Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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Yes he was wanting to see her in a good way. I actually don't know if that's what he wanted but he usually just lays in the middle of the living room watching the top of the stairs meowing so I assume he's looking/waiting for her.

He was a little bit worked up when I had him but not too much. I don't recall him biting me at all and we went back downstairs without any issues.

After thinking about it, I believe I may have figured out why Sapphire was so grouchy/upset. Before I brought him upstairs, we were at the foot of the stairs and suddenly he tried to bolt up the stairs at high speed but I managed to catch him after he got up a few steps. I didn't see Sapphire at the top of the stairs but perhaps I missed her, or she may have peaked around the corner and he saw her. He's usually pretty good at not going upstairs when I'm nearby, especially at the speed he tried to go looking like he was after something. I won't ever know, so it's just an assumption that he was trying to chase her.
"Yes he was wanting to see her in a good way." - GREAT!!

" I actually don't know if that's what he wanted but he usually just lays in the middle of the living room watching the top of the stairs meowing so I assume he's looking/waiting for her." - Agreed

"He was a little bit worked up when I had him but not too much. I don't recall him biting me at all and we went back downstairs without any issues." - Great!!! Worked up is expected.

I thought of you last night. My oldest girl growled at her brother. Didn't even phase me, they were chasing, running around like crazy, etc. If a good base of trust and love exists then they can handle a lot (or anything).

"After thinking about it, I believe I may have figured out why Sapphire was so grouchy/upset. Before I brought him upstairs, we were at the foot of the stairs and suddenly he tried to bolt up the stairs at high speed but I managed to catch him after he got up a few steps. I didn't see Sapphire at the top of the stairs but perhaps I missed her, or she may have peaked around the corner and he saw her." - Ahhhhhh, makes sense.

" He's usually pretty good at not going upstairs when I'm nearby, especially at the speed he tried to go looking like he was after something. " - Makes sense

"I won't ever know, so it's just an assumption that he was trying to chase her." - Yes. The keys are why to chase and how they act after. My guess is he wants to play.
 
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"Yes he was wanting to see her in a good way." - GREAT!!

" I actually don't know if that's what he wanted but he usually just lays in the middle of the living room watching the top of the stairs meowing so I assume he's looking/waiting for her." - Agreed

"He was a little bit worked up when I had him but not too much. I don't recall him biting me at all and we went back downstairs without any issues." - Great!!! Worked up is expected.

I thought of you last night. My oldest girl growled at her brother. Didn't even phase me, they were chasing, running around like crazy, etc. If a good base of trust and love exists then they can handle a lot (or anything).

"After thinking about it, I believe I may have figured out why Sapphire was so grouchy/upset. Before I brought him upstairs, we were at the foot of the stairs and suddenly he tried to bolt up the stairs at high speed but I managed to catch him after he got up a few steps. I didn't see Sapphire at the top of the stairs but perhaps I missed her, or she may have peaked around the corner and he saw her." - Ahhhhhh, makes sense.

" He's usually pretty good at not going upstairs when I'm nearby, especially at the speed he tried to go looking like he was after something. " - Makes sense

"I won't ever know, so it's just an assumption that he was trying to chase her." - Yes. The keys are why to chase and how they act after. My guess is he wants to play.
I am also thinking that he wants to play. I think I've ruled out aggression with how excited he gets when he sees her, but I'm not too sure about what I should be looking for to rule out something like bullying or possibly viewing me as his territory and trying to keep her away from me.
 

calicosrspecial

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I am also thinking that he wants to play. I think I've ruled out aggression with how excited he gets when he sees her, but I'm not too sure about what I should be looking for to rule out something like bullying or possibly viewing me as his territory and trying to keep her away from me.
"I am also thinking that he wants to play." - Great. I trust your instincts, they are very good.

" I think I've ruled out aggression with how excited he gets when he sees her," - Great. From the videos I have seen and what I read I would agree.

" but I'm not too sure about what I should be looking for to rule out something like bullying" - Yes, well bullying I think you would know. It wouldn't be that "scary" but it would be persistent. It would be more constant, not backing off or backing off then going back, cornering, blocking, etc. Things like that. From what I have seen and read it doesn't seem likely that is what it is.

" or possibly viewing me as his territory and trying to keep her away from me." - Well, it would be more between you both, he would be REALLY clingy when she is around much more often than when she is not around. His body language would change, be more rubbing, more "serious". I think your instincts would sense that AND I would be able to see it in videos and read it and I am not picking up that either.

I think he just wants to play with his sister. Gets frustrated he can't and/or she doesn't want to. At some point she will engage in play OR he will just kinda give up more and more and "get the message". I think we are seeing more of the later lately BUT I still think (and I could be wrong) that at some point she is going to play with him. We shall see.

It really is just personalities and relationship stuff. Not everyone can be best friends, marry, etc. All living creatures have personalities and preferences and sometimes they match and sometimes they don't. But as long as we can co-exist and be happy and safe then it is not so bad.

Hopefully in time you can spend less time on them (monitoring) and more on life at home and engaging with them in a playful, fun, and loving way. It will happen, just when is the question in my mind (though it does seem to slowly getting better).

Hang in there and try to enjoy them and not stress too much and just enjoy time at home.
 
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"I am also thinking that he wants to play." - Great. I trust your instincts, they are very good.

" I think I've ruled out aggression with how excited he gets when he sees her," - Great. From the videos I have seen and what I read I would agree.

" but I'm not too sure about what I should be looking for to rule out something like bullying" - Yes, well bullying I think you would know. It wouldn't be that "scary" but it would be persistent. It would be more constant, not backing off or backing off then going back, cornering, blocking, etc. Things like that. From what I have seen and read it doesn't seem likely that is what it is.

" or possibly viewing me as his territory and trying to keep her away from me." - Well, it would be more between you both, he would be REALLY clingy when she is around much more often than when she is not around. His body language would change, be more rubbing, more "serious". I think your instincts would sense that AND I would be able to see it in videos and read it and I am not picking up that either.

I think he just wants to play with his sister. Gets frustrated he can't and/or she doesn't want to. At some point she will engage in play OR he will just kinda give up more and more and "get the message". I think we are seeing more of the later lately BUT I still think (and I could be wrong) that at some point she is going to play with him. We shall see.

It really is just personalities and relationship stuff. Not everyone can be best friends, marry, etc. All living creatures have personalities and preferences and sometimes they match and sometimes they don't. But as long as we can co-exist and be happy and safe then it is not so bad.

Hopefully in time you can spend less time on them (monitoring) and more on life at home and engaging with them in a playful, fun, and loving way. It will happen, just when is the question in my mind (though it does seem to slowly getting better).

Hang in there and try to enjoy them and not stress too much and just enjoy time at home.
Thank you! I hope that soon I can spend less time just worrying.

Sapphire hasn't come downstairs to see her brother pretty much at all this last week. When I do manage to have them together, it's just a hissing and growling fest from Sapphire before she takes off back to her room. My worry is that, by having fluffy out so much in the morning and evening, Sapphire is getting depressed or sad from wanting to hangout downstairs but fearing Fluffy too much.

