How to stop a cat from kneading?

[dogperson2cats]

Oh no! Oh dear, what a situation.

Yeah tell me about it!

Also he is the only cat I know who needs one of those super strong dog toys cause he totals all the others within a day or less because he's so rough with them. (Gave him a squeaky just to see and he tore it to shreds within 20 minutes...)

 

[DreamerRose]

My cats like to knead on soft surfaces, like a velour blanket I have. Can you get an inexpensive one in velvet or velour and try to train him on that? It might work.

 

[dogperson2cats]

My cats like to knead on soft surfaces, like a velour blanket I have. Can you get an inexpensive one in velvet or velour and try to train him on that? It might work.

She taught him that touching fabric is bad. Like we had to get him a cardboard scratching post because he was scared to touch the carpeted ones.

 

[M_Intentions]

I was torn between 'cat health' and 'cat behavior' so if this isn't right, forgive me.

Ok so my mom HATES when her cat kneads her. With a fiery passion. We're talking screaming obscenities at him for doing it, refusing to give him any attention, ect. (For some unknown reason, said cat is obsessed with her and is never more than 2 feet away.)

Very sad your mother gets so angry about this. I’m actually allergic to my boy Link but even I find his kneading freaking adorable. Maybe it’s because I have a high pain tolerance and he’s doing it out of affection not to hurt anyone.

Maybe you could convince your mom to try an alternative method before she takes such drastic measures? I’ve not had a cat in a very long time but I’m sure you can ask others or find some good ways to train cats. I’m not sure how recommended a spray bottle is but you could look into it, perhaps instead of screeching your mother could pick him up and sternly say “NO” (not yell, stern) and put him down. Obviously screaming and ignoring him doesn’t work. Or maybe have him sit on a pillow or thicker blanket so when he kneads his nails cannot reach her. Cutting the nails would help too.

I’d send her some links about how dangerous and painful it is to dewclaw a cat, and that it also involves cutting away pieces of their actual knuckle. Perhaps try to convince her about nail guards? I’m not sure how recommended those are either and they might not be good for an outside cat but nail guards are an interesting idea to stop clawing in a non-painful (at leash I think) way. They do pop off after awhile so they’ll need to be replaced with new ones unless your lucky enough to find the old ones (if he’s outside I doubt it). Hope I might’ve gave you some ideas. I’m sure another more experienced person can give you some more tips.

 

[Caspers Human]

I am pretty sure being yelled at, pushed away, sprayed and getting stuck to things makes it clear though.

Sorry...but no. Those things do not make it clear to a cat. It often only makes things worse.

Those things work on dogs, more easily, because dogs see humans differently.
Dogs look upon humans as leader and master. They compartmentalize humans. Cats don't.
It has to do with the way dogs' brains are wired, compared to cats.

Dogs have many more mirroring neurons in their brains. That is, nerve cells in a certain part of their brains that allow them to recognize facial expressions and gestures and respond to them. Cats don't have as many mirroring neurons. The structure of their facial muscles and the nerves that control them are different, too.

Have you ever noticed that a dog gets a sullen expression on its face when you scold it? That is because dogs can recognize YOUR facial expression and tone of voice and they have learned to respond to those cues. Cats don't have the wiring in their brains to do that.

Here's an experiment to try. Look your dog in the face and say, "BAD DOG!" but say it in the tone of voice that you would say, "Good dog!" Now, turn it around and say it the opposite way... "Good dog!" but use a stern voice.

How does the dog respond?

Next, do the exact same experiment on your dog. Say, "Good Kitty!" but sternly then say, "Bad Kitty!" in a sweet tone of voice.

The cat will probably look at you as if to say, "What the...?"

So, when you scold a cat the same way you would scold a dog, you are just confusing it.

Yelling at a cat should be reserved only for times when there is danger. Like, if it's about to jump up onto the kitchen stove where it might get burned. Or, if the cat is fighting. Even then, it's a last resort.

Squirt guns don't really work, either. They only teach a cat to obey when the human isn't hanging around with a squirt gun. When you aren't around, they'll go right back to doing what they were doing, before.

