Cat Introduction Woes

[losna]

A couple of weeks ago, we adopted 2 cats from a nearby shelter. They came to our house at the same time, although one, Tempest, had to be kept to herself in a room while the other, Sinbad, was able to have the run of the house immediately.

Any help anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated, we're having an odd problem with the attempted introductions that I've not managed to find addressed in any of the articles about introductions that I've found online.

First, the kitty personalities..

Tempest is a very sweet, but very reserved cat. She has been abandoned 3 times that we know about, so it takes her a long time to adjust to new places and people. But once she does, she is just so sweet and friendly and eager for snuggles. She is ready now to leave her room, and she very  much wants to.

When we decided to adopt a cat, we did a lot of research on the subject and decided to adopt 2, so they could keep each other company. So enter Sinbad. He's a very friendly, very outgoing cat. The president of the shelter suggested him as a companion for Tempest because he's so friendly and patient with other cats. She described him as having a "very high cat etiquette." We liked him a lot too when we met him, so we brought both of them home.

But here is the problem - Sinbad at first seems like he has a very high cat etiquette, but in fact it is the exact opposite. When we began the introduction process via a cracked door, then full cat gate, it very much seemed that way. Tempest would reflexively hiss at him, and he would just ignore it. Things seemed to be going well. Tempest got used to him and they interacted very well through the full cat gate; no hissing, lots of nose to nose sniffing, even friendly trills. So after several days of this, we decided a closely supervised and short introduction was in order.

And this is when we discovered our mistake. Sinbad does not understand cats AT ALL. He is so very eager to have a playmate that he immediately charges her and tries to cuddle. Like climb on top of her to snuggle type cuddle. Needless to say, Tempest does not like this at all. WE know that he's really just wanting to be friendly - when we present him with a sock that smells like her, or brush him with a brush we've used on her, for example, he starts licking and bunting them - but she is very threatened by his immediate charge and stares. 

Neither of them are actually hostile - Sinbad doesn't even realize they aren't playing chase and wrestle and Tempest runs away when we simply put an arm between them - but the feedback loop they get into when he immediately charges for play and doesn't realize she's afraid and fighting means that we just can't let them together.  

Since neither of them is actually wanting to fight, we're pretty sure things would go fine if we could somehow find a way to mitigate Sinbad's eagerness so he doesn't immediately try to hug. But nothing we've tried thus far has worked. I'd very much appreciate any advice anyone might have! We're in love with both of them now so returning one is not an option, but we have no idea what to do with this situation. If they were fighting and aggressive, we'd just start over the entire process (which we have already, for Tempest's sake mainly because he scared her) and go much more slowly, but the problem is overfriendliness and starting over isn't doing a thing for that! 

If anything, it's making it worse. The longer Sinbad goes without interacting with her, the more frantic he becomes to snuggle and stare when he does see her. I now can't even hold onto him when he thinks the door to her room is about to open, he struggles and charges right up there like an army of dogs was on his tail.

 

[feralvr]

Since you already have read and seemingly understand all of our introduction articles AND have done everything correctly then I won't re-post all of the articles for you BUT, yes, Sinbad does seem very, very anxious in wanting that relationship with Tempest. The good news is that, in time, it will happen but getting there is going to the challenge for you to be the mediator for Tempest and redirecting and restructuring Sinbad's attempts at full on frontal contact. He does sound so very, very darling, though. I am sure Tempest does not appreciate that in the least. I know my princess Perla simply cannot tolerate those advances either. It took her a very long time to accept Walden who was very much the same towards her as Sinbad is towards Tempest. Today, Walden doesn't really care much about Perla like he used too. He found out that she really is not interested and he just got tired of trying and got bored with her. I do have other cat's so that helped redirect his advances elsewhere.

