Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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" and when they are both done there's a bit of grooming at Fluffy" - I assume growling?

I actually don't know what my intended sentence was here haha. No growling. They are perfectly content after they've eaten beside eachother. I think what I meant to say was Sapphire will step back a bit into her room and start grooming herself and fluffy will sometimes just sit and groom in the hall for a minute or two before he goes downstairs or he sometimes goes right away. So far there hasn't been a single hiss or growl or overly excited Fluffy at dinner time.
Hahahahaha, ok.

"No growling. " - GREAT!!!!

"They are perfectly content after they've eaten beside eachother." - AMAZING!!! Even better!!!

" I think what I meant to say was Sapphire will step back a bit into her room and start grooming herself and fluffy will sometimes just sit and groom in the hall for a minute or two before he goes downstairs or he sometimes goes right away." - PERFECT!!!!

" So far there hasn't been a single hiss or growl or overly excited Fluffy at dinner time." - WOW!!! Tells me everything. They are just fine!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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Hahahahaha, ok.

"No growling. " - GREAT!!!!

"They are perfectly content after they've eaten beside eachother." - AMAZING!!! Even better!!!

" I think what I meant to say was Sapphire will step back a bit into her room and start grooming herself and fluffy will sometimes just sit and groom in the hall for a minute or two before he goes downstairs or he sometimes goes right away." - PERFECT!!!!

" So far there hasn't been a single hiss or growl or overly excited Fluffy at dinner time." - WOW!!! Tells me everything. They are just fine!!! :)
Sapphire has started once again coming to the stairs usually several times a night. I can also easily get her to come closer to the bottom now using a treat. The bannister acts as a nice barrier so that Sapphire can peak through and watch Fluffy and Fluffy can kind of reach up and try and sniff her or they can paw at eachother. Usually Fluffy sniffs, Sapphire hisses or growls, and Fluffy goes down and sits and watches. They've had a few pawing matches so far and sometimes after her frantic hissing and growling and swatting Sapphire will run upstairs and sometimes she sits and stays for a bit.

Tonight they really got into whacking eachothers paws back and forth twice so I calmly pulled Fluffy back down to the floor and she ran upstairs. Very surprising to me was that Fluffy hissed at her when he was back down on the ground before walking off sulking. I'm not sure if he was upset or he was just extra worked up (I think I've mentioned he hisses at his toys when he's really into playing with them). I went upstairs and Sapphire seemed fine and we even played for a bit.

Here are some videos I took of them eating together and some minor interaction through the stairs (I didn't get any of the swatting)
 

calicosrspecial

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Sapphire has started once again coming to the stairs usually several times a night. I can also easily get her to come closer to the bottom now using a treat. The bannister acts as a nice barrier so that Sapphire can peak through and watch Fluffy and Fluffy can kind of reach up and try and sniff her or they can paw at eachother. Usually Fluffy sniffs, Sapphire hisses or growls, and Fluffy goes down and sits and watches. They've had a few pawing matches so far and sometimes after her frantic hissing and growling and swatting Sapphire will run upstairs and sometimes she sits and stays for a bit.

Tonight they really got into whacking eachothers paws back and forth twice so I calmly pulled Fluffy back down to the floor and she ran upstairs. Very surprising to me was that Fluffy hissed at her when he was back down on the ground before walking off sulking. I'm not sure if he was upset or he was just extra worked up (I think I've mentioned he hisses at his toys when he's really into playing with them). I went upstairs and Sapphire seemed fine and we even played for a bit.

Here are some videos I took of them eating together and some minor interaction through the stairs (I didn't get any of the swatting)
"Sapphire has started once again coming to the stairs usually several times a night." - GREAT!!!

" I can also easily get her to come closer to the bottom now using a treat. " - FANTASTIC!!!

""The bannister acts as a nice barrier so that Sapphire can peak through and watch Fluffy and Fluffy can kind of reach up and try and sniff her or they can paw at eachother." - Yes

" Usually Fluffy sniffs," - Great

" Sapphire hisses or growls," - Yep

" and Fluffy goes down and sits and watches." - Awwwwwwwwww

" They've had a few pawing matches so far and sometimes after her frantic hissing and growling and swatting Sapphire will run upstairs and sometimes she sits and stays for a bit." - Ok, that sounds fine.

"Tonight they really got into whacking eachothers paws back and forth twice" - Ok

" so I calmly pulled Fluffy back down to the floor" - Good job, just be careful you don't get hurt accidentally.

"and she ran upstairs." - Ok. How did she act after?

