Can't Tame Feral...i Am Near Tears...need Advice

[sweetblackpaws]

KrazyForKats, it sounds like Taffy Tabby is doing great, actually! Just the fact that you can pet him is huge! I truly think he will be just fine! I would feel so much better if I could at least pet her, even if just for a moment.

Shadowrescue, I know you are right - I could never let her back out at this point. But she looks so sad sometimes. Being in an apartment does not help, but I guess it beats sleeping in the bushes. She will take treats if I don't get too close. That is a great idea about shaking the bag and making sure to have it with me each time I enter! I want her to associate: Sweetblackpaws = SNACKTIME!

Also, I think I need to get her more stuff. I have been putting off on cat furniture and larger items since I am moving, but I think she needs some cat furniture and also some interactive toys.

 

[msaimee]

There are some feral cars, usually adult males, who don't adjust to indoor life, and for whom confinement is a source of stress and depression. I had one feral cat like that. Muffin lived life on his own terms and loved his freedom more than anything in life, and I honored that request and cared for him on my porch for several years until till he passed. The other eight feral and semi feral cats that my neighbors and I have taken in over the past 5 years have been successfully domesticated to indoor life. My cat, Sonny, goes out with me on a lead and harness. He is the cat who really loves to be outdoors, and that is our compromise. My cat, Mia, is still fairly feral. I can handle her when I need to, but she does not like to be touched, and spends most of her time under my bed. She is the cat who had gotten shot while a kitten . She has never expressed the desire to return outside, and in fact she runs in the opposite direction of an open door. Are they all completely happy all of the time? I'm sure there are times they are bored, or annoyed with each other, or with me, or would like to be outside on a warm day. But they are loved and well cared for.

You've only had Apple for about a week. She has made incredible progress during that time. From everything you have described about her and the life she has led, I believe she is meant to be living with you indoors. I believe that in 6-12 months from now, she will likely be lying on your bed with you at night. I hope you will send us that picture

 

[rubysmama]

As I've posted before, I have no experience with socializing ferals, so don't really know how you're feeling, but I do know that Apple is safe and loved. She might not know it yet, we all do.

Not sure if this has been mentioned in this thread or not, but I've read that instead of just opening the door to the room with the feral cat, you should announce your arrival before you open the door, so that the cat knows the door is going to open, and that it will be you. And when you bring treats, you can say "Apple, want treats?"

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! I just remember her playing outside, rolling around in the grass. But I also need to remember all the threats outdoors that she faced. I hope you are right and that one day she will be curled up in bed with me.

We are going to the vet next week for her SNAP test, vaccines, etc. I will certainly let you all know as soon as I know something.

She had a "trial run" of gabapentin this morning and it works like a charm. I think she will do fine in the car.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Glad the gabapentin worked! You will be relieved after next week!

I too think of my cats when they were outside running in the yard. It sometimes makes me sad. Yet, I think of how much I worried about them daily. I had coyotes in the yard a few times each week. Each morning I would wake up and hope that all 3 were still alive.

Do you have a window she could look out? I have 3 large windows in the room where I have the cats. I have bird feeders at two of the windows. They very much enjoy watching the birds.

Last week, 2 of the feral boys came out of their room to explore. My other animals were put away. I had the windows open as it was warm. Neither one would go near the open window.

 

[msaimee]

Later on down the road, when she is socialized and you can handle her, you can train her to go out on a lead and harness. This is what I do with my cat Sonny. He doesn't walk beside me like a dog, he mostly eats grass, climbs a crab apple tree in my backyard, walks around when he feels like it, and now and then takes off in a sprint with me running behind. I have a very long lead so he has plenty of room. It's the compromise we made because he loved being outside so much. Just to let you know that there are future options for you. My apologies to those of you who have seen this photo before lol.

 

[Teri122]

sweetblackpaws , I also know what you are feeling. I look at Tabitha's pictures when she was outside, laying in the sun, trotting up the steps when she saw me, etc. I also think about how happy she was following Oliver around, especially in the evening. They all looked so natural and content. But Oliver was brought inside last March and Tabitha was alone out there, and it seemed so lonely, and not safe from intruding strays. When I think of the other 4 strays (not ferals) that I brought inside before her, none of them seem sad to be inside. They are all now protected and safe. Tab is really starting to look like she belongs inside now, at week 12. She had a setback with an unknown injury that has responded well to prednisolone, but when I watch her on the camera at nite and see her rolling around on the floor, laying in beds and on chairs I know it is better than laying in the dirt, looking for dry spots in the cold windy rain, looking for pals that aren't around and meeting up with other cats that can hurt her... I know its the right thing for her to be inside. I won't even mention all the (MANY) hours spent looking for her when I think she should be on the porch, worrying when she is an hour late for dinner, literally running outside at 3AM because I heard a catfight. It isn't about me though, it's for them. Give your baby time. It will come.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Thank you, I know I need to be more patient. She just looks sad sometimes and won't come out of her carrier except to eat and occassionally, she will come out and roll around on her back for a few minutues.