I've spent a lot of time playing with her and cuddling with her downstairs to try and boost her confidence but so far it's a no go. As soon as she hears his door close, she's right downstairs wanting to play or on my lap.

She has gotten a little bit moody lately as well. For example, as soon as they eat dinner upstairs, I bring Fluffy downstairs as he no longer wants to play in my bedroom and wants to go out as soon as he's eaten. While he is safely downstairs I've tried to go comfort Sapphire but she usually just growls and swats at me so I end up leaving her alone in her room or talking to her a bit before going back down.

Most likely unrelated, but I removed the feliway multi cat that I had downstairs as it was empty and I can't afford refills at the moment. I could never tell if it was helping at all anyways, and the lower level of the house is quite expansive so I wasn't sure if it would cover the space or not.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you! I hope that soon I can spend less time just worrying.

Sapphire hasn't come downstairs to see her brother pretty much at all this last week. When I do manage to have them together, it's just a hissing and growling fest from Sapphire before she takes off back to her room. My worry is that, by having fluffy out so much in the morning and evening, Sapphire is getting depressed or sad from wanting to hangout downstairs but fearing Fluffy too much.

I've spent a lot of time playing with her and cuddling with her downstairs to try and boost her confidence but so far it's a no go. As soon as she hears his door close, she's right downstairs wanting to play or on my lap.

She has gotten a little bit moody lately as well. For example, as soon as they eat dinner upstairs, I bring Fluffy downstairs as he no longer wants to play in my bedroom and wants to go out as soon as he's eaten. While he is safely downstairs I've tried to go comfort Sapphire but she usually just growls and swats at me so I end up leaving her alone in her room or talking to her a bit before going back down.

Most likely unrelated, but I removed the feliway multi cat that I had downstairs as it was empty and I can't afford refills at the moment. I could never tell if it was helping at all anyways, and the lower level of the house is quite expansive so I wasn't sure if it would cover the space or not.
"Thank you!" - You are welcome.

" I hope that soon I can spend less time just worrying." - I don't think you have to worry. AND being "yourself" will not only help them it will help you.

"Sapphire hasn't come downstairs to see her brother pretty much at all this last week." - Hmmmmmmmm. Ok

" When I do manage to have them together, " - Ok, let's not force it. Just let her do her thing and let her initiate the interaction.

"it's just a hissing and growling fest from Sapphire before she takes off back to her room." - Ok

"My worry is that, by having fluffy out so much in the morning and evening, Sapphire is getting depressed or sad from wanting to hangout downstairs but fearing Fluffy too much." - Well, at this point we have to let Fluffy be out. So she needs to stand up and chose. Do all the love and play with her, don't "baby" her but love her. Does she seem depressed or are you thinking that may be the case?

"I've spent a lot of time playing with her and cuddling with her downstairs to try and boost her confidence" - GREAT!!!

" but so far it's a no go." - Ok. Keep trying.

" As soon as she hears his door close, she's right downstairs wanting to play or on my lap." - Well THAT is GREAT!!! This could be a great sign to get her the initiative to stand up to him.

"She has gotten a little bit moody lately as well." - Ok

" For example, as soon as they eat dinner upstairs, I bring Fluffy downstairs as he no longer wants to play in my bedroom and wants to go out as soon as he's eaten. " - OK

"While he is safely downstairs I've tried to go comfort Sapphire but she usually just growls and swats at me so I end up leaving her alone in her room or talking to her a bit before going back down." - Ok. Cats do like to groom then sleep after eating so it may just be that. So it may just be a timing issue. Does she do that at other times as well?

"Most likely unrelated, but I removed the feliway multi cat that I had downstairs as it was empty and I can't afford refills at the moment. I could never tell if it was helping at all anyways, and the lower level of the house is quite expansive so I wasn't sure if it would cover the space or not. " - Ok. Maybe it helps her but personally I am not a big believer. If money is not an object then I would say "why not try it etc" but personally I think there are better uses of money if a choice has to made. I would not worry at all.

So was she coming down this past week when he is not around or is she totally not coming down?

Also, don't force attention, just be natural, be loving to her. She needs to make the choice of what she wants. Keep building her confidence. Play.

At some point we'll try to get something with her scent on from "her room" and bring it downstairs to give her a bigger feeling of "ownership" of the downstairs again.

Just keep at it and let's see what progress she makes. As long as she is acting normal and is safe then we are on track. She needs needs to get over that last hump. You are doing everything you can and Fluffy is doing most of what he can. So it really is up to her. The fact she is happy at night with you (when he is in bed) that tells me we can get there. We just need to get over that last hump.

Hang in there. I can tell it is tough on you. :/
 
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"Thank you!" - You are welcome.

" I hope that soon I can spend less time just worrying." - I don't think you have to worry. AND being "yourself" will not only help them it will help you.

"Sapphire hasn't come downstairs to see her brother pretty much at all this last week." - Hmmmmmmmm. Ok

" When I do manage to have them together, " - Ok, let's not force it. Just let her do her thing and let her initiate the interaction.

"it's just a hissing and growling fest from Sapphire before she takes off back to her room." - Ok

"My worry is that, by having fluffy out so much in the morning and evening, Sapphire is getting depressed or sad from wanting to hangout downstairs but fearing Fluffy too much." - Well, at this point we have to let Fluffy be out. So she needs to stand up and chose. Do all the love and play with her, don't "baby" her but love her. Does she seem depressed or are you thinking that may be the case?

"I've spent a lot of time playing with her and cuddling with her downstairs to try and boost her confidence" - GREAT!!!

" but so far it's a no go." - Ok. Keep trying.

" As soon as she hears his door close, she's right downstairs wanting to play or on my lap." - Well THAT is GREAT!!! This could be a great sign to get her the initiative to stand up to him.

"She has gotten a little bit moody lately as well." - Ok

" For example, as soon as they eat dinner upstairs, I bring Fluffy downstairs as he no longer wants to play in my bedroom and wants to go out as soon as he's eaten. " - OK

"While he is safely downstairs I've tried to go comfort Sapphire but she usually just growls and swats at me so I end up leaving her alone in her room or talking to her a bit before going back down." - Ok. Cats do like to groom then sleep after eating so it may just be that. So it may just be a timing issue. Does she do that at other times as well?

"Most likely unrelated, but I removed the feliway multi cat that I had downstairs as it was empty and I can't afford refills at the moment. I could never tell if it was helping at all anyways, and the lower level of the house is quite expansive so I wasn't sure if it would cover the space or not. " - Ok. Maybe it helps her but personally I am not a big believer. If money is not an object then I would say "why not try it etc" but personally I think there are better uses of money if a choice has to made. I would not worry at all.

So was she coming down this past week when he is not around or is she totally not coming down?

Also, don't force attention, just be natural, be loving to her. She needs to make the choice of what she wants. Keep building her confidence. Play.

At some point we'll try to get something with her scent on from "her room" and bring it downstairs to give her a bigger feeling of "ownership" of the downstairs again.