There are two ways you can go about this and I can't really pick one over the other and these are just my suggestions. The two cats just live together, and be out together when you are home only and you able to intervene only if things get way out of hand. Meaning, let them figure it out and don't always put yourself between them thus making Sinbad even more determined. First (before you open Tempest door) , play with Sinbad alone before you let Tempest out of her room. Get him nice and tired with wand toys or whatever you think will get him moving. I use the Neko Fliers They also have interchangeable toys. After Sinbad has exerted some energy, then let Tempest out of her room, or open her door. Make sure she has many, many places (vertical space) to be able to retreat to in order to get away from his advances. This is VERY VERY IMPORTANT: VERTICAL SPACE and lots of it in the way of Cat trees and wall shelving or even a cabinet top or two. That way Tempest can move to higher ground thus avoiding and thus being able to feel that she can protect herself. There IS going to be some hissing and maybe more than that in her effort to get him to back off. LET THAT HAPPEN!!! It is alright and honestly, it is the only way for Tempest to learn that Sinbad really does not mean any harm and he is not hurting her - just bothering her wanting to get close. Eventually, Sinbad WILL learn how to approach her with more grace and more gentleness if he wants to become friends. He sounds very, very smart and I do think he is cat smart AND you have to realize that he is still trying to acclimate to this new home and territory.

My goodness! I just saw that you only brought them home a couple of weeks ago. This tells me that you may be moving way too fast for both of them. Tempest needs her quiet and peace to adjust and Sinbad needs HER to adjust and acclimate. Although, I will say, that bringing home two cats from the same shelter at the same time usually means intros will go much quicker since both are new to the home and neither has a more established social order over the other. But, that is moot now because Tempest was kept in her room for the first couple of weeks.

The second suggestion would be to keep them completely separated by a screen door or gates until such time as Sinbad just calms down and realizes that he is not going to be meeting her face to face anytime soon. I think in time he will settle and not be so desperate to interact with Tempest once he is feeling more secure with YOU and the new home. I would also suggest that you switch their territories for a few days. Tempest having the whole house and Sinbad having the smaller room. This way Tempest will be able to scope out the place without Sinbad bounding after her. She then can find special spots to call her own without him intruding and build confidence and safety in her new environment.

Might it be you are just rushing the situation even if it has only been 2 weeks? Sometimes, it can take much, much longer for two cats to learn to trust each other. Given their backgrounds, and being abandoned multiple times, then trust is not something they are used too. It takes time and loads of patience on the guardians. Frankly, I prefer doing it the first way I suggest and only putting Tempest in her room at night when you cannot constantly supervise or be within an ear's shot of confrontations so all can get some sleep peacefully. In time, I do think you will have a happy kitty family but only those two kitties can figure out when that will be. Once they BOTH are feeling more secure and settled (and two weeks is really not long enough through a cat's perspective of things), I am sure that Sinbad will come down a level or two and not be so needy, clingy and desperate and Tempest will become more tolerant. Then you will know progress is being made. Keep us posted!!!!!!! :cross: for good luck.

 

[losna]

Yeah, we did rush the process and were aware that we were rushing it. But even the vet and our shelter contact agreed with our reasoning.

We wanted to take a much longer time, but it became clear that giving Tempest the full time she wanted was literally starting to harm Sinbad. He was stressing out over there being a cat he couldn't see so much that he had begun overgrooming to injuring himself. He would sit in front of her door and lick and lick and lick and lick to the point that he stripped several patches of skin completely hairless and bleeding. Both of his back thighs are now almost entirely scabbed and raw, and they're completely hairless.

The vet gave us Feliway and anti-stress medication, but neither of them helped. So we finally cracked open the door - and that started to work to calm him down. It became clear that we were in a difficult situation because giving either cat what they seemed to need would be detrimental to the other. So we consulted the vet and the shelter again, and the best choice seemed to be to move a little more speedily on the process of introducing them.

Initially when we let them see each other through the gate, she hissed and swiped at him a few times and all he did was calmly back up a few steps. So what we expected was that he'd approach, she'd hiss and swipe, and he'd back off and just follow her around. Unfortunately, he bumrushed in want of snuggles.

He is actually really intelligent so far as I can tell. He knows how to open all the cabinets so we had to get child safety locks, he even does things like come to get me right before the tea kettle whistles in the morning because he hates the loud screech it makes. If he gets me too early I don't stop it, if he gets me too late it screeches, so now he knows just the right moment to let me know the water is ready. He even takes medicine without a fuss because he has learned that when we do something he hates, he starts to feel better!  What amuses me the most is the he plays fetch. If I wave something in front of him a few times, say 'go get it' and throw it, he'll chase it down, 'kill' it, bring it back and drop it into my hand. He's also figured out that if he brings me a toy I'll play with him so I will often end up with a collection of toys at my feet if I'm doing something like washing dishes when he wants to play. It's just adorable. 

