Adopted a second cat - mild regret and in need of some advice

[mabelmarceline]

Hi guys I’m hoping to get some advice for this situation. Just as a little backstory I grew up with 5 cats and have always lived in multi pet environments so I’m used to the different dynamics, however this is my first time going at it alone and I’m a little overwhelmed. I’ve been reading a lot of old posts in here about post adoption regrets and I feel like all of the responses have been very helpful and compassionate which I could really use right now.

I adopted Sylvie in October 2019 and she has pretty much been my rock through the last 2.5 years. We have a very close bond and I’ve debated back and forth about trying to introduce a new cat to the mix because I really didn’t know how receptive Sylvie would be. The other day I was at the pet store and happened to see a cat that was up for adoption and she just stole my heart, for simplicity I’m going to call her NC (new cat) because I haven’t settled on a name for her yet. Sylvie is approximately 4-6 years old and NC is 2.
I brought NC home 3 days ago (I know it’s been a very short period of time haha) and I’m definitely feeling the post adoption blues right now, which I expected, but I didn’t expect to feel this sad about everything. I live alone in a 2 bedroom apartment and right now NC is living in the second bedroom while Sylvie has access to the rest of the apartment. I work full time so I’ve only had a few hours after work to spend with NC. She’s super sweet and affectionate but I’m definitely having a bit of a hard time bonding with her and seeing her as my cat right now. I’ve been prepared to do as slow of an introduction as needed, NC is really good with other cats so really it’s doing things at the pace Sylvie needs. So far Sylvie has done a lot of hissing under the door and I’ve been trying to avoid having them see each other when I come and go from NC’s room but they’re both curious and the few times Sylvie has caught a glimpse of her she hisses and runs away.

Aside from when I’m in NC’s room or coming and going from it Sylvie seems to be fine and I don’t want to rush into anything. I know the stress and overwhelming feelings I have are really normal so I’m trying to remind myself that it’ll be okay. The rescue I got NC from has a 60 day no question return policy and I spoke a lot with the adoption coordinator about properly introducing her to Sylvie and to give it at least 30 days but ideally the full 60 days, but that they also understand not all cats and humans are compatible. So i know that if it ends up not working out I can bring her back and she can find a better home. Weirdly there is a part of me that is almost hoping it doesn’t work out so I have a valid excuse to return her? I’m sad because she’s SUCH a sweet girl and I know that having to isolate her is definitely impacting my ability to bond with her. With Sylvie we pretty much bonded right away so I feel like I keep comparing things between the two of them which I know isn’t fair.

I have two main concerns right now, one is that any time I’m not in NC’s room she cries endlessly. It doesn’t seem to bother Sylvie, and while it’s heartbreaking for me I also can tough it out, but I live in a second floor apartment and im really worried my neighbors are going t hear her and complain. I know people say feliway is great for calming stresses cats, do you think if I get some for NC’s room it’ll help her calm down and not cry? When I get home from work she’s okay, but at night after I leave her room she will cry nonstop and she did the same this morning after I went in to feed her before I left for work so I’m worried she’ll be crying all morning.

My second concern is that she’s been doing a lot of headshaking and scratching one ear, I tried to get a peek at her ears and they look a bit dirty. I also know she wasn’t being fed very good quality food at the shelter and I’m starting to switch her over to the same food Sylvie gets. In general she just has that kind of sad sickly shelter cat look, she’s really skinny and is a little smelly and her fur is very dull so I’m hoping better food/a permanent home will help. The soonest I could get her in to see my vet is 2 weeks from now and I’m reluctant to really try any of the introduction stages until she’s seen by a vet just in case she has ear mites, but I’m also really stressed out about not doing anything to introduce them for two weeks. I’d like to start slowly scent swapping this weekend but I’m worried if she has ear mites or something that they’ll spread to Sylvie through the blankets/etc. am I being overly paranoid about that?