Just keep at it and let's see what progress she makes. As long as she is acting normal and is safe then we are on track. She needs needs to get over that last hump. You are doing everything you can and Fluffy is doing most of what he can. So it really is up to her. The fact she is happy at night with you (when he is in bed) that tells me we can get there. We just need to get over that last hump.

Hang in there. I can tell it is tough on you. :/
I think it's probably just over thinking in that she's depressed. When I go to see her upstairs while Fluffy is out downstairs she'll just be laying in her bed. In some cases she looks like she's sleeping but other times she just lays curled up staring at the doorway or with her head hanging over the edge of her bed.

Her "getting annoyed" and swatting at me only happens when she is upstairs in her room and Fluffy is out downstairs, usually right after I've brought him from my room upstairs, to downstairs. I remembered that right after it happened last night I played with her for about a minute with a string toy and she seemed okay after she was done playing and laid down to relax without any issues.

She only doesn't come downstairs when Fluffy is around. Any time that he is either sleeping in his room or upstairs sleeping in my room she is downstairs happy as can be. She will nap, cuddle, play, etc. It's just her fear or distrust of him that keeps her upstairs when he's out and about. Usually within minutes of his door being closed she's back to her usual self.

I'm sure she's probably just a bit cautious still from the chase and she'll come around eventually.
 

calicosrspecial

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I think it's probably just over thinking in that she's depressed. When I go to see her upstairs while Fluffy is out downstairs she'll just be laying in her bed. In some cases she looks like she's sleeping but other times she just lays curled up staring at the doorway or with her head hanging over the edge of her bed. Her "getting annoyed" and swatting at me only happens when she is upstairs in her room and Fluffy is out downstairs, usually right after I've brought him from my room upstairs, to downstairs. I remembered that right after it happened last night I played with her for about a minute with a string toy and she seemed okay after she was done playing and laid down to relax without any issues. She only doesn't come downstairs when Fluffy is around. Any time that he is either sleeping in his room or upstairs sleeping in my room she is downstairs happy as can be. She will nap, cuddle, play, etc. It's just her fear or distrust of him that keeps her upstairs when he's out and about. Usually within minutes of his door being closed she's back to her usual self. I'm sure she's probably just a bit cautious still from the chase and she'll come around eventually.
I think it's probably just over thinking in that she's depressed. When I go to see her upstairs while Fluffy is out downstairs she'll just be laying in her bed. In some cases she looks like she's sleeping but other times she just lays curled up staring at the doorway or with her head hanging over the edge of her bed. Her "getting annoyed" and swatting at me only happens when she is upstairs in her room and Fluffy is out downstairs, usually right after I've brought him from my room upstairs, to downstairs. I remembered that right after it happened last night I played with her for about a minute with a string toy and she seemed okay after she was done playing and laid down to relax without any issues. She only doesn't come downstairs when Fluffy is around. Any time that he is either sleeping in his room or upstairs sleeping in my room she is downstairs happy as can be. She will nap, cuddle, play, etc. It's just her fear or distrust of him that keeps her upstairs when he's out and about. Usually within minutes of his door being closed she's back to her usual self. I'm sure she's probably just a bit cautious still from the chase and she'll come around eventually.
"I think it's probably just over thinking in that she's depressed." - OK

" When I go to see her upstairs while Fluffy is out downstairs she'll just be laying in her bed. In some cases she looks like she's sleeping but other times she just lays curled up staring at the doorway or with her head hanging over the edge of her bed." - Ok, that is pretty normal.

"Her "getting annoyed" and swatting at me only happens when she is upstairs in her room and Fluffy is out downstairs, usually right after I've brought him from my room upstairs, to downstairs." - Ok

" I remembered that right after it happened last night I played with her for about a minute with a string toy and she seemed okay after she was done playing and laid down to relax without any issues." - THAT is GREAT!!! Does not sound like an unhappy cat, etc.

"She only doesn't come downstairs when Fluffy is around." - Ok, very good

" Any time that he is either sleeping in his room or upstairs sleeping in my room she is downstairs happy as can be." - GREAT!!! If she wasn't doing that then it would be something we would need to work on.

" She will nap, cuddle, play, etc." - GREAT!!!

" It's just her fear or distrust of him that keeps her upstairs when he's out and about. " - Yes, ultimately that should lessen.

"Usually within minutes of his door being closed she's back to her usual self." - GREAT!!!

"I'm sure she's probably just a bit cautious still from the chase and she'll come around eventually. " - Yes, most likely.

Overall, this is more positive than I though. Terrific!!! Hang in there. It is better than you realize. Not perfect obviously but absolutely fine with progress to come.
 
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"I think it's probably just over thinking in that she's depressed." - OK

" When I go to see her upstairs while Fluffy is out downstairs she'll just be laying in her bed. In some cases she looks like she's sleeping but other times she just lays curled up staring at the doorway or with her head hanging over the edge of her bed." - Ok, that is pretty normal.

"Her "getting annoyed" and swatting at me only happens when she is upstairs in her room and Fluffy is out downstairs, usually right after I've brought him from my room upstairs, to downstairs." - Ok

" I remembered that right after it happened last night I played with her for about a minute with a string toy and she seemed okay after she was done playing and laid down to relax without any issues." - THAT is GREAT!!! Does not sound like an unhappy cat, etc.

"She only doesn't come downstairs when Fluffy is around." - Ok, very good

" Any time that he is either sleeping in his room or upstairs sleeping in my room she is downstairs happy as can be." - GREAT!!! If she wasn't doing that then it would be something we would need to work on.

" She will nap, cuddle, play, etc." - GREAT!!!

" It's just her fear or distrust of him that keeps her upstairs when he's out and about. " - Yes, ultimately that should lessen.

"Usually within minutes of his door being closed she's back to her usual self." - GREAT!!!

"I'm sure she's probably just a bit cautious still from the chase and she'll come around eventually. " - Yes, most likely.

Overall, this is more positive than I though. Terrific!!! Hang in there. It is better than you realize. Not perfect obviously but absolutely fine with progress to come.
Hello :)
Just a quick update. Sapphire has slowly been coming downstairs while Fluffy is out and about. She usually just makes her way to the stairs, however she has come down fully and gone behind her cat tree. She didn't stay long and there was some hissing and growling and Fluffy getting worked up and wanting to chase but nothing negative.

Sapphire has seemed happier as well lately and been extra playful with me too.

Here is a video I took last night with nothing exciting happening. Right after the video Sapphire went back upstairs.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello :)
Just a quick update. Sapphire has slowly been coming downstairs while Fluffy is out and about. She usually just makes her way to the stairs, however she has come down fully and gone behind her cat tree. She didn't stay long and there was some hissing and growling and Fluffy getting worked up and wanting to chase but nothing negative.

Sapphire has seemed happier as well lately and been extra playful with me too.

Here is a video I took last night with nothing exciting happening. Right after the video Sapphire went back upstairs.
"Hello :)" - Hello

"Just a quick update. Sapphire has slowly been coming downstairs while Fluffy is out and about." - GREAT!!!

" She usually just makes her way to the stairs, however she has come down fully and gone behind her cat tree." - TERRIFIC!!

