Have To Stop Feeding My Ferals

[dustydiamond1]

Thank you. It is allowed. I am being singled out because of this woman. Many times my dishes have disappeared when I've gone back to gather them for washing. I couldn't figure out where they were going, often I found them in the garbage. I now am pretty certain this woman has been stalking me and taking the food away. I keep the areas clean. I wash the dishes which is more than they had before. The lady just put cans of food out for them and some dry food. I can't bear nor can I afford to have them picked up. They'll be sitting on my steps for a few days but should realize that I am not going to feed them. There are quite a few people who do feed them and very near me. They have their own colonies to feed. I'd be willing to provide food if they have to accept them in. Also I wonder if I got everyone who does this together. I don't know them that well but could probably find them and ask if they all would help me feed them. Then can the city still accuse me if everyone is feeding them? I already have people who give me food and such? I'm just throwing out ideas here trying to think constructively. They are not my cats. They have their own home and if everyone fed them in their appointed place would that help? If we sort of ganged up on this neighbor this way and worked together? The other thing is if they just move on for food but they won't have to go far and they will still come back to their own grounds to live I suspect as they are safe there. The house is empty and while they can't get into it they can get into the basement through a hole only they can get to. Like I said wherever they end up I'd be willing to help with food Thanks everyone. Like I said I'm throwing out ideas here trying to be constructive. I'm not so young myself and this is what gets me up everyday and give me some responsibility. Otherwise I might never leave the house. I don't understand mean people who go behind others back but I'm old enough to know that these people exist.

 

[dustydiamond1]

You are a dear sweet lady and a wonderful person for caring so much for the poor kittys. Always know that you have our support and well wishes.
Is there a limit as to the number of cats you can claim to be the owner of? If they are 'yours' could the law make the evil woman back off?
Take care of yourself and try to keep up your spirits up.

 

[dustydiamond1]

yes, I've been trying to think of what to say as I'm not good at this sort of thing. But I'm not feeding them anymore. They will find food elsewhere I think but it won't solve the problem of the cats because they will stay on that property where they were raised and lived for many years. But it's not my thing anymore. This woman created the problem. She'll have to figure out how to solve it herself if she really wants to get rid of the cats. Maybe she just has a mean streak for me even though she doesn't know me.

 

[annekarina53]

Just to update - I didn't feed them today and now the neighbors who are friendly to the cats are angry and feeding them themselves.

 

[Sarthur2]

This is not surprising. Poor cats are the victims here.

Do you plan to talk to either of the property owners?

 

[dustydiamond1]

Just to update - I didn't feed them today and now the neighbors who are friendly to the cats are angry and feeding them themselves.

I know you don't really want to but I think you should speak to the neighbors who are friendly and feeding the poor dears, let them know exactly what is going on and maybe even offer any spare food you may have. At least they won't be angry at you.

 

[orange&white]

Just to update - I didn't feed them today and now the neighbors who are friendly to the cats are angry and feeding them themselves.

That could be read two ways:

The neighbors know about the complaint that was filed, and are angry at the lady who filed it, so they decided to take over feeding the cats.

or

The neighbors know nothing about the complaint, think you suddenly neglected the cats, and are mad at you so they decided to take over feeding the cats.

 

[nahui]

What a mean-spirited woman to force you to stop feeding the cats! If they bother her so much why didn't she at least have to courtesy to speak to you first and try to resolve the issue? I agree with others who have said that all parties involved should be notified. Also, if there are others feeding the cats, talking to them and having them as allies might be a good idea. Maybe you do not have the time or the desire to get further involved in this, but maybe some of the other people feeding them wouldn't mind getting involved.

Also, do consider writing that reply. Maybe we could help you write it if you need help with that?

 

[lavishsqualor]

lavishsqualor mentioned her partner is a judge. Perhaps we could get a small favor to review the response letter you write?

It's the long hair in my avatar photo, isn't it? At least I hope that's it. Folks don't usually mistake me for a she in person, lol. My hair is not quite that long anymore, and I guess I should use another photo for my avatar but I really like this one of me and my daughter together. It was taken about a year ago. Anyway, my partner and I would be willing to help in any manner possible. He's a cat lover too.

