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Adopted A Scared Kitty A Month Ago. Should We Get His Brother Too?

Discussion in 'Caring for Strays and Ferals' started by NewKitty2019, May 17, 2019.

  1. NewKitty2019

    NewKitty2019 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    Apr 30, 2019
    When we were ready to adopt a cat we were hoping to get someone with cuddly personality, because I just went through a personal loss... Instead we ended up with a scared kitty who came from an abusive hoarders situation. He is really scared of hands (ironically) and it took us almost a month to get him to not be terrified of us. Now I am very happy we adopted him, even though at the beginning I was really worried for his life, because he didn't want to eat anything. He is eating now and I know he will eventually come around and we will pet him soon. :) I can just see it.

    So, when we were looking at all the kitties and saw him, we were told that he has a brother at the same place. But the brother was so scared that we couldn't even look at him or touch him. When our kitty was having problems with eating, the foster lady mentioned about the brother again thinking to maybe bring his brother to see how he reacts.

    I was not sure we can have 2 cats in our household but can't stop thinking about that little scarred kitty that nobody will probably ever adopt... One side of me says that if we adopt a second cat he/she has to be more friendly. On the other hand I feel like our kitty has to be with his brother, they even stayed in one cage after being rescued for a while.

    My question to everybody is this. What would you do? Adopt his brother, get another kitty with friendlier personality or just have one kitty and work on socializing him first? Has anybody had to make this choice? Or have you adopted 2 scared kitties?

    We are just so worried to have a house full of scared cats! :)

    Here is Richi before and after 1 month since we took him.
    Adoption.jpg Richard 05-10-2019.jpg
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2019
    foxxycat, lavishsqualor, lisahe and 5 others purraised this.

  2. ArchyCat

    ArchyCat TCS Member Super Cat

    Nov 22, 2017
    Yes! Hopefully, they will help each other over come their fear. A cat with normal behavior might be too dominate for you current cat to continue to improve. Hopefully, other TCS members with more experience and knowledge will be forth coning.
    lavishsqualor, calico man, Kflowers and 4 others purraised this.

  3. fionasmom

    fionasmom TCS Member Alpha Cat

    Jun 21, 2014
    Los Angeles
    I did this once with ferals from the colony at my school. Several were killed one night by some local dogs and our only choice was to do something or let the rest be killed. I took a female who reacted to being at my house like your new kitty has. A couple weeks later I was able to get her brother who was not what I would call friendly but was manageable. When I put them in the same room and they realized and remembered, they huddled together and finally relaxed and became long lived pets. I do agree with @ArchyCat that a well adjusted or playful cat might be too much for your kitty.

    Cruelty in yellow on that form.....poor baby. It was so kind of you to give him a chance at a better life.
    foxxycat, lavishsqualor, tarasgirl06 and 5 others purraised this.

  4. DreamerRose

    DreamerRose TCS Member Top Cat

    Dec 11, 2015
    Naperville, IL
    I agree. I believe the two cats will recognize each other and become a comfort to each other. While you offer them love and companionship, they will have one of their own to bolster their courage. It will be a good thing.
    foxxycat, lavishsqualor, fionasmom and 6 others purraised this.

  5. 1 bruce 1

    1 bruce 1 TCS Member Top Cat

    Apr 8, 2016
    I would adopt the brother, if wherever you live is OK with it.
    I would also make sure they have plenty of "away from brother" time with you and any other humans in the house. It sounds like your current cat has made a lot of progress, and it would be easy for him to fall back to his brothers habits of bonding with other cats and not humans. The brother might be where your current cat was when you adopted him, and if he's with another cat he recognizes all the time bonding with you might be a problem. If he spends time with his brother, that's great, but he needs time on his own with you to bond with you, too.
    It's easily do-able and you sound really dedicated. I'd explore adopting his brother and I offer congratulations for your new little family :petcat:
    foxxycat, lavishsqualor, fionasmom and 3 others purraised this.

  6. Jcatbird

    Jcatbird TCS Member Top Cat

    Dec 5, 2017
    Southern U.S.
    Yes! I have pulled in rescues and the advice given is very good! Please adopt the brother. I have reunited siblings long after separation and it was a huge comfort to the kitties! Everything improved after that!

  7. ArchyCat

    ArchyCat TCS Member Super Cat

    Nov 22, 2017
    Jcatbird, lavishsqualor and tarasgirl06 purraised this.

  8. rosegold

    rosegold TCS Member Super Cat

    Feb 1, 2018
    Yes yes yes! Get him! I think the progress you’ve made with the first kitty will positively impact the brother and give him more confidence to trust you. It may take a while for them to come around and get fully comfortable with you, and they may always be a little skittish or have certain idiosyncrasies as a result of their past. But they will be in a happy home, with love and patience and care. And they will be together!