" She didn't stay long and there was some hissing and growling and Fluffy getting worked up and wanting to chase but nothing negative." - That is fine. She is figuring it out. GREAT!!!

"Sapphire has seemed happier as well lately and been extra playful with me too. " - WONDERFUL!

Video - FANTASTIC!!!! They are SO ADORABLE!!! Fluffy is great. I don't see any hostility from him towards her. It seems like all interest/play. She was great in the video. He was as well. You did a great job!!! They are going to be just fine (in time).

I am so happy to read this update. Great progress. Slower than we may like but progress!!! Sapphire is doing great. I LOVE she is coming down. AND happy and playing more. And in the video her body language looks fantastic!!

Keep up the great work!! :)
 
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"Hello :)" - Hello

"Just a quick update. Sapphire has slowly been coming downstairs while Fluffy is out and about." - GREAT!!!

" She usually just makes her way to the stairs, however she has come down fully and gone behind her cat tree." - TERRIFIC!!

" She didn't stay long and there was some hissing and growling and Fluffy getting worked up and wanting to chase but nothing negative." - That is fine. She is figuring it out. GREAT!!!

"Sapphire has seemed happier as well lately and been extra playful with me too. " - WONDERFUL!

Video - FANTASTIC!!!! They are SO ADORABLE!!! Fluffy is great. I don't see any hostility from him towards her. It seems like all interest/play. She was great in the video. He was as well. You did a great job!!! They are going to be just fine (in time).

I am so happy to read this update. Great progress. Slower than we may like but progress!!! Sapphire is doing great. I LOVE she is coming down. AND happy and playing more. And in the video her body language looks fantastic!!

Keep up the great work!! :)
I would say that video is probably their best case interaction at the moment. Sapphire is usually quite a bit more growly and hisses quite a lot. Fluffy generally acts the same, however he does get more worked up sometimes and he'll try really hard to go around me or he'll sit there just panting and breathing heavily.

Unfortunately after that day, Sapphire hasn't bothered to come back downstairs while Fluffy is out. I've gone up to see what she's been doing and she's either laying somewhere watching the door or she'll be asleep in her bed.

Ive brought Fluffy upstairs a few times to see her. They are usually pretty good upstairs in her room and Fluffy will lay down most of the time but I have seen him start to get worked up and excited. Last night he startled sapphire a bit as he ran up the stairs quite fast and got ahead of me and tried to run into her room as she was on the ground. She spent the whole time growling and hissing at him while he just laid down. I could see him getting himself worked up every time she would growl at him so I cut the visit short and after putting Fluffy to bed I played with Sapphire upstairs.

That's it so far! Hoping she'll come down to visit at some point this week. I will be out of town for work next week so I'm hoping for progess.
 

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I would say that video is probably their best case interaction at the moment. Sapphire is usually quite a bit more growly and hisses quite a lot. Fluffy generally acts the same, however he does get more worked up sometimes and he'll try really hard to go around me or he'll sit there just panting and breathing heavily.

Unfortunately after that day, Sapphire hasn't bothered to come back downstairs while Fluffy is out. I've gone up to see what she's been doing and she's either laying somewhere watching the door or she'll be asleep in her bed.

Ive brought Fluffy upstairs a few times to see her. They are usually pretty good upstairs in her room and Fluffy will lay down most of the time but I have seen him start to get worked up and excited. Last night he startled sapphire a bit as he ran up the stairs quite fast and got ahead of me and tried to run into her room as she was on the ground. She spent the whole time growling and hissing at him while he just laid down. I could see him getting himself worked up every time she would growl at him so I cut the visit short and after putting Fluffy to bed I played with Sapphire upstairs.

That's it so far! Hoping she'll come down to visit at some point this week. I will be out of town for work next week so I'm hoping for progess.
"I would say that video is probably their best case interaction at the moment." - Ok. There isn't a lot more positive to achieve than the video. So I would say it is very good. AND if they can do it once they can do it more often. I am HAPPY with that video.

"Sapphire is usually quite a bit more growly and hisses quite a lot." - Yes. :) Silly girl!!!

" Fluffy generally acts the same, however he does get more worked up sometimes and he'll try really hard to go around me or he'll sit there just panting and breathing heavily." - Ok. I am guessing he just wants to play really badly. Poor guy. :/

"Unfortunately after that day, Sapphire hasn't bothered to come back downstairs while Fluffy is out." - Ok, I am not bothered by that. Since nothing negative happened I don't think it is because of a "negative" encounter. I think she probably just decided not to which is fine.

" I've gone up to see what she's been doing and she's either laying somewhere watching the door or she'll be asleep in her bed." - OK. That sounds like she is fine. Which is great.

"Ive brought Fluffy upstairs a few times to see her." - Ok

" They are usually pretty good upstairs in her room" - Yes

" and Fluffy will lay down most of the time" - Great

" but I have seen him start to get worked up and excited." - Of course, he is still young and full of energy.

" Last night he startled sapphire a bit as he ran up the stairs quite fast and got ahead of me and tried to run into her room as she was on the ground." - Awwwwwwwwww. Ok. Let's see how she reacted.

" She spent the whole time growling and hissing at him" - Yep. I am interested to read how she acted otherwise. Meaning, hiding, etc. And then after he was gone.

" while he just laid down. " - WOW!!! SO he respected her communication? GREAT!!!

"I could see him getting himself worked up every time she would growl at him so I cut the visit short" - Ok. So far it sounds great.

"and after putting Fluffy to bed I played with Sapphire upstairs." - GREAT!!!

"That's it so far! " - Ok. So she acted pretty normal after being startled? If so, THAT is AMAZING!!!! AND I LOVE how good he was.

"Hoping she'll come down to visit at some point this week." - Yes but just don't even think about it. Just go about life, enjoy the cats, etc. Just go about your interactions with them. It is not a big deal AND therefore you should not even think about it. She will in time. It sounds like she is doing really well.

" I will be out of town for work next week so I'm hoping for progess. " - Ok, have a safe trip. I am sure they will be fine. They should great. Sure it is not perfect yet but they are going to get there. The "startle" incident could have gone badly and/or had lingering issues but it sounds like it didn't which is a great sign.

Great update again!! Have a safe trip!! And talk soon.
 
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Graham18

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Hello! I was hoping to provide an update before I traveled but I was much too busy. I've ended up flying home a few days early due to an impending blizzard at home.

I don't have much new but I hope minor progress is still being made. Here are some of the things that I've seen/have happened from the best of my memory.

Things with Sapphire have been mostly the same. She typically just stays upstairs but she is still coming downstairs or at least to the stairs every now and then.

I've started again to feed the cats their wet food close together (maybe five feet apart) upstairs without a barrier. It seems to be going fine. Both the cats eat their food with no hissing or growling or excitement. Tonight after I got home from the airport was a good example. They ate, Fluffy walked back into my room and started licking his paws and Sapphire walked further into her room and did the same. After a minute or two Fluffy went downstairs on his own without paying much attention to Sapphire in her room.

