Adopted a second cat - mild regret and in need of some advice

[mabelmarceline]

Something for you to consider. Animals sense how we are feeling, so if you are stressed, both cats will become stressed too. It is perfectly normal for cats to hiss and swat until they get to know and accept each other. Most of it is posturing until the heirarchy is established and why I said in an earlier post, the less human interference, the better.

Time and patience are keywords.

Yeah I know Sylvie is very in tune with my emotions so I’ve been trying to not be overwhelmingly stressed or anxious when I’m home with them but it’s easier said than done right now I’m really not comfortable with trying any type of interactions with them until NC can see a vet so I will not be letting her out of her room before then. I may start locking Sylvie in my bedroom when I’m going to spend time with NC to avoid any accidental meetings but I know that’s also just going to piss Sylvie off lol she really hates not having free roam of the apartment.

 

[Tigger's Mum]

Yeah I know Sylvie is very in tune with my emotions so I’ve been trying to not be overwhelmingly stressed or anxious when I’m home with them but it’s easier said than done right now I’m really not comfortable with trying any type of interactions with them until NC can see a vet so I will not be letting her out of her room before then. I may start locking Sylvie in my bedroom when I’m going to spend time with NC to avoid any accidental meetings but I know that’s also just going to piss Sylvie off lol she really hates not having free roam of the apartment.

I can understand that. I'm sure NC will be just fine at her vet appointment. The cat I'm fostering for my ex neighbour is mixing well with my other cats, just the occasional hiss now. She was up-to-date with her vaxes and her owner gave me Frontline Plus for her which I did last week as I knew she was due to be treated. She was used to going in and out as she pleased (I'm in the UK) but is now starting to get used to being an indoor cat. All it takes is time, patience and calmness. I'm sure you'll all be fine. NC sounds really lovely.

 

[mabelmarceline]

Yes I’m on the feeling better about everything end of the spectrum again, it’s supposed to rain nonstop all weekend here so it’s the perfect time to hang out in the apartment and give both kitties lots of love.

here is miss Sylvie in her favorite place in the world, my lap

and NC who is very hard to photograph as she is always moving around and trying to rub against my phone when I’m in her room haha

 

[di and bob]

If all Sylvie does is hiss, swat, growl, and hide rather than jump on NC you might let them together for a bit and see how they act. It would be great if you could get NC used to a harness so you could control her movements. It's normal fro Sylvie to hide, I just wouldn't let NC approach her at this time. Or just get close but not TOO close.

 

[maggie101]

A few other things, I definitely think I underestimated/forgot how active a 2 year old cat can be! I think she has a lot of pent up energy and I’m getting a better idea of the types of toys she likes to play with and am going to stock up on some more to hopefully help her have some stimulation when I can’t be there to play with her. This morning I noticed she’s started scratching the carpet in front of the door so i might get one of those scratchers that hangs over the doorknob and hope that’ll discourage her from doing that. I’m going to try to clean her ears tonight and she desperately needs her nails trimmed but was really resistant when I tried to trim them last night and I don’t want to push her limits too fast.
I feel like when I’m at work I feel really calm about the situation and that I can handle anything but once I’m at home with them I get overwhelmed with stress and anxiety but I’m really not ready to give up on NC and trying to make things work. I really want to feel that bond with her

Is the door kept closed? She may be trying to get in. My cat peaches does that.If the door is clearly being scratched getting a scratcher would be awesome!!!""

 

[danteshuman]

I would not do the harness idea on the new cat! My cat is harness trained and he has a other cat in my building that goes out in a harness (she hates him and wants to maim him!) Whenever he goes onto the area he perceives as near her territory he gets all nervous. The slightest tug on his harness causes him to hiss! But he only acts like that around her territory!

My point is a scared or nervous cat in a harness might confuse a slight pull on the leash as an attack.... then attack! I would get a 4foot by 4 foot piece of card board instead. If things start to get heated block the line of sight & if necessary remove a cat.

 

[mabelmarceline]

I would not do the harness idea on the new cat! My cat is harness trained and he has a other cat in my building that goes out in a harness (she hates him and wants to maim him!) Whenever he goes onto the area he perceives as near her territory he gets all nervous. The slightest tug on his harness causes him to hiss! But he only acts like that around her territory!

My point is a scared or nervous cat in a harness might confuse a slight pull on the leash as an attack.... then attack! I would get a 4foot by 4 foot piece of card board instead. If things start to get heated block the line of sight & if necessary remove a cat.

