- Joined
- May 5, 2022
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Hi guys I’m hoping to get some advice for this situation. Just as a little backstory I grew up with 5 cats and have always lived in multi pet environments so I’m used to the different dynamics, however this is my first time going at it alone and I’m a little overwhelmed. I’ve been reading a lot of old posts in here about post adoption regrets and I feel like all of the responses have been very helpful and compassionate which I could really use right now.
I adopted Sylvie in October 2019 and she has pretty much been my rock through the last 2.5 years. We have a very close bond and I’ve debated back and forth about trying to introduce a new cat to the mix because I really didn’t know how receptive Sylvie would be. The other day I was at the pet store and happened to see a cat that was up for adoption and she just stole my heart, for simplicity I’m going to call her NC (new cat) because I haven’t settled on a name for her yet. Sylvie is approximately 4-6 years old and NC is 2.
I brought NC home 3 days ago (I know it’s been a very short period of time haha) and I’m definitely feeling the post adoption blues right now, which I expected, but I didn’t expect to feel this sad about everything. I live alone in a 2 bedroom apartment and right now NC is living in the second bedroom while Sylvie has access to the rest of the apartment. I work full time so I’ve only had a few hours after work to spend with NC. She’s super sweet and affectionate but I’m definitely having a bit of a hard time bonding with her and seeing her as my cat right now. I’ve been prepared to do as slow of an introduction as needed, NC is really good with other cats so really it’s doing things at the pace Sylvie needs. So far Sylvie has done a lot of hissing under the door and I’ve been trying to avoid having them see each other when I come and go from NC’s room but they’re both curious and the few times Sylvie has caught a glimpse of her she hisses and runs away.
Aside from when I’m in NC’s room or coming and going from it Sylvie seems to be fine and I don’t want to rush into anything. I know the stress and overwhelming feelings I have are really normal so I’m trying to remind myself that it’ll be okay. The rescue I got NC from has a 60 day no question return policy and I spoke a lot with the adoption coordinator about properly introducing her to Sylvie and to give it at least 30 days but ideally the full 60 days, but that they also understand not all cats and humans are compatible. So i know that if it ends up not working out I can bring her back and she can find a better home. Weirdly there is a part of me that is almost hoping it doesn’t work out so I have a valid excuse to return her? I’m sad because she’s SUCH a sweet girl and I know that having to isolate her is definitely impacting my ability to bond with her. With Sylvie we pretty much bonded right away so I feel like I keep comparing things between the two of them which I know isn’t fair.
I have two main concerns right now, one is that any time I’m not in NC’s room she cries endlessly. It doesn’t seem to bother Sylvie, and while it’s heartbreaking for me I also can tough it out, but I live in a second floor apartment and im really worried my neighbors are going t hear her and complain. I know people say feliway is great for calming stresses cats, do you think if I get some for NC’s room it’ll help her calm down and not cry? When I get home from work she’s okay, but at night after I leave her room she will cry nonstop and she did the same this morning after I went in to feed her before I left for work so I’m worried she’ll be crying all morning.
My second concern is that she’s been doing a lot of headshaking and scratching one ear, I tried to get a peek at her ears and they look a bit dirty. I also know she wasn’t being fed very good quality food at the shelter and I’m starting to switch her over to the same food Sylvie gets. In general she just has that kind of sad sickly shelter cat look, she’s really skinny and is a little smelly and her fur is very dull so I’m hoping better food/a permanent home will help. The soonest I could get her in to see my vet is 2 weeks from now and I’m reluctant to really try any of the introduction stages until she’s seen by a vet just in case she has ear mites, but I’m also really stressed out about not doing anything to introduce them for two weeks. I’d like to start slowly scent swapping this weekend but I’m worried if she has ear mites or something that they’ll spread to Sylvie through the blankets/etc. am I being overly paranoid about that?
I adopted Sylvie in October 2019 and she has pretty much been my rock through the last 2.5 years. We have a very close bond and I’ve debated back and forth about trying to introduce a new cat to the mix because I really didn’t know how receptive Sylvie would be. The other day I was at the pet store and happened to see a cat that was up for adoption and she just stole my heart, for simplicity I’m going to call her NC (new cat) because I haven’t settled on a name for her yet. Sylvie is approximately 4-6 years old and NC is 2.
I brought NC home 3 days ago (I know it’s been a very short period of time haha) and I’m definitely feeling the post adoption blues right now, which I expected, but I didn’t expect to feel this sad about everything. I live alone in a 2 bedroom apartment and right now NC is living in the second bedroom while Sylvie has access to the rest of the apartment. I work full time so I’ve only had a few hours after work to spend with NC. She’s super sweet and affectionate but I’m definitely having a bit of a hard time bonding with her and seeing her as my cat right now. I’ve been prepared to do as slow of an introduction as needed, NC is really good with other cats so really it’s doing things at the pace Sylvie needs. So far Sylvie has done a lot of hissing under the door and I’ve been trying to avoid having them see each other when I come and go from NC’s room but they’re both curious and the few times Sylvie has caught a glimpse of her she hisses and runs away.
Aside from when I’m in NC’s room or coming and going from it Sylvie seems to be fine and I don’t want to rush into anything. I know the stress and overwhelming feelings I have are really normal so I’m trying to remind myself that it’ll be okay. The rescue I got NC from has a 60 day no question return policy and I spoke a lot with the adoption coordinator about properly introducing her to Sylvie and to give it at least 30 days but ideally the full 60 days, but that they also understand not all cats and humans are compatible. So i know that if it ends up not working out I can bring her back and she can find a better home. Weirdly there is a part of me that is almost hoping it doesn’t work out so I have a valid excuse to return her? I’m sad because she’s SUCH a sweet girl and I know that having to isolate her is definitely impacting my ability to bond with her. With Sylvie we pretty much bonded right away so I feel like I keep comparing things between the two of them which I know isn’t fair.
I have two main concerns right now, one is that any time I’m not in NC’s room she cries endlessly. It doesn’t seem to bother Sylvie, and while it’s heartbreaking for me I also can tough it out, but I live in a second floor apartment and im really worried my neighbors are going t hear her and complain. I know people say feliway is great for calming stresses cats, do you think if I get some for NC’s room it’ll help her calm down and not cry? When I get home from work she’s okay, but at night after I leave her room she will cry nonstop and she did the same this morning after I went in to feed her before I left for work so I’m worried she’ll be crying all morning.
My second concern is that she’s been doing a lot of headshaking and scratching one ear, I tried to get a peek at her ears and they look a bit dirty. I also know she wasn’t being fed very good quality food at the shelter and I’m starting to switch her over to the same food Sylvie gets. In general she just has that kind of sad sickly shelter cat look, she’s really skinny and is a little smelly and her fur is very dull so I’m hoping better food/a permanent home will help. The soonest I could get her in to see my vet is 2 weeks from now and I’m reluctant to really try any of the introduction stages until she’s seen by a vet just in case she has ear mites, but I’m also really stressed out about not doing anything to introduce them for two weeks. I’d like to start slowly scent swapping this weekend but I’m worried if she has ear mites or something that they’ll spread to Sylvie through the blankets/etc. am I being overly paranoid about that?