" Very surprising to me was that Fluffy hissed at her when he was back down on the ground before walking off sulking." - Well, he does like to hiss. AND I can't blame him for being frustrated. BUT if that is the worst he did that is good. Poor guy, walked away "sulking". :(

" I'm not sure if he was upset or he was just extra worked up (I think I've mentioned he hisses at his toys when he's really into playing with them). " - Tough to know but I guess he is just so frustrated. :( BUT he didn't lash out etc. So I would give him an A!!!

"I went upstairs and Sapphire seemed fine and we even played for a bit. " - THAT is the key. She is the key to all this. If she handles it well then it was fine.

Sounds like really good progress. A good test and they both passed with flying colors!!!

Video 1 - MY GOODNESS ARE THEY ADORABLE!!!!! Perfect video!! He is so good, she is focused on the food and he moves and she doesn't flinch. PERFECT!!!

Video 2 - Perfect!!! She looks so much more confident, comfortable. And he is so good. He wants to play. I think she is starting to trust him and understand him.

FANTASTIC!!!! I think this is the best I have ever seen!!! Keep up the great work!!! She is coming around!!! :) Just don't force it, let her go at her pace.

GREAT JOB!!!! :)
 

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**note I didn't read all the way through so sorry if I missed something.

Tip 1: tire kitten out before face to face intros. Maybe that means bringing him out, let him explore/play and then he naps somewhere in the house and fluffy comes out.

Tip 2: bring resident cat something that smells like new cat. Feed resident cat treats.

Tip 3:. Is there space under your door? Have new cat "feed" treats to resident cat under the door. This made Nobel love Magnus. He growled while chewing at first the weirdo. Work up to tossing kibbles or treats to both cats with baby gate. I actually bought a separate type of kitten food to use as treats during intros for this reason. A high reward treat like a Churu in a bowl can also work (allow for lots of separation and distance from the gate and ensure cats don't have to turn their backs to one another while eating)

To build up to Tip 3 you might have to start feeding them slowly closer together. Or start with taking a blanket that smells like new cat and putting it next to resident cats food.

Tip 4: play with them nearby the other without visual. If space between door and floor build up to using a paper straw under the door so each playing with each other. My cats still play like this after full integration.

Tip 5: catnip, calming music (especially one with cats purring in it - try YouTube music) and relaxation hormones of some sort.
 

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Just watched the videos too. That's amazing progress really!! You should be proud! You're all doing excellently.

With Sapphire you just described Nobel being introduced to any new cat. Time and patience patience patience. You have a slow to warm cat. Just go at her pace and keep rolling back as needed. I really look forward to seeing your progress.

Ps. Some kittens hiss at toys. Too cute! He might always do that.
 
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I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now. Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats. The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs. She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat. Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again, but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch. Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again.

Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened. I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine. Later on they ate dinner together as usual, and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about.
When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire.

The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her.

I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything.
 

calicosrspecial

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I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now. Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats. The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs. She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat. Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again, but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch. Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again.

Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened. I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine. Later on they ate dinner together as usual, and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about.
When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire.

The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her.

I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything.
"I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats." - Fantastic

" The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs." - Ok

" She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat." - Ok

" Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. " - Ok

"On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again," - Great

" but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch." - Ok

" Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again." - Probably. But they didn't fight, correct?

"Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother" - Great

" and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. " - Ok. I am guessing play?

"He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened." - Ok

How she acts after that will be a good "tell".

" I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine." - WOW!!! GREAT!!! That is what I would hope to see.

" Later on they ate dinner together as usual," - PERFECT!!!!

" and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed." - Great

Well, that is amazing and better than I expected and hoped. So all these "close calls" and she is fine. So those "close calls" actually can build trust and confidence. Terrific.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

Video - Well, I think we should try to distract before they start pawing. SO Hang out with him on the other side of the room, etc. Just to try to make it calm, positive etc.

"As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about." - Ok, let's see

"When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire." - Yes, excitement, play time.

"The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her." - Ok, interesting. So rubbing is marking, getting his scent on things and "owning" it. So he could feel a bit insecure so needs to "own" more things. So the chasing her down there might be some territorial defensiveness. Or it could just be that he is excited about her and rubs to calm himself, etc. Try to keep playing with him there. Let's keep an eye on that.

"I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything." - They do, they are interesting. Nothing really that is concerning. I do what to keep an eye on his behavior downstairs (which is different than upstairs).

Overall, I would say this is really positive (I LOVE how she has rebounded from his antics). She seems more confident, more trusting but still not totally there yet. But the more she is "tested" and realizes he isn't really a threat the better she will get.