Thank you for the advice.  We will likely opt for the second suggestion, because we tried the first! But even tag teaming for an entire evening we weren't able to exhaust him to the point where he didn't immediately sprint up the stairs the moment one of us made a move for Tempest's door. We also thought letting her fight him off would get him to back down, but he honestly never seems to realize that they weren't just playing. So the longer we waited, the more she kept escalating to the point that we're afraid one of them will seriously injure the other if we let them continue.   

We have many climby things and hidey holes, but he just chases her onto and into every one as she tries to flee. 

So I think we'll see what happens if we leave the door open and gate up all the time. When the hubby is home, anyway! I'm home all day but I have an injured leg so if something unexpected happened and she got out and they began tearing around the house fighting the way they did when we introduced them, I wouldn't be able to stop them or really do anything about it. We haven't tried the gate open all the time because he just sits and stares at her trying to get her to play and she stresses out.

But maybe just giving her extra reassurances for the first few days or week will help.

We've reflected that it's such a shame she had to go into her room so they weren't able to bond over being in a new home. But there was no way she would have managed that - in fact the shelter wrote into our contract that she needed time in her own room to settle in. She is such a special case that we had lots of extra clauses written in (to make up for it they gave us a bunch of things like a scratching and climbing post for her, carrying case, litter box, etc), but we loved her when we met her so are willing to put in the effort.

Now if only we could figure out the best kind of effort because we love him too!

 

[losna]

Let me add a quick correcting as I'm rereading this - I inadvertently  made him seem worse than he is right now. The moment we started cracking open the door, his overgrooming largely stopped. His fur is starting to grow back in, and only the two worst areas are still scabbed. 

I just worry about them and worry so much about not knowing the best thing to do that when I start talking I stress myself out.  

 

[feralvr]

First off, I want to give you a cyber-hug for taking in these two kitties. You have a real good and loving heart. I honestly, and please forgive me for saying so, wonder why the shelter staff let you take such an over-friendly, out-going cat with one that they say is a special case and needs quiet and peace and one that is very sensitive. :scratch: But, maybe they did not know HOW forward thinking and how assertive Sinbad would be wanting a connection with another kitty. I am not picking on the shelter staff at all!!!! I know first hand that it is not always easy to judge exactly how two shelter cat personalities will mesh after they leave the shelter. Sometimes, we try to adopt out cats together that have already developed some sort of in-shelter relationship. Well, it is water under the bridge now and you must deal with this situation and I think it will work out. :cross:

It sounds to me that you are really, really on top of all of this and are doing everything by the book and exactly how I would be doing it. The medication for Sinbad should have helped him though. I wonder what it was? He definitely is stressing and definitely needs to be close to another cat. Tempest is the complete opposite - like my Perla - who just wants to be left alone. I do hope that in time Sinbad can settle and relax enough to allow Tempest time to accept him as her lifelong friend. Only time will tell and really, you are doing all you can to make this work.

I agree that the second suggestion is the way to go since the first one you already tried and it did not work most likely because it was too much too fast for such opposing kitty personalities. No fault of yours in the least and sometimes the only way we can find out about these things IS to just DO. So taking a step back and keeping them separated BUT with constant VISUAL access is the best way to go. A lot of people have great success with installing a temporary screen door to the safe room. You can also switch out their territories and let Tempest have the opportunity to roam the house and Sinbad have the opportunity to be in her space. He probably won't like that idea much, though. BUT, to be fair to Tempest, she should be allowed to get comfortable in the rest of house just as he has. Remember, this is only temporary and a means to an end. Not everyone will be happy with these decisions but in the scheme of things it is the way it has to be done.

I think if Sinbad has constant visual access (and scent) to Tempest, he will calm and you already say that has stopped the over-grooming. There is something really odd that I am going to share with you and it has actually worked with Perla and accepting both Walden AND Wendall (who enjoys teasing her). Especially Wendall. Finally, after a couple of years things are going so much better and believe it or not the following has helped.

