Cats are semi-feral and don't know how to approach them

[twosemiferalcat]

You don't need a pet behaviorist. You just simply need much more patience. I mean let THEM decide when they feel safe enough to approach you. Sit in the room with them on the floor and read a book, ignoring them. If they come up to investigate, don't do anything at first, just let them take things at their own pace. Then if they stay, offer a closed fist for them to either sniff or rub their face. I learned the hard way too with my feral kitties that THEY are the ones to decide when to approach you. If they were in the wild and in danger of being caught by Animal Control, that would be different. Since they are safely inside, you've got all the time in the world. It may take months. Don't be discouraged though, and they will reward you with their trust, eventually. But their trust has to be earned.

It's already been 2 months since we've brought them and it's just been traumatizing for us and the cats. Honestly, we've been moving them from room to room and blocking anywhere where they can hide. I think this was the reason why they're not trusting us. My husband keeps saying that the cats shouldn't have anywhere to hide and he blocks all of them...I'm not sure if he's doing the right thing or if we need to keep their hiding spots. I guess I know where he's coming from; a person with a phobia needs to be desensitized in order to get better and learn that whatever is traumatizing them won't hurt them. Not sure how this goes with cats though.

 

[twosemiferalcat]

I reread your first post and saw where you said you adopted them at 8 months and they were semi-feral. What was their backstory? Did you adopt from the city or county Shelter?

We adopted them from a small shelter called SPIN, which is in Natick, MA. THere was one woman that fostered them and told us that she TNR them when they were 4months old. However, they had worms and some medical issues to attend to so she had them for 3 months. During the 3 months, she told us that the cats have become very attached to her and that they followed her around like kittens would to a mother. However, I'm not sure if her story is completely true because the cats don't seem as fond of humans. Also, the day we decided to take them, the lady said, "I was going to take them", which kind of worried us...She called many times during the first month, but if she were that concerned of their well-being then they shouldn't have stayed at such a shelter.

They stayed at an open caged place where potential adoptees would go in and pet the cats. The cage was exposed to where people would walk past them and stick their fingers in to touch them (even though the sign said not to touch the cats). The other big issue was that that cage had a shelved mount that would be next to the caged part where the cats would sleep on (also the place where people would stick their fingers in). Before we went in to adopt our babies, we saw one guy saying, "who is that tiger looking boy?" and stuck his finger in the cage to touch him. Kids would walk by and poke at them. Maybe that's why they're so traumatized to people.

Atleast, that's what my husband and I are thinking what happened.

 

[ginny]

It's different with cats because the only means of communications with them is our actions. We can't tell them to trust us, we have to show them we are trustworthy. They DO need a place to hide, not somewhere where they will get stuck of course but somewhere they feel safe. Right now, they don't feel safe with you, especially since all their hiding places have been taken away from them. That might make them look at you as aggressors. Do you have some cat trees? Some like to climb and feel safer looking down on you from their safe place. It seems that the efforts your husband is making, well-meaning effort, is backfiring.

 

[twosemiferalcat]

It's different with cats because the only means of communications with them is our actions. We can't tell them to trust us, we have to show them we are trustworthy. They DO need a place to hide, not somewhere where they will get stuck of course but somewhere they feel safe. Right now, they don't feel safe with you, especially since all their hiding places have been taken away from them. That might make them look at you as aggressors. Do you have some cat trees? Some like to climb and feel safer looking down on you from their safe place. It seems that the efforts your husband is making, well-meaning effort, is backfiring.

Yes, they do have a cat tree. They actually really like it, but haven't been in it for about a day or so after all of that petting. Ah, it is a very tedious, life-draining experience with these kitties to say the least. I love them very much, but am very very confused. I will try and convince my husband to stop taking away their hiding places and to take it slow.

By the way, how long did it take with your cat?

 

[di and bob]

I believe cats NEED a place to hide to feel secure. I always provide a box or hidey place to go. They feel exposed and frantic out in the open. Allowing them to hide and letting them come out on their own terms when they feel safe is much more humane and most likely quicker then traumatising them repeatedly. You have to move slowly, be as quiet as possible and be around them by sitting quietly and letting them get used to you. Offer good treats and get them to associate you with good things. Two months is not long for a cat to get used to somewhere new, but they should be starting to trust you by now. They are not like dogs, physical punishment just makes them afraid, you need to earn their trust, not demand it . They will come around, follow your instincts and remember they are scared witless now but will be loving companions one day with your understanding and patience, all the luck and keep us posted!