I was told that both of the cats were good while I was away, though Fluffy did try and pounce on Sapphire once while she was in her room but failed. Unfortunately I don't have any more details.

Sapphire came to the stairs tonight and came about half way down for treats and Fluffy was quite excited. He probably had a bit more energy than is ideal as he was quite playful after dinner and was running around downstairs playing with all their toys. While Sapphire was on the stairs Fluffy sort of jumped up and was fast pawing through the bannister and Sapphire was pawing back hissing frantically the whole time before running back upstairs to have a snack. Fluffy seemed worked up and was just making some huffing and puffing type sounds while they were batting eachother through the bannister and after Sapphire ran upstairs it took a few minutes for him to calm down. I wish I had gotten it on video but I wasn't thinking fast enough to do so.

Finally, here is a video I took last week of them being good.

I'm trying to act less stressed when things are happening but I always seem to find a way to add more stress. I'm currently thinking about taking a vacation in July for a few days out of town but I'm quite worried about leaving them with just my mom to feed and look after them for that time as I'm definitely not expecting them to be able to be left alone together by then (as much as I'd like them to be able to co-exist by then). Just hoping for more progress I suppose.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello! I was hoping to provide an update before I traveled but I was much too busy. I've ended up flying home a few days early due to an impending blizzard at home.

I don't have much new but I hope minor progress is still being made. Here are some of the things that I've seen/have happened from the best of my memory.

Things with Sapphire have been mostly the same. She typically just stays upstairs but she is still coming downstairs or at least to the stairs every now and then.

I've started again to feed the cats their wet food close together (maybe five feet apart) upstairs without a barrier. It seems to be going fine. Both the cats eat their food with no hissing or growling or excitement. Tonight after I got home from the airport was a good example. They ate, Fluffy walked back into my room and started licking his paws and Sapphire walked further into her room and did the same. After a minute or two Fluffy went downstairs on his own without paying much attention to Sapphire in her room.

I was told that both of the cats were good while I was away, though Fluffy did try and pounce on Sapphire once while she was in her room but failed. Unfortunately I don't have any more details.

Sapphire came to the stairs tonight and came about half way down for treats and Fluffy was quite excited. He probably had a bit more energy than is ideal as he was quite playful after dinner and was running around downstairs playing with all their toys. While Sapphire was on the stairs Fluffy sort of jumped up and was fast pawing through the bannister and Sapphire was pawing back hissing frantically the whole time before running back upstairs to have a snack. Fluffy seemed worked up and was just making some huffing and puffing type sounds while they were batting eachother through the bannister and after Sapphire ran upstairs it took a few minutes for him to calm down. I wish I had gotten it on video but I wasn't thinking fast enough to do so.

Finally, here is a video I took last week of them being good.

I'm trying to act less stressed when things are happening but I always seem to find a way to add more stress. I'm currently thinking about taking a vacation in July for a few days out of town but I'm quite worried about leaving them with just my mom to feed and look after them for that time as I'm definitely not expecting them to be able to be left alone together by then (as much as I'd like them to be able to co-exist by then). Just hoping for more progress I suppose.
"Hello! I was hoping to provide an update before I traveled but I was much too busy." - Hi, understandable and that is ok.

" I've ended up flying home a few days early due to an impending blizzard at home." - Oh my. Blizzard. YIKES!!!

"I don't have much new but I hope minor progress is still being made. Here are some of the things that I've seen/have happened from the best of my memory." - Ok, let's take a look.

"Things with Sapphire have been mostly the same." - Ok, that is fine.

" She typically just stays upstairs but she is still coming downstairs or at least to the stairs every now and then." - Great (now and then).

"I've started again to feed the cats their wet food close together (maybe five feet apart) upstairs without a barrier. It seems to be going fine." - GREAT!!!

" Both the cats eat their food with no hissing or growling or excitement." - FANTASTIC!!! Positive Association and Positive Encounter!! GREAT!!!

" Tonight after I got home from the airport was a good example. They ate, Fluffy walked back into my room and started licking his paws and Sapphire walked further into her room and did the same. After a minute or two Fluffy went downstairs on his own without paying much attention to Sapphire in her room." - PERFECT!!!!!! :yess: :hyper: :clap2:

"I was told that both of the cats were good while I was away," - Great

" though Fluffy did try and pounce on Sapphire once while she was in her room but failed. Unfortunately I don't have any more details." - Ok, not surprising. BUT it couldn't have been that bad since after you came home they ate near there very close AND behaved!!! So not an issue.

"Sapphire came to the stairs tonight and came about half way down for treats" - GREAT!!

" and Fluffy was quite excited." - Expected

" He probably had a bit more energy than is ideal as he was quite playful after dinner and was running around downstairs playing with all their toys." - Awwwww, he was happy to see you, have you back.

" While Sapphire was on the stairs Fluffy sort of jumped up and was fast pawing through the bannister and Sapphire was pawing back hissing frantically the whole time before running back upstairs to have a snack." - Ok.

" Fluffy seemed worked up and was just making some huffing and puffing type sounds while they were batting eachother through the bannister and after Sapphire ran upstairs it took a few minutes for him to calm down. " - OK but if he was fine after a few minutes that is fine. How was she after it?

"I wish I had gotten it on video but I wasn't thinking fast enough to do so. " - Understandable. Not an issue.

Video - So good!!! Fluffy LOVES you!!! Awwwww, SO SWEET!!!! He was great (wants to play with his sister), she looked great, relaxed. Fantastic. Those are cats that are doing well and will be even better in time!!! Terrific!!!!

"I'm trying to act less stressed when things are happening but I always seem to find a way to add more stress." - So you are saying you are a normal human....................................

" I'm currently thinking about taking a vacation in July for a few days out of town" - GREAT!!! You DESERVE it!!

" but I'm quite worried about leaving them with just my mom to feed and look after them for that time" - I wouldn't worry abut that.

"as I'm definitely not expecting them to be able to be left alone together by then (as much as I'd like them to be able to co-exist by then)." - We'll see but either way they would be fine AND it would be good for you.

" Just hoping for more progress I suppose." - There will be more progress. I would plan that vacation and enjoy it!!!

Welcome back. Stay warm!!! Keep up the great work and try to rest up and enjoy the cats!!!
 
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Graham18

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"Hello! I was hoping to provide an update before I traveled but I was much too busy." - Hi, understandable and that is ok.

" I've ended up flying home a few days early due to an impending blizzard at home." - Oh my. Blizzard. YIKES!!!

"I don't have much new but I hope minor progress is still being made. Here are some of the things that I've seen/have happened from the best of my memory." - Ok, let's take a look.

"Things with Sapphire have been mostly the same." - Ok, that is fine.

" She typically just stays upstairs but she is still coming downstairs or at least to the stairs every now and then." - Great (now and then).

"I've started again to feed the cats their wet food close together (maybe five feet apart) upstairs without a barrier. It seems to be going fine." - GREAT!!!

" Both the cats eat their food with no hissing or growling or excitement." - FANTASTIC!!! Positive Association and Positive Encounter!! GREAT!!!