I think we are getting there. It is not smooth but a lot of positives. Some things that need to improve but I suspect they will. Just keep playing with him, keep it positive with them (using food) or just hanging out. Distract as needed to keep it as positive as possible. Keep building on the positives upstairs. I think you are totally on track. Keep up the great work.
 
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"I was starting to feel like there was maybe a bit of progress but I'm a little unsure now." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire was consistently coming to the stairs and come quite far down for treats." - Fantastic

" The usual was taking place. Fluffy would jump up to see her and she would hiss and he'd back down, or they would start whacking eachother and Sapphire would hiss and run back upstairs." - Ok

" She would usually come back down after a few minutes and the hissing and/or swatting would repeat." - Ok

" Sunday night, while Fluffy was laying on the window perch Sapphire came right downstairs on her own and started towards the couch. Once Fluffy saw her, he launched himself off the couch like a rocket. Sapphire took off upstairs and I caught Fluffy before he could chase her. " - Ok

"On Tuesday morning Sapphire came right downstairs again," - Great

" but this time Fluffy noticed her before she could get very far and she took off as soon as he launched himself off the couch." - Ok

" Since then she hasn't been coming to the stairs nearly as much so I'm guessing she's scared again." - Probably. But they didn't fight, correct?

"Today, my fiance was giving them treats together this afternoon while I was at work upstairs in Sapphires room and they were eating almost nose to nose and were sniffing eachother" - Great

" and then out of nowhere with no warning Fluffy jumped on her and started to chase her around the room. " - Ok. I am guessing play?

"He got a time out after and I wasn't there to see so I don't know exactly what happened." - Ok

How she acts after that will be a good "tell".

" I was told Sapphire was quite hissy and growly afterwards for a few minutes then was fine." - WOW!!! GREAT!!! That is what I would hope to see.

" Later on they ate dinner together as usual," - PERFECT!!!!

" and Sapphire came to the stairs once where they proceeded to hit eachother a few times before she ran upstairs to her bed." - Great

Well, that is amazing and better than I expected and hoped. So all these "close calls" and she is fine. So those "close calls" actually can build trust and confidence. Terrific.

Here is a short video of them at the stairs.
Sapphire and Fluffy May 10/22

Video - Well, I think we should try to distract before they start pawing. SO Hang out with him on the other side of the room, etc. Just to try to make it calm, positive etc.

"As I'm still not super knowledgeable about cat behaviour, here's two things I notice that I'm unsure about." - Ok, let's see

"When Fluffy sees Sapphire on the stairs he starts to chatter like most cats when they see birds outside. He doesn't actually do this when he sees birds, only when he sees Sapphire." - Yes, excitement, play time.

"The second, is when Fluffy sees her and jumps off the couch towards the stairs, he will start rubbing his face on the bannister, against the stairs, and against the aquarium. He doesn't do this at any other time, only when he sees her." - Ok, interesting. So rubbing is marking, getting his scent on things and "owning" it. So he could feel a bit insecure so needs to "own" more things. So the chasing her down there might be some territorial defensiveness. Or it could just be that he is excited about her and rubs to calm himself, etc. Try to keep playing with him there. Let's keep an eye on that.

"I'm completely unsure if either of these things mean anything." - They do, they are interesting. Nothing really that is concerning. I do what to keep an eye on his behavior downstairs (which is different than upstairs).

Overall, I would say this is really positive (I LOVE how she has rebounded from his antics). She seems more confident, more trusting but still not totally there yet. But the more she is "tested" and realizes he isn't really a threat the better she will get.

I think we are getting there. It is not smooth but a lot of positives. Some things that need to improve but I suspect they will. Just keep playing with him, keep it positive with them (using food) or just hanging out. Distract as needed to keep it as positive as possible. Keep building on the positives upstairs. I think you are totally on track. Keep up the great work.
I will keep an eye on it for sure. He's quite happy downstairs so I don't know if he's insecure about it but it could be. We play quite a lot and he loves to just run around having fun downstairs. Sometimes he also starts rubbing on things when he thinks he's going to get treats so it could possibly be excitement as well. No matter what he's doing downstairs, he's constantly checking to see if Sapphire is there and sometimes he'll just run over to the stairs as if he wants to go upstairs and see her. I will keep distracted him with treats as I was doing last night, though he usually doesn't want to go anywhere and hangout besides the base of the stairs (possibly because he knows he'll get treats when she's around). My intent with letting them paw through the stairs was hoping it would let them work things out in a safe way and hoping that Sapphire would eventually reciprocate play with him but I will try to avoid it.

