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I am so sorry. I may be a bit slow due to emotions and lack of sleep, but I don't understand.
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Feline gastrointestinal lymphoma?
- Thread starter mukkia
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Yes, Angel had done that before, it's from straining so hard. Same with the cystitis & straining to pee.
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He has had his urine tested three times, three extensive blood panels, one GI enzyme panel, teeth checked, anal glands expressed, ultrasound, 14 x rays, ( 12 of which were the barium test,) and ears, eyes, and physical exams every time. His stool is soft. I have put him though a lot, but I promised him I wouldn't give up until he tells me he is ready. We shook on it and he sealed it with a kiss, by wrapping his paw around my finger, pulling it to his face, and then licked my finger. :****(
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Before you decide to PTS make sure you are really there and not just slow due to emotions and lack of sleep. Know in your heart and brain that this is the right thing. Because after you will be instantly filled with doubt and second guessing. We all are. Even when we know its the only right thing left to do. You will blame yourself. We all do. This is incredibly hard to type to you. Please do what you can for Mukkia and then take some time to care for yourself. No one here will judge you no matter what you decide. To try more treatments or decide that enough is enough.
Mukkia please know that I am pulling for you and your beautiful boy.
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I understand what you mean now. I know that I am not ready, I don't think that I will ever be ready. He is my child. I must have done something right, because I was blessed to have him walk into my life 14 years ago, and yet suddenly that doesn't seem long enough or long ago. It is ripping my heart out watching him slowly deteriorate. I keep waiting for him to magically get better, or show me a sign that he is done. God knows I don't think I could make this choice for him. You know? This is truly the hardest thing I have ever gone through to date. He is more than a cat, he is my best friend, my perfume advisor, licked my tears, made me laugh when I didn't want to or think I could, my child, my little green eyed old man. He even likes to take baths with me. He's quite the man, Mukkia is, Mukkia is truly one in a lifetime.
He really needs fluids and food. I would insist on the feeding tube if, IF he was urinating and having normal BMs.
@Mukkia I thought I would pop in and see how things are going, and very saddened to read this latest.......
How unfair it is to put so much in to helping our fur kids get well again, we would do anything, and to get to this point is just devastating.
I believe you have a very caring dedicated vet along with you, so for her to say what she has, well, it may be something you need to consider.
I do agree though, don't do it when you are emotionally and physically exhausted. Sometimes when you have a chance to catch your second wind, the answer will be crystal clear.
I know this is true for me at least.
Does he have any 'feel good' times at all? Does he hide most of the time or act antisocial?
Obviously he can't continue on not eating. There's no way around that.
I sure do feel for you now.
How unfair it is to put so much in to helping our fur kids get well again, we would do anything, and to get to this point is just devastating.
I believe you have a very caring dedicated vet along with you, so for her to say what she has, well, it may be something you need to consider.
I do agree though, don't do it when you are emotionally and physically exhausted. Sometimes when you have a chance to catch your second wind, the answer will be crystal clear.
I know this is true for me at least.
Does he have any 'feel good' times at all? Does he hide most of the time or act antisocial?
Obviously he can't continue on not eating. There's no way around that.
I sure do feel for you now.
Yeah. I feel the same about Kitten. And I had to. For what it's worth I'd find a vet willing to put the feeding tube in. It's not that invasive. and get some subq fluids into him. You have to get it now before his organs start shutting down. Consider it a hail mary pass that you did everything you could.
I agree with the feeding tube, I would exhaust all options before making that final one.
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I'm sorry if I'm missing something here, but no definitive answer then on what is wrong with him? Like you, I thought there was hope for recovery once the Barium test ruled out whatever it is that it ruled out. I'm so sorry to know that you're once again back to where you were at the beginning, considering letting him go. I don't think I can say anything that others haven't already said, but like everyone else, I'm truly sorry and disheartened that you're both going through all this. It's just unbelievable, all of this.
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Thank you. He has only seemed to feel good after he was given fluids a couple of weeks ago. I told the doctor that, so he gave him some more on the day of the barium test, but he didn't get the same energetic sense as he did before. He hides mostly. Either behind the couch, or under my bed. He has not laid in bed with me in three days. When I sing to him after about 10 or so minutes I briefly see a light in his eyes.like a sparkle. It's hard to describe. It is worth a million or more dollars. Actually, nothing compares to it. That's what makes this hard, is when I see that light of life twinkle, even if it is just for a moment. He doesn't want to be touched much. It's odd, because he will purr and growl at the same time. Then he hisses, that's when I give him his space.@Mukkia
I thought I would pop in and see how things are going, and very saddened to read this latest.......
