the vet LOL Butter never cared but Scotch wasnt to happy to go!! - love these guys!!)
 

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I love this photo of him too! He looks like such a cool little dude! And thank you, he really was so handsome! He had the cutest little face and I loved how light he was.. use to call him my white tiger ..though he wasnt totally white, he was so light and I never saw a tabby like him~! Woke up blue again this morning... tired and blue.. crazy how sadness just makes you so tired. Feeling a bit better now...
I don't think I've ever seen a light tabby like him either. He does look so light at times...yup...like a white tiger. I can see that. :kitty:
"Woke up blue again this morning... tired and blue.. crazy how sadness just makes you so tired. Feeling a bit better now..."
I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. :hugs: :grouphug: :rbheart:

It must be that our bodies just need some extra time,...to recover from all those emotions, too.
I think emotions are more draining, ...than actual physical exercise can be.

At least with a bit of physical exercise, light stretching, yoga, pilates, exercise bike, household chores,...you actually feel the effects in your muscles...but with our emotions...especially when sad...it seems to take you by surprise...and yeah...totally tired feeling. :hmmm:
I hate waking up tired...but it does feel good to start moving around...and when that feeling passes.
(Some days,...just feels like a car...that won't get into first gear,...only stays in neutral...or spins its tires...and goes nowhere.):ohwell:

I think because we are getting older, ...we actually feel the fatigue more, ...the weather changes, sitting in one spot for too long, etc.
Even if they told us that when we got older...we would feel it more...I doubt we'd ever listen...and thought it was all exaggeration.

Just remember to be very kind to yourself...especially when feeling so tired. :alright:
Remember to get plenty of rest, eat well,...do some relaxation or simple stretches on alternate days...and even just sitting in a sunny spot for a few minutes...might make you feel a bit better. :)
Find something you enjoy doing. :catrub:Or just sitting around with Scotch.
(I like doing jigsaw puzzles...but it takes me forever...a bit at a time.)
You are right again about the spring cleaning LOL don't know who I'm kidding any how, i wont be doing a huge cleaning this weekend, as you said, it's winter and time to hibernate and be a couch potato and that sounds a heck of a lot better then cleaning! It's supposed to be extremely freezing here this weekend so the couch a blanket and some movies sounds like a much better way to keep my mind busy! :)
Haha, yes. I think that it's going to be extremely cold here, too.
Yup, I like that plan of yours. :thumbsup:
(If you like comedies...than I suggest watching a Disney movie, called "Godmothered" with Jillian Bell,...it's cute and funny.
Does have one cat in it...where The fairy godmother...turns the cat into a horse.)
And hahah have to also agree with you, sometimes my fur babies are much easier to hang with then my sister! :lol: She's the older one so she's the bossy one haha we have lots of laughs together too though ... and i never thought about memories we shared in common either until we lost both of our parents.. Now it's just the two of us that have all the memories of growing up, the good and the bad and all the in betweens! :)
Lol. ...sounds about right...as far as sisters act. :blush:
So you're the younger one...haha....and you call the older one... "bossy", too. :crackup:
Well, I guess that might be...an older sister character trait,...the 'being bossy' part.
(I never took a survey...but I would bet money...that it is.)

It's not like we older sisters...go to some special school...to learn how to be bossy. We just are. :dunno: :paperbag:
I hope your older sister does not have to deal with the younger sister character trait....of just 'half-listening...and then walking away'...or 'finding something to fight about'...out of the blue...so the older sister has to walk around on eggshells...when the younger is in a bad mood. :confused: :paranoid: :wink:
(I think it's probably 'all payback',...for all the 'bossiness'...we older ones did while younger, too.)

It's nice when you can laugh together, and share good memories. :)
Not sure, ...about sharing those bad ones...or the in betweens (that's a nice phrase)...since we never seem to agree ...on how everything went down.
It's like everyone's perception, and viewpoint...is so different...which is good...but sometimes aggravating, too.
(Ah well, we just learn to... 'agree to disagree'...I guess.) :agreedisagree:
Hope to find out about a new kitten soon so hopefully that will help Scotchie (and me) and hopefully it doesn't turn into another struggle LOL I'm to tired for any more struggles right now! I'll keep everyone posted!! :lovecat2: Have a nice day Catnap!!