I have only ever seen squirt guns work one time.

Decades ago, I had a cat, named "Jerry," that started peeing in the potted plants. I tried everything to break him of the habit. I put rocks in the pot. I used chicken wire. He just peed through the wire.

The one and only time I ever saw squirt guns work on a cat is when I caught Jerry IN THE ACT of peeing in the plant and I picked up a Super Soaker water gun and gave him a shot from a fully charged water gun at point-blank range. It only worked because I caught the cat in the act and reacted within a second or two.

My story is an exceptional one. I have never seen squirting a cat to make it behave work, beside that one time.

If you want to change a cat's behavior, you have to use Operant Conditioning. You have to figure out what motivates a cat to do a thing. You have to figure out a strategy. You have to repeat that strategy, several times and you have to positively reinforce the cat when it behaves the way you want.

You don't "make" a cat behave. You convince the cat that your way is better.

If yelling at cats worked, you wouldn't be here, right now, asking these questions. Would you?

You know Albert Einstein's famous saying, don't you?

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

 

[dogperson2cats]

Very sad your mother gets so angry about this. I’m actually allergic to my boy Link but even I find his kneading freaking adorable. Maybe it’s because I have a high pain tolerance and he’s doing it out of affection not to hurt anyone.

Maybe you could convince your mom to try an alternative method before she takes such drastic measures? I’ve not had a cat in a very long time but I’m sure you can ask others or find some good ways to train cats. I’m not sure how recommended a spray bottle is but you could look into it, perhaps instead of screeching your mother could pick him up and sternly say “NO” (not yell, stern) and put him down. Obviously screaming and ignoring him doesn’t work. Or maybe have him sit on a pillow or thicker blanket so when he kneads his nails cannot reach her. Cutting the nails would help too.

I’d send her some links about how dangerous and painful it is to dewclaw a cat, and that it also involves cutting away pieces of their actual knuckle. Perhaps try to convince her about nail guards? I’m not sure how recommended those are either and they might not be good for an outside cat but nail guards are an interesting idea to stop clawing in a non-painful (at leash I think) way. They do pop off after awhile so they’ll need to be replaced with new ones unless your lucky enough to find the old ones (if he’s outside I doubt it). Hope I might’ve gave you some ideas. I’m sure another more experienced person can give you some more tips.

She knows how bad it is and doesn't care. (Honestly if I didn't live here, it wouldn't be on me to handle so maybe I wouldn't either? Like yes it'd be bad and I'd be upset with her but I wouldn't be living with the cat to physically help him? Honestly once I move out, unless grandma dies, I am checking out of this family.)

We've tried redirecting him and he will just worm his way between the barriers and knead my mom.

 

[dogperson2cats]

Sorry...but no. Those things do not make it clear to a cat. It often only makes things worse.

Those things work on dogs, more easily, because dogs see humans differently.
Dogs look upon humans as leader and master. They compartmentalize humans. Cats don't.
It has to do with the way dogs' brains are wired, compared to cats.

Dogs have many more mirroring neurons in their brains. That is, nerve cells in a certain part of their brains that allow them to recognize facial expressions and gestures and respond to them. Cats don't have as many mirroring neurons. The structure of their facial muscles and the nerves that control them are different, too.

Have you ever noticed that a dog gets a sullen expression on its face when you scold it? That is because dogs can recognize YOUR facial expression and tone of voice and they have learned to respond to those cues. Cats don't have the wiring in their brains to do that.

Here's an experiment to try. Look your dog in the face and say, "BAD DOG!" but say it in the tone of voice that you would say, "Good dog!" Now, turn it around and say it the opposite way... "Good dog!" but use a stern voice.

How does the dog respond?

Next, do the exact same experiment on your dog. Say, "Good Kitty!" but sternly then say, "Bad Kitty!" in a sweet tone of voice.

The cat will probably look at you as if to say, "What the...?"

So, when you scold a cat the same way you would scold a dog, you are just confusing it.

Yelling at a cat should be reserved only for times when there is danger. Like, if it's about to jump up onto the kitchen stove where it might get burned. Or, if the cat is fighting. Even then, it's a last resort.

