Cat Introduction Woes

[losna]

Heehee, yeah it's adorable watching it. He trots along behind her, and reaches out to patpatpat her bum or grab her tail. She scoots forward out of his reach, runs a few feet, then turns around and saunters past him giving him plenty of opportunity to do it again.  

They sort of scoot around the house like this, every now and again taking a break to sprawl out looking at each other.

Sometimes there's a little aggression sneaking into the poking, but by and large, it really looks like they are trying to work out how to interact and find boundaries. The only time I thought about cutting things short was when she climbed onto his favorite dining room chair and he got pissy about it. But she jumped back down after a few minutes and they sorted out again.

 

[mservant]

   

   From that description @Losna, I think you are there.  

    Makes for such happy reading after all the care and patience you and hubby have shown with Tempest and Sinbad.  I appreciate you are anxious because of your previous experience,  but it really does sound like Sinbad and Bêlit are doing really well together and there's a good show of kitty flirting going on there as they make friends.  Bêlit sounds like she knows exactly how to handle young Sinbad. 

I really do hope that this helps to bring Tempest out of her shell too.  

 

[Columbine]

       From that description @Losna
, I think you are there.       Makes for such happy reading after all the care and patience you and hubby have shown with Tempest and Sinbad.  I appreciate you are anxious because of your previous experience,  but it really does sound like Sinbad and Bêlit are doing really well together and there's a good show of kitty flirting going on there as they make friends.  Bêlit sounds like she knows exactly how to handle young Sinbad. :lol3:

I really do hope that this helps to bring Tempest out of her shell too.  

I think you can say that they're safe to roam together 24/7 If there was going to be a problem you'd have seen it by now

 

[losna]

Ok, I will let her out then and see how it goes as I do housework and can't pay full attention to them.

 

[Columbine]

:cross: for them both

 

[losna]

All seems well. They played with one of Sinbad's ball toys for a while, he chased her tail all around the house, I even walked around a corner twice and saw them nose bumping!

Then Bêlit decided she'd had enough play time, it was time for a nap, and she swatted Sinbad to chase him off. At one point I had her curled up on my shoulder, and him at my feet. Now she's chilling in the living room, and he ran up to make sure his true love, Tempest, isn't lonely.

There is one puzzling thing though, hopefully someone can explain it to me. When it was dinner time, Sinbad didn't want his food, he wanted hers. It was the same thing, but he ignored his bowl as though it didn't exist and kept trying to chase her off so he could eat from her food bowl. She didn't budge though, and eventually he ran off in a sulk. He returned after she'd finished her meal, and watched and waited until she was half asleep before finally going to eat his own food.

What was that about?

 

[mservant]

I reckon Sinbad is trying to be boss cat, and testing her out.   That is really fantastic that the food behaviour didn't start a little spat.   Well done Bêlit.  

   And that they were willing to share you:  that is amazing!  

 Love how Sinbad ran off to check on Tempest too.  

 

[losna]

Yeah, it was funny. Hubby had an exhausting day so he went and took a little nap after coming home. I was in the bedroom chatting with him for a bit, and when I came out, there were three cats, all in a row, looking at me with full attention. Wish I'd had my camera. 

Tempest on top of her gate, Sinbad at the base of her gate, and Bêlit on the top stair, all in a line looking at me. 

We put her back in the bathroom while grocery shopping, and let her out when we came home just now, she met Sinbad at the top of the stair and they nose bumped!!

And then she wandered off, with him trotting behind, patting her bum and chasing her tail. 

 

[Columbine]

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Congratulations! Sinbad and Bêlit are now fully integrated :high5: If they can share (or try to, anyway ) food bowls without a fight then you definitely have nothing to worry about :happy2: I agree with mservant - Sinbad was simply trying to assert his authority as the senior cat. Shad and Asha do the same with treats - we'll give them each a plate of chicken (in different rooms, as Asha doesn't like eating next to her idol ), and Shad will leave his and steal Asha's instead if we don't watch them....before going back to eat his own :lol3: Perfectly normal boss cat behaviour, and nothing at all to worry about. I'm glad Bêlit stood her ground though rincess:

 

[losna]

I just wish Sinbad would stand his ground with his food. She comes over now to eat his, and he backs off. My hubby is talking about getting a squirt bottle to spray at her when she goes near Sinbad's bowl.

The biggest problems right now seem to be Sinbad's self confidence. Now that it's getting on time for bed he's needed a lot of comforting and coddling, and as I mentioned, he's letting her eat his food. Which is a real problem, since he's twice her size and more active - he needs much more food than she does.

 

[Columbine]

Well, the easiest thing might be to separate them at mealtimes. Asha, whilst totally confident and relaxed with Shadow, doesn't like to eat with him, so she eats in my bedroom and he eats downstairs on the dining table. They both know where their eating place is, and expect to go there to eat.

I'm sorry Sinbad's needing a lot of reassurance right now. Hopefully he'll improve in time, as he realises that Bêlit isn't a threat to his position in the house :cross: He's such a sensitive little guy that I guess it's only to be expected that you'd have a period like this. Hopefully his confidence will return again very soon :cross:

 

[losna]

Sinbad doesn't eat all his food at once, which is the problem. He eats a little bit, then wanders off and comes back periodically. She gobbles up hers, then comes over to eat what looks like another bowl of dinner. And if he sees her eating it, he just lets her, then begs for more - which he eats some of and leaves, and she comes over... etc etc.