Both Wendall and Perla love a certain kind of canned food and come running and begging for it even after they have had breakfast already. One will jump on the counter in the laundry room (where I feed them) usually Perla first and then Wendall. Perla will give him the evil eye and I gently turn Wendall the other way and :anon: let Perla sniff his butt.... :lol3: I only did this because she has never been able to do that before and that is one of the very first or second ways cats meet - they sniff butts!!! Right??!! It was the perfect opportunity and I took advantage of the fact that they both were willing to be on the same counter at the same time and thought Wendall owed Perla this opportunity after all of his ambushes on her. At first, Perla would hiss. Wendall did not care at all that I allowed this and I gave him treats while she was sniffing. (This is so embarrassing to share because I don't know of any other person who has ever done this but me. ) The second and third time I offered Wendall's rear to her she did not hiss at all. SUCCESS !!!!!!!! And, honestly, I swear, it has made ALL the difference in the world with her accepting him. Crazy as it sounds, it worked for Perla. And, Wendall, sees how much more confident Perla is around him now that he is not teasing her as much anymore. WIN - WIN.. Butt sniffing.

Now - I only attempted this well into their developed relationship after two years of being together and things not improving too well between them but I have learned a new technique and will definitely use it again between two cats that are at that stage of their relationship. For Sinbad and Tempest - this could be something down the road you could try because Sinbad seems so easy going, so sweet, and so fun-loving that he may be just fine with trying something like this once he fully trusts you and is a willing participant. Who knows - I just thought I would share my silliness AND success. :bigthumb:

Keep us posted and GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!!! Your doing a great job overall and everything you possibly can to make this work.

 

[losna]

Thanks for the good luck.

As to the shelter - the president of the shelter actually apologized to us for not knowing how needy Sinbad was. She had recommended Sinbad as a companion to Tempest because she thought he was a remarkably well-adjusted, friendly cat.  She said if she'd known how needy he was she would have warned us at the very least and tried to prepare us if we insisted on taking him too. She also gave us her home phone number and said we could call her at any time for help and advice. So she's been great.

Sinbad has turned out to be a much more complicated cat than he seems to be. He's had a tough draw in some ways. He was taken too early from his mother due to being sickly and needing care, and the foster family who took him in responded to this by over-vaccinating him. His medical sheet has three pages  of booster shots and vaccinations that were given within a 6-week period. The vet called the shelter when the family wanted even more, and the shelter responded by removing him from their care, investigating, and we don't have more details than that, but the result of that investigation had that foster family completely removed from the system. He was then given to another foster home, a woman with no means of transportation who stayed at home all the time.

From what we can tell, she smothered him to the point that he doesn't know how to be a cat anymore. So what you see when you're not housing him is a friendly, well-adjusted and outgoing cat. It's not until you watch him more closely for a longer period of time that he starts to seem odd.

Now he's been with us for a while, and what we're seeing is a cat that has no idea how to be a cat. For example - he thinks that staring is a sign of affection. He had clearly never actually really played before we started giving him toys - he didn't know how to chase and hunt!!! It's cute watching him learn how to sneak, hunt and pounce, but a cat over 1 year old shouldn't be new to these things in the way he clearly was. We're also starting to wonder if we should be concerned about his claws, because he doesn't seem to know how to sharpen them either. He never scratches anything. The closest he gets to normal claw usage is when I snuggle him on one particular blanket, he'll do the enthusiastic kitten kneading its mother's breast thing. 

So essentially, it seems like his second foster mother just sat and stared at him and cuddled all day. My conversations with the shelter president have only reinforced that perception, too.

Now, we can return him. Since the shelter knew that Tempest was needing extra care to adjust, one of the clauses in our contract that she changed was to greatly extend the period of time we have to return one of them. We have until next year. But we're so in love with both of them that's just not an option. I'll admit that a few days before I posted I was just so heartbroken seeing him the way he was, stressed out and licking himself nigh to self-mutilation that I thought it might be better for him to bring him back, however much the thought broke my heart. But thankfully my hubby smacked me around on that one. Hehe. He's right - Sinbad follows me around all day with his tail flying high like a flagpost, rubbing up against my legs and purring happily just to be in the same room as me. However much he may be upset at not having Tempest to play with, he'd be worse off if we abandoned him even if it was a misguided attempt to do what was best for him.

I try to take comfort in the fact that the shelter president said she was so very happy Sinbad and Tempest found us, and that we are so obviously caring about them and trying very hard to make it work that we have the best odds of making it happen. So there is that. But it is still upsetting to see him so unhappy as we try to find ways to make it happen! 