 

[di and bob]

No, you are not paranoid, ear mites are a real concern. I would order a topical flea medication on Amazon or your favorite site that takes care of ear mites too, as far as I know, there are only two, Revolution and Advantage multi, make sure it says it can get mites too. I don't recommend the drops because it is so hard to get the right dose and I caused a severe burning in one of my cat's ears once. Once she has been treated and sits for a couple of days, get a large wire dog kennel and put a small box in it for a cat to hide in. You can get them cheap on Facebook or any other buy/sale site. then put it where you are the most, like a living room, and put one act in there while the other has the run of the house. Then after a couple of days of this for hours at a time, exchange cats. they must be able to see each other and get used to each other's movements.
I'm sorry you are feeling like this, but even for people like me, who have been around cats for 60 years, introductions and moves are ALWAYS stressful. What you are going through is perfectly normal. Just set your mind that it IS going to work, tell both cats that and give it time. One time I had two groups of cats and it took a YEAR, but they did accept each other finally. There will always be lots of hissing, swats, growling, and even the occasional tussle with fur flying, but there should be no deep bites or blood, other than maybe a small scratch or two. Getting a calming treat for cats on a pet site might be a good thing too, especially for your resident cat.
Females are especially troublesome. They are the queens of their household and do not like to give up territory. They are the limit setters, the manners teachers. if your resident cat would tolerate a harness, that would be good too, you could pull them apart if you need to. This really takes just time. your cats will eventually become sisters and tolerate each other, maybe even growing into a family unit. it will keep your cat from becoming bored and give her company when you are gone. So stick with it, read up on cat introductions, and come here anytime you need help. It WILL happen these things just take time and lots of it. Your cats WILL bond in time. We will be here anytime you need us! Welcome to the site!

 

[mabelmarceline]

No, you are not paranoid, ear mites are a real concern. I would order a topical flea medication on Amazon or your favorite site that takes care of ear mites too, as far as I know, there are only two, Revolution and Advantage multi, make sure it says it can get mites too. I don't recommend the drops because it is so hard to get the right dose and I caused a severe burning in one of my cat's ears once. Once she has been treated and sits for a couple of days, get a large wire dog kennel and put a small box in it for a cat to hide in. You can get them cheap on Facebook or any other buy/sale site. then put it where you are the most, like a living room, and put one act in there while the other has the run of the house. Then after a couple of days of this for hours at a time, exchange cats. they must be able to see each other and get used to each other's movements.
I'm sorry you are feeling like this, but even for people like me, who have been around cats for 60 years, introductions and moves are ALWAYS stressful. What you are going through is perfectly normal. Just set your mind that it IS going to work, tell both cats that and give it time. One time I had two groups of cats and it took a YEAR, but they did accept each other finally. There will always be lots of hissing, swats, growling, and even the occasional tussle with fur flying, but there should be no deep bites or blood, other than maybe a small scratch or two. Getting a calming treat for cats on a pet site might be a good thing too, especially for your resident cat.
Females are especially troublesome. They are the queens of their household and do not like to give up territory. They are the limit setters, the manners teachers. if your resident cat would tolerate a harness, that would be good too, you could pull them apart if you need to. This really takes just time. your cats will eventually become sisters and tolerate each other, maybe even growing into a family unit. it will keep your cat from becoming bored and give her company when you are gone. So stick with it, read up on cat introductions, and come here anytime you need help. It WILL happen these things just take time and lots of it. Your cats WILL bond in time. We will be here anytime you need us! Welcome to the site!

Ah it didn’t even occur to me that revolution would prevent ear mites, Sylvie is on it and the vet records for NC from the rescue say she was also treated with it. I’ll double check that they are the types that also treat mites but that actually has taken a HUGE amount of stress away. Based on my experiences with other cats and dogs I’ve owned I think her ear problems could just be from them being dirty and the poor quality food so I’m hoping to see an improvement as she transitions to her new food. She’s a bit smelly and her litter is very smelly too so I think that could all be related, a friend of mine also suggested calling my vet and asking if I could bring a stool sample to be checked before her actual appointment so I’m going to call them when they’re open and see if that’s also a possibility.

luckily my mom has had dogs of all sizes and definitely has some spare kennel crates in her garage so I’m going to ask her to lend me one. Sylvie has been doing very well so far but to be honest most of her regular routine hasn’t been impacted by this, she’s definitely not happy when I’m in NC’s room but once I’m back out in the living room/my bedroom she comes and cuddles with me without a problem and sleeps in my bed every night. I’m more worried about NC when I’m not home or out in the rest of the apartment, the second I’m in the room with her she stops crying and is just purring up a storm but I’m trying to maintain a strict routine with when I go visit her because I definitely don’t want her to think crying = attention. I went through a similar thing with Sylvie, she is a VERY vocal cat and I had to train myself not to constantly acknowledge her when she was yelling at me so that’s one thing I feel confident I can manage.