PM me and we'll do anything we can. I have to stress again, though, the Our Friend of Ferals really should reach out to her local Legal Aid too. They are always much more familiar with local ordinances and laws.

 

[Norachan]

I just wanted to send you more hugs and vibes. Just so you know we are all here supporting you.



I think it would be a really good idea to talk to the other neighbors as well as the vet and the owner of the house. It can't do any harm as you have already decided to stop feeding the cats. You may find you have a lot more allies than you realised.

 

[annekarina53]

I know you don't really want to but I think you should speak to the neighbors who are friendly and feeding the poor dears, let them know exactly what is going on and maybe even offer any spare food you may have. At least they won't be angry at you.

these neighbors are among the ones that drop food off for them. They know what is going on. I did offer food. Some of it they gave me. They were checking on me because I had my phone off all day and didn't get their messages. I turned that off because I didn't want any reason to complain to people. There is a satisfactory solution to this problem and I just have to find it.

 

[di and bob]

I wish you well, and will pray you find a solution. At least you know SOME of the neighbors are kind to these poor cats.
I had to laugh when I read about people mistaking you for a women in your picture. Men always get the gorgeous hair! I think we are so used to only women being concerned about, and even liking cats, that we think we have a monopoly. My husband loves our cats almost as much as I do, he just isn't as involved with the ferals and strays.
I met a women yesterday that mentioned she was having so many problems with rabbits and I told her I didn't because I had cats. She informed me she didn't care for cats at all! Well I didn't even hesitate, informing her that the dogs I was around sure didn't smell very good, and did they EVER quit yapping? I guess if you try hard enough you'll find something not to like in all species, including annoying neighbors. LOL!!!

 

[annekarina53]

I just wanted to send you more hugs and vibes. Just so you know we are all here supporting you.



I think it would be a really good idea to talk to the other neighbors as well as the vet and the owner of the house. It can't do any harm as you have already decided to stop feeding the cats. You may find you have a lot more allies than you realised.

Thank you. The neighbors are aware of the problem or the ones that stopped by last night are. It will spread I hope through the neighborhood grapevine. The cat caregivers who don't know about the problem yet will, some are apartment building owners who rent out apartments in the area and care about the cats. I don't know how to contact these folks. They stopped and talked to me as they passed by when I was feeding the cats. To hear how many some are caring for was outstanding. And I try not to get to into people's business as I like being more of a private person. The less I know and bother them the more they might be willing to help if needed. The underground grapevine is strong I think here. It's like anything else if one person is doing it the others who also do this will all find each other. I have tried to be a good neighbor for the cats and thought I was doing my part for the neighborhood by keeping them fed so they would stay in their territory and not have to roam and they were not reproducing in the process. But as all good deeds it's not appreciated. I am not an altruistic person as I don't think people are really made that way. We have to be motivated to do things, but did grow up on a farm and do know the value of cats. I'll never forget the time my mom's chicken feed barrel got invaded by field mice. We had a good mouser on the farm that was people friendly. I was very young but told her not to worry, Bootsie and I would take care of the mice. That cat and I spent that Saturday afternoon at the feed barrel. I'd put him in it and he would catch a mouse, take off for a bit and come back. We wiped them out. And I don't think they came back because the cat made a point of stalking the area after that. I learned then how much cats do enjoy the game of cat and mouse.

 

[annekarina53]

I wish you well, and will pray you find a solution. At least you know SOME of the neighbors are kind to these poor cats.
I had to laugh when I read about people mistaking you for a women in your picture. Men always get the gorgeous hair! I think we are so used to only women being concerned about, and even liking cats, that we think we have a monopoly. My husband loves our cats almost as much as I do, he just isn't as involved with the ferals and strays.
I met a women yesterday that mentioned she was having so many problems with rabbits and I told her I didn't because I had cats. She informed me she didn't care for cats at all! Well I didn't even hesitate, informing her that the dogs I was around sure didn't smell very good, and did they EVER quit yapping? I guess if you try hard enough you'll find something not to like in all species, including annoying neighbors. LOL!!!