    I too set out to adopt a cuddly, friendly cat... I got one friendly girl but also ended up with Chai, who was so scared that she was unable to be touched for over a year and would hiss if you even looked at her. She was definitely a “cat’s cat” and I thought she might just bond with Chilli and never fully trust me. But I spent lots of time socializing her... and she eventually became THE MOST affectionate, sweet, purr monster of a kitty. She blossomed immensely in a home, even before she allowed me to touch her, and learned to love petting and belly rubs. Now I will always share her story and advocate for the shy kitties. :)
    Chai before and after:

    Also, speaking from experience, this site is amazing and will help you every step of the way on your journey socializing your cat(s). :)

  9. msaimee

    msaimee TCS Member Top Cat

    Jul 21, 2013
    Western PA
    I adopted two ferals as kittens who both had the same papa cat, 3 years apart. Cupcake was a terrified 5 month old kitten when I put her in my spare room after trapping and spaying her. Older brother Harry heard her crying, and bonded with her almost immediately. She bonded with him and then my other cats months before she even allowed me to touch her. He is still very protective of her now, 3 years later. He really was the one who socialized her, and she became very loving and affectionate to me and my friends. So yes, take in the sibling for your scared Kitty! Here's a pic of Harry and Cupcake.


  10. NewKitty2019

    NewKitty2019 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    Apr 30, 2019
    Thank you so much for sharing! She is beautiful! :)

  11. NewKitty2019

    NewKitty2019 Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    Apr 30, 2019
    So sweet! Thank you for sharing! :)
    Jcatbird, 1 bruce 1 and tarasgirl06 purraised this.

  12. di and bob

    di and bob TCS Member Top Cat

    Dec 12, 2012
    Nebraska, USA
    If it has been too long they will no longer recognize each other. If it has been a few months. Please keep us updated!
    tarasgirl06 and ArchyCat purraised this.

  13. Talien

    Talien TCS Member Alpha Cat

    Oct 10, 2018
    For scared Cats it almost always helps to have another Cat around, moreso if the other Cat is friendlier, even better if they'e already familiar with eachother, littermates are perfect. It looks like you've made great progress with Richi and he will help with socializing his brother, so if you're able to then yes by all means adopt him too.

  14. tarasgirl06

    tarasgirl06 TCS Member Top Cat

    Sep 19, 2006
    Glendale, California
    Hello @NewKitty2019 and sweet Richi and family, and welcome to TCS.
    Three words for the answer: GET HIM OUT! Absolutely, positively, without any delay!
    Jcatbird, lavishsqualor, lisahe and 2 others purraised this.

  15. zed xyzed

    zed xyzed TCS Member Top Cat

    Nov 10, 2015
    Toronto Canada
    I really think that having his brother will be a comfort to him, and will let him relax. I have two litter mates I adopted a year ago and am so thankful I got both. They have a special bond and completely love one another, when ever there is something scary going on they are there for each other. Let us know how things go
    lavishsqualor and tarasgirl06 purraised this.

  16. zed xyzed

    zed xyzed TCS Member Top Cat

    Nov 10, 2015
    Toronto Canada
    I am not 100% certain of that. one of my boys got lost outside and was missing for over 2 months, When I got him back, I kept them isolated to get use to one another but 2 days together and I was like they were never separated. They adore each each other

  17. lisahe

    lisahe TCS Member Top Cat

    Mar 23, 2014
    I agree with the others about adopting the brother! We have two littermate sisters who came from a minor hoarding situation and are so glad they came to us as a bonded pair.

    We were told at the shelter that they were quiet, shy cats, which they initially were. They hid and they were scared of us. Even now, more than five years later, they don't like certain noises, like sneezing or coughing. (There are things we wonder about the people they once lived with...) Other than that, though, they are the most affectionate and friendly cats I have ever known! They love attention, lie on our laps sometimes when we read, and generally like to be around us. They don't like the doorbell or guests but that's okay -- in general, they're about as well-adjusted as any cats I've known.

    In my small experience, I think the most important thing with rescue cats like these is to be very patient and let them come to you when they are ready. These cats certainly did, as did my cat years ago, a Philadelphia stray who was never ever a lap cat and would not be held... but slept by my feet every night and almost always followed me around my apartment. Like these cats, she was a wonderful friend.

  18. verna davies

    verna davies TCS Member Staff Member Forum Helper

    Feb 23, 2016
    Wales uk
    You have worked wonders with your new kitty and can do the same for his brother. You would get so much pleasure from helping them so please get him, he needs you. Keep us updated.
    lavishsqualor, tarasgirl06 and lisahe purraised this.

  19. KrisinOhio

    KrisinOhio Kristin Adult Cat

    Oct 28, 2018
    Hi! Thank you for rescuing! Please get the brother! I trapped a feral mother and her kitten last fall. They are becoming great house cats but the fact that they had each other was so beneficial!

  20. david68

    david68 TCS Member Adult Cat

    Oct 15, 2014
    I had a situation where I had two semi-socialized barn cats that I'd worked with over several months to make them adoptable. They were related, but not siblings. An adoption opportunity arose, but they only wanted one of them. Being in a tough situation in terms of space, I agreed, but after three weeks, they returned him. All he would do was hide and try to scratch anyone who came near. Later a neighbor's sister adopted both of them, and it went perfectly fine. So, yes, I think that two cats that are familiar with one another can give each other a lot of emotional support than can help everyone. A hoarding situation is bad, but like at my farm colony, they were used to being around other cats.
    Jcatbird, lavishsqualor and tarasgirl06 purraised this.

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