I did try and get a video of him rubbing but last night he didn't do it. Here is the video anyways, however it's quite uneventful.
 

calicosrspecial

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I will keep an eye on it for sure. He's quite happy downstairs so I don't know if he's insecure about it but it could be. We play quite a lot and he loves to just run around having fun downstairs. Sometimes he also starts rubbing on things when he thinks he's going to get treats so it could possibly be excitement as well. No matter what he's doing downstairs, he's constantly checking to see if Sapphire is there and sometimes he'll just run over to the stairs as if he wants to go upstairs and see her. I will keep distracted him with treats as I was doing last night, though he usually doesn't want to go anywhere and hangout besides the base of the stairs (possibly because he knows he'll get treats when she's around). My intent with letting them paw through the stairs was hoping it would let them work things out in a safe way and hoping that Sapphire would eventually reciprocate play with him but I will try to avoid it.

I did try and get a video of him rubbing but last night he didn't do it. Here is the video anyways, however it's quite uneventful.
"I will keep an eye on it for sure." - Good. Cats rub all the time and usually in isolation it is not an issue. So we try to find other clues to let us know if there is something negative.

" He's quite happy downstairs" - Yes

" so I don't know if he's insecure about it but it could be." - In the videos he sure doesn't look insecure

" We play quite a lot and he loves to just run around having fun downstairs." - Yes

" Sometimes he also starts rubbing on things when he thinks he's going to get treats so it could possibly be excitement as well." - Absolutely.

" No matter what he's doing downstairs, he's constantly checking to see if Sapphire is there and sometimes he'll just run over to the stairs as if he wants to go upstairs and see her." - Awwwwwwwwww. I think he gets frustrated at times as he wants to play with her so badly. :/

" I will keep distracted him with treats as I was doing last night," - Great

"though he usually doesn't want to go anywhere and hangout besides the base of the stairs (possibly because he knows he'll get treats when she's around)." - Awwwwwwwwww

" My intent with letting them paw through the stairs was hoping it would let them work things out in a safe way and hoping that Sapphire would eventually reciprocate play with him but I will try to avoid it." - Yes, understand. I think it can just amp up energy and it can go negative. SO far now I would try to avoid it and keep it calm, positive, etc. Not a big deal though as they are doing great.

"I did try and get a video of him rubbing but last night he didn't do it." - Of course he didn't!!! ;)

" Here is the video anyways, however it's quite uneventful. " - Great

Video - Great. He looks great, she looks great. They are ADORABLE!!! He is calm, confident. WANTS to play with her. :/ But it is perfect. Those are cats that are fine fundamentally. I am not seeing signs of "issues". Terrific!!!

GREAT JOB!!! :)
 
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"I will keep an eye on it for sure." - Good. Cats rub all the time and usually in isolation it is not an issue. So we try to find other clues to let us know if there is something negative.

" He's quite happy downstairs" - Yes

" so I don't know if he's insecure about it but it could be." - In the videos he sure doesn't look insecure

" We play quite a lot and he loves to just run around having fun downstairs." - Yes

" Sometimes he also starts rubbing on things when he thinks he's going to get treats so it could possibly be excitement as well." - Absolutely.

" No matter what he's doing downstairs, he's constantly checking to see if Sapphire is there and sometimes he'll just run over to the stairs as if he wants to go upstairs and see her." - Awwwwwwwwww. I think he gets frustrated at times as he wants to play with her so badly. :/

" I will keep distracted him with treats as I was doing last night," - Great

"though he usually doesn't want to go anywhere and hangout besides the base of the stairs (possibly because he knows he'll get treats when she's around)." - Awwwwwwwwww

" My intent with letting them paw through the stairs was hoping it would let them work things out in a safe way and hoping that Sapphire would eventually reciprocate play with him but I will try to avoid it." - Yes, understand. I think it can just amp up energy and it can go negative. SO far now I would try to avoid it and keep it calm, positive, etc. Not a big deal though as they are doing great.

"I did try and get a video of him rubbing but last night he didn't do it." - Of course he didn't!!! ;)

" Here is the video anyways, however it's quite uneventful. " - Great

Video - Great. He looks great, she looks great. They are ADORABLE!!! He is calm, confident. WANTS to play with her. :/ But it is perfect. Those are cats that are fine fundamentally. I am not seeing signs of "issues". Terrific!!!

GREAT JOB!!! :)
Here's another video I took this morning. Nothing special but I got full "Fluffy when he sees Sapphire" . It may be hard to tell but he's also purring for most of the video.
 