I bought her a Smart Kat scratcher which I have not seen her use. I put catnip on it, too.

I need to call the cable co. and have Wi fi put into my apartment - never needed it before now. Then I can watch her at night.

MsAimee, I love that harness - what kind is it? I have the Holster Kitty harnesses, but the cats aren't crazy about them.

We go to the vet Monday for SNAP testing, vaccines, etc, so I will give you all an update.

 

[KrazyForKats]

Good luck with the vet on Monday. If I didn’t have the kitty cam, I would never have seen Charlie playing. I also use it when I am out of town. The cat sitter never sees Pixie, but I spot her on the camera.

 

[msaimee]

Cats are never going to like wearing a harness, and I think it's nearly impossible to train one to get used to wearing it while inside. Once they begin to associate the harness with going outside, then they accept wearing it. My method of harness training a cat is different from anything I've read. Basically, I take the cat outside in my back yard with the harness and lead on. After a few minutes of rolling around and struggling with the harness, the cat begins to realize he's outside and focuses on his surroundings. 10 minutes later, he's walking around, eating the grass, and not focusing on the harness. Over time he begins to walk more naturally with it on. I have two leads attached to each other so there's a good amount of freedom to walk around or even take off in a sprint. But you need to be able to handle your kitty before you can take her out like this, but I just want you know that it is very doable.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Good luck with the vet on Monday. If I didn’t have the kitty cam, I would never have seen Charlie playing. I also use it when I am out of town. The cat sitter never sees Pixie, but I spot her on the camera.

I use one too. I run mine 24/7 and record motion at night. It was invaluable when Hampton was sick. It was how I caught him peeing 20x in one night. It's also really good to see the cats playing at night. I use Amcrest and found it on Amazon.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

No, it's not for my feral - Apple will not be able to wear a harness - I have been feeding her for nearly a year and can't touch her. I was thinking that my other cats might like it better than the kitty holster kind.

I haven't seen evidence in the last night or two of her playing when I am asleep. I will speak to the vet Monday, but I don't think she is happy inside. I will give it more time, it's only been two weeks, but I won't keep her in if she is unhappy. I am sad tonight. I have only seen her come out of her carrier twice today, to eat. I lay down and read to her and try to play, etc.

 

[msaimee]

Two weeks is not long enough for you to give up on keeping her indoors. If she were truly miserable, she would be crying and caterwauling, especially during the night, she would be scaling the walls and windows and trying desperately to escape. I know this from first-hand experience. The fact that she's not doing any of these behaviors, and she is eating and drinking and using the litter box, means she is adjusting to life indoors. Two weeks is not long at all. Even when adopting a domesticated cat, or a shelter cat or a stray it takes more than two weeks for the cat to adjust to his or her new life and home. Also, you are planning to move in a few months. Have you found someone who would care for her in your absence? If not, you would abandon her without a caregiver?

I mentioned that there was one feral cat that I didn't force to live inside my home because he was a true feral, wanted to live life on his own terms, and went completely nuts when I tried to take him into my home. So I released him back outside. I do believe I made the right decision, at least I like to think so.. However, after about five or six years of life, he died from AIDS. His picture now hangs on my living room wall, and his grave marker is in my backyard. That was the price we both paid for his freedom. It was a very high price. So before you decide Apple isn't happy and release her back outside, consider the possible consequences of that decision.

 

[Jcatbird]

Please hang on! You need much more time together before making a life changing and such a permanent decision. It sometimes takes me months to reach a point where I can hold a rescue. That is a moment of pure joy! I often bring in leaves, straw, sticks and grass to put on the floor for the kitties. The wonderful scent of outdoors livens them all up. They roll in it and play with it. Now even my older cats want me to do that. These things were the only toys they had in the beginning. There are many, many things that can be tried before you decide to release. If you get tired or discouraged I suggest you think , not of the cat playing outside before, but of what you saved kitty from. The lifespan of an outdoor kitty is much shorter for many reasons. There may be a small percentage that don’t adapt but you won’t know if this is one of them for a long time yet. Don’t give up! A life depends on it. You re actually making great progress. I know it doesn’t seem that way to you now but give it time. Trust! The folks here are giving you great advice. Have the attitude, it will work! Kitty may pick up your feelings. Keep posting and everyone will support you and work you through this. Smile! You are saving a life! It will work! I am sending you both calm and playful vibes!!!

 

[shadowsrescue]

Please please please get rid of the thought of putting her back outside. Who will care for her when you leave? By doing that she will not survive. Remember the dogs and other humans that would scare and torment her?

I am almost to the 5 month mark with my 3. One still hides almost all day. He has days he hides all night too. Yet there is no way I would put him back outside.

Most will learn to adjust but it takes so much time. The first one I brought inside took one solid year. It was hard, but now he is the sweetest of all my cats. He sleeps with us and is very loving. He doesn't like to be picked up or held, but he does like pets.