Squirt guns don't really work, either. They only teach a cat to obey when the human isn't hanging around with a squirt gun. When you aren't around, they'll go right back to doing what they were doing, before.

I have only ever seen squirt guns work one time.

Decades ago, I had a cat, named "Jerry," that started peeing in the potted plants. I tried everything to break him of the habit. I put rocks in the pot. I used chicken wire. He just peed through the wire.

The one and only time I ever saw squirt guns work on a cat is when I caught Jerry IN THE ACT of peeing in the plant and I picked up a Super Soaker water gun and gave him a shot from a fully charged water gun at point-blank range. It only worked because I caught the cat in the act and reacted within a second or two.

My story is an exceptional one. I have never seen squirting a cat to make it behave work, beside that one time.

If you want to change a cat's behavior, you have to use Operant Conditioning. You have to figure out what motivates a cat to do a thing. You have to figure out a strategy. You have to repeat that strategy, several times and you have to positively reinforce the cat when it behaves the way you want.

You don't "make" a cat behave. You convince the cat that your way is better.

If yelling at cats worked, you wouldn't be here, right now, asking these questions. Would you?

You know Albert Einstein's famous saying, don't you?

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

I'm sorry all it takes is either of my parents *breathing* too loud and the cats run and hide. When my parents even slightly raise their voices, the cats tuck their tails and make themselves scarce. These cats are terrified of my parents' reactions to their misbehaviour or even slightly annoying. (One big rule in this house is 'Animals should be seen and never heard' so if they even meow, they get scolded and locked outside.) But, they also are super attached to them. (Mostly moms cat as mine is glued to me and my father mostly and only goes to mom and my brother when she's desperate. Moms cat will love you no matter what.)

I cannot wait to own dogs again...I really dislike having to understand cats. I give them food, water and shelter. They can at least be thankful and not cause trouble. If I wanted a lower life-form to be disrespectful to my care, I'd have kids.

 

[klunick]

I'm sorry all it takes is either of my parents *breathing* too loud and the cats run and hide. When my parents even slightly raise their voices, the cats tuck their tails and make themselves scarce. These cats are terrified of my parents' reactions to their misbehaviour or even slightly annoying. (One big rule in this house is 'Animals should be seen and never heard' so if they even meow, they get scolded and locked outside.) But, they also are super attached to them. (Mostly moms cat as mine is glued to me and my father mostly and only goes to mom and my brother when she's desperate. Moms cat will love you no matter what.)

I cannot wait to own dogs again...I really dislike having to understand cats. I give them food, water and shelter. They can at least be thankful and not cause trouble. If I wanted a lower life-form to be disrespectful to my care, I'd have kids.

You and your family seem like people who are miserable in life. Might I suggest counseling both group and one on one. I think your problems are bigger than just a kneading cat. Or this whole thread could be a way to get a rise out of us by repeatedly saying you hate cats and dogs are soooo much better.

 

[dogperson2cats]

You and your family seem like people who are miserable in life. Might I suggest counseling both group and one on one. I think your problems are bigger than just a kneading cat. Or this whole thread could be a way to get a rise out of us by repeatedly saying you hate cats and dogs are soooo much better.

My family doesn't believe in counselling; I've been trying to get therapy for depression since I was 8. (Ironically sparked by mom getting my cat; a 6 month old tabby PTS because it 'didn't like her and wouldn't let my (1yo) brother pull her tail'. She was the first cat I ever bonded with and is the reason I have rescued so many since.)

Yeah; not gonna lie that I much rather dogs over cats since they're easier to get along with. But doesn't mean I am ok with them being abused.

 

[M_Intentions]

She knows how bad it is and doesn't care. (Honestly if I didn't live here, it wouldn't be on me to handle so maybe I wouldn't either? Like yes it'd be bad and I'd be upset with her but I wouldn't be living with the cat to physically help him? Honestly once I move out, unless grandma dies, I am checking out of this family.)

We've tried redirecting him and he will just worm his way between the barriers and knead my mom.