I'm not the gentleman with the pic. That's another poster. If he's got long hair he needs to flaunt it is my opinion coming from a family of bald men. yes, there will always be someone who complains. Even a neighbor who is not so friendly to the cats but does appear to tolerate them is very much aware that I have rescued his elderly dog several times when the dog was running without a leash. Once the owner was out of town and the people caring for the dog left it get away. I knew someone would be looking for him so I put him in my yard until the caretakers were found and left a message on the owner's phone that I found and had his dog. Then once while the owner was home the dog escaped out the back door of the house without anyone knowing. I found him, took him back and called the neighbor. The dog was supposed to be on a leash if out. If I was someone else the dog may not have been so fortunate. The owner is responsible. The dog is old now and sometimes I think the animal gets confused. But he always seems to find me when he's lost and knows I won't let any harm come to him.
Now rabbits, well I can understand why she wouldn't like cats as they will kill rabbits if they can catch them. And they will try. Of course so will dogs. But that is how it goes and why people do need to be responsible. I hear so many people talk about cats preying on songbirds. Yes, I understand but can I introduce you to all the predator birds in this neighborhood that have been seen chasing said songbirds? I'm talking hawks and things bigger than just scavengers.

 

[orange&white]

It's the long hair in my avatar photo, isn't it? At least I hope that's it. Folks don't usually mistake me for a she in person, lol. My hair is not quite that long anymore, and I guess I should use another photo for my avatar but I really like this one of me and my daughter together. It was taken about a year ago. Anyway, my partner and I would be willing to help in any manner possible. He's a cat lover too.

PM me and we'll do anything we can. I have to stress again, though, the Our Friend of Ferals really should reach out to her local Legal Aid too. They are always much more familiar with local ordinances and laws.

Sorry about that. It was a thoughtless mistake.

 

[lavishsqualor]

No worries at all, orange&white. You gave me a much needed chuckle.

 

[kittychick]

lavishsqualor ... orange&white etc--- that entire discussion about the partner/hair gave ME the only chuckle I've had all morning! Hopefully everyone reading this thread - including annekarina53 - also got a tad bit of much-needed levity too The cat/mouse story made me smile too (although not for the mice) since I grew up spending lots of time on my grandparents' farm with lots of time in grain bins with the kitties and lots and lots of mice. And I know I mentioned earlier that we have a very, very similar situation in our neighborhood - - and sadly, as we were coming home last night from a pet food run, we saw yet another neighborhood group Facebook post about anger towards the "damn cats" on our block - - - only to actually see TWO new sets of kittens AND a pair of new "teen" kittens that proceeded to get into such a hideous, nasty very loud vicious fight (I'm guessing either two males over territory) that my husband and I actually stopped the car to try to break up and couldn't and then only two houses down ANOTHER trio of new kittens AND mom - - - seven new ones within 10 minutes in our block that we thought was completely controlled. We were both near tears. And I immediately thought of all of the struggles of annekarina53 .

Try to focus on all of the good you've done....all of the kittens you've saved from being born (and given the number you're dealing with you'd be in the hundreds just within a few years) and facing all of this hate. I try to remind myself (well, my husband tries to remind me as I get so angry and hurt and frustrated) that so many people in this world are so "cat ignorant" at best. Even people who call themselves animal lovers often feel ok to hate on cats and people who appreciate/love them. But you have saved SO many from being forced to deal with this. I'm glad you do have people who are also concerned for you - and for the cats. I know you feel so defeated and frustrated and upset (I feel all of those right now thinking of how we're going to deal with the new arrivals in our neighborhood as the hate bubbles to the surface again). But know that this site hopefully does offer some comfort and a place where people "get it" -- - even if all you need to do is say "I can't do anything else about this today....I've done all I can - at least for today....and I just need everyone to listen without judging" this is a good place to do so.