it’s funny because 2 of my good friends adopted cats last year and both of them went through severe adoption regret and for both of them I was sort of the voice of reason and really encouraged them to just stick with it because it’ll be SO worth it in the end. So now that I’m on the other side of things it’s a bit funny to have all of the advice I gave them be given back to me! I know it’ll all be worth it in the end, to be honest I don’t think I realized just how easy of a time I had with adjusting to getting Sylvie until now! She really rolls with the punches very well and has been very adaptable (not to get too into my own personal life but I had a semi traumatic experience in early 2021 that left me in between apartments for a few months and Sylvie and I had to move several times in a short timeframe before we were able to be back in our own stable home and she was SO good. I was very worried about the stress of multiple moves but she was such a little trooper and has adapted so well to everything life has thrown at the two of us, I feel like maybe I haven’t been giving her enough credit for learning to accept a new cat lol) and that definitely set me up with some unrealistic expectations!

Anyway I am already feeling significantly less stressed and panicked so thank you so much! I really do believe deep down that everything will work out and it’ll be so worth it in the end but it’s also so easy to get caught up in the stress in the moment. I’m also hoping once I get to the weekend and have more time to dedicate to each cat AND to myself that I will feel a lot better about things.

 

[di and bob]

You will. Time helps a lot. You will be blessed for saving that little girl, she will become a blessed part of your family, youll see!

 

[ArtNJ]

Cats get seasonal allergies and colds as well. (Wow, just got a little sad...was thinking I had a cat with allergies, but she passed I guess 3 summers ago.) The excessive vocalisations will pass or at least reduce once you put them together.

This may well end up being an easy introduction. The ears and the excessive meowing are sort of side issues that you'll get past. The actual introduction? Thats going fine so far. Hissing for a few days is the expected result, and may resume for a few days after you finally put them together. If thats all it is, its easy peasy lemon squeazy. You hopefully won't have any real lasting problems at all.

 

[Antonio65]

I think I should be the last person to talk about this, but what you're feeling is absolutely normal.
Having some regrets after an adoption is something that probably most of us had.

But it is something that will fix on its own with time.

You say that NC is smelly. What kind of smell you're talking about?
Is it something that can be wiped out with a bath or a deep cleansing with dry shampoo?
In my recent experience, cats smell when they are taken home from a not ideal environment.
My elder cat kept smelling for weeks after I rescued her, I thought that smell would never come off her, and it was the reason for a very mild regret. Eventually that smell disappeared and I understood it was because she was very young and very well trained to groom herself properly.

Same thing with the second rescue kitten.

My elder cat is a sweetie, and I was positive that a new friend would have been welcome, she would have had a companion for playing when we were both out.
Well, when I introduced the new kitten to her the reaction was the total opposite of what I was expecting. The elder cat hissed, growled, howled.
I had to keep the two cats in two rooms for at least two weeks, then I slowly introduced them during meal times or playing sessions, but things weren't improving at all, the elder cat would chase and beat the new kitten all the time, she would corner her and threat her, and I was getting really disheartened, I was starting thinking that they would have never got along.
Then, one day, right after lunch, I saw them together in the same bed. I mean, half an hour earlier they were fighting and growling, then they were sleeping together.
From that day on, they have never split and when they don't see each other for longer than an hour, they start crying.

As for your NC crying when you leave her room, I don't think she cries all day long when you're out. I believe that when she feels, she realizes, you're not in the house anymore, she settles and sleeps.

I think that Sylvie will eventually get used to the new presence.
I would wait, though, before doing smell swapping, until the bad smell that NC has has been wiped out and she has her natural smell.

As for her ears, if they are mites you should make sure they have been completely beaten before letting the two cats meet. Your vet will advise you on some ear drops to kill these parasites.

My second kitten had them, and it took a while to win the battle. Also, she developed ringworm a week or so after the adoption, and this was another long battle.

Best of luck

 

[mabelmarceline]

I think I should be the last person to talk about this, but what you're feeling is absolutely normal.
Having some regrets after an adoption is something that probably most of us had.