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Your family is making real progress! Can you and your SO get them playing/distracted yet? One of you on the stairs and the other on the bottom level with the other cat. Even with something small like the tail of a mousey toy. They might pause to watch the other play which is excellent! It means they are learning what play looks and sounds like to the other cat. Other members broke it down for you, and I'm happy to agree with their statements, so I won't break it down again :)

You say you are new to cat behaviour. Have you watched Jackson Galaxy's videos on How to Introduce a cat? I would also recommend any of his difference between play and fighting videos and general body language videos. (He and I/my vet disagree on tooth brushing and nutrition though 😂!) He's a really wonderful cat behaviouralist. There's finicky things about each individual cat, but generally you learn those things about your cat over time.
 

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Here's another video I took this morning. Nothing special but I got full "Fluffy when he sees Sapphire" . It may be hard to tell but he's also purring for most of the video.
So cute. Sounds like he wants her to come play. She's watching him with a calm demeanor. She feels safe at the top of the stairs. You could provide a treat to each at this time. Or get out toys.
The swatting through the bannister could be "back off" or could be first attempts at play. Could be both! Our boys poked at one another through the gate. Some hissing but generally they were trying to play but saying, "I'm nervous about this!"
 
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Your family is making real progress! Can you and your SO get them playing/distracted yet? One of you on the stairs and the other on the bottom level with the other cat. Even with something small like the tail of a mousey toy. They might pause to watch the other play which is excellent! It means they are learning what play looks and sounds like to the other cat. Other members broke it down for you, and I'm happy to agree with their statements, so I won't break it down again :)

You say you are new to cat behaviour. Have you watched Jackson Galaxy's videos on How to Introduce a cat? I would also recommend any of his difference between play and fighting videos and general body language videos. (He and I/my vet disagree on tooth brushing and nutrition though 😂!) He's a really wonderful cat behaviouralist. There's finicky things about each individual cat, but generally you learn those things about your cat over time.
I have tried to get them playing in the past with little success. I can sometimes distract Fluffy with play but Sapphire isn't a very playful cat in general and she prefers to just sit and watch Fluffy and hiss/growl at him.
I have watched Jackson Galaxy videos before as well. I've never been able to fully determine what they are doing as it happens fast. Basically Fluffy jumps on her/chases her and she screams bloody murder and runs away.
So cute. Sounds like he wants her to come play. She's watching him with a calm demeanor. She feels safe at the top of the stairs. You could provide a treat to each at this time. Or get out toys.
The swatting through the bannister could be "back off" or could be first attempts at play. Could be both! Our boys poked at one another through the gate. Some hissing but generally they were trying to play but saying, "I'm nervous about this!"
I have tried to get them playing in the past with little success. I can sometimes distract Fluffy with play but Sapphire isn't a very playful cat in general and she prefers to just sit and watch Fluffy and hiss/growl at him.
I have watched Jackson Galaxy videos before as well. I've never been able to fully determine what they are doing as it happens fast. Basically Fluffy jumps on her/chases her and she screams bloody murder and runs away.

As they were both rescues, their correct ages have never been fully determined though their vet has guessed that Sapphire (grey and white) is currently about 3 years old and Fluffy is anywhere from 2 to 3 years old. Needless to say he's a quite energetic and playful young boy.
 

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I have tried to get them playing in the past with little success. I can sometimes distract Fluffy with play but Sapphire isn't a very playful cat in general and she prefers to just sit and watch Fluffy and hiss/growl at him.
I have watched Jackson Galaxy videos before as well. I've never been able to fully determine what they are doing as it happens fast. Basically Fluffy jumps on her/chases her and she screams bloody murder and runs away.

I have tried to get them playing in the past with little success. I can sometimes distract Fluffy with play but Sapphire isn't a very playful cat in general and she prefers to just sit and watch Fluffy and hiss/growl at him.
I have watched Jackson Galaxy videos before as well. I've never been able to fully determine what they are doing as it happens fast. Basically Fluffy jumps on her/chases her and she screams bloody murder and runs away.

As they were both rescues, their correct ages have never been fully determined though their vet has guessed that Sapphire (grey and white) is currently about 3 years old and Fluffy is anywhere from 2 to 3 years old. Needless to say he's a quite energetic and playful young boy.
Keep trying with the play. As they become more comfortable, they will begin to play in front of one another. It doesn't need to be big! A small movement after a string toy or just taking time.to watch the toy then watch each other is excellent.