(picture of the boys on the way to the vet LOL Butter never cared but Scotch wasnt to happy to go!! - love these guys!!)
1611870374999.png
I hear you on the not wanting any more struggles..part...and I second that, too. :thumbsup:
No one needs more struggles...right now....sooo tiring.
You have a nice day, too, Tbtra! :)

(Ps.....love that photo...of the boys on the way to the vet.
Lol. Scotch has the exact same expression...that I have...when I have to go to the human doctor...or even eye optometrist,...too. :lol:
That look is priceless. I wish I had more of Butter's attitude...of not caring about it.)
 
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I don't think I've ever seen a light tabby like him either. He does look so light at times...yup...like a white tiger. I can see that. :kitty:
"Woke up blue again this morning... tired and blue.. crazy how sadness just makes you so tired. Feeling a bit better now..."
I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. :hugs: :grouphug: :rbheart:

It must be that our bodies just need some extra time,...to recover from all those emotions, too.
I think emotions are more draining, ...than actual physical exercise can be.

At least with a bit of physical exercise, light stretching, yoga, pilates, exercise bike, household chores,...you actually feel the effects in your muscles...but with our emotions...especially when sad...it seems to take you by surprise...and yeah...totally tired feeling. :hmmm:
I hate waking up tired...but it does feel good to start moving around...and when that feeling passes.
(Some days,...just feels like a car...that won't get into first gear,...only stays in neutral...or spins its tires...and goes nowhere.):ohwell:

I think because we are getting older, ...we actually feel the fatigue more, ...the weather changes, sitting in one spot for too long, etc.
Even if they told us that when we got older...we would feel it more...I doubt we'd ever listen...and thought it was all exaggeration.

Just remember to be very kind to yourself...especially when feeling so tired. :alright:
Remember to get plenty of rest, eat well,...do some relaxation or simple stretches on alternate days...and even just sitting in a sunny spot for a few minutes...might make you feel a bit better. :)
Find something you enjoy doing. :catrub:Or just sitting around with Scotch.
(I like doing jigsaw puzzles...but it takes me forever...a bit at a time.)

Haha, yes. I think that it's going to be extremely cold here, too.
Yup, I like that plan of yours. :thumbsup:
(If you like comedies...than I suggest watching a Disney movie, called "Godmothered" with Jillian Bell,...it's cute and funny.
Does have one cat in it...where The fairy godmother...turns the cat into a horse.)

Lol. ...sounds about right...as far as sisters act. :blush:
So you're the younger one...haha....and you call the older one... "bossy", too. :crackup:
Well, I guess that might be...an older sister character trait,...the 'being bossy' part.
(I never took a survey...but I would bet money...that it is.)

It's not like we older sisters...go to some special school...to learn how to be bossy. We just are. :dunno: :paperbag:
I hope your older sister does not have to deal with the younger sister character trait....of just 'half-listening...and then walking away'...or 'finding something to fight about'...out of the blue...so the older sister has to walk around on eggshells...when the younger is in a bad mood. :confused: :paranoid: :wink:
(I think it's probably 'all payback',...for all the 'bossiness'...we older ones did while younger, too.)

It's nice when you can laugh together, and share good memories. :)
Not sure, ...about sharing those bad ones...or the in betweens (that's a nice phrase)...since we never seem to agree ...on how everything went down.
It's like everyone's perception, and viewpoint...is so different...which is good...but sometimes aggravating, too.
(Ah well, we just learn to... 'agree to disagree'...I guess.) :agreedisagree:

I hear you on the not wanting any more struggles..part...and I second that, too. :thumbsup:
No one needs more struggles...right now....sooo tiring.
You have a nice day, too, Tbtra! :)