Yes I actually think NC is too skinny right now to get a properly fitting harness anyway. I kind of get the impression that NC really wants to meet Sylvie and is very curious but Sylvie is not interested. I might try the large dog crate in the living room setup and see how Sylvie responds to that but I don’t want to overwhelm them or myself.

 

[mabelmarceline]

Is the door kept closed? She may be trying to get in. My cat peaches does that.If the door is clearly being scratched getting a scratcher would be awesome!!!""

Yes when I leave the room NC sits right up against the door and cries and scratches at the carpet. I actually went to the pet store on my lunch break and found a floor mat type scratcher (didn’t even know those existed haha) I’m going to put down in front of the door.

 

[maggie101]

My cat peaches is a very curious cat. When I got Coco she would sit outside the door and watch. Door was kept open. Now bff. Sounds like Slvia is a very curious cat! Coco came out on her own

 

[maggie101]

BTW, gorgeous cats! Eventually it will work out

 

[Tigger's Mum]

Yes I’m on the feeling better about everything end of the spectrum again, it’s supposed to rain nonstop all weekend here so it’s the perfect time to hang out in the apartment and give both kitties lots of love.

View attachment 419387
here is miss Sylvie in her favorite place in the world, my lap

View attachment 419388
and NC who is very hard to photograph as she is always moving around and trying to rub against my phone when I’m in her room haha

How strange! I was going to post asking for pics of your lovely cats and here they are. Must be telepathy!!!

You have got two absolute beauties there

 

[danteshuman]

If you do the large dog crate I would drape a blanket over the top & at least 3 sides (& if it could fit, a box to hide in facing the blanket.) That way the cat in the crate can hide or be put and see the other kitty. Plus the kitty outside the crate can’t sneak up on the cat in the crate.

I have never tried the crate way; I hope it works!

My cat’s neck & head are the same size. He can escape every harness by getting the leash caught on something, pulling the leash tight & wiggling backwards! I should rename the twerp Houdini! So I keep a very close eye on him. If I hold the leash in a taunt straight line between my hand & the harness, he can’t wiggle out of it. No more escaping kitty.

 

[Tigger's Mum]

I might try the large dog crate in the living room setup and see how Sylvie responds to that but I don’t want to overwhelm them or myself.

Not a good idea. The only time I've had to keep any of my cats in a crate was to stop them jumping around after being spayed. I nearly lost one of my cats years ago as her spay op went wrong thanks to her being overactive and trying to catch any moth that came in. She managed to burst her internal stitches and had to have an emergency operation. Even then, it was touch and go. She defied the odds and lived to 17. To prevent the same thing possibly happening again when Kira got spayed I kept her mostly in a crate for 5 days until she'd had her post op check. She was only allowed out under strict supervision. Happy to report that nothing bad happened.

Some cats have to be caught in humane traps so something that looks similar could scare them badly. Once NC has seen your vet, just let the cats be cats and sort things out themselves. They'll be fine.

 

[mabelmarceline]

i am happy to say I’m having a much better night tonight and I feel like me and NC are beginning to bond. I got a few toys on a stick to play with her with and she loves them AND it’s helped to burn off a lot of her energy so less crying. I also feel like she’s becoming a bit more comfortable with me, she’s still very affectionate but it feels like it’s less needy and more confident as she’s also happy to go do her own thing while I’ve been in her room and not just be attached to my hip the entire time. Im sure I’ll have a few more rounds of panic before all is said and done and she definitely has some bad play habits I need to work on with her but I am definitely feeling a lot better and really happy I’m feeling the start of a connection building with her.

Also we can officially retire the name NC and start calling her by her real name - Nina!

say hello to Nina

i can’t thank you all enough for the advice and comforting words you’ve given me so far

 

[Meowmee]

i am happy to say I’m having a much better night tonight and I feel like me and NC are beginning to bond. I got a few toys on a stick to play with her with and she loves them AND it’s helped to burn off a lot of her energy so less crying. I also feel like she’s becoming a bit more comfortable with me, she’s still very affectionate but it feels like it’s less needy and more confident as she’s also happy to go do her own thing while I’ve been in her room and not just be attached to my hip the entire time. Im sure I’ll have a few more rounds of panic before all is said and done and she definitely has some bad play habits I need to work on with her but I am definitely feeling a lot better and really happy I’m feeling the start of a connection building with her.

Also we can officially retire the name NC and start calling her by her real name - Nina!