Our plan now is as much visual contact as we can manage. We had the thought that perhaps if Sinbad had some "playtimes" with other cats he might do better as well, so this weekend we're going to go to the shelter and see what they think of that thought, and if there are any cats who might be suitable. We don't want a third cat, but if Sinbad had some time to play with another kitty he might be less desperate for play with Tempest and give her some space to get used to him. He doesn't mind the cat carrier at all, and he likes to explore new places rather than being scared by them (he doesn't even mind going to the vet!), so we could bring him somewhere to play for a bit without stressing him out. At this point we're certain that it's "nothing more than" not having a cat to see and interact with that's stressing him out so much. 

 

[feralvr]

The shelter president does, in fact, sound incredibly compassionate, caring and kind. How wonderful that you have a support system in place at any time and that they are so understanding and concerned for both Sinbad and Tempest. :bigthumb: I am glad to hear that you will not be returning Sinbad either. I think that would really put him into panic mode and he would become more and more desperate/needy and messed up. He IS VERY, VERY SMART and I can tell from what you are telling me. Highly intelligent also means a bit high maintenance. I have one of those and they do make for a life filled with constant companionship and joy. It sounds like Sinbad is well on his way to attaching himself to you. :heart3:

I would be very cautious about bringing him to the shelter for playtime. There are many, many ongoing viruses being passed around, coming and going, so I would not opt for doing that AND it could really backfire and make him quite nervous. I think you are on the right track though AND I have seen many people bring their cat to Petco or Petsmart and/or nearby parks with walks in a stroller. He may benefit greatly from that kind of exposure and that could wind him down a bit at home. OR if you have any friends/family that have an outgoing kitty with whom Sinbad can have playdates with. Funny to say that, because most cats would be totally against such things, but there are some who would benefit greatly by the experience.

You are teaching him all about how to be a "happy" kitty and the rest he will figure out. Catnip is always one way to try to get a cat to scratch on their cat trees and cardboard boxes. Most cats love those floor corrugated cardboard pads. I usually sprinkle lightly with catnip. How sad about all of his vaccinations but not sure that would cause behavioral issues but certainly could cause health issues.

I always find that people - not saying you - always tend to want to rush the happy cat family only to become disappointed when setbacks occur AND THEY WILL !!!! That comes with the territory of owning multiple kitties. Slower is better and the more time spent taking time, the better the relationships will form. Cats are so very complicated in psyche when it comes to each other - not like dogs - and it can feel like forever for them to become friends. :lol3:

 

[losna]

This doesn't have anything to do with introductions, but since I was talking about his knowing how to be a cat I thought I would post this here!

I think that we have managed to teach Sinbad how to hunt! Shortly after we brought him home, a fly got into the house and although it clearly aroused his hunting instinct he had no idea what to do with it. He chased it around, but obviously didn't know how to actually attack it.

This morning the weather was so nice I opened up the front door and some windows. Some bugs got in.

I just heard a very strange warbling Sinbad cry so went downstairs to see what he'd gotten up to. The mighty hunter had lined up his trophies for mommy. There are no bugs anymore! 

2014-08-21 16.25.45.jpg

• losna
• Aug 21, 2014

 

[feralvr]

How WONDERFUL and KIND of Sinbad to save you from those terrible pests. :lol3: He lined them up neatly in order, just for you.... to eat.... I think this is only the beginning of a long list of funny antics that he will entertain you with. Thanks for sharing!

 

[losna]

Hello! I thought I would drop an update in, since we had a Grand Adventure last night.

We've been leaving the door to Tempest's room open full time with a 4 foot gate up. Sinbad is still super interested in being friends, but he has actually started calming down a little with more "face time". He still spends a lot of time up watching her and trilling at her, but he's no longer avidly glued to the door 24/7. He'll actually come away from it now when it's open, which is an improvement!

We were thinking we'd give them another week and then gate him into the kitchen and let her out to explore the house a little, so she could get used to the house without having to deal with scary big house and kitty at the same time. But last night our hand was forced...