(Ps.....love that photo...of the boys on the way to the vet.
Lol. Scotch has the exact same expression...that I have...when I have to go to the human doctor...or even eye optometrist,...too. :lol:
That look is priceless. I wish I had more of Butter's attitude...of not caring about it.)
Good morning Catnap!! Happy Friday! It's extremely cold here today and all weekend, so a perfect weekend to stay in!! I will def check out that movie this weekend, its sounds adorable! I love a good movie to lose myself in.. specially these days. I read your post earlier this morning and i followed your advice and did some light yoga and stretching :) it felt good to do that as I havent done any of my exercises since Butters been gone and thats almost a month now.. so my body feels a little lighter and less tighter now..hopefully it will translate into my mind too as that's the thing that keeps getting me down... I find myself playing over and over finding Butter unresponsive.. and I realize that's not healthy to continue to do that to myself.. I was with both of my parents when they passed away and I was so grateful to be with them, but i didn't really allow myself to keep thinking of that sad moment when they went on from this life.. but i seem to do it a lot with Butter and the memory stabs me in the heart.. and makes me take two steps backwards in my healing.. Maybe i just need to try and change that image when it pops in my mind.. but im not really sure how to do that ... I really feel that boys loss so deeply.. I think it's as we said before, maybe due to all the loss i've had, makes Butters just seem so much more painful.. .. :sigh:
You did make me laugh though this morning too.. talking about your sister, us little sisters. haha I guess i can act like that also! Maybe a little brattish at times, if I'm not getting my point across or my sisters not agreeing with me LOL It is funny that most older sisters are the bossy ones, but we probably needed to be bossed around to keep us in line! I drove my sister crazy borrowing cloths and not returning them when i was a kid! To this day she always lectures me about returning something if i borrow it from her!! Funny how we grow older but really are still the kids we were when we were young, specially with our siblings! Is it just the two of you? It is with me and mine, which is probably enough siblings as i cant imagine having more personalities to add to the mix! haha

I love how what you said about our bodies and how we feel things so much more now that we are getting older. And i laughed when you said if any one told us this would happen, we wouldnt believe them! That's just so true.. From the weather changes, to the body aching from just sitting in one place! To the overwhelming tiredness from grief! So age sure doesn't help this pain I feel.. but I will be a it more gentle with myself, I will get a little more sleep (i went to bed early all week and i think i really needed that) and I'll start my yoga again like i did this morning and just try and relax this weekend, curled up with Scotchie and watching some uplifting movies :rbheart: Thank you for all your wonderful words of advice and your caring. I' still talk about Butter, cry about Butter a bit with my family, but they all just want me to be "happy" again.. I am still happy about my life,.. but it helps me to talk about my boy and my loss and my pain and i think sometimes it's to much for my family so it feels good to be able to talk here and admit that I really am still hurting and I really miss that boy.. I know i keep saying it, but i really do appreciate the help and the words of wisdom .. i think about things that are written here and it helps me to feel better or it helps me to just let it all out and then feel a bit better. But it really has helped me to be able to keep talking about Butter and my grief.. :redheartpump::redheartpump:

Oh and on the comment about the boys picture, yes, Scotchie has the fear of god in his eyes hahahah like how i feel to going to the docs! And I think that's one of the things i loved most about Butter, his attitude about notthing really bothering him.. weather it was the going to the vet, driving in the car, loud noises, the grandkids holding him constantly.. he was so chill he would just sit with that silly look on his face like he was just happy to be here!! I would love to have his attitude too!!! He was sure was a special boy!
I hope you have a nice weekend! Snuggled in with your fur babies too!! :lovecat2: Stay warm and hope it's a nice long relaxing weekend! :heartshape::lovecat2::lovecat2::wave3:
 

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Good morning Catnap!! Happy Friday! It's extremely cold here today and all weekend, so a perfect weekend to stay in!! I will def check out that movie this weekend, its sounds adorable! I love a good movie to lose myself in.. specially these days. I read your post earlier this morning and i followed your advice and did some light yoga and stretching :) it felt good to do that as I havent done any of my exercises since Butters been gone and thats almost a month now.. so my body feels a little lighter and less tighter now..hopefully it will translate into my mind too as that's the thing that keeps getting me down..
Happy Friday...I love that. :cloud9:
I take it that you are a 'morning person'....I am so not a morning person. I wish I was.
Morning people...seem to get a lot done in one day. For instance, you doing some light yoga and stretching...and getting your body to feel less tight...sounds awesome. :thumbsup:

(When I posted that advice...I went online...and did find some pilates videos on youtube...and then I watched them, bookmarked them...and thought...okay, looks good...will have to try it. Today...nothing...in the exercise department. :disappointed:
I did do some simple stretches...which I always do for my upper back...but mostly because I tend to slouch a lot, while sitting.
So I guess...that's a start...but I really have to get into a Routine. yikes.) :lol:
I find myself playing over and over finding Butter unresponsive.. and I realize that's not healthy to continue to do that to myself.. I was with both of my parents when they passed away and I was so grateful to be with them, but i didn't really allow myself to keep thinking of that sad moment when they went on from this life.. but i seem to do it a lot with Butter and the memory stabs me in the heart.. and makes me take two steps backwards in my healing.. Maybe i just need to try and change that image when it pops in my mind.. but im not really sure how to do that ... I really feel that boys loss so deeply.. I think it's as we said before, maybe due to all the loss i've had, makes Butters just seem so much more painful.. .. :sigh:
I really wish I knew the answer to this. 💔
I'm not sure why our minds like to throw in scenes of our animals' last moments.
Is it because ...it was their last moments...and we somehow want to hold on to every moment we had with them...even if it were such a painful one? (Though that does not seem helpful at all.)
Or Is it because we felt helpless, ...in doing anything for them...so we painfully relive these last moments. :rbheart:
Or is it...our brain's way...of sorting out our thoughts...and by just having it pop up...or be triggered by a memory...does it eventually make it less painful.
With the passage of time...it does seem to be less intense...but still always sad.
I really don't know. And I wish I knew how to stop it, or change it.

Maybe, Tbtra,...because it's still so recent for you...so with time...it will get better. :hugs:
I think it would be good if you could re-focus your thoughts on something else...but I'm not really sure how you do that. :alright:

(It's almost like our cats' stories...are contained within a book...with many, many chapters. :read:
And their death is only a small part of that book...maybe even a few paragraphs...or one chapter.
The ending of the book...is not even their death...but more chapters about their Legacy.
But for whatever reason,...our minds want to focus on the chapter of their death...or perhaps...our minds need to for a little while...until we move on ...and focus on their legacy.)

I don't know....since with Grief...we all move in different speeds...and go back and forwards, too.
I think I read somewhere, ...that you cannot skip over it...but have to go through it.

I wish I knew a way, to stop the painful images, though,...from just popping up whenever.
Working through Grief is hard. :hugs: :grouphug: :rbheart:
You did make me laugh though this morning too.. talking about your sister, us little sisters. haha I guess i can act like that also! Maybe a little brattish at times, if I'm not getting my point across or my sisters not agreeing with me LOL It is funny that most older sisters are the bossy ones, but we probably needed to be bossed around to keep us in line! I drove my sister crazy borrowing cloths and not returning them when i was a kid! To this day she always lectures me about returning something if i borrow it from her!! Funny how we grow older but really are still the kids we were when we were young, specially with our siblings! Is it just the two of you? It is with me and mine, which is probably enough siblings as i cant imagine having more personalities to add to the mix! haha
Your sister still lectures you to this day...about borrowing stuff...and returning it on time. hahaha. :nono: :lol: :wink:
Now I don't feel so bad...about asking my sister to do things. :jive:

I "ask her"...I don't 'boss her'...but she says ...that it "sounds the same to her". :doh:
Omg...you're right...we do still act like little kids...with our siblings. :crackup:
(I actually have an older half-sister, too, since my dad was married and divorced before. But she is 9 years older than me...and we don't really have that much in common.)