View attachment 419401
say hello to Nina

i can’t thank you all enough for the advice and comforting words you’ve given me so far

Aww Nina is a beauty

 

[Tigger's Mum]

i am happy to say I’m having a much better night tonight and I feel like me and NC are beginning to bond. I got a few toys on a stick to play with her with and she loves them AND it’s helped to burn off a lot of her energy so less crying. I also feel like she’s becoming a bit more comfortable with me, she’s still very affectionate but it feels like it’s less needy and more confident as she’s also happy to go do her own thing while I’ve been in her room and not just be attached to my hip the entire time. Im sure I’ll have a few more rounds of panic before all is said and done and she definitely has some bad play habits I need to work on with her but I am definitely feeling a lot better and really happy I’m feeling the start of a connection building with her.

Also we can officially retire the name NC and start calling her by her real name - Nina!

View attachment 419401
say hello to Nina

i can’t thank you all enough for the advice and comforting words you’ve given me so far

Lovely name for a lovely cat.

Panic? Nah. You've got us

Sounds like Nina is gaining confidence now. Toys your lovely girls might like to play with. Laser dot (try one with at least 6 cats chasing it at the same time ), the flapping fish that you fill with catnip. Think you can get them on Amazon. Going to get one for my cats to play with. Catit have a good range of well-made cat toys and I think they are international. Same company that makes the Catit Flower Fountain.

Keep us posted with Nina and Sylvies progress - and of course, plenty pics please.

 

[mabelmarceline]

Lovely name for a lovely cat.

Panic? Nah. You've got us

Sounds like Nina is gaining confidence now. Toys your lovely girls might like to play with. Laser dot (try one with at least 6 cats chasing it at the same time ), the flapping fish that you fill with catnip. Think you can get them on Amazon. Going to get one for my cats to play with. Catit have a good range of well-made cat toys and I think they are international. Same company that makes the Catit Flower Fountain.

Keep us posted with Nina and Sylvies progress - and of course, plenty pics please.

Oh Nina LOVES the laser toy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cat fly around the room the way she does when I bust out the laser. Those and anything with feathers on a string seem to be her absolute favorite! I’m definitely finding a good balance of when she wants to play with me vs when she wants to play independently now. Honestly Sylvie has always been more independent with her toys and doesn’t really want me involved so I think I was expecting Nina to be the same way and now I’ve realized she definitely needs a balance of both and isn’t afraid to let me know when she’s tired of playing with me and wants to be left to her own devices!

 

[mabelmarceline]

Funny story, much like Nina made a jail break the other day today Sylvie decided to storm the castle! When I was coming out of Nina’s room Sylvie darted right in, she was hissing and growling but Nina was actually more occupied with eating than paying Sylvie any mind so I let her sniff around a bit. Once Sylvie noticed Nina though she swatted at her and ran out of the room (this all lasted maybe 60 seconds tops) but seemed less upset than she did when Nina got out of the room the other day. I’d still prefer to keep them apart until Nina is seen by the vet but I also feel a little encouraged by Sylvie showing curiosity over going into Nina’s room.

also my mom came over today to help give me a little break of alternating between the cats and have a little me time. She actually thinks Nina has bad gas and that’s what is making the room smell, and I think she’s right, so I’m still hopeful that the changing food will work! It’s been really rainy and cold here the past few days so I haven’t been able to open thewindow in Nina’s room to help air it out which probably isn’t helping much

oh and I did clean Nina’s ears today, she hated it haha but they were definitely very dirty. Im going to keep an eye on the scratching and head shaking and have the vet check up on it when we go but I’m hoping that will at least help with some of her discomfort.

 

[Carteave007]