But it is something that will fix on its own with time.

You say that NC is smelly. What kind of smell you're talking about?
Is it something that can be wiped out with a bath or a deep cleansing with dry shampoo?
In my recent experience, cats smell when they are taken home from a not ideal environment.
My elder cat kept smelling for weeks after I rescued her, I thought that smell would never come off her, and it was the reason for a very mild regret. Eventually that smell disappeared and I understood it was because she was very young and very well trained to groom herself properly.

Same thing with the second rescue kitten.

My elder cat is a sweetie, and I was positive that a new friend would have been welcome, she would have had a companion for playing when we were both out.
Well, when I introduced the new kitten to her the reaction was the total opposite of what I was expecting. The elder cat hissed, growled, howled.
I had to keep the two cats in two rooms for at least two weeks, then I slowly introduced them during meal times or playing sessions, but things weren't improving at all, the elder cat would chase and beat the new kitten all the time, she would corner her and threat her, and I was getting really disheartened, I was starting thinking that they would have never got along.
Then, one day, right after lunch, I saw them together in the same bed. I mean, half an hour earlier they were fighting and growling, then they were sleeping together.
From that day on, they have never split and when they don't see each other for longer than an hour, they start crying.

As for your NC crying when you leave her room, I don't think she cries all day long when you're out. I believe that when she feels, she realizes, you're not in the house anymore, she settles and sleeps.

I think that Sylvie will eventually get used to the new presence.
I would wait, though, before doing smell swapping, until the bad smell that NC has has been wiped out and she has her natural smell.

As for her ears, if they are mites you should make sure they have been completely beaten before letting the two cats meet. Your vet will advise you on some ear drops to kill these parasites.

My second kitten had them, and it took a while to win the battle. Also, she developed ringworm a week or so after the adoption, and this was another long battle.

Best of luck

She smells like a dirty litter box, it isn’t insanely overwhelming or anything but the second you walk into your room you can smell it and it’s a bit unpleasant. I think it’s extra noticeable since she’s closed off in one room so when you go into the room you can smell it right away. I’ve never actually bathed a cat before and I didn’t want to do anything that would add extra stress to her (and to me) the first 2-3 days she was home but I’m planning on going to the pet store after work today so I’ll look into trying some type of dry shampoo first and see how she feels about that. She is extremely skinny, when I pet her all you can feel are bones and you can see them very clearly, especially when she sits in cat loaf position, and her fur is very very dull and thin looking so I do believe that a better diet and living environment will do great things for her. Sometimes I forget that Sylvie also looked a bit, um, haggard lol when I adopted her and going back to look at pictures of her the first week she came home compared to now truly looks like a completely different cat, so I’m not too too worried about NC. Of course there is a level of unknown still and having to wait almost 2 weeks to get her into the vet is definitely contributing to that, the general anxiety I’m having from the whole situation is definitely leading me to have some anxiety driven worst case scenario fears. I sort of touched on this in another comment but I had a somewhat traumatic experience last year where I moved into an apartment that turned out to have a severe bed bug infestation and resulted and me and Sylvie having to sort of couch hop for a few months until I could find a new place to live so I think I have a general trauma based fear of infestations which is why the potential of ear mites has me feeling extra stressed out, but that’s a whole other separate thing I’m working on coming to terms with so I’m trying not to stay too hung up on it.

there’s a part of me that’s very aware that I’m projecting a lot of my own anxiety onto Sylvie and that overall she’s probably way less bothered by everything than I am, so when I start to feel overwhelmed I try to remind myself that everything I’m feeling is normal and it will be okay but it’s certainly tough trying to overcome the emotional response I’ve been having.

 

[Antonio65]

NC smells like a dirty litter box.
Are you sure she isn't rolling into her litter, or even sleeping in the litter box, so she picks up that smell?
Many cats in shelters do that, and they can maintain this bad habit when they are adopted.

If this is the case, having NC washed might not solve the problem.

 

[mabelmarceline]

NC smells like a dirty litter box.
Are you sure she isn't rolling into her litter, or even sleeping in the litter box, so she picks up that smell?
Many cats in shelters do that, and they can maintain this bad habit when they are adopted.

If this is the case, having NC washed might not solve the problem.