Tempest escaped. I was awake for a funny reason - there was a bad storm. And while storms don't bother Sinbad in the slightest, Tempest seemed rattled so we had decided to leave her door open while we slept because she can see down into the bedroom and we thought she'd be comforted to see us even if she couldn't come out. But Sinbad has a very big heart, and he is very earnestly trying to be friends even as Tempest continues rejecting him. So while she was up being afraid of the storm, he was up outside her door trying to comfort her. I know that it was attempted comfort rather than attempts at contact, because he was making the sounds he makes at me when I'm sick. So I was awake because he would spend time up trying to comfort Tempest, then come into the bedroom and wake me up for snuggles. Then he would run back up to Tempest...

So in the wee hours of the morning, I was awake and heard a THUMP from Tempest's room. Sinbad was curled in my lap being scritched, so I could tell he'd heard it too, but as he didn't move I just thought Tempest was jumping around on her post. Well, it turns out that wasn't the case...

A few minutes later I heard kitty claws on the bedroom floor. Sinbad's head whipped around and he very cautiously left the bed. I started to wake up my hubby, a little excited because there wasn't hissing going on, no growling, nothing. Unfortunately, Tempest made a bad choice that cut the greetings short. She retreated from Sinbad and jumped onto the nearest vertical spot she could find - his scratching post.  If she had gone anywhere but there, I suspect things would have stayed ok, but that post is very important to Sinbad so he went from welcoming to defending his territory. So the end result was a tearing race across the house as he chased her off.

But I think it went better than might be expected overall. They didn't actually fight - when he chased her away from his post she just wanted to flee. All she did was go scrambling around the house with Sinbad in pursuit until the hubby shouted - at which point she just went back to her room. That's how we discovered she had escaped simply by jumping as she very easily jumped right over it. Poor Sinbad tried to follow but he's a climber not a jumper so he just rebounded into it and fell down. Neither cat was injured, both were simply spooked. I took Sinbad into the bedroom, the hubby went in to Tempest's room and both cats calmed down pretty quickly with cuddles, scritches and reassurances. 

Based on what I heard, and felt from Sinbad while he was on my lap, I think what happened is Tempest came down looking for cuddles. Sinbad showed remarkable (for him) restraint and carefully approached to greet. But she wasn't ready to deal with another cat so tried to escape and his post was the nearest vertical space she could find. This upset him and we wound up with a chase. I can't be absolutely certain as it was dark and I didn't see any of it, but based on what I know of both cats I'm as certain as I can be that that's how things went.

At this point it's clear that neither of them actually wants to fight. He thinks they are playing (he loves playing chase), and she just wants to flee. But I'm worried that one of these days he'll get her cornered and she'll outright attack as she'd then be a cornered animal with nowhere to run.

 

[feralvr]

This is all very good progress, actually!!! Sometimes, our worry is much more than necessary. The kitties will figure each other out and there will be some vocal exchanges and some racing about but hopefully - you are well past the point of any potential serious confrontations. Tempest is slowly accepting her new home and her new companion. And, since Sinbad is a climber not a jumper and Tempest is the jumper - then that is going to be in her favor IF she needs to escape from Sinbad. :lol3: I would allow her the option to jump in and out of her room IF she needs a retreat.

What a gorgeous boy Sinbad is!!!! I saw the scratching post picture. They must be beautiful together and soon we will be seeing pictures of them cuddled up together. :bigwink: :cross: :cross:

 

[losna]

Here's to hoping for snuggle pics!

He really is an amazing little guy. We started leaving her door open all the time at night now. And last night another storm blew in while we were sleeping, and he did the same thing. Woke both of us up to go comfort the scared Tempest, and then after we went back to sleep he spent all night once again camped by her door chirping comfort so she wouldn't be alone. 

How she can continue rejecting such earnestness is just beyond me, although her resolve does seem to be weakening slowly.  Right now she only hisses at him when we try to give her treats or feed her when he's staring in at her. We've seen a lot of introduction guides talking about giving the cats treats near each other and slowly moving their food bowls until they're eating on other sides of the door/gate - but we've decided that's just not happening. She doesn't like the way he eats, the mannerless heathen that he is.  

We're probably going to have to continue feeding them separately even after she's out of her room. She eats slowly, going back to her bowl repeatedly over an hour or two. But he devours everything in his path, sucking it up like he's a vacuum cleaner. If we feed them together he's likely to eat her food along with his and I suspect the food hissing is because she knows it. 

 

[smokem]

Get another cat?Young male maybe for Sinbad to pal with?

I know ,two is too many and a thousand never enough.