Here’s my 2 cents:
Nina looks really good honestly, when you said skin & bones I had a different image in my head. My cat appears even skinnier than her and my vet has never said she’s unhealthy. (She was unspayed at the time & was 7.7 lbs and 1.4 years old). So yeah, she’s really pretty!
I think one thing you should do is get a cat tree for Nina and put it in front of a window. Eventually she will really like it & it will give her more confidence in the new home. Plus it might make her stop screaming for you because she has a place to belong. Also, it will help with her not scratching things she shouldn’t scratch.
I wouldn’t put her in a crate unless she has a medical condition that makes that necessary, as that can be detrimental to their psyche. Think of solitary confinement for people. Not fun.
Here’s 3 things I think will help them get along:
1. Switch their favorite items. Put that blanket that Nina sleeps on with Sylvie so she can explore it. Put that bed that Sylvie loves with Nina so that she can explore it. They need to get used to each other’s scents. So keep doing that with different items they love.
2. switch their rooms. You don’t have to do it for too long, but let Sylvie explore Ninas “house” for an hour &let Nina explore Sylvie’s house. If you got a cat tree, Sylvie might be more interested in the room & stay occupied. That way, they both can be completely immersed in each other’s scent and environment. And keep doing that!
3. for feeding times, feed them near eachother. For example, put Ninas food bowl 6 ft from the door & Sylvie’s 6ft from the door. Now they smell eachother while doing something they both enjoy. They might be wary about it, but they will eventually eat their food. Then keep moving the bowls slowly and slowly towards eachother (through the door) until they are eating close together with the door between them. You could even repeat that process after with a baby gate. That way there’s even more smells & the view of them.
Once you do these things they’ll be less scared of eachother and less threatened. After this, you can try to introduce them, but maybe have 2 toys active at once so that they aren’t trying to attack eachother. That way, again you’re reinforcing that they can have fun together without hunting each other.
This is more for future reference when they are playing together: I think cats really do like to tussle. My cats fought a lot when I first introduced Fancy to Ruby, but it was never too bad. They probably both just don’t know their own strength and how to play with eachother yet. And that can sometimes take a couple yelps, hisses, and hair chunks for them to learn boundaries and how to play. As long as they aren’t drawing blood and there aren’t too many hair chunks, they’re likely just playing. And it’s even hard to tell when they’re fighting if they’re having fun, but without a doubt, if they wanted to get away, they would try to leave, run away, hide. But yeah I think if you keep doing these things, you’ll find good results and they will eventually learn to tolerate, and hopefully love each other!

 

[mabelmarceline]

Here’s my 2 cents:
Nina looks really good honestly, when you said skin & bones I had a different image in my head. My cat appears even skinnier than her and my vet has never said she’s unhealthy. (She was unspayed at the time & was 7.7 lbs and 1.4 years old). So yeah, she’s really pretty!
I think one thing you should do is get a cat tree for Nina and put it in front of a window. Eventually she will really like it & it will give her more confidence in the new home. Plus it might make her stop screaming for you because she has a place to belong. Also, it will help with her not scratching things she shouldn’t scratch.
I wouldn’t put her in a crate unless she has a medical condition that makes that necessary, as that can be detrimental to their psyche. Think of solitary confinement for people. Not fun.
Here’s 3 things I think will help them get along:
1. Switch their favorite items. Put that blanket that Nina sleeps on with Sylvie so she can explore it. Put that bed that Sylvie loves with Nina so that she can explore it. They need to get used to each other’s scents. So keep doing that with different items they love.
2. switch their rooms. You don’t have to do it for too long, but let Sylvie explore Ninas “house” for an hour &let Nina explore Sylvie’s house. If you got a cat tree, Sylvie might be more interested in the room & stay occupied. That way, they both can be completely immersed in each other’s scent and environment. And keep doing that!
3. for feeding times, feed them near eachother. For example, put Ninas food bowl 6 ft from the door & Sylvie’s 6ft from the door. Now they smell eachother while doing something they both enjoy. They might be wary about it, but they will eventually eat their food. Then keep moving the bowls slowly and slowly towards eachother (through the door) until they are eating close together with the door between them. You could even repeat that process after with a baby gate. That way there’s even more smells & the view of them.
Once you do these things they’ll be less scared of eachother and less threatened. After this, you can try to introduce them, but maybe have 2 toys active at once so that they aren’t trying to attack eachother. That way, again you’re reinforcing that they can have fun together without hunting each other.
This is more for future reference when they are playing together: I think cats really do like to tussle. My cats fought a lot when I first introduced Fancy to Ruby, but it was never too bad. They probably both just don’t know their own strength and how to play with eachother yet. And that can sometimes take a couple yelps, hisses, and hair chunks for them to learn boundaries and how to play. As long as they aren’t drawing blood and there aren’t too many hair chunks, they’re likely just playing. And it’s even hard to tell when they’re fighting if they’re having fun, but without a doubt, if they wanted to get away, they would try to leave, run away, hide. But yeah I think if you keep doing these things, you’ll find good results and they will eventually learn to tolerate, and hopefully love each other!

I don’t think it’s as obvious in the pictures but she’s noticeably underweight when you pet her. I’d be more surprised if the vet tells me she doesn’t need to gain a pound or two because you can really feel all of her bones quite prominently.

Also she has a cat tree! She has pretty much everything Sylvie has in the main apartment, she’s been spoiled since day one!

Her vet appointment isn’t until the 16th so we’ll just be waiting for that and hopefully a clean bill of health before I start doing any space swapping or more introduction stuff. The good news is Sylvie doesn’t have any strong reactions to Nina’s scent on me after I come out of her room. She usually sniffs me for a pretty decent amount of time but never shows any signs of stress or agitation.