Actually, now that I think about it, Sinbad used to eat like that - gobble up everything in sight the moment it was put down, then hunt/beg for more as if afraid mealtimes weren't going to come regularly. Hopefully she will settle down in time the way he has. I know that we feed them much, much better food than the rescue can afford to feed them, so my guess is that until they believe that they really are here to stay, they want to eat everything up they can.

 

[talkingpeanut]

I've been following this thread for a long time and have been totally in awe of your family and your patience with your kitties.

I felt like I needed to interject here. Please, please do not use a water bottle or any other punishment on Belit. She will not associate the punishment with eating from a different plate, but will feel threatened in her new home. It may also damage her burgeoning relationship with Sinbad, or her relationship with you.

 

[losna]

I've been following this thread for a long time and have been totally in awe of your family and your patience with your kitties.

I felt like I needed to interject here. Please, please do not use a water bottle or any other punishment on Belit. She will not associate the punishment with eating from a different plate, but will feel threatened in her new home. It may also damage her burgeoning relationship with Sinbad, or her relationship with you.

Yes, this is what I have been trying to tell my husband. It seems like a really bad idea to me. But he grew up with his grandmother, who has squirt bottles in every room of her house for her cats, so he is always quick to want to use them. Thus far I have won the no squirt bottle arguments, but he is really unhappy about Bêlit eating Sinbad's food so is being more insistent this time.

I've convinced him to give her more time for now, so hopefully she will realize that the food will not stop coming and she doesn't need to worry about cramming in every  morsel in case she doesn't get another.

The real problem is Sinbad's self confidence, or lack thereof. He is very fragile emotionally so my husband is very protective of him - he started having anxiety attacks when my husband was going through cancer treatments, for example (I'd had no idea cats could have anxiety attacks! It was rather frightening, and the vet said they can be fatal which was even more frightening). I'm doing what I can to reassure him that he's not being replaced. I think I've figured out what is triggering his periods of worry in relation to Bêlit though, so hopefully I can start preventing them now.

BY and large though, he seems to be enjoying her presence. This morning he had an excited play session with her tail. He pounced it, and she did nothing, so he enthusiastically went to town licking up and down her tail. 

I did just find one method that kept the peace for breakfast, hopefully it keeps working. I gave Sinbad his breakfast first, picked her up and held her until Sinbad was eating, then carried her to another room and gave her her food there. Sinbad didn't finish his breakfast as usual, but the distance and lack of a line of sight kept Bêlit from realizing there was another bowl of food. 

Last night I gave her hers first in an attempt to distract her from his, but this morning I remembered eating order is related to dominance for cats so tried this way instead and made her watch while he got his first. 

 

 

[losna]

The road to Pax Felis is paved with naps. These were super difficult to take! What you can't see due to blankets is Sinbad is sprawled across one of my arms and Bêlit is across one of my legs.

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• losna
• Jul 20, 2016

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• losna
• Jul 20, 2016

When she started crawling closer, it was clear when his comfort line started being crossed. And amazingly without him even hissing, all he did was look, she stopped and settled where she was.

I was able to nap with both of them like this!

Maybe soon they will cuddle with each other too!

 

[losna]

I will note with some amusement that once naptime was over and I wandered off to deal with cleaning and other sundries, Sinbad strolled off to sit in my chair in the office, and Bêlit went downstairs to settle on my chair in the living room. 

 

 

[Columbine]

Loving the progress and pictures :heart3: Such a happy house of felines :9:

I think Bêlit is perfectly clear in her mind that Sinbad ranks above her in the kitty pecking order....she just hasn't quite connected that up with his food bowl being HIS and his alone I think they way you handled things this morning was absolutely purrfect :high5: Hopefully, having Bêlit about the place will teach Sinbad to clean his plate in one go soon :cross:

Fantastic that they're sharing their mommy so well

 

[Kat0121]

Loving the progress and pictures

Such a happy house of felines

I think Bêlit is perfectly clear in her mind that Sinbad ranks above her in the kitty pecking order....she just hasn't quite connected that up with his food bowl being HIS and his alone

I think they way you handled things this morning was absolutely purrfect

Hopefully, having Bêlit about the place will teach Sinbad to clean his plate in one go soon

Fantastic that they're sharing their mommy so well

I think cats are happier when the pecking order has been established. Lily is our undisputed queen and I think that Sophie and Henry are happy to let her have that as they don't need to keep as close an eye on what anyone else does. The dog's old. She couldn't care less. She lets them duke it out. 

Yes, I agree that the progress that's being made is very good. Keep up the good work! 

 

 

[losna]

I'm still hoping she teaches him to approach Tempest properly so Tempest can come out too. ^.^

 

[mservant]

All this sounds amazing Losna.   You and the fur family are doing great, and experimenting with the food timing and location has to help, though I am sure a lot is down to Bêlit's time spent at the shelter and still worrying about food not always being there.   That she was careful about how she encroached on Sinbad's territory when both snuggling in with you is a good pointer to how they are relating, and hopefully Sinbad will start to feel more secure again as he learns that she is not about to leap in and swat him away from you or steal all his snuggles.   ( 

 for Sinbad ).   You are great at picking up on how he is feeling and this is sure to help.

How cute does Bêlit look all culred up in that blanket with you!   It's like the blanket is an extension of her fur.  

   Such cute, blissed out little kitty faces.  I don't think Sinbad would tollerate her being that close and curled up if he was really anxious about her being there at this stage - all fingers and toes crossed that you find them all bundled up as snuggle-buddies really soon.