Then the girl could sit back and watch,and not be expected to be his Teddy Bear.

 

[losna]

Another cat isn't an option. We did ponder and look into that possibility, but our town has 3 cats as the line for breeding and shelter licenses and other such nonsense. We'd have to go through a ton of inspections and pick up expensive licenses to have 3 or more cats. Plus allow the city to send inspectors over whenever they felt like it. It's ridiculous.

 

[feralvr]

We're probably going to have to continue feeding them separately even after she's out of her room. But he devours everything in his path, sucking it up like he's a vacuum cleaner. If we feed them together he's likely to eat her food along with his and I suspect the food hissing is because she knows it. 

Books or no books, there are times when we need them and times when we go with our gut !!! YOU know the cats and sometimes plans and steps need to be altered. :bigthumb: YOUR doing a great, great job. And I know this will have a wonderful outcome!!! :cross: :high5:

And, although I can see Smokem's point in thinking of adding another cat, I would definitely not do that in this particular case. THEN poor Tempest could have TWO after her. It could do the opposite of what you had in mind and planned. Believe me, I have seen this happen. :lol3: And, anyway, things are surely improving in the right direction.

 

[losna]

I caught them playing "patty cakes" through the gate this morning. 

Though Tempest was embarrassed and immediately hissed at him and ran away to hide when she realized I saw them. It was adorable. 

 Hopefully she comes out of her room soon. She's started hanging out on top of the gate, peering at the house, so she's definitely making progress. 

 

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

 
I caught them playing "patty cakes" through the gate this morning. 

Though Tempest was embarrassed and immediately hissed at him and ran away to hide when she realized I saw them. It was adorable. 

 Hopefully she comes out of her room soon. She's started hanging out on top of the gate, peering at the house, so she's definitely making progress. 

 

oh, that's so wonderful -- playing "patty cakes"!

it may be that sinbad staying close to comfort tempest during the storms has gotten tempest started feeling more comfortable with sinbad.

 

[feralvr]

She's started hanging out on top of the gate, peering at the house, so she's definitely making progress. 

 

Getting BRAVE, I see. WONDERFUL!!! This is always the part I just love and enjoy to observe when the kitties are really beginning to develop their relationships ON TOP of feeling more confident in their new home and be willing to do more investigating. I think you are in for some very fun kitty antics and shenanigan's !!!!!

 

[losna]

Two steps forward, one back... or maybe three steps back. Alas! She gathered her courage and came out, and he promptly chased her around the house again. Now she growls at him whenever she sees him. I had to shut the door this morning because she was lunging at him through the gate. She nearly took it down trying to claw at him.

I'm back to not knowing what to do, this is even worse than when they began.

But I'm terribly ill at the moment. So I'm hoping the disruption in routine and whatnot that comes from me being mostly unable to get out of bed is the cause of increased feline frustrations. I know Sinbad is going bonkers because I can't play with him. 

 

I do want to say thanks for all the replies. It really helps to have a place where I can come and talk about it! 

 

[micknsnicks2mom]

 
Two steps forward, one back... or maybe three steps back. Alas! She gathered her courage and came out, and he promptly chased her around the house again. Now she growls at him whenever she sees him. I had to shut the door this morning because she was lunging at him through the gate. She nearly took it down trying to claw at him.

I'm back to not knowing what to do, this is even worse than when they began.

But I'm terribly ill at the moment. So I'm hoping the disruption in routine and whatnot that comes from me being mostly unable to get out of bed is the cause of increased feline frustrations. I know Sinbad is going bonkers because I can't play with him. 

 

I do want to say thanks for all the replies. It really helps to have a place where I can come and talk about it! 

awwww..........a little setback, little bump in the road. is sinbad comfortable being held in your arms? maybe you could try holding him when tempest ventures out? or maybe try a cat harness (http://www.thecatsite.com/a/harness-and-leash-training-for-cats    most cats aren't immediately comfortable in a harness, they need a little training) for sinbad, so you could hold sinbad back from his natural inclination to run up to tempest (in a friendly way, but that tempest doesn't understand)? if tempest could roam around the house and have sinbad just watch her, just let her do that, for a few times. let tempest walk up to sinbad, make the first move. that might help. it's got to be so hard for sinbad -- wanting so much to be friendly with tempest.

i'm sorry you're feeling ill. i hope you feel better soon!