 

[annekarina53]

lavishsqualor ... orange&white etc--- that entire discussion about the partner/hair gave ME the only chuckle I've had all morning! Hopefully everyone reading this thread - including annekarina53 - also got a tad bit of much-needed levity too The cat/mouse story made me smile too (although not for the mice) since I grew up spending lots of time on my grandparents' farm with lots of time in grain bins with the kitties and lots and lots of mice. And I know I mentioned earlier that we have a very, very similar situation in our neighborhood - - and sadly, as we were coming home last night from a pet food run, we saw yet another neighborhood group Facebook post about anger towards the "damn cats" on our block - - - only to actually see TWO new sets of kittens AND a pair of new "teen" kittens that proceeded to get into such a hideous, nasty very loud vicious fight (I'm guessing either two males over territory) that my husband and I actually stopped the car to try to break up and couldn't and then only two houses down ANOTHER trio of new kittens AND mom - - - seven new ones within 10 minutes in our block that we thought was completely controlled. We were both near tears. And I immediately thought of all of the struggles of annekarina53 .

Try to focus on all of the good you've done....all of the kittens you've saved from being born (and given the number you're dealing with you'd be in the hundreds just within a few years) and facing all of this hate. I try to remind myself (well, my husband tries to remind me as I get so angry and hurt and frustrated) that so many people in this world are so "cat ignorant" at best. Even people who call themselves animal lovers often feel ok to hate on cats and people who appreciate/love them. But you have saved SO many from being forced to deal with this. I'm glad you do have people who are also concerned for you - and for the cats. I know you feel so defeated and frustrated and upset (I feel all of those right now thinking of how we're going to deal with the new arrivals in our neighborhood as the hate bubbles to the surface again). But know that this site hopefully does offer some comfort and a place where people "get it" -- - even if all you need to do is say "I can't do anything else about this today....I've done all I can - at least for today....and I just need everyone to listen without judging" this is a good place to do so.

Thank you for your kind post. Oh, I understand when people drop the babies off at a colony where they think no one will notice. It would be worse here if I hadn't stayed on top of it. I finally put my foot down for all it means and said do NOT drop cat off here. I cannot take them nor do I want them. They are expensive. One was in my neighbor's wheel well once morning. It was crying and I couldn't find it. The other cats were around his car trying to find out who was crying. Finally the cat came out and I took it. It was just a baby and a smart little animal. I burst into tears and called my TNR friend who still lived here. She had a vet for me to go to for TNR and I found the little a home that was very suitable for his intelligence. He needed someone who could literally keep up with him. We took him to the vet visit my friend had donated and got that then then his new family member took over. Last I've heard he's doing well in this home. Then someone dropped two beautiful cats off that were obviously by their gorgeous looks house cats and this was the middle of winter. I caught them and one needed vet care as the elements were too much for him. So I took care of that. My TNR friend again came to the rescue. She had connections. And found a no kill center to take them. I felt bad because I had no money left for donations. That vet bill was high. But the kitties were safe and of course I left the center know what happened because I did intend to give a donation. Then the man doing the maintenance at my apt shows up one morning with a kitten he found outside and just assumed it was mine. Well he assumed wrong. I fed the poor thing, again a bright one. And he had to stay outside then after he was fed. He was marked like a bengal cat and the neighbors, the ones helping me now, found him. They were afraid someone might take him for a breeder cat with his markings so they took him in. He's spoiled now and still comes by to say hello. But I have been adamant. Do not leave cats in these cats territory. I've done my share of TNR and the neighbors don't need more cats. They've until now, but up with these. That's enough. At least I have some control over this colony for what it's worth. But the people that don't like them don't understand that nor understand how these colonies work. I feel there is a satisfactory answer to this and I expect to find it.