"....which is probably enough siblings as i cant imagine having more personalities to add to the mix! haha"
That is so funny that you said that...because it probably is so true...but when I was younger...I'd love to watch shows like 'The Brady Bunch', 'Eight is Enough'...and 'The Waltons' (reruns)....hahaha....I used to think that it would be so cool...to have some more sisters and brothers...around.
But now that you said that about, "having more personalities to add to the mix!"....then I better re-think that whole idea...now. :spew::idea:
I love how what you said about our bodies and how we feel things so much more now that we are getting older. And i laughed when you said if any one told us this would happen, we wouldnt believe them! That's just so true.. From the weather changes, to the body aching from just sitting in one place! To the overwhelming tiredness from grief! So age sure doesn't help this pain I feel.. but I will be a it more gentle with myself, I will get a little more sleep (i went to bed early all week and i think i really needed that) and I'll start my yoga again like i did this morning and just try and relax this weekend, curled up with Scotchie and watching some uplifting movies :rbheart: Thank you for all your wonderful words of advice and your caring.
You are very welcome, Tbtra. :)
I love the way you dive right in...and go and do that yoga...and make sure to go to bed early.
I'm more of the..."okay, I'll think about it"....and not much of a "take action"....kind of person.
I have to become more like you...and just ''do" ...the yoga, or keep a schedule,...but I find it so hard...but I'll try. :greenpaw:
I' still talk about Butter, cry about Butter a bit with my family, but they all just want me to be "happy" again.. I am still happy about my life,.. but it helps me to talk about my boy and my loss and my pain and i think sometimes it's to much for my family so it feels good to be able to talk here and admit that I really am still hurting and I really miss that boy.. I know i keep saying it, but i really do appreciate the help and the words of wisdom .. i think about things that are written here and it helps me to feel better or it helps me to just let it all out and then feel a bit better. But it really has helped me to be able to keep talking about Butter and my grief.. :redheartpump::redheartpump:
I'm glad...that by talking about Butter,...or posting photos... you can release more of that sorrow and pain...that comes with Grief. :rbheart:
Letting it all out is a good thing to do.
Writing down your pain...seems to contain it to the page...so you can let it go.
Once written...you don't have to think about it too much. :hugs:

It's true, that our families can listen to us...but they do want us to be 'happy' fast...again. And they sometimes don't know what to say...or are experiencing the loss in different ways...so again... they don't know what to say.
I also found it easier to talk with the members, online, here on the Cat Site, when I had lost my younger cat, too.
Sometimes, they just helped me, and didn't know they did,...just by talking about their own cats.
(Plus, I played a lot of games and such, in the 'Cat Lounge' area...which was quite fun, too.)

I'm glad we can help each other out.
My 'words of wisdom'...are just things I remember going through, with my own cats, at the time....and other things that people have said to me, and which helped me. (I wouldn't really call them 'words of wisdom'...but okay...I guess they are.)
You're making me smile and blush. :blush:
I kind of just pass along... the information that I've learned, been told, or read about. :bluepaw:
Oh and on the comment about the boys picture, yes, Scotchie has the fear of god in his eyes hahahah like how i feel to going to the docs! And I think that's one of the things i loved most about Butter, his attitude about notthing really bothering him.. weather it was the going to the vet, driving in the car, loud noises, the grandkids holding him constantly.. he was so chill he would just sit with that silly look on his face like he was just happy to be here!! I would love to have his attitude too!!! He was sure was a special boy!
I hope you have a nice weekend! Snuggled in with your fur babies too!! :lovecat2: Stay warm and hope it's a nice long relaxing weekend! :heartshape::lovecat2::lovecat2: :wave3:
Haha. I'm not sure if Scotchie has that exact look. :lol:
I think it's more like he's deep in thought...thinking..."why do we have to go to the Vets again? All we get is shots/needles."...or .."an apple a day, keeps the doctor away,...but what ...exactly keeps the Vet away?"
Okay...he does kind of have that 'fear of god' look...yeah...I could see that now. More worried, but yeah...I see it, now.

The 'grandkids holding Butter constantly'...sounds sweet and hilarious.
I wonder what Scotch was thinking about, there, too. Hopefully, Scotch did not have that same look in his eyes..as when he had to go to the vet. :blush: :headshake: :running:

I hope you have a good weekend, too, Tbtra. :wave2:
Also, snuggled in and warm with Scotch. :catrub:
 
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tbtra

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hello friends 😊 wanted to update with a little happiness to my story zzz We recently got this little boy, little Pumpkin 🎃 🐱😍 was very nervous about how Scotch would react! But so far so really good ❤ I’ll post in another forum later about how their introduction was etc keep you all posted! #feelinghappy Tnx all ❤
 

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It is always a good thing to give another cat a chance at the good life. Thank you for saving another little fur ball. Scotch will love his new furry friend.
 