I don’t think she is but I can’t say for certain and I’m not sure how I’d be able to tell? I’ve never seen her go in the litter box when I’m in the room, she does use it though because there’s always something for me to scoop out of it. I did just get home and am in NC’s room right now and I feel like it was much less noticeably smelly in here today than the previous days. Ive been mixing her new and old dry food and also noticed that it looked like she went through and ate all of the new kibble out of the bowl and left just the old food so I feel a bit like my suspicions of it being food related might be accurate.
If she is sleeping in her litter box is there anything I can do to help direct her towards sleeping elsewhere? She has quite a few different options of blankets, cat beds, and cardboard boxes in her room to choose from. With Sylvie I could always just sprinkle catnip on new things and she would happily be attracted to them but so far it doesn’t seem like catnip is a huge attractor for NC, at least not with the scratch posts I got for her.

 

[Antonio65]

In shelters, cats are confined in small spaces and they often use the litter box as a sleeping space too.

My guess is that NC living in a single room might see this space like the one she had before she came with you.

So, I think that the only way she can stop sleeping in the litter box (if she ever does), is to give her a larger space, where food, litter box and bed are far apart in the house.

 

[mabelmarceline]

In shelters, cats are confined in small spaces and they often use the litter box as a sleeping space too.

My guess is that NC living in a single room might see this space like the one she had before she came with you.

So, I think that the only way she can stop sleeping in the litter box (if she ever does), is to give her a larger space, where food, litter box and bed are far apart in the house.

I see. Unless I locked Sylvie in my room and let NC have access to the rest of the apartment while we’re in the introduction phase then I don’t think that’s going to be possible. And I really can’t imagine doing that to Sylvie.

 

[maggie101]

Hi guys I’m hoping to get some advice for this situation. Just as a little backstory I grew up with 5 cats and have always lived in multi pet environments so I’m used to the different dynamics, however this is my first time going at it alone and I’m a little overwhelmed. I’ve been reading a lot of old posts in here about post adoption regrets and I feel like all of the responses have been very helpful and compassionate which I could really use right now.

I adopted Sylvie in October 2019 and she has pretty much been my rock through the last 2.5 years. We have a very close bond and I’ve debated back and forth about trying to introduce a new cat to the mix because I really didn’t know how receptive Sylvie would be. The other day I was at the pet store and happened to see a cat that was up for adoption and she just stole my heart, for simplicity I’m going to call her NC (new cat) because I haven’t settled on a name for her yet. Sylvie is approximately 4-6 years old and NC is 2.
I brought NC home 3 days ago (I know it’s been a very short period of time haha) and I’m definitely feeling the post adoption blues right now, which I expected, but I didn’t expect to feel this sad about everything. I live alone in a 2 bedroom apartment and right now NC is living in the second bedroom while Sylvie has access to the rest of the apartment. I work full time so I’ve only had a few hours after work to spend with NC. She’s super sweet and affectionate but I’m definitely having a bit of a hard time bonding with her and seeing her as my cat right now. I’ve been prepared to do as slow of an introduction as needed, NC is really good with other cats so really it’s doing things at the pace Sylvie needs. So far Sylvie has done a lot of hissing under the door and I’ve been trying to avoid having them see each other when I come and go from NC’s room but they’re both curious and the few times Sylvie has caught a glimpse of her she hisses and runs away.

Aside from when I’m in NC’s room or coming and going from it Sylvie seems to be fine and I don’t want to rush into anything. I know the stress and overwhelming feelings I have are really normal so I’m trying to remind myself that it’ll be okay. The rescue I got NC from has a 60 day no question return policy and I spoke a lot with the adoption coordinator about properly introducing her to Sylvie and to give it at least 30 days but ideally the full 60 days, but that they also understand not all cats and humans are compatible. So i know that if it ends up not working out I can bring her back and she can find a better home. Weirdly there is a part of me that is almost hoping it doesn’t work out so I have a valid excuse to return her? I’m sad because she’s SUCH a sweet girl and I know that having to isolate her is definitely impacting my ability to bond with her. With Sylvie we pretty much bonded right away so I feel like I keep comparing things between the two of them which I know isn’t fair.