 

[kittychick]

I'm so glad to hear you're getting adamant for yourself (although I know you can only control others to a certain extent). As I noted - we're dealing with a very similar issue in our neighborhood - but we're not the target of everyone's aggression since we didn't "start it" (although we stand up often for the family who did, and explain that they now TNR - as do we). Interestingly, this morning we approached the one family where we saw the mom and three babies in their driveway after we saw the family watching in horror out their window as one of the kittens darted in front of our car - I figured they'd be less than receptive to anything, but the husband actually listened to us talk about TNR (although I figured it was smiling and nodding to get us to leave) and then unbelievably, tonight he called to say he'd actually gone and picked up the humane trap for the mom! One thing that I do think helped a bit was that we went to his home with materials from Alley Cat Allies - - the organization that really got everyone talking about TNR. They have free info packets that you can request on their website that they send you to help "neighbors who don't understand" hopefully "get it" a bit more (the website is www.alleycatallies.org). And we passed them out at a neighborhood association meeting last year, and it really did seem to get a large portion of the neighborhood to start to understand the process (although they still "blame" that initial family....which is beyond irrational). I do realize you are probably well past that with the very unpleasant neighbor, but it's at least yet another resource for materials (and might even help with legal issues - although we haven't gotten to that yet, so not sure on that).

Now we'll see what happens when I approach the two neighbors several houses down where we saw the OTHER two groups last night....since I found out this morning that one of the houses (where the fight was going on) is the neighbor who's getting very vocal right now about "those damn cats." So hopefully they won't see us as the crazy cat neighbors who are part of the problem - although I realize we're opening ourselves to it by exposing ourselves as TNR people. Wish me luck.

We did decide though that we're NOT telling them about the small part of the larger neighborhood colony - now down to four cats - who now actually live in heated shelters in our garage

I hope you keep us posted....and that you try to stay sane. We're all pulling for you - - as it sounds like your NICE neighbors are too!!!

 

[annekarina53]

I'm so glad to hear you're getting adamant for yourself (although I know you can only control others to a certain extent). As I noted - we're dealing with a very similar issue in our neighborhood - but we're not the target of everyone's aggression since we didn't "start it" (although we stand up often for the family who did, and explain that they now TNR - as do we). Interestingly, this morning we approached the one family where we saw the mom and three babies in their driveway after we saw the family watching in horror out their window as one of the kittens darted in front of our car - I figured they'd be less than receptive to anything, but the husband actually listened to us talk about TNR (although I figured it was smiling and nodding to get us to leave) and then unbelievably, tonight he called to say he'd actually gone and picked up the humane trap for the mom! One thing that I do think helped a bit was that we went to his home with materials from Alley Cat Allies - - the organization that really got everyone talking about TNR. They have free info packets that you can request on their website that they send you to help "neighbors who don't understand" hopefully "get it" a bit more (the website is www.alleycatallies.org). And we passed them out at a neighborhood association meeting last year, and it really did seem to get a large portion of the neighborhood to start to understand the process (although they still "blame" that initial family....which is beyond irrational). I do realize you are probably well past that with the very unpleasant neighbor, but it's at least yet another resource for materials (and might even help with legal issues - although we haven't gotten to that yet, so not sure on that).

Now we'll see what happens when I approach the two neighbors several houses down where we saw the OTHER two groups last night....since I found out this morning that one of the houses (where the fight was going on) is the neighbor who's getting very vocal right now about "those damn cats." So hopefully they won't see us as the crazy cat neighbors who are part of the problem - although I realize we're opening ourselves to it by exposing ourselves as TNR people. Wish me luck.

We did decide though that we're NOT telling them about the small part of the larger neighborhood colony - now down to four cats - who now actually live in heated shelters in our garage

I hope you keep us posted....and that you try to stay sane. We're all pulling for you - - as it sounds like your NICE neighbors are too!!!

thank you for the great information. I checked that site and already have a list of centers to contact for help with TNR. I hope they answer. Maybe using this site will help as leverage? and the handouts look really nice.

Yeah, I didn't start this mess either. I cleaned it up. No one else stepped up to that plate. I think it's always as long as someone else does it and we'll just sit back and complain is their attitude for some. The cats are calmer since my kind neighbor has been slipping them food. I left some unopened cans at one of her feeding stations so if she wants too she can give them that. They still don't understand why I don't feed them but they are calmer.

Thanks again for the great info.