Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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" and when they are both done there's a bit of grooming at Fluffy" - I assume growling?

I actually don't know what my intended sentence was here haha. No growling. They are perfectly content after they've eaten beside eachother. I think what I meant to say was Sapphire will step back a bit into her room and start grooming herself and fluffy will sometimes just sit and groom in the hall for a minute or two before he goes downstairs or he sometimes goes right away. So far there hasn't been a single hiss or growl or overly excited Fluffy at dinner time.
Hahahahaha, ok.

"No growling. " - GREAT!!!!

"They are perfectly content after they've eaten beside eachother." - AMAZING!!! Even better!!!

" I think what I meant to say was Sapphire will step back a bit into her room and start grooming herself and fluffy will sometimes just sit and groom in the hall for a minute or two before he goes downstairs or he sometimes goes right away." - PERFECT!!!!

" So far there hasn't been a single hiss or growl or overly excited Fluffy at dinner time." - WOW!!! Tells me everything. They are just fine!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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Hahahahaha, ok.

"No growling. " - GREAT!!!!

"They are perfectly content after they've eaten beside eachother." - AMAZING!!! Even better!!!

" I think what I meant to say was Sapphire will step back a bit into her room and start grooming herself and fluffy will sometimes just sit and groom in the hall for a minute or two before he goes downstairs or he sometimes goes right away." - PERFECT!!!!

" So far there hasn't been a single hiss or growl or overly excited Fluffy at dinner time." - WOW!!! Tells me everything. They are just fine!!! :)
Sapphire has started once again coming to the stairs usually several times a night. I can also easily get her to come closer to the bottom now using a treat. The bannister acts as a nice barrier so that Sapphire can peak through and watch Fluffy and Fluffy can kind of reach up and try and sniff her or they can paw at eachother. Usually Fluffy sniffs, Sapphire hisses or growls, and Fluffy goes down and sits and watches. They've had a few pawing matches so far and sometimes after her frantic hissing and growling and swatting Sapphire will run upstairs and sometimes she sits and stays for a bit.

Tonight they really got into whacking eachothers paws back and forth twice so I calmly pulled Fluffy back down to the floor and she ran upstairs. Very surprising to me was that Fluffy hissed at her when he was back down on the ground before walking off sulking. I'm not sure if he was upset or he was just extra worked up (I think I've mentioned he hisses at his toys when he's really into playing with them). I went upstairs and Sapphire seemed fine and we even played for a bit.

Here are some videos I took of them eating together and some minor interaction through the stairs (I didn't get any of the swatting)
 

calicosrspecial

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Sapphire has started once again coming to the stairs usually several times a night. I can also easily get her to come closer to the bottom now using a treat. The bannister acts as a nice barrier so that Sapphire can peak through and watch Fluffy and Fluffy can kind of reach up and try and sniff her or they can paw at eachother. Usually Fluffy sniffs, Sapphire hisses or growls, and Fluffy goes down and sits and watches. They've had a few pawing matches so far and sometimes after her frantic hissing and growling and swatting Sapphire will run upstairs and sometimes she sits and stays for a bit.

Tonight they really got into whacking eachothers paws back and forth twice so I calmly pulled Fluffy back down to the floor and she ran upstairs. Very surprising to me was that Fluffy hissed at her when he was back down on the ground before walking off sulking. I'm not sure if he was upset or he was just extra worked up (I think I've mentioned he hisses at his toys when he's really into playing with them). I went upstairs and Sapphire seemed fine and we even played for a bit.

Here are some videos I took of them eating together and some minor interaction through the stairs (I didn't get any of the swatting)
"Sapphire has started once again coming to the stairs usually several times a night." - GREAT!!!

" I can also easily get her to come closer to the bottom now using a treat. " - FANTASTIC!!!

""The bannister acts as a nice barrier so that Sapphire can peak through and watch Fluffy and Fluffy can kind of reach up and try and sniff her or they can paw at eachother." - Yes

" Usually Fluffy sniffs," - Great

" Sapphire hisses or growls," - Yep

" and Fluffy goes down and sits and watches." - Awwwwwwwwww

" They've had a few pawing matches so far and sometimes after her frantic hissing and growling and swatting Sapphire will run upstairs and sometimes she sits and stays for a bit." - Ok, that sounds fine.

"Tonight they really got into whacking eachothers paws back and forth twice" - Ok

" so I calmly pulled Fluffy back down to the floor" - Good job, just be careful you don't get hurt accidentally.

"and she ran upstairs." - Ok. How did she act after?

" Very surprising to me was that Fluffy hissed at her when he was back down on the ground before walking off sulking." - Well, he does like to hiss. AND I can't blame him for being frustrated. BUT if that is the worst he did that is good. Poor guy, walked away "sulking". :(

" I'm not sure if he was upset or he was just extra worked up (I think I've mentioned he hisses at his toys when he's really into playing with them). " - Tough to know but I guess he is just so frustrated. :( BUT he didn't lash out etc. So I would give him an A!!!