Yes, as mentioned above, Apple will pick up on your dejected and sad thoughts. Have a positive attitude that this will work. If you go and discuss this with your vet, he will most likely tell you to set her free and that it is not possible. You know that is not true from all of the testimonies here. It just takes time.

Start today with the attitude that this will work. Be happy with Apple. Tell her you will always care for her and that you know this is hard, but together it will work out. She is warm, safe and loved. She is eating and using the litter box. She is not yowling, howling or trying to break out of the room. All good signs.

As I mentioned before, do not set lofty goals of when you want something to happen. That is often not practical with feral cats. They work on the adgenda of 1 step forward, 2 steps back. Lots of time and patience is needed.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Well, it is true she has never once attempted to run out of the room, so that is good. Yes, surely she must sense how worried I am about her, which doesn't help. Also, I have 3 other cats, one of whom is a really big boy who loves to play, so I hope he doesn't frighten her.

I love her, I won't release her back outside, but I do think this is going to be a very long journey and I don't think she will be socialized in time for the move, so that will be rough.

I am encouraged by all your experiences. She has known me for over a year now, so I guess that is why I thought things would progress faster, but I know this is a new world for her. I just hope in time she comes to know how loved she is.

I will let you all know how the vet visit goes on Monday.

 

[Jcatbird]

I have little battery time and a broken charger but I am using my time on you. I have now brought in , tamed and adopted out 41 cats. Exhausted and sometimes feeling deflated I listened to supporters and kept going. The rewards are unbelievable! The joy, the lives saved and the love....... too many good things to mention. I still struggle at times but I will not give up and I believe the kitties know this. Even the wilder ones feel that I am trying to help them. Cats are smart and intuitive. I often spend hours sitting outside in the dark and unmoving with them. Curious, they eventually come to investigate me. With Carl Buddig brand ham in my hand they are drawn to my fingers. I let them pull the treat from my fingers but remain still. After they realize I won’t be aggressive they start to rub against me, climb on me, use me as a part of their landscape. Once they are used to the “landscape”, when they run my hand , I put out a finger to run the back of their neck when they aren’t looking. Finally they do notice I am rubbing them and after a few times of doing this I begin to move a little. Things progress from there. I have laid on my stomach in the dark with them for many nights in a row. Consistency helps. Letting them come to me has not failed me yet. Patience and you will have your hearts’ desire. This kitty will gain confidence! You are so close! Don’t feel down. You are going to get there before you know it. Everyone here is supporting you. Be like the kitty...... feel our good vibes!

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Thank you, it does give me hope reading these rescue stories because she does seem to be regressing, and no longer wants to eat in my presence. When I first brought her in, she would usually come of her carrier and meow when she saw me, especially if I had a plate of food. However, she is eating, drinking and using the litter box and I know that is progress. She still makes no attempt to run out of the room, which is good.

I did look for Carl Buddig ham at the store yesterday, that is funny - I remember eating that as a kid and find it irresistable! The store didn't have it. I have tried dipping my fingers in catnip, tuna juice, etc.

All I can do it continue to spend as much time as possible with her. I'm okay if she never lets me pet her - I just don't want her to be frightenend and afraid to come out of her carrier.

 

[shadowsrescue]

After the vet appointment you might consider putting the carrier away. If she is spending too much time there. Sometimes this will work, but often the cat will just find another hiding spot. So if you take the carrier away be sure she can't get some place that would be worse.

Right now my 3 have taken to hiding behind the love seat in their room. I had to pull it out quite a bit from the wall. They still go behind, but I can easily get back there. When they first came inside, they 2 of them would hide under a chair. I could not find a way to block it so I had to remove the chair.

Have you tried Gerber stage 2 baby food? It's in a small glass jar with a blue lid. The only ingredients are chicken or turkey, water and modified food starch. It's usually around $1 per jar. My cats go absolutely crazy for it.

Also I have used something I made years ago to first pet my feral cats. I took an old wand toy( the longer the better and a dowel rod would work too) and wrapped a clean soft sock around the end where the feather used to be. I just used duct tape to secure it. I then wrapped a soft piece of flannel around it. I would often begin to use this as a toy and get the cat engaged. When the cats back was to me, I would reach out with the petter and lightly touch the cat. I have successfully used this will all of my feral cats. Here is a picture of it.

Wand petting.JPG

• shadowsrescue
• Sep 18, 2015

Wand petting #2.JPG

• shadowsrescue
• Sep 18, 2015

 

[KrazyForKats]

It would be good if you could entice her with something. Charlie eats treats in front of me, but never comes out to eat his food if I'm there. He still stays in his safe place all day, but he walked into our bedroom last night. Something scared him and he went running out, but I have found he is much braver at night. The same was true of my other feral cat when she first came to our house.
The regressions are tough, and we may never know what causes them, but they're usually followed by steps forward. We just don't know what that step forward will be and when it will come.