" Tonight after I got home from the airport was a good example. They ate, Fluffy walked back into my room and started licking his paws and Sapphire walked further into her room and did the same. After a minute or two Fluffy went downstairs on his own without paying much attention to Sapphire in her room." - PERFECT!!!!!! :yess: :hyper: :clap2:

"I was told that both of the cats were good while I was away," - Great

" though Fluffy did try and pounce on Sapphire once while she was in her room but failed. Unfortunately I don't have any more details." - Ok, not surprising. BUT it couldn't have been that bad since after you came home they ate near there very close AND behaved!!! So not an issue.

"Sapphire came to the stairs tonight and came about half way down for treats" - GREAT!!

" and Fluffy was quite excited." - Expected

" He probably had a bit more energy than is ideal as he was quite playful after dinner and was running around downstairs playing with all their toys." - Awwwww, he was happy to see you, have you back.

" While Sapphire was on the stairs Fluffy sort of jumped up and was fast pawing through the bannister and Sapphire was pawing back hissing frantically the whole time before running back upstairs to have a snack." - Ok.

" Fluffy seemed worked up and was just making some huffing and puffing type sounds while they were batting eachother through the bannister and after Sapphire ran upstairs it took a few minutes for him to calm down. " - OK but if he was fine after a few minutes that is fine. How was she after it?

"I wish I had gotten it on video but I wasn't thinking fast enough to do so. " - Understandable. Not an issue.

Video - So good!!! Fluffy LOVES you!!! Awwwww, SO SWEET!!!! He was great (wants to play with his sister), she looked great, relaxed. Fantastic. Those are cats that are doing well and will be even better in time!!! Terrific!!!!

"I'm trying to act less stressed when things are happening but I always seem to find a way to add more stress." - So you are saying you are a normal human....................................

" I'm currently thinking about taking a vacation in July for a few days out of town" - GREAT!!! You DESERVE it!!

" but I'm quite worried about leaving them with just my mom to feed and look after them for that time" - I wouldn't worry abut that.

"as I'm definitely not expecting them to be able to be left alone together by then (as much as I'd like them to be able to co-exist by then)." - We'll see but either way they would be fine AND it would be good for you.

" Just hoping for more progress I suppose." - There will be more progress. I would plan that vacation and enjoy it!!!

Welcome back. Stay warm!!! Keep up the great work and try to rest up and enjoy the cats!!!
Checking in again :)
Still not much to report and everything is been going pretty much the same as always.

Dinners together are going fine. They'll eat together a few feet apart with no issues and then Fluffy will usually completely ignore Sapphire while she's finishing and he goes right downstairs. Right after eating is the only time he seems to ignore her. If she comes to the stairs after he's gone down, he acts as if he's never seen her before and gets so excited.

Sapphire still comes to the stairs and sits up at the top of the stairs and watches Fluffy downstairs. Sometimes she'll come a bit further down and growl. On Monday evening she actually came all the way down while Fluffy was watching a rabbit out the window and she started walking towards the kitchen. As she made her way back he noticed her and launched himself off the couch but I caught him on the ground before he could chase her and she bolted upstairs hissing hysterically the whole time but didn't end up hiding.

Here is a picture of them eating together and a video I took a few days ago which is mostly just Sapphire growling at fluffy from the stairs.

20220415_193549.jpg


 

calicosrspecial

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Checking in again :)
Still not much to report and everything is been going pretty much the same as always.

Dinners together are going fine. They'll eat together a few feet apart with no issues and then Fluffy will usually completely ignore Sapphire while she's finishing and he goes right downstairs. Right after eating is the only time he seems to ignore her. If she comes to the stairs after he's gone down, he acts as if he's never seen her before and gets so excited.

Sapphire still comes to the stairs and sits up at the top of the stairs and watches Fluffy downstairs. Sometimes she'll come a bit further down and growl. On Monday evening she actually came all the way down while Fluffy was watching a rabbit out the window and she started walking towards the kitchen. As she made her way back he noticed her and launched himself off the couch but I caught him on the ground before he could chase her and she bolted upstairs hissing hysterically the whole time but didn't end up hiding.

Here is a picture of them eating together and a video I took a few days ago which is mostly just Sapphire growling at fluffy from the stairs.

View attachment 417637

Scrolling down to reply I see the amazing picture. AWESOME!!!! :)

"Checking in again :)" - Great

"Still not much to report and everything is been going pretty much the same as always." - Ok, as long as it is not going backward that is good.

"Dinners together are going fine. They'll eat together a few feet apart with no issues" - WOW!!! GREAT!!!

" and then Fluffy will usually completely ignore Sapphire while she's finishing and he goes right downstairs." - WOW!!!! AMAZING!!! Yep, they are going to be fine. :) He is accepting her so everything he does is all play. Or wanting to play.

"Right after eating is the only time he seems to ignore her." - Hahahahaha. Well, I'll take that. Also, it is common for a cat to groom then sleep/relax after eating.

" If she comes to the stairs after he's gone down, he acts as if he's never seen her before and gets so excited." - Awwwwww, so he wants to then play. Silly cat.

"Sapphire still comes to the stairs and sits up at the top of the stairs and watches Fluffy downstairs." - Good

" Sometimes she'll come a bit further down and growl." - Ok, fine.

I want to tell a story. So a feral of mine would growl at me EVERY TIME I would come to feed her. I would just be like "whatever" and kneeled down and feed her and we were fine. My point is, some cats just do that. It is almost a routine.

"On Monday evening she actually came all the way down while Fluffy was watching a rabbit out the window and she started walking towards the kitchen." - GREAT!!!!

"As she made her way back he noticed her and launched himself off the couch " - Yep because a sister is more fun than watching a rabbit you can get to.....................

"but I caught him on the ground before he could chase her " - Oh my

"and she bolted upstairs hissing hysterically the whole time" - Yep

" but didn't end up hiding." - GREAT!!!!

How did she act after then? Did she come to the stairs the following days?

"Here is a picture of them eating together " - PERFECT!!! They are totally fine.

"and a video I took a few days ago which is mostly just Sapphire growling at fluffy from the stairs." - Hahahaha, ok, let's see.

Video - The video is GREAT!!! She looks great (body language). He just wants to play with her, be with her. His body language is great. She is fantastic. Holds her ground. He tries to get through and she isn't phased. He is so good but frustrated. They are like 98% of the way there. We just need that last nit which will happen at some point. I am seeing really great things (and reading them).

Keep up the great work!!! It is working!!!
 
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Graham18

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Scrolling down to reply I see the amazing picture. AWESOME!!!! :)

"Checking in again :)" - Great

"Still not much to report and everything is been going pretty much the same as always." - Ok, as long as it is not going backward that is good.

"Dinners together are going fine. They'll eat together a few feet apart with no issues" - WOW!!! GREAT!!!

" and then Fluffy will usually completely ignore Sapphire while she's finishing and he goes right downstairs." - WOW!!!! AMAZING!!! Yep, they are going to be fine. :) He is accepting her so everything he does is all play. Or wanting to play.

"Right after eating is the only time he seems to ignore her." - Hahahahaha. Well, I'll take that. Also, it is common for a cat to groom then sleep/relax after eating.