Not saying to loose the gate for the play either...just playing with them as they are. You want to try and get them to the point of not hyper-focused on one another before letting them be "loose" together.
Will Sapphire come down if you are sitting on the stairs? Then your SO could get fluffy playing and you could even just offer her some catnip or something at first. If you really struggle to get her to play, I did find that some recycled fur toys from Etsy were very encouraging. Most cats will play something as they calm down and settle. It's about finding the "what". In the meantime, being shown different toys or "toys" is good enrichment too :)
 

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Here's another video I took this morning. Nothing special but I got full "Fluffy when he sees Sapphire" . It may be hard to tell but he's also purring for most of the video.
Video - Awwwwwwww, he SO WANTS to play with her. I would say he is calling her. :/ Kinda sad that he doesn't get to play with her. Yet. Everything in that video is positive.

We just need Sapphire to get over that hump and trust him. She will love him. He is SO SWEET!!!
 
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Video - Awwwwwwww, he SO WANTS to play with her. I would say he is calling her. :/ Kinda sad that he doesn't get to play with her. Yet. Everything in that video is positive.

We just need Sapphire to get over that hump and trust him. She will love him. He is SO SWEET!!!
I feel so bad for him that he can't play with her :( I try and play with him as much as I can so hopefully he doesn't get too sad. He still will stand at the bottom of the stairs meowing.

I don't have much of an update on anything. Sapphire has still been coming to the stairs multiple times a day and they have some treats together. I'll admit I've had the gate up at the bottom of the stairs quite a lot so it's easier for me to keep an eye on Fluffy and Sapphire won't usually come down on her own anyways. I did have a close call one morning. Fluffy was by the backdoor looking out the new catio attached to the window and Sapphire came down into the living room but went to hide behind the end table. When Fluffy came back and saw her he immediately tried to run at her but I caught him and put him in his room behind the other gates to calm down. I let him out after a minute or two and they had a few treats together before Sapphire went upstairs.

At the stairs things have been pretty calm. MOST of the time, Fluffy will jump up to say Hi and Sapphire will hiss and he'll back down. Sometimes she will wack him with her paw and they'll start batting back and forth for a few seconds or he will reach his paw through and the same happens. Last night this happened three times as Sapphire would take off upstairs and be back within a minute or two.

I was struggling to tell if Fluffy was just overly excited or something more. The second time Sapphire came down after their pawing, Fluffy was sitting on the floor staring, his tail was going crazy and his mouth was hanging wide open almost panting as no sound was coming out. Then after every time they would paw and Sapphire would run upstairs, Fluffy would just calmly walk away, usually towards the back window. Not sure if he was just excited and then gave up when she left or what.
 

calicosrspecial

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I feel so bad for him that he can't play with her :( I try and play with him as much as I can so hopefully he doesn't get too sad. He still will stand at the bottom of the stairs meowing.

I don't have much of an update on anything. Sapphire has still been coming to the stairs multiple times a day and they have some treats together. I'll admit I've had the gate up at the bottom of the stairs quite a lot so it's easier for me to keep an eye on Fluffy and Sapphire won't usually come down on her own anyways. I did have a close call one morning. Fluffy was by the backdoor looking out the new catio attached to the window and Sapphire came down into the living room but went to hide behind the end table. When Fluffy came back and saw her he immediately tried to run at her but I caught him and put him in his room behind the other gates to calm down. I let him out after a minute or two and they had a few treats together before Sapphire went upstairs.

At the stairs things have been pretty calm. MOST of the time, Fluffy will jump up to say Hi and Sapphire will hiss and he'll back down. Sometimes she will wack him with her paw and they'll start batting back and forth for a few seconds or he will reach his paw through and the same happens. Last night this happened three times as Sapphire would take off upstairs and be back within a minute or two.

I was struggling to tell if Fluffy was just overly excited or something more. The second time Sapphire came down after their pawing, Fluffy was sitting on the floor staring, his tail was going crazy and his mouth was hanging wide open almost panting as no sound was coming out. Then after every time they would paw and Sapphire would run upstairs, Fluffy would just calmly walk away, usually towards the back window. Not sure if he was just excited and then gave up when she left or what.
"I feel so bad for him that he can't play with her :( " - I know :(

"I try and play with him as much as I can so hopefully he doesn't get too sad." - Great!! You are doing all you can.

" He still will stand at the bottom of the stairs meowing." - :(

"I don't have much of an update on anything. Sapphire has still been coming to the stairs multiple times a day and they have some treats together." - Great!!