I don’t know how able you are but if you can drive and aren’t moderated a crazy amount you could find the cat a better home. Put him up for at least fifteen dollars and explain he needs an inside home. Don’t lie about any bad traits as people would likely get rid of him if you said he’s perfect and they found bad habits in them. Don’t put your address or a pic of the cat on the site you choose.

It sounds as if your mom is just like my own mom; they don’t give a d*mn about anyone but themselves and will do anything to further themselves. My mother admitted to doing a lot of crazy and maybe even illegal things over the years. One of the worst I found was how she smugly let my bio dad’s cat out if the house because she “couldn’t stand it”. She waited til he was gone and let it go. She easily could’ve taken it to a shelter or a new home but that’s effort and she didn’t want to waste effort on a cat that annoyed her so much. When she realized I was upset she tried to say that the cat probably found a new home but it was likely killed by a predator or car. The only redeeming quality your mother has is that she hasn’t just dropped the cat off somewhere and she’s considering paying for a surgery for the cat - keeping aside the fact that the surgery is so unfathomably cruel. If you can’t convince her then maybe rehoming the cat is the only other option.

 

[klunick]

My family doesn't believe in counselling; I've been trying to get therapy for depression since I was 8. (Ironically sparked by mom getting my cat; a 6 month old tabby PTS because it 'didn't like her and wouldn't let my (1yo) brother pull her tail'. She was the first cat I ever bonded with and is the reason I have rescued so many since.)

Yeah; not gonna lie that I much rather dogs over cats since they're easier to get along with. But doesn't mean I am ok with them being abused.

I understand that. I too would choose a dog over a cat but I live with three cat people so I'm out-voted. But it does help that our kittens love me best so it makes it easier for me to love them back. I pretty much tolerated any other cat we had because I was always the last person they liked even though I was the one who did everything for them.Cats are complicated and do what they want because in their mind, you are their slave. Dogs are less complicated and want to please us. Cats could care less what we want.

As far as the kneading goes, my Boone only kneads when he is suckling an item of clothing like my shirt.I would much rather have the kneading than dealing with a soggy shirt for the next few hours.

 

[dogperson2cats]

I don’t know how able you are but if you can drive and aren’t moderated a crazy amount you could find the cat a better home. Put him up for at least fifteen dollars and explain he needs an inside home. Don’t lie about any bad traits as people would likely get rid of him if you said he’s perfect and they found bad habits in them. Don’t put your address or a pic of the cat on the site you choose.

It sounds as if your mom is just like my own mom; they don’t give a d*mn about anyone but themselves and will do anything to further themselves. My mother admitted to doing a lot of crazy and maybe even illegal things over the years. One of the worst I found was how she smugly let my bio dad’s cat out if the house because she “couldn’t stand it”. She waited til he was gone and let it go. She easily could’ve taken it to a shelter or a new home but that’s effort and she didn’t want to waste effort on a cat that annoyed her so much. When she realized I was upset she tried to say that the cat probably found a new home but it was likely killed by a predator or car. The only redeeming quality your mother has is that she hasn’t just dropped the cat off somewhere and she’s considering paying for a surgery for the cat - keeping aside the fact that the surgery is so unfathomably cruel. If you can’t convince her then maybe rehoming the cat is the only other option.

I can't drive and *everyone* knows this cat/my family. So he'd be returned pronto.

Yeah she'd never drop an animal off. Get them put down and later regret it when she realizes that the issue could be solved, yeah it's happened. But when we get an animal, it's always a rescue of some sort and very rarely do they get rehomed. (And when they do, it's to people we trust and know.) She's more patient with her animals than she is mine but then again, she's had cats that made me wonder if what they say about GSD being unable to be in a household with pets was true. (That they eat other animals.) One cat she had was always puking on my bed. Always. Fleabag didn't like me so I spent all my time hiking with my dogs; a purebred Beagle and PB/Duck dog mix after that. I was 10 so really shouldn't have been out alone but those dogs would protect me always. That cat 'ran away' eventually. (Mom later said that she knew the cat didn't like me but was hoping that like with all animals, it'd warm up to me. It didn't and she gave it to one of her aunts who was visiting from across the country. Cat lived to be 20.)