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hello friends 😊 wanted to update with a little happiness to my story zzz We recently got this little boy, little Pumpkin 🎃 🐱😍 was very nervous about how Scotch would react! But so far so really good ❤ I’ll post in another forum later about how their introduction was etc keep you all posted! #feelinghappy Tnx all ❤
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Absolutely wonderful !! He looks so adorable. Cuteness overload. haha. :blush: :cloud9: :loveeyes:
Like a little Pumpkin spiced latte. :drinking:

I love his huge ears...and those white eye whiskers, too. :lovecat2:
Butter will be looking down and smiling, purring,...and of course loving you through Scotch,...as Antonio said,...but also sending his love through this new fur ball, too. :) :heartshape::rbheart:
It is always a good thing to give another cat a chance at the good life. Thank you for saving another little fur ball. Scotch will love his new furry friend.
:yeah: :cloud9: :touched:
 

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Oh my I found your thread, and I can feel right along with you.
We lost my dog and best friend Princess when I was 9 years old. We only had her for 2 years, and had to move to a different state and my parents could only find a house with no fence. One day she slipped out of her collar and ate something someone had put out to kill mice. She only lasted a couple of days at the vet hospital. This was in the 1960's. I was so heartbroken and still miss her.
Then in about 1967 we got a kitten, Samantha, and in those days most everyone had indoor/outdoor cats, and when she was 6 months old we had just started letting her out, she followed my brother to school and we never saw her again. Another devastation, she was my best cat friend. Still miss her too.
The hurt decreases but the missing doesn't. I feel so much for you.

And now you have Pumpkin! What a great thing. That face is something else. Scotch will take good care of him :catlove:.
 
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Absolutely wonderful !! He looks so adorable. Cuteness overload. haha. :blush: :cloud9: :loveeyes:
Like a little Pumpkin spiced latte. :drinking:

I love his huge ears...and those white eye whiskers, too. :lovecat2:
Butter will be looking down and smiling, purring,...and of course loving you through Scotch,...as Antonio said,...but also sending his love through this new fur ball, too. :) :heartshape::rbheart:

:yeah: :cloud9: :touched:
Isn’t he adorable Catnap :) I think Butter will be happy too ❤He knows how bad we have been hurting..and still hurt ..but seeing tiny little Pumpkin “hop” around the house makes me laugh and Scotch seems quite taken with his new little baby and that does my heart good too xxx really shows what a good boy Scotchie is as he’s so gentle and kind, even when the kitten is jumping all over him! 🐱🐱 so lucky it’s been so easy ❤ so fast! 😊
 

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It is always a good thing to give another cat a chance at the good life. Thank you for saving another little fur ball. Scotch will love his new furry friend.
Thank you John, he already seems to love his new little friend 😊 and it sure does my heart good to see two little cats running around again, my heart still aches for my butter, but this little guy sure helps to bring some joy 🐱🐱
 
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Oh my I found your thread, and I can feel right along with you.
We lost my dog and best friend Princess when I was 9 years old. We only had her for 2 years, and had to move to a different state and my parents could only find a house with no fence. One day she slipped out of her collar and ate something someone had put out to kill mice. She only lasted a couple of days at the vet hospital. This was in the 1960's. I was so heartbroken and still miss her.
Then in about 1967 we got a kitten, Samantha, and in those days most everyone had indoor/outdoor cats, and when she was 6 months old we had just started letting her out, she followed my brother to school and we never saw her again. Another devastation, she was my best cat friend. Still miss her too.
The hurt decreases but the missing doesn't. I feel so much for you.