 

[ginny]

We adopted them from a small shelter called SPIN, which is in Natick, MA. THere was one woman that fostered them and told us that she TNR them when they were 4months old. However, they had worms and some medical issues to attend to so she had them for 3 months. During the 3 months, she told us that the cats have become very attached to her and that they followed her around like kittens would to a mother. However, I'm not sure if her story is completely true because the cats stayed at an open caged place where potential adoptees would go in and pet the cats. The cage was exposed to where people would walk past them and stick their fingers in to touch them (even though the sign said not to touch the cats). The other big issue was that that cage had a shelved mount that would be next to the caged part where the cats would sleep on (also the place where people would stick their fingers in). Before we went in to adopt our babies, we saw one guy saying, "who is that tiger looking boy?" and stuck his finger in the cage to touch him. Kids would walk by and poke at them. Maybe that's why they're so traumatized to people.

Atleast, that's what my husband and I are thinking what happened.

All cats are different personality-wise. Some are friendlier, others are shy or easily scared, some are just plain aloof. I think you are right that moving them from room to room and taking away their hiding places is a mistake. So it sounds like they were 2nd generation feral, trapped and neutered/spayed, and taken in by a foster who had good success socializing them to herself, but not to others though.

You were doing a good job socializing them to you, but I believe maybe your husband is a little impatient and wants it to happen already. I understand, as I got very tired with the slow process of earning a feral cat's trust. That plus taking away their hiding places was a mistake, I think. And now they are picking up on your sense of trauma as well. I'd say put them in one or two rooms, give them their hiding places, and resume earning their trust slowly on their own terms and their own time.

 

[twosemiferalcat]

I believe cats NEED a place to hide to feel secure. I always provide a box or hidey place to go. They feel exposed and frantic out in the open. Allowing them to hide and letting them come out on their own terms when they feel safe is much more humane and most likely quicker then traumatising them repeatedly. You have to move slowly, be as quiet as possible and be around them by sitting quietly and letting them get used to you. Offer good treats and get them to associate you with good things. Two months is not long for a cat to get used to somewhere new, but they should be starting to trust you by now. They are not like dogs, physical punishment just makes them afraid, you need to earn their trust, not demand it . They will come around, follow your instincts and remember they are scared witless now but will be loving companions one day with your understanding and patience, all the luck and keep us posted!

Thank you. I will be much more patient and convince my husband. Thank you for your wise advice! Truly grateful!

 

[twosemiferalcat]

All cats are different personality-wise. Some are friendlier, others are shy or easily scared, some are just plain aloof. I think you are right that moving them from room to room and taking away their hiding places is a mistake. So it sounds like they were 2nd generation feral, trapped and neutered/spayed, and taken in by a foster who had good success socializing them to herself, but not to others though.

You were doing a good job socializing them to you, but I believe maybe your husband is a little impatient and wants it to happen already. I understand, as I got very tired with the slow process of earning a feral cat's trust. That plus taking away their hiding places was a mistake, I think. And now they are picking up on your sense of trauma as well. I'd say put them in one or two rooms, give them their hiding places, and resume earning their trust slowly on their own terms and their own time.

I will! Thank you very much for your kind input and listening to my story. I will keep you posted for the following days and see what happens. I feel that cats are sometimes unpredictable with their actions. Hopefully one of them opens up more!

 

[ginny]

I erased my post by accident while trying to edit. So I will start over.

In answer to your question of how long it took to socialize my kitties, I'd say it took almost 2 1/2 months to even touch one! They were a little family consisting of a mama kitty and 6 babies. They were about 8 or 12 weeks old at the time I started feeding them on my back porch. It was weeks before they would even approach the porch, let alone come and stand on the porch while I was there putting out their food. Then one day Honey rubbed her body against my leg and I was so excited! But I knew even then that I had to not rush thing and just keep slowly getting them used to me. I made mistakes too, like when I stepped on her paw. She avoided me like the plague for a while but slowly came back to me. It's a real learning process as you and your husband are discovering. You will make mistakes but learn from them and keep going slowly forward. Slow and steady wins the race. Here is a pic below. Note how mama kitty is watching me to make sure I don't do anything funny. I was standing inside my house taking the picture with the sliding glass door closed.