I've had some problematic kitties, too. One was a female who somehow was always having babies; even when kept inside. (My brother admitted to throwing her out to shut her up and at one point, let a tom in to...service her needs.) Eventually, the vet was asking nearly a grand to spay her. (Adding a couple hundred per litter. Money was tight at the time; we really were trying to get her fixed.) So, we kept one of her final kittens and she literally went to live on a farm. (She had one more litter and they got her spayed. She and her kittens; who were also fixed, live in a heated barn and get all the milk and meat they could dream of.) Honestly, we could have gotten the money together for it. But, after her final litter here, her personality changed and she attacked my PB mix dog (who despite his size had the heart of a mouse) and he needed stitches after. (We also realized she was killing her kittens by biting their windpipes and had to bottle feed them.) We were worried she'd eventually attack us (my family always has a baby or small kid at some point) and knew we had to find a nice home.

The kitten was my best friend and was run off by either our feral senior or a neighbor kid. He later showed up on the SPCA Facebook looking for a forever home with 'lots of nice kids, another cat, and a big, sunny window'. I wanted him back (the worker posting was a friend and would have given him back). But mom said no because we had my current Tortie. His name is now 'MisterMom' (because he's intersex) and he lives with a lovely couple with two darling children, four cats, a couple dogs, a snake, bird and a giant fenced in yard with lots of warm stone to sleep on. (But he prefers sleeping in bed with the humans...nice to see he never changed.)

That was a nice change of subject.

 

[dogperson2cats]

I understand that. I too would choose a dog over a cat but I live with three cat people so I'm out-voted. But it does help that our kittens love me best so it makes it easier for me to love them back. I pretty much tolerated any other cat we had because I was always the last person they liked even though I was the one who did everything for them.Cats are complicated and do what they want because in their mind, you are their slave. Dogs are less complicated and want to please us. Cats could care less what we want.

As far as the kneading goes, my Boone only kneads when he is suckling an item of clothing like my shirt.I would much rather have the kneading than dealing with a soggy shirt for the next few hours.

Tell me about it! If they weren't so stinking cute, it'd suck! Also...toe beans. My Tortie has pink and black beans. I am obsessed.

Awww drooly baby! Our senior feral was always like that. I kinda really miss it now that he's gone.

 

[klunick]

Tell me about it! If they weren't so stinking cute, it'd suck! Also...toe beans. My Tortie has pink and black beans. I am obsessed.

Awww drooly baby! Our senior feral was always like that. I kinda really miss it now that he's gone.

I grew up with a cat who would suckle on our ear lobes. Purring the whole time right in your ear. She lived to be 21. She literally was fine one day, wobbly the next, dead the day after that.

 

[Caspers Human]

I'm sorry all it takes is either of my parents *breathing* too loud and the cats run and hide. When my parents even slightly raise their voices, the cats tuck their tails and make themselves scarce. These cats are terrified of my parents' reactions to their misbehaviour or even slightly annoying....

No wonder you have “problem cats!” The poor things are walking on eggshells their whole lives!

I am getting the feeling that we’re being trolled, here.

A question gets asked. People answer and give solutions but the answer always seems to be, “Nope! Nope!... Won’t work!... Damn cats!... I want a dog!”

It doesn’t matter what kind of animal you want to keep as a pet... Dog, cat, hamster or whatever. You’ve got to take responsibility for your pets and responsibility means that you have to work for it.

If people aren’t willing to be responsible and work for it, they shouldn’t have pets.

Thats what every kid is told by their parents when they get their first pet.

The way it’s going in your house, you would be better off sending all your animals to a shelter and just getting a goldfish.

At least goldfish don’t knead!

 

[dogperson2cats]

No wonder you have “problem cats!” The poor things are walking on eggshells their whole lives!

I am getting the feeling that we’re being trolled, here.

A question gets asked. People answer and give solutions but the answer always seems to be, “Nope! Nope!... Won’t work!... Damn cats!... I want a dog!”