I have two main concerns right now, one is that any time I’m not in NC’s room she cries endlessly. It doesn’t seem to bother Sylvie, and while it’s heartbreaking for me I also can tough it out, but I live in a second floor apartment and im really worried my neighbors are going t hear her and complain. I know people say feliway is great for calming stresses cats, do you think if I get some for NC’s room it’ll help her calm down and not cry? When I get home from work she’s okay, but at night after I leave her room she will cry nonstop and she did the same this morning after I went in to feed her before I left for work so I’m worried she’ll be crying all morning.

My second concern is that she’s been doing a lot of headshaking and scratching one ear, I tried to get a peek at her ears and they look a bit dirty. I also know she wasn’t being fed very good quality food at the shelter and I’m starting to switch her over to the same food Sylvie gets. In general she just has that kind of sad sickly shelter cat look, she’s really skinny and is a little smelly and her fur is very dull so I’m hoping better food/a permanent home will help. The soonest I could get her in to see my vet is 2 weeks from now and I’m reluctant to really try any of the introduction stages until she’s seen by a vet just in case she has ear mites, but I’m also really stressed out about not doing anything to introduce them for two weeks. I’d like to start slowly scent swapping this weekend but I’m worried if she has ear mites or something that they’ll spread to Sylvie through the blankets/etc. am I being overly paranoid about that?

I have been calling my vet every day to see if there have been any cancelations. most cats are sociable but since you have had sylvie almost 3 yrs it will work out just some take longer than others. Peaches is 5 yrs older than coco who was rescued 2 yrs old. Peaches is very sociable so it did not take her long to accept. Maggie never has but tolerates her

 

[maggie101]

Can you guess who's who?

 

[Tigger's Mum]

When introducing a new cat to my multi-cat household, I do things a bit differently. I don't keep them separated. Cats have their own heirarchy and I've found the best way is let them sort things out themselves. They will hiss and growl, sometimes the fur will fly but no-one actually gets hurt. Unless things get really violent, human interference is not needed. I'm fostering my ex neighbour's cat until he finds somewhere of his own to live. Having 9 cats and a relatively small house there is nowhere to segregate a new cat. All cats are mixing now with just the occasional half-hearted hiss. There has been no fighting at all.

I've found on average it takes a maximum of 2/3 weeks before the cats settle with each other, either tolerating each other or becoming good friends. Not everyone will agree with the way I introduce cats but it seems to work well with my cats. I also feel that to separate cats from other feline company or human company creates problems for the new cat, in-so-much that they can feel lonely and rejected which in turn makes them feel sad and depressed.

Your new cat smelling like a litter box. As has been said she's probably sleeping or lying in it at times. There is another reason for this. When a cat is feeling distressed in some way, they often sleep in their litter box. Their own smell is in there and it comforts them. I have seen this a couple of times with very elderly cats who had gone senile.

Sounds like your new cat has ear mites. When you take her to the vet, they will check this for you and possibly clean her ears which will make her much more comfortable. I suspect she most likely also has worms - again easily dealt with but get the proper medication from the vet - same goes for flea treatment.

Above all, stop worrying. Your new cat will be just fine and so will Sylvie.

 

[maggie101]

I never separated either. Just be sure one can jump higher up. Once Coco jumps on the couch Maggie leaves her alone. I think I have an empathetic cat!

 

[Antonio65]

Before letting them meet in a shared environment, I would make sure, though, that NC is healthy.
I mean, she doesn't have any disease that can be passed onto Sylvie. Namely a FIV and FeLV test will tell you if she's safe from this point of view. Also, ear mites and worms should be dealt with before mixing, or you will have two cats with the same issue.

 

[Meowmee]

Sorry you are going through this. Intros are so stressful. I would give nc a bath if she lets you and wash her bum at the least and wipe her down. As others said, she could be sleeping in the lb, Zena was doing that when I first took him in, he was aggressive, scared and in a drop trap, and he did not use the box to poop/pee at first either. He was a dumped outdoor kitty I had been trying to help/ trap for a long time.

Now he is a luv bug who gets along with everyone and wrestles with his brothers. I can pick him up, brush/ comb him, hug & kiss him, rub his tummy, clip his claws and rub toothpaste on his gums! He is still skittish, it’s a work in progress with so much improvement I never thought would happen.

I think in time you are going to fall in love with nc and Sylvie is going to get along with her, they may even end up Bff as well.