" If she comes to the stairs after he's gone down, he acts as if he's never seen her before and gets so excited." - Awwwwww, so he wants to then play. Silly cat.

"Sapphire still comes to the stairs and sits up at the top of the stairs and watches Fluffy downstairs." - Good

" Sometimes she'll come a bit further down and growl." - Ok, fine.

I want to tell a story. So a feral of mine would growl at me EVERY TIME I would come to feed her. I would just be like "whatever" and kneeled down and feed her and we were fine. My point is, some cats just do that. It is almost a routine.

"On Monday evening she actually came all the way down while Fluffy was watching a rabbit out the window and she started walking towards the kitchen." - GREAT!!!!

"As she made her way back he noticed her and launched himself off the couch " - Yep because a sister is more fun than watching a rabbit you can get to.....................

"but I caught him on the ground before he could chase her " - Oh my

"and she bolted upstairs hissing hysterically the whole time" - Yep

" but didn't end up hiding." - GREAT!!!!

How did she act after then? Did she come to the stairs the following days?

"Here is a picture of them eating together " - PERFECT!!! They are totally fine.

"and a video I took a few days ago which is mostly just Sapphire growling at fluffy from the stairs." - Hahahaha, ok, let's see.

Video - The video is GREAT!!! She looks great (body language). He just wants to play with her, be with her. His body language is great. She is fantastic. Holds her ground. He tries to get through and she isn't phased. He is so good but frustrated. They are like 98% of the way there. We just need that last nit which will happen at some point. I am seeing really great things (and reading them).

Keep up the great work!!! It is working!!!
Sapphire was good the following after he jumped off the couch towards her, I did forget to mention that. She's still been coming to see him. To be fair she rarely comes down from the top of the stairs. Sometimes she'll come about half way down and the odd time here and there she'll come all the way down to the main floor though that is still quite rare until after fluffy has gone to bed. She seems to enjoy just sitting and watching him from the top of the stairs where she can run back to her room if she feels like it.

He wants to play so bad and gets so excited whenever he sees her watching him. I try and play with him while she's watching or after she's gone away so that he doesn't get overly disappointed that he didn't get play time. He's usually in quite a playful mood after he sees her anyways. Sometimes a little too playful and he needs a bit to wind down.
 

calicosrspecial

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Sapphire was good the following after he jumped off the couch towards her, I did forget to mention that. She's still been coming to see him. To be fair she rarely comes down from the top of the stairs. Sometimes she'll come about half way down and the odd time here and there she'll come all the way down to the main floor though that is still quite rare until after fluffy has gone to bed. She seems to enjoy just sitting and watching him from the top of the stairs where she can run back to her room if she feels like it.

He wants to play so bad and gets so excited whenever he sees her watching him. I try and play with him while she's watching or after she's gone away so that he doesn't get overly disappointed that he didn't get play time. He's usually in quite a playful mood after he sees her anyways. Sometimes a little too playful and he needs a bit to wind down.
"Sapphire was good the following after he jumped off the couch towards her, I did forget to mention that." - Great!! THat is so important and such a great sign of how they really are.

" She's still been coming to see him. " - Great

"To be fair she rarely comes down from the top of the stairs. " - That is fine.

"Sometimes she'll come about half way down " - Great

"and the odd time here and there she'll come all the way down to the main floor though that is still quite rare" - Fantasic. If it happens once it can happen again and again.

" until after fluffy has gone to bed." - Yes, understandable and totally fine.

" She seems to enjoy just sitting and watching him from the top of the stairs where she can run back to her room if she feels like it." - :) That is fine.

"He wants to play so bad and gets so excited whenever he sees her watching him." - I know. :/ But I think he will get his chance in time.

" I try and play with him while she's watching or after she's gone away so that he doesn't get overly disappointed that he didn't get play time." - Great

" He's usually in quite a playful mood after he sees her anyways." - Yes

" Sometimes a little too playful and he needs a bit to wind down. " - Hahahaha, yep. Young boys..............................

Terrific, great job!!
 
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Graham18

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"Sapphire was good the following after he jumped off the couch towards her, I did forget to mention that." - Great!! THat is so important and such a great sign of how they really are.

" She's still been coming to see him. " - Great

"To be fair she rarely comes down from the top of the stairs. " - That is fine.

"Sometimes she'll come about half way down " - Great

"and the odd time here and there she'll come all the way down to the main floor though that is still quite rare" - Fantasic. If it happens once it can happen again and again.

" until after fluffy has gone to bed." - Yes, understandable and totally fine.

" She seems to enjoy just sitting and watching him from the top of the stairs where she can run back to her room if she feels like it." - :) That is fine.

"He wants to play so bad and gets so excited whenever he sees her watching him." - I know. :/ But I think he will get his chance in time.

" I try and play with him while she's watching or after she's gone away so that he doesn't get overly disappointed that he didn't get play time." - Great

" He's usually in quite a playful mood after he sees her anyways." - Yes

" Sometimes a little too playful and he needs a bit to wind down. " - Hahahaha, yep. Young boys..............................

Terrific, great job!!
Since I don't have anything new and exciting to update or any new videos, I just wanted to list off my current routine to make sure there is nothing that I am missing...

During the week..
I feed Sapphire first upstairs in her room and while she is eating I let Fluffy out downstairs and feed him downstairs. He stays out with me downstairs from about 7am to 7:45 before going back in his room or upstairs to my room when I go to work. Sapphire usually stays upstairs in the mornings after she eats.
In the afternoon my mom comes over and let's Fluffy out and plays with him usually from around 2 to 4:30/5 while Sapphire is napping.
I get home from work around 6:30 and I spend time with Sapphire for an hour or so. At 7:30 I feed them wet food together. They now eat about two feet apart and when they are both done there's a bit of grooming at Fluffy will usually just turn and go downstairs on his own.
Now sometimes Sapphire will sit at the top of the stairs watching Fluffy while he gets excited and tries to go to her. Other times she won't come at all. A few times I've managed to coax her down further with some treats but it's not often. Fluffy usually just chirps and meows away while Sapphire just sits and stares at him. Once he's gone to bed at about 8:45 she usually comes right down and wants to play or cuddle.

Weekends are mostly the same. The only difference is in the morning when I let Fluffy stat out downstairs for about two hours before I put him back in his room to nap. I usually leave a gate up at the bottom of the stairs on weekend mornings just to keep Fluffy from sneaking upstairs. Sapphire will sometimes come and watch him but it's very hit or miss.

Is there anything I'm doing wrong or not doing that I should be?
 

calicosrspecial

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Since I don't have anything new and exciting to update or any new videos, I just wanted to list off my current routine to make sure there is nothing that I am missing...