It doesn’t matter what kind of animal you want to keep as a pet... Dog, cat, hamster or whatever. You’ve got to take responsibility for your pets and responsibility means that you have to work for it.

If people aren’t willing to be responsible and work for it, they shouldn’t have pets.

Thats what every kid is told by their parents when they get their first pet.

The way it’s going in your house, you would be better off sending all your animals to a shelter and just getting a goldfish.

At least goldfish don’t knead!

I thought that was normal? The eggshells I mean. My whole family is like that; the houses are described as 'pressure cooker environments'.

Yeah; things that have failed many times with this specific cat or with both in general.


I know that. Between mom and I, I am the only one doing most of the bonding and care. So much so I have no sweet clue why or how her cat loves her the way he does. There's still behaviors I dislike but we're working on them. None of these animals are even supposed to be mine; they're all moms but she got sick of them and got a new one. (Fine by me in the sense of I actually try to take care of and love them. My Tortie beeb and two guinea pigs are wonderfully annoying but oh so sweet and I'd be lost without them. They don't respond to her anymore, either.) And yeah; a doggo would be great; my last one died in 2013 because someone poisoned him and my 7 mile walks are lonely without that company. But guess what? Mom's got her eye on one; a mutt roughly the size of her cat give or take an inch and I am praying she doesn't get it. It'd be a fluffy cluster-****.

A fishtank would be lovely someday when I am able to dump thousands of dollars into the hobby to make sure the fish are healthy and happy. Not gonna lie there. Did you know they keep growing and need HUGE tanks but can live 30 years or more?

Moms cat kneaded me earlier; made some quality biscuits and purred so hard he looked blurry. (Or maybe it was the heat and the fact I need glasses but cannot afford them?) He's never done that to me before. It hurt but...when I moved his paws the third time? He was a little more gentle. Mom was shocked. I don't know if it was because he wasn't on me that he couldn't get a grip or if he's just really rough on mom but if THAT is what she's complaining about...she's a wuss. I've had poison ivy more painful. And yeah; maybe the kneading+20-25 pounds of cat sitting on you is a bit much. But if he wasn't stubborn with me...maybe there's something I am not seeing between them? (I spend most my time with my own cat.) He still had the grip of a bear-trap, however.

I wish they could talk. I'd honestly be like "Hey handsome. Why you kneading mom to the point she wants to declaw you?" He'd either say "Cause I LOOOOOOVE her!" or "Malicious kindness. She did XYZ and I am far too nice to do what your cat does...."

I need to go hug that cat more, honestly. I love him about as much as I do mine and...I wish I had hugged my feral more before he died.

 

[Furballsmom]

They can at least be thankful and not cause trouble

I need to go hug that cat more, honestly. I love him about as much as I do mine and...I wish I had hugged my feral more before he died.

My boy gets hugged (well, sort of) a lot, and he is very talkative, appreciative (frequently although not all the time if he's on a mission elsewhere after he's gotten treats) and causes less trouble than a horse, --which if you don't know get into trouble as a natural course of life.

A fishtank would be lovely someday when I am able to dump thousands of dollars into the hobby to make sure the fish are healthy and happy. Not gonna lie there. Did you know they keep growing and need HUGE tanks but can live 30 years or more?

a few hundred $, and bettas don't (...need huge tanks a 20 gal is fine) (...live that long), wish they did

 

[dogperson2cats]

My boy gets hugged (well, sort of) a lot, and he is very talkative, appreciative (frequently although not all the time if he's on a mission elsewhere after he's gotten treats) and causes less trouble than a horse, --which if you don't know get into trouble as a natural course of life.


a few hundred $, and bettas don't (...need huge tanks a 20 gal is fine) (...live that long), wish they did

I just found my cats old bandanna I got as a promotion for a groomer here and put it on him. Super handsome boi.

I intend on having a nice tank someday. One or two goldfish if size is right.

 

[jeannem]

I may sound very ignorant here. What's so bad about kneading?
j

 

[dogperson2cats]

I may sound very ignorant here. What's so bad about kneading?
j

She doesn't like the way his claws poke her and probably him sitting in her.