How unfair it is to put so much in to helping our fur kids get well again, we would do anything, and to get to this point is just devastating.
I believe you have a very caring dedicated vet along with you, so for her to say what she has, well, it may be something you need to consider.
I do agree though, don't do it when you are emotionally and physically exhausted. Sometimes when you have a chance to catch your second wind, the answer will be crystal clear.
I know this is true for me at least.
Does he have any 'feel good' times at all? Does he hide most of the time or act antisocial?
Obviously he can't continue on not eating. There's no way around that.
I sure do feel for you now.
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Sometimes the answer is not worth the cost. Mukkia can't go through the biopsies, and the barium test is not good at detecting intestinal lymphoma, or IBD. Sadly, Mukkia has not gained an ounce since this began. He is continuing on a decline in weight one ounce away from 7lbs now. My heart is so heavy and you have been a great friend to us.
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I'm sorry, I wish I could do and say so much more. Something, anything to help. You're both in my thoughts.
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You are all so wonderful here. Sometimes just a thought or, prayer is truly enough.
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I just wanted to add this. When I said that sometimes the answer is not worth the cost I was not speaking of a monetary value, I meant putting Mukkia though a test that would give me an answer, maybe, because sometimes the results are not clear. my veterinarian told me that two experienced technicians could read the same smear and give two different results. so, for more than one reason I will not put Mukkia through that. just to name a couple that is number one. Also,the travel, it a VERY high risk procedure for any living being even in perfect health at optimal age range.
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You don't have to defend yourself. Everyone here wanted to see Mukkia get better. Probably because some of us have lost so much. It makes the world righter when someone else wins the battle. All of us understand that at some point the answer isn't worth the pain for the cat or for us. The end result is the same. At the same time there is the undeniable urge to rally and throw out anything that might help.
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I understand and in all honesty, I think either is valid, not wanting to put a pet already in distress through more when you might not even have a clear answer or they can't take any more, or spending on some procedure that might be costly and might not be able to give you definitive answers. Each case is different and it's up to the pet parent.
I'll say a prayer tonight for you both. Sending you hugs.
I'll say a prayer tonight for you both. Sending you hugs.
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Not the G-tube, not going to a university, if any tube at all, just the e-tube, like described early on -- done by your own vet under anesthesia, takes about 15 minutes is all. Your vet was for it earlier, but if Mukkia cannot keep food down, then putting food in him with the e-tube would just make him vomit. Perhaps its time to let him do what he wants and just keep him comfortable, or help him along on his journey. Diagnosis is just a name. It does not matter by what name this illness goes, if you cannot get him to eat, and if he is getting grumpy and miserable, perhaps it is just his time and you are interfering with his natural process, and yet you cannot control it. I have reached that point before, when I just give in to what they really want and what they really want is to get out of their failing bodies and stop being miserable. At which point I wil stop fighting them and start helping them. I always trade places with them in my mind, what would I want if I were in their situation.........
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Feeling ticked off at the universe tonight. Shedding tears for all who have been fighting this horrible battle. Very angry at the universe.
I absolutely understand what you mean. I mention earlier that I had to deal with a cat with bone cancer. They kept trying to get me to let them do bone marrow biopsy and I kept saying it doesn't matter. There's no cure. We couldn't get her stable enough for anesthesia. We opted to bring her home and keep her comfortable until I started seeing signs that she is getting ready to go over. I can't tell you how awful I felt. I second guessed myself and was very angry.
Just know that we all understand why you are thinking about the rainbow bridge because you love him. Sometimes no matter how much money you spend or how many procedures are done its never going to be enough. I still think about my Flash and how much she enjoyed life right to the end. I can't imagine how much your heart is breaking. Sending you hugs and prayers.
I absolutely understand what you mean. I mention earlier that I had to deal with a cat with bone cancer. They kept trying to get me to let them do bone marrow biopsy and I kept saying it doesn't matter. There's no cure. We couldn't get her stable enough for anesthesia. We opted to bring her home and keep her comfortable until I started seeing signs that she is getting ready to go over. I can't tell you how awful I felt. I second guessed myself and was very angry.
Just know that we all understand why you are thinking about the rainbow bridge because you love him. Sometimes no matter how much money you spend or how many procedures are done its never going to be enough. I still think about my Flash and how much she enjoyed life right to the end. I can't imagine how much your heart is breaking. Sending you hugs and prayers.
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