During the week..
I feed Sapphire first upstairs in her room and while she is eating I let Fluffy out downstairs and feed him downstairs. He stays out with me downstairs from about 7am to 7:45 before going back in his room or upstairs to my room when I go to work. Sapphire usually stays upstairs in the mornings after she eats.
In the afternoon my mom comes over and let's Fluffy out and plays with him usually from around 2 to 4:30/5 while Sapphire is napping.
I get home from work around 6:30 and I spend time with Sapphire for an hour or so. At 7:30 I feed them wet food together. They now eat about two feet apart and when they are both done there's a bit of grooming at Fluffy will usually just turn and go downstairs on his own.
Now sometimes Sapphire will sit at the top of the stairs watching Fluffy while he gets excited and tries to go to her. Other times she won't come at all. A few times I've managed to coax her down further with some treats but it's not often. Fluffy usually just chirps and meows away while Sapphire just sits and stares at him. Once he's gone to bed at about 8:45 she usually comes right down and wants to play or cuddle.

Weekends are mostly the same. The only difference is in the morning when I let Fluffy stat out downstairs for about two hours before I put him back in his room to nap. I usually leave a gate up at the bottom of the stairs on weekend mornings just to keep Fluffy from sneaking upstairs. Sapphire will sometimes come and watch him but it's very hit or miss.

Is there anything I'm doing wrong or not doing that I should be?
"Since I don't have anything new and exciting to update or any new videos, I just wanted to list off my current routine to make sure there is nothing that I am missing..." - Great. The fact there is no "excitement" is a good thing. ;)

During the week..
"I feed Sapphire first upstairs in her room and while she is eating I let Fluffy out downstairs and feed him downstairs. He stays out with me downstairs from about 7am to 7:45 before going back in his room or upstairs to my room when I go to work. Sapphire usually stays upstairs in the mornings after she eats." - Great

"In the afternoon my mom comes over and let's Fluffy out and plays with him usually from around 2 to 4:30/5 while Sapphire is napping." - Awwwww, Fluffy is spoiled. I LOVE it!!! :)

"I get home from work around 6:30" - Oh my you work hard.

" and I spend time with Sapphire for an hour or so." - GREAT!!!

" At 7:30 I feed them wet food together." - Perfect

" They now eat about two feet apart" - Wow!!! FANTASTIC!!!!

" and when they are both done there's a bit of grooming at Fluffy" - I assume growling?

" will usually just turn and go downstairs on his own." - LOVE his reaction!!! PERFECT!!!

"Now sometimes Sapphire will sit at the top of the stairs watching Fluffy while he gets excited and tries to go to her. " - Awwwwwww. Becoming a routine it seems. That is fine.

"Other times she won't come at all. " - Ok. Anything to suggest a reason other than she doesn't want to?

"A few times I've managed to coax her down further with some treats but it's not often." - Ok. I would jsut let her do her thing and make her make the choice.

" Fluffy usually just chirps and meows away while Sapphire just sits and stares at him." - Awwwwwwww

"Once he's gone to bed at about 8:45 she usually comes right down and wants to play or cuddle." - Great. So I think that desire (whether it is you or you and downstairs) is great. That will help her get over any apprehension she may have (in time).

"Weekends are mostly the same. The only difference is in the morning when I let Fluffy stat out downstairs for about two hours before I put him back in his room to nap. I usually leave a gate up at the bottom of the stairs on weekend mornings just to keep Fluffy from sneaking upstairs." - Great

" Sapphire will sometimes come and watch him but it's very hit or miss." - Yes. But given her routine the other 5 days is different it is not something I am bothered by AND am encouraged it is "hit" at times.

"Is there anything I'm doing wrong or not doing that I should be? " - You are doing great. It is not you, it is Sapphire. Getting her to choose you, downstairs over any concern about Fluffy. It will happen in time. A lot of positives, I am not reading anything negative (even the growling he ignores). She'll realize that he only wants to play (at some point).

You are doing great. Just keep it up, be "normal, relaxed, let Sapphire "do her thing". Keep giving her love, play time, etc. She will come around. She is doing great.

I am really happy with this update. The progress is slower than you like but they are getting there. I love it!! GREAT JOB!!!
 
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Graham18

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"Since I don't have anything new and exciting to update or any new videos, I just wanted to list off my current routine to make sure there is nothing that I am missing..." - Great. The fact there is no "excitement" is a good thing. ;)

During the week..
"I feed Sapphire first upstairs in her room and while she is eating I let Fluffy out downstairs and feed him downstairs. He stays out with me downstairs from about 7am to 7:45 before going back in his room or upstairs to my room when I go to work. Sapphire usually stays upstairs in the mornings after she eats." - Great

"In the afternoon my mom comes over and let's Fluffy out and plays with him usually from around 2 to 4:30/5 while Sapphire is napping." - Awwwww, Fluffy is spoiled. I LOVE it!!! :)

"I get home from work around 6:30" - Oh my you work hard.

" and I spend time with Sapphire for an hour or so." - GREAT!!!

" At 7:30 I feed them wet food together." - Perfect

" They now eat about two feet apart" - Wow!!! FANTASTIC!!!!

" and when they are both done there's a bit of grooming at Fluffy" - I assume growling?

" will usually just turn and go downstairs on his own." - LOVE his reaction!!! PERFECT!!!

"Now sometimes Sapphire will sit at the top of the stairs watching Fluffy while he gets excited and tries to go to her. " - Awwwwwww. Becoming a routine it seems. That is fine.

"Other times she won't come at all. " - Ok. Anything to suggest a reason other than she doesn't want to?

"A few times I've managed to coax her down further with some treats but it's not often." - Ok. I would jsut let her do her thing and make her make the choice.

" Fluffy usually just chirps and meows away while Sapphire just sits and stares at him." - Awwwwwwww

"Once he's gone to bed at about 8:45 she usually comes right down and wants to play or cuddle." - Great. So I think that desire (whether it is you or you and downstairs) is great. That will help her get over any apprehension she may have (in time).

"Weekends are mostly the same. The only difference is in the morning when I let Fluffy stat out downstairs for about two hours before I put him back in his room to nap. I usually leave a gate up at the bottom of the stairs on weekend mornings just to keep Fluffy from sneaking upstairs." - Great

" Sapphire will sometimes come and watch him but it's very hit or miss." - Yes. But given her routine the other 5 days is different it is not something I am bothered by AND am encouraged it is "hit" at times.

"Is there anything I'm doing wrong or not doing that I should be? " - You are doing great. It is not you, it is Sapphire. Getting her to choose you, downstairs over any concern about Fluffy. It will happen in time. A lot of positives, I am not reading anything negative (even the growling he ignores). She'll realize that he only wants to play (at some point).

You are doing great. Just keep it up, be "normal, relaxed, let Sapphire "do her thing". Keep giving her love, play time, etc. She will come around. She is doing great.

I am really happy with this update. The progress is slower than you like but they are getting there. I love it!! GREAT JOB!!!
" and when they are both done there's a bit of grooming at Fluffy" - I assume growling?

I actually don't know what my intended sentence was here haha. No growling. They are perfectly content after they've eaten beside eachother. I think what I meant to say was Sapphire will step back a bit into her room and start grooming herself and fluffy will sometimes just sit and groom in the hall for a minute or two before he goes downstairs or he sometimes goes right away. So far there hasn't been a single hiss or growl or overly excited Fluffy at dinner time.
 
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