And now you have Pumpkin! What a great thing. That face is something else. Scotch will take good care of him :catlove:.
Thank you for sharing all your stories about your wonderful animals. I agree with you, I don’t think we ever stop missing them, maybe the pain just fades a little... I hope you have a new for baby now to share your days with, I know losing my babies have brought me so much pain… But having these babies in my life, they Joy will always outweigh the pain.
Thank you for your kind words ❤
 

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Isn’t he adorable Catnap :) I think Butter will be happy too ❤He knows how bad we have been hurting..and still hurt ..but seeing tiny little Pumpkin “hop” around the house makes me laugh and Scotch seems quite taken with his new little baby and that does my heart good too xxx really shows what a good boy Scotchie is as he’s so gentle and kind, even when the kitten is jumping all over him! 🐱🐱 so lucky it’s been so easy ❤ so fast! 😊
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Oh my goodness, Tbtra...adorable is so right!! :loveeyes: :lol: :crackup:
Your Pumpkin and Scotch photos...really brightened up my day, today. :blush: :thumbsup:

It's so cold here, outside, southern ontario, canada, (-4*C or -24F...with windchill it feels like -12*C or -10F)...so looking at your awesome, cute, sunny photos,...really made me feel warmer. They kind of warm the heart from the inside...and cause uncontrollable smiling, and laughing, too. :lol:
Especially when I noticed how little Pumpkin placed his paw...over Scotch's face and ear. haha. :crackup:
That second photo is just so relaxing and warm. :cloud9:
It's like they've been 'best buds' for like forever.:salam:
Your Scotchie really is so gentle and kind, to let a little 'hopping' kitten jump all over him. That shows a lot of patience too. :caticon: :gingercat:
Thanks for sharing these moments of Joy, with us all.
It makes me smile, and appreciate how wonderful our cats truly are.:) :clover:
 

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Isn’t he adorable Catnap :) I think Butter will be happy too ❤He knows how bad we have been hurting..and still hurt ..but seeing tiny little Pumpkin “hop” around the house makes me laugh and Scotch seems quite taken with his new little baby and that does my heart good too xxx really shows what a good boy Scotchie is as he’s so gentle and kind, even when the kitten is jumping all over him! 🐱🐱 so lucky it’s been so easy ❤ so fast! 😊
Oh look at those pictures!!! So heartwarming. Butter above I'm sure is happy you have some smiles and laughs and another little one to love in person (in fur-son?) They are the best. I'm so happy you have this new one.
 
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Oh my goodness, Tbtra...adorable is so right!! :loveeyes: :lol: :crackup:
Your Pumpkin and Scotch photos...really brightened up my day, today. :blush: :thumbsup:

It's so cold here, outside, southern ontario, canada, (-4*C or -24F...with windchill it feels like -12*C or -10F)...so looking at your awesome, cute, sunny photos,...really made me feel warmer. They kind of warm the heart from the inside...and cause uncontrollable smiling, and laughing, too. :lol:
Especially when I noticed how little Pumpkin placed his paw...over Scotch's face and ear. haha. :crackup:
That second photo is just so relaxing and warm. :cloud9:
It's like they've been 'best buds' for like forever.:salam:
Your Scotchie really is so gentle and kind, to let a little 'hopping' kitten jump all over him. That shows a lot of patience too. :caticon: :gingercat:
Thanks for sharing these moments of Joy, with us all.
It makes me smile, and appreciate how wonderful our cats truly are.:) :clover:
I'm so glad their pictures could brighten your day and warm you up! It's so cold there! I thought it was cold here (Massachusetts) we had a big snow storm Monday night into Tuesday so it's not extremely cold any longer but we are full of snow lol
We really are so lucky Scotchie is such a good boy!! He really has taken this kitten in as his own and the little boy just follows Scotch everywhere, its quite adorable!! :loveeyes: They already cuddle when sleeping!! And the little guy is a pure snuggle boy!! He will climb right on you and fall asleep on your chest, or neck or lap haha where ever he can find! so it's done my heart good..My heart still aches for my Butter but I don't think that will ever change!!
You are soo right, our cats really our truly wonderful little characters and we sure are lucky to have them, for as long as we get too!! Stay warm my friend! :hugs::blush:
 
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Oh look at those pictures!!! So heartwarming. Butter above I'm sure is happy you have some smiles and laughs and another little one to love in person (in fur-son?) They are the best. I'm so happy you have this new one.
Thank you Pearl99! They are so heartwarming together! I'm sure Butter is happy we aren't so sad and lonely now and have a little guy to love 'in fur'son' I loved that! haha Thank you for your wonderful comments Pearl! :wave3:
 
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