" I'll admit I've had the gate up at the bottom of the stairs quite a lot so it's easier for me to keep an eye on Fluffy and Sapphire won't usually come down on her own anyways." - Ok, that is totally fine

" I did have a close call one morning. Fluffy was by the backdoor looking out the new catio attached to the window and Sapphire came down into the living room but went to hide behind the end table. When Fluffy came back and saw her he immediately tried to run at her but I caught him and put him in his room behind the other gates to calm down. " - Good job on a catio!! Awwwwwwwwwww.Not too bad. I am sure he wanted to play.

"I let him out after a minute or two and they had a few treats together before Sapphire went upstairs." - WOW!!! THAT tells us a lot!!! I guess she was that worried either!!!

"At the stairs things have been pretty calm. MOST of the time, Fluffy will jump up to say Hi and Sapphire will hiss and he'll back down. Sometimes she will wack him with her paw and they'll start batting back and forth for a few seconds or he will reach his paw through and the same happens. " - Great!!!

"Last night this happened three times as Sapphire would take off upstairs and be back within a minute or two." - Sound like a game. Play. I LOVE that she comes back!!!

"I was struggling to tell if Fluffy was just overly excited or something more. The second time Sapphire came down after their pawing, Fluffy was sitting on the floor staring, his tail was going crazy and his mouth was hanging wide open almost panting as no sound was coming out. Then after every time they would paw and Sapphire would run upstairs, Fluffy would just calmly walk away, usually towards the back window. Not sure if he was just excited and then gave up when she left or what." - Sounds like excitement for play. IF it was something else (negative) it would definitely show and not like the way they are.

Sounds like more progress!! GREAT!!!

GREAT job!!!!
 
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"I feel so bad for him that he can't play with her :( " - I know :(

"I try and play with him as much as I can so hopefully he doesn't get too sad." - Great!! You are doing all you can.

" He still will stand at the bottom of the stairs meowing." - :(

"I don't have much of an update on anything. Sapphire has still been coming to the stairs multiple times a day and they have some treats together." - Great!!

" I'll admit I've had the gate up at the bottom of the stairs quite a lot so it's easier for me to keep an eye on Fluffy and Sapphire won't usually come down on her own anyways." - Ok, that is totally fine

" I did have a close call one morning. Fluffy was by the backdoor looking out the new catio attached to the window and Sapphire came down into the living room but went to hide behind the end table. When Fluffy came back and saw her he immediately tried to run at her but I caught him and put him in his room behind the other gates to calm down. " - Good job on a catio!! Awwwwwwwwwww.Not too bad. I am sure he wanted to play.

"I let him out after a minute or two and they had a few treats together before Sapphire went upstairs." - WOW!!! THAT tells us a lot!!! I guess she was that worried either!!!

"At the stairs things have been pretty calm. MOST of the time, Fluffy will jump up to say Hi and Sapphire will hiss and he'll back down. Sometimes she will wack him with her paw and they'll start batting back and forth for a few seconds or he will reach his paw through and the same happens. " - Great!!!

"Last night this happened three times as Sapphire would take off upstairs and be back within a minute or two." - Sound like a game. Play. I LOVE that she comes back!!!

"I was struggling to tell if Fluffy was just overly excited or something more. The second time Sapphire came down after their pawing, Fluffy was sitting on the floor staring, his tail was going crazy and his mouth was hanging wide open almost panting as no sound was coming out. Then after every time they would paw and Sapphire would run upstairs, Fluffy would just calmly walk away, usually towards the back window. Not sure if he was just excited and then gave up when she left or what." - Sounds like excitement for play. IF it was something else (negative) it would definitely show and not like the way they are.

Sounds like more progress!! GREAT!!!

GREAT job!!!!
I wish I could take credit for the catio but my dad built it for them (mostly for Fluffy as we didn't think Sapphire would enjoy it). I'm not very handy with those kinds of things.

Here they are enjoying it!
20220601_202818.jpg

20220521_183432.jpg


Nothing majorly new for updates. Sapphire has been back to her older self this week. She has barely come downstairs at all while Fluffy is out. I've gone to check a few times and usually she's been asleep. One morning I went upstairs and she was hiding under the bed and seemingly no reason. The very few times she has come down she's been quite grouchy usually hissing and growling immediately. She's even given Fluffy a good wack when he jumps up to say hi which turns into them hitting back and forth until she runs off. Other than that she's acting fine. When I get home from work she's quite excited and playful and as soon as Fluffy has gone to bed she's downstairs either running to the catio or wanting to play with me or cuddle.
 

calicosrspecial

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I wish I could take credit for the catio but my dad built it for them (mostly for Fluffy as we didn't think Sapphire would enjoy it). I'm not very handy with those kinds of things.