"I went upstairs and Sapphire seemed fine and we even played for a bit. " - THAT is the key. She is the key to all this. If she handles it well then it was fine.

Sounds like really good progress. A good test and they both passed with flying colors!!!

Video 1 - MY GOODNESS ARE THEY ADORABLE!!!!! Perfect video!! He is so good, she is focused on the food and he moves and she doesn't flinch. PERFECT!!!

Video 2 - Perfect!!! She looks so much more confident, comfortable. And he is so good. He wants to play. I think she is starting to trust him and understand him.

FANTASTIC!!!! I think this is the best I have ever seen!!! Keep up the great work!!! She is coming around!!! :) Just don't force it, let her go at her pace.

GREAT JOB!!!! :)
 

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**note I didn't read all the way through so sorry if I missed something.

Tip 1: tire kitten out before face to face intros. Maybe that means bringing him out, let him explore/play and then he naps somewhere in the house and fluffy comes out.

Tip 2: bring resident cat something that smells like new cat. Feed resident cat treats.

Tip 3:. Is there space under your door? Have new cat "feed" treats to resident cat under the door. This made Nobel love Magnus. He growled while chewing at first the weirdo. Work up to tossing kibbles or treats to both cats with baby gate. I actually bought a separate type of kitten food to use as treats during intros for this reason. A high reward treat like a Churu in a bowl can also work (allow for lots of separation and distance from the gate and ensure cats don't have to turn their backs to one another while eating)

To build up to Tip 3 you might have to start feeding them slowly closer together. Or start with taking a blanket that smells like new cat and putting it next to resident cats food.

Tip 4: play with them nearby the other without visual. If space between door and floor build up to using a paper straw under the door so each playing with each other. My cats still play like this after full integration.

Tip 5: catnip, calming music (especially one with cats purring in it - try YouTube music) and relaxation hormones of some sort.
 

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Just watched the videos too. That's amazing progress really!! You should be proud! You're all doing excellently.

With Sapphire you just described Nobel being introduced to any new cat. Time and patience patience patience. You have a slow to warm cat. Just go at her pace and keep rolling back as needed. I really look forward to seeing your progress.

Ps. Some kittens hiss at toys. Too cute! He might always do that.
 
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Graham18

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I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now. Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats. The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs. She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat. Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again, but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch. Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again.

Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened. I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine. Later on they ate dinner together as usual, and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about.
When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire.

The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her.

I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything.
 

calicosrspecial

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I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now. Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats. The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs. She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat. Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again, but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch. Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again.

Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened. I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine. Later on they ate dinner together as usual, and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about.
When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire.

The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her.

I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything.
"I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats." - Fantastic

" The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs." - Ok

" She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat." - Ok

" Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. " - Ok

"On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again," - Great

" but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch." - Ok

" Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again." - Probably. But they didn't fight, correct?

"Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother" - Great

" and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. " - Ok. I am guessing play?

"He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened." - Ok

How she acts after that will be a good "tell".

" I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine." - WOW!!! GREAT!!! That is what I would hope to see.

" Later on they ate dinner together as usual," - PERFECT!!!!

" and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed." - Great

Well, that is amazing and better than I expected and hoped. So all these "close calls" and she is fine. So those "close calls" actually can build trust and confidence. Terrific.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

Video - Well, I think we should try to distract before they start pawing. SO Hang out with him on the other side of the room, etc. Just to try to make it calm, positive etc.

"As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about." - Ok, let's see

"When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire." - Yes, excitement, play time.

"The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her." - Ok, interesting. So rubbing is marking, getting his scent on things and "owning" it. So he could feel a bit insecure so needs to "own" more things. So the chasing her down there might be some territorial defensiveness. Or it could just be that he is excited about her and rubs to calm himself, etc. Try to keep playing with him there. Let's keep an eye on that.

"I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything." - They do, they are interesting. Nothing really that is concerning. I do what to keep an eye on his behavior downstairs (which is different than upstairs).

Overall, I would say this is really positive (I LOVE how she has rebounded from his antics). She seems more confident, more trusting but still not totally there yet. But the more she is "tested" and realizes he isn't really a threat the better she will get.

I think we are getting there. It is not smooth but a lot of positives. Some things that need to improve but I suspect they will. Just keep playing with him, keep it positive with them (using food) or just hanging out. Distract as needed to keep it as positive as possible. Keep building on the positives upstairs. I think you are totally on track. Keep up the great work.
 
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Graham18

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"I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats." - Fantastic

" The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs." - Ok

" She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat." - Ok

" Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. " - Ok

"On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again," - Great

" but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch." - Ok

" Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again." - Probably. But they didn't fight, correct?

"Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother" - Great

" and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. " - Ok. I am guessing play?

"He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened." - Ok

How she acts after that will be a good "tell".