 

[twosemiferalcat]

Hey guys, so I have an update. It's not good though.

Stars, the hissy one, started being extremely aggressive like batting (or swatting whatever the correct terminology is), biting, hissing, spitting, lunging...etc. It has never been this bad, but I don't know why he's starting to be like this. Nothing has changed in his environment and the only thing we're trying to do is pet him.

He still doesn't like being pet and runs away from us. We can't touch them ever, but we're trying to introduce them to petting slowly. We tried petting him once and he accepted it. The second time, he accepted it (completely different days). Then, the third time, he acted out and started batting, hissing, biting...

Why is this happening? Why are they so opposed to humans?

 

[maggie101]

Sounds like my cat Peaches. Sometimes I can pet her. Other times she will bite me. Just the way she is so I can tell when to not touch her. Especially over the head then I am a threat to her. She only wants to be touched when she wants to be. Same with playing. My cat Maggie chases after a string on the ground. Peaches waits til it stops moving then pounces. Since they play different they cannot play together.

 

[maggiedemi]

It only took 3 days for me to be able to pet my boy feral, starting with the long-handled duster. But he was really young, about a month old. My girl feral was about 6 months old when we took her in from the woods and she still doesn't like to be petted much, and she's almost 3 years old now. The boy is much friendlier. He used to sit on my lap when he was a baby, but now neither of them will. Feral cats can be really independent! We don't block off any places in the house except for under the recliner. They just have free roam of the house and interact with us when they want to. They love to climb high on shelves. My girl only really hisses when you make her do something she doesn't want to do or if she's constipated. I have to make sure she gets enough wet food, and not too much dry food.

 

[twosemiferalcat]

Hi guys...
I have sad news. So last time I updated, I said that Stars was acting up and that he was being aggressive. Well.... I found him on the ground this morning and he was unresponsive. We realized that he had gone to heaven. He was cold to the touch and....had already gone.

We had brought him home 2 months ago... I don't know what we might've done....he was up to date on his shots and physical examinations so I don't know what happened....

Also, I don't know what to do with the other one. He is probably greiving his loss. What should we do? Should we get another cat?

 

[tabbytom]

twosemiferalcat Oh dear! So sad. What could have happened in a sudden.

I feel terribly sorry for you as you've done so much and all you can. Yes, the other kitty is probably mourning for him.

Here's an article :-

Do Cats Mourn?

Please take a break and take care of yourself.

 

[maggiedemi]

Oh No, that's so sad! I was really rooting for you to be able to tame them. I wonder what happened. He must have been sick. If you eventually get another cat, maybe a tamer cat would help your remaining cat to learn that humans are safe?

 

[twosemiferalcat]

Thank you guys for rooting for me. Last night my little boy was playing by himself and then suddenly started meowing calling for the other one. Then, he went into his litterbox to calm himself. Then came out again meowing and then after there was no reply, he went back to the litterbox to calm himself. I was there next to him the entire time he went into his litterbox. I talked to him softly and told him it was okay.

I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing though because he is semi-feral and he doesn't really trust humans. I just thought he would be sad and lonely so I sat next to him the entire time.

Please let me know what I can do to help him through this...

 

[tabbytom]

It is good that you are staying by him. Keep playing with him and keep talking to him. Whenever he meows, answer him by saying it's ok, mummy or daddy is here and get a toy and play with him.

You are doing good and just keep the routine going as in the feeding , clearing of litter box and playing and assuring him.

 

[ginny]

I'm so sorry!

I'd say just keep doing what you're doing and comfort him by your presence. Poor baby.

 

[twosemiferalcat]

Should I pet him?? He hasn't allowed me to pet him before when Stars was still around. Should I go ahead and pet him??

 

[maggiedemi]

Do you have a duster with a long handle that you could pet him with? Or maybe a long stick you could put something soft on the end? It worked for my boy feral. My girl doesn't like being petted, at least not yet, but I keep trying!