Here they are enjoying it!
View attachment 422079
View attachment 422078

Nothing majorly new for updates. Sapphire has been back to her older self this week. She has barely come downstairs at all while Fluffy is out. I've gone to check a few times and usually she's been asleep. One morning I went upstairs and she was hiding under the bed and seemingly no reason. The very few times she has come down she's been quite grouchy usually hissing and growling immediately. She's even given Fluffy a good wack when he jumps up to say hi which turns into them hitting back and forth until she runs off. Other than that she's acting fine. When I get home from work she's quite excited and playful and as soon as Fluffy has gone to bed she's downstairs either running to the catio or wanting to play with me or cuddle.
"I wish I could take credit for the catio but my dad built it for them (mostly for Fluffy as we didn't think Sapphire would enjoy it). I'm not very handy with those kinds of things." - You both get credit!!! :)

"Here they are enjoying it! " - AWESOME!!! Sapphire enjoying!!!! TERRIFIC!!! Of course Fluffy loving it.

"Nothing majorly new for updates. Sapphire has been back to her older self this week. She has barely come downstairs at all while Fluffy is out." - Ok. That is fine. Just act like everything is fine and go on with life. Try not to even acknowledge it.

" I've gone to check a few times and usually she's been asleep. " - Ok, that is fine. I would just let her be and maybe that will help get her to get more courageous.

"One morning I went upstairs and she was hiding under the bed and seemingly no reason." - Maybe she wasn't really hiding? Sometimes they do like places like that. Especially given no real reason.

" The very few times she has come down she's been quite grouchy usually hissing and growling immediately." - Ok, was she eating well? Normal?

" She's even given Fluffy a good wack when he jumps up to say hi which turns into them hitting back and forth until she runs off. " - Ok

"Other than that she's acting fine." - Great

" When I get home from work she's quite excited and playful " - Awwwwwwwwwww. Ok, then just act normal and let her be herself. Don't overcheck on her, just accept her ways.

"and as soon as Fluffy has gone to bed she's downstairs either running to the catio or wanting to play with me or cuddle." - Awwwwwwwwwwww. GREAT!!!!

She will get there in time with him. We just need that last hurdle............................ It WILL happen. :)

GREAT JOB!!! And thank your dad for the great work!!!
 
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Graham18

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"I wish I could take credit for the catio but my dad built it for them (mostly for Fluffy as we didn't think Sapphire would enjoy it). I'm not very handy with those kinds of things." - You both get credit!!! :)

"Here they are enjoying it! " - AWESOME!!! Sapphire enjoying!!!! TERRIFIC!!! Of course Fluffy loving it.

"Nothing majorly new for updates. Sapphire has been back to her older self this week. She has barely come downstairs at all while Fluffy is out." - Ok. That is fine. Just act like everything is fine and go on with life. Try not to even acknowledge it.

" I've gone to check a few times and usually she's been asleep. " - Ok, that is fine. I would just let her be and maybe that will help get her to get more courageous.

"One morning I went upstairs and she was hiding under the bed and seemingly no reason." - Maybe she wasn't really hiding? Sometimes they do like places like that. Especially given no real reason.

" The very few times she has come down she's been quite grouchy usually hissing and growling immediately." - Ok, was she eating well? Normal?

" She's even given Fluffy a good wack when he jumps up to say hi which turns into them hitting back and forth until she runs off. " - Ok

"Other than that she's acting fine." - Great

" When I get home from work she's quite excited and playful " - Awwwwwwwwwww. Ok, then just act normal and let her be herself. Don't overcheck on her, just accept her ways.

"and as soon as Fluffy has gone to bed she's downstairs either running to the catio or wanting to play with me or cuddle." - Awwwwwwwwwwww. GREAT!!!!

She will get there in time with him. We just need that last hurdle............................ It WILL happen. :)

GREAT JOB!!! And thank your dad for the great work!!!
Since the last reply she's been on and off. Maybe it's just the weather or off days. She is eating, drinking, etc and she's completely normal as long as her brother isn't out and about. This morning I found her in her bed looking like she was ready to run and hide at a moment's notice, but when I got home from work she was hyper and playful.

She was coming back down the stairs tonight almost all the way down (I moved a piece of furniture and she really wants to go into the small little room the furniture was blocking). I had the gate up at the base of the stairs as sometimes she likes to try and sneak to the catio when she doesn't realize Fluffy is in it. There was some minor swatting back and forth a few times as Fluffy would jump up to see her through the stairs. Lots of growling and hissing from Sapphire as usual. While Fluffy was sitting on the floor watching her while she growled at him, he even hissed at her while she was growling.

Overall nothing exciting happening! Haha
 
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