" I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine." - WOW!!! GREAT!!! That is what I would hope to see.

" Later on they ate dinner together as usual," - PERFECT!!!!

" and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed." - Great

Well, that is amazing and better than I expected and hoped. So all these "close calls" and she is fine. So those "close calls" actually can build trust and confidence. Terrific.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

Video - Well, I think we should try to distract before they start pawing. SO Hang out with him on the other side of the room, etc. Just to try to make it calm, positive etc.

"As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about." - Ok, let's see

"When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire." - Yes, excitement, play time.

"The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her." - Ok, interesting. So rubbing is marking, getting his scent on things and "owning" it. So he could feel a bit insecure so needs to "own" more things. So the chasing her down there might be some territorial defensiveness. Or it could just be that he is excited about her and rubs to calm himself, etc. Try to keep playing with him there. Let's keep an eye on that.

"I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything." - They do, they are interesting. Nothing really that is concerning. I do what to keep an eye on his behavior downstairs (which is different than upstairs).

Overall, I would say this is really positive (I LOVE how she has rebounded from his antics). She seems more confident, more trusting but still not totally there yet. But the more she is "tested" and realizes he isn't really a threat the better she will get.

I think we are getting there. It is not smooth but a lot of positives. Some things that need to improve but I suspect they will. Just keep playing with him, keep it positive with them (using food) or just hanging out. Distract as needed to keep it as positive as possible. Keep building on the positives upstairs. I think you are totally on track. Keep up the great work.
I will keep an eye on it for sure. He's quite happy downstairs so I don't know if he's insecure about it but it could be. We play quite a lot and he loves to just run around having fun downstairs. Sometimes he also starts rubbing on things when he thinks he's going to get treats so it could possibly be excitement as well. No matter what he's doing downstairs, he's constantly checking to see if Sapphire is there and sometimes he'll just run over to the stairs as if he wants to go upstairs and see her. I will keep distracted him with treats as I was doing last night, though he usually doesn't want to go anywhere and hangout besides the base of the stairs (possibly because he knows he'll get treats when she's around). My intent with letting them paw through the stairs was hoping it would let them work things out in a safe way and hoping that Sapphire would eventually reciprocate play with him but I will try to avoid it.

I did try and get a video of him rubbing but last night he didn't do it. Here is the video anyways, however it's quite uneventful.
 

calicosrspecial

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I will keep an eye on it for sure. He's quite happy downstairs so I don't know if he's insecure about it but it could be. We play quite a lot and he loves to just run around having fun downstairs. Sometimes he also starts rubbing on things when he thinks he's going to get treats so it could possibly be excitement as well. No matter what he's doing downstairs, he's constantly checking to see if Sapphire is there and sometimes he'll just run over to the stairs as if he wants to go upstairs and see her. I will keep distracted him with treats as I was doing last night, though he usually doesn't want to go anywhere and hangout besides the base of the stairs (possibly because he knows he'll get treats when she's around). My intent with letting them paw through the stairs was hoping it would let them work things out in a safe way and hoping that Sapphire would eventually reciprocate play with him but I will try to avoid it.

I did try and get a video of him rubbing but last night he didn't do it. Here is the video anyways, however it's quite uneventful.
"I will keep an eye on it for sure." - Good. Cats rub all the time and usually in isolation it is not an issue. So we try to find other clues to let us know if there is something negative.

" He's quite happy downstairs" - Yes

" so I don't know if he's insecure about it but it could be." - In the videos he sure doesn't look insecure

" We play quite a lot and he loves to just run around having fun downstairs." - Yes

" Sometimes he also starts rubbing on things when he thinks he's going to get treats so it could possibly be excitement as well." - Absolutely.

" No matter what he's doing downstairs, he's constantly checking to see if Sapphire is there and sometimes he'll just run over to the stairs as if he wants to go upstairs and see her." - Awwwwwwwwww. I think he gets frustrated at times as he wants to play with her so badly. :/

" I will keep distracted him with treats as I was doing last night," - Great

"though he usually doesn't want to go anywhere and hangout besides the base of the stairs (possibly because he knows he'll get treats when she's around)." - Awwwwwwwwww

" My intent with letting them paw through the stairs was hoping it would let them work things out in a safe way and hoping that Sapphire would eventually reciprocate play with him but I will try to avoid it." - Yes, understand. I think it can just amp up energy and it can go negative. SO far now I would try to avoid it and keep it calm, positive, etc. Not a big deal though as they are doing great.

"I did try and get a video of him rubbing but last night he didn't do it." - Of course he didn't!!! ;)

" Here is the video anyways, however it's quite uneventful. " - Great

Video - Great. He looks great, she looks great. They are ADORABLE!!! He is calm, confident. WANTS to play with her. :/ But it is perfect. Those are cats that are fine fundamentally. I am not seeing signs of "issues". Terrific!!!

GREAT JOB!!! :)
 
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