As for the ear issue I would definitely clean out her ears gently with a cotton ball and an ear cleanser- even if you can’t take her to DVM right away maybe you can get a cleaner online. I would try to get an earlier appointment if you can. And definitely take her stool sample over. She should’ve been treated for all of this at the shelter they’re supposed to check for parasites and treat them for that so I am surprised. Part of the point of adopting a cat from a shelter is they’re supposed to do these health checks especially since you could be bringing that cat to live with other kitties and you don’t want to expose them to parasites and ear mites and stuff like that.

3 days is nothing so give it some time and I am sure it will be ok. As for the meowing, try playing music, purrli, cat tv and get a purring stuffed cat and or heart beat cat for her while you are out.

 

[mabelmarceline]

Good morning everyone. Just to touch on some of the questions/comments:

NC came from a private cat rescue that rents a small space in a pet store chain in my state. She does have her vet records, is up to date in all vaccines etc, but the rescue also recommends you have any adopted cat checked out by your vet. Especially before being introduced to any other pets in the household. Based on myexperience with having cats I think NC’s stool seems normal when I scoop her litter box but I’m not a vet and since I’m already feeling anxious about everything I’d rather know she’s 100% healthy before introducing her to Sylvie.

that being said, last night she made a run for it when I was leaving her room. She ran up to Sylvie and Sylvie hissed and swatted at her. I got NC back into her room and Sylvie spent the rest of the night hiding under the bed. Until now Sylvie has not reacted to NC’s meows, but this morning she looks visibly stressed out every time she hears NC cry. And NC cries a LOT. Probably cried the entire night because i woke up on and off to the sound of it and she is crying as I write this post. I’m going to see about getting some music or something to have playing in the room with her but there’s nothing I can do about it this morning.
I’m hoping the weekend will give me the chance to spend some more time with both of them and feel better about things because right now I am at peak stress levels and I feel like I’m starting to resent NC a little bit

 

[mabelmarceline]

A few other things, I definitely think I underestimated/forgot how active a 2 year old cat can be! I think she has a lot of pent up energy and I’m getting a better idea of the types of toys she likes to play with and am going to stock up on some more to hopefully help her have some stimulation when I can’t be there to play with her. This morning I noticed she’s started scratching the carpet in front of the door so i might get one of those scratchers that hangs over the doorknob and hope that’ll discourage her from doing that. I’m going to try to clean her ears tonight and she desperately needs her nails trimmed but was really resistant when I tried to trim them last night and I don’t want to push her limits too fast.
I feel like when I’m at work I feel really calm about the situation and that I can handle anything but once I’m at home with them I get overwhelmed with stress and anxiety but I’m really not ready to give up on NC and trying to make things work. I really want to feel that bond with her

 

[Tigger's Mum]

Good morning everyone. Just to touch on some of the questions/comments:

NC came from a private cat rescue that rents a small space in a pet store chain in my state. She does have her vet records, is up to date in all vaccines etc, but the rescue also recommends you have any adopted cat checked out by your vet. Especially before being introduced to any other pets in the household. Based on myexperience with having cats I think NC’s stool seems normal when I scoop her litter box but I’m not a vet and since I’m already feeling anxious about everything I’d rather know she’s 100% healthy before introducing her to Sylvie.

that being said, last night she made a run for it when I was leaving her room. She ran up to Sylvie and Sylvie hissed and swatted at her. I got NC back into her room and Sylvie spent the rest of the night hiding under the bed. Until now Sylvie has not reacted to NC’s meows, but this morning she looks visibly stressed out every time she hears NC cry. And NC cries a LOT. Probably cried the entire night because i woke up on and off to the sound of it and she is crying as I write this post. I’m going to see about getting some music or something to have playing in the room with her but there’s nothing I can do about it this morning.
I’m hoping the weekend will give me the chance to spend some more time with both of them and feel better about things because right now I am at peak stress levels and I feel like I’m starting to resent NC a little bit

Something for you to consider. Animals sense how we are feeling, so if you are stressed, both cats will become stressed too. It is perfectly normal for cats to hiss and swat until they get to know and accept each other. Most of it is posturing until the heirarchy is established and why I said in an earlier post, the less human interference, the better.

Time and patience are keywords.