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A Lot Of (still) Newbie Questions
- Thread starter MoonstoneWolf
- Start Date
oh, that's a good point.
If the cats have been trapped before, they probably won't go in any traps now unless they're very hungry. And if you feed them, they won't be.
I hope it all works out!
I hope it all works out!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #304
She hasn't actually been diagnosed as she refuses to go to doctor. However knowing her for 63 years I can see that her memory is worsening, a lot of times she can't grasp what she sees on the news or 2 seconds later she doesn't even remember it being on the news. Sometimes she can't remember what day of the week it is (and I'm not talking about the temporary confusion some have when just waking up). She'll be walking from one room to the next and forget what she's doing. And she used to have a sharp mind (sharper than mine in fact). I wish I could get her to be diagnosed and confirmed but she refuses to go. Other times her memory is great. Like she'll remember loaning me $1000 25 years ago or she remembers something I did 58 years ago but forgets other stuff. She can't catch onto jokes that are told to her and she remembers things differently than what others remember them to be.
She also has a hard time walking outside the house unless she has a cane, a walker or me to hold onto. Inside she's ok but she tenses outside which is why if I was able to get help with a catio behind the garage, she would never know. It's just her seeing me. When she gets upset she works up into a heart attack. She's been in hospital several times as a result. But as my intro to this post stated I know one day she won't be here, and these cats came into my life at a time that I was injured and in pain as I can't take meds due to GERD and it aggravates my GERD. And I honestly don't want to be alone for when my Mom goes I have no siblings, and other relatives are 5 states away.
She also goes through a "choking" spell each time she eats. She'll sneeze 5 or 6 times, choke and then she'll hiccup. All leaving her breathless. It used to be occasional but now it's every meal. Again her stubbornness and the doctor won't see her without her consent. I don't know what the laws are on getting her diagnosed for dementia though in my area.
She also has a hard time walking outside the house unless she has a cane, a walker or me to hold onto. Inside she's ok but she tenses outside which is why if I was able to get help with a catio behind the garage, she would never know. It's just her seeing me. When she gets upset she works up into a heart attack. She's been in hospital several times as a result. But as my intro to this post stated I know one day she won't be here, and these cats came into my life at a time that I was injured and in pain as I can't take meds due to GERD and it aggravates my GERD. And I honestly don't want to be alone for when my Mom goes I have no siblings, and other relatives are 5 states away.
She also goes through a "choking" spell each time she eats. She'll sneeze 5 or 6 times, choke and then she'll hiccup. All leaving her breathless. It used to be occasional but now it's every meal. Again her stubbornness and the doctor won't see her without her consent. I don't know what the laws are on getting her diagnosed for dementia though in my area.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #305
They do all go in my box I set up for them though all the way to the back. I can't just leave them. I'd rather be in the bushes with them then leave them behind.If the cats have been trapped before, they probably won't go in any traps now unless they're very hungry. And if you feed them, they won't be.
I hope it all works out!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #306
I still need to work out this feeding schedule
Before I myself became disabled, I was a nurse for 13 years. At your moms age and with the health issues you have mentioned, she really NEEDS to see a doctor every 3-6 months for routine labs and an EKG.
I have found that removing the question “Do you want to go?” and replacing it with “When do you want to go?” sometimes helps. It’s actually a parenting technique that works well for dementia patients as well.
It’s extremely common for people developing dementia to be able to remember events from decades ago but not 10 minutes ago. What you are describing is pretty much text book for beginning dementia. Really it would be worse for HER to move because a change in routine and environmental will worsen dementia.
I would tell her that both of you are due for a check up at the doctor so you want to schedule them together so you only need to make one trip and ask her what day would be the best for her. You could tell her that you would feel better if she was with you because ever since you had issues with your health, going to the doctor has been stressful. That way she sees it as her doing you the favor of going with you instead of you taking her.
You know her the best so you can probably come up with a better excuse. This has just worked for me. When dealing with someone with dementia, I would do whatever I needed to keep them from feeling overwhelmed.
Also, you could write a note for the doctor and pass it to them before they come in to see her so that they know what’s going on without you having to say it in front of her.
There’s a quick mini-mental exam they use to help determine if someone has dementia. It doesn’t take long but she will be suspicious so if she goes in with you for your check up (everyone needs one every year anyway), you could tell them to do your exam first and have them do it on you so that when it’s her turn, it looks like it is just a regular part of their physicals.
I have found that removing the question “Do you want to go?” and replacing it with “When do you want to go?” sometimes helps. It’s actually a parenting technique that works well for dementia patients as well.
It’s extremely common for people developing dementia to be able to remember events from decades ago but not 10 minutes ago. What you are describing is pretty much text book for beginning dementia. Really it would be worse for HER to move because a change in routine and environmental will worsen dementia.
I would tell her that both of you are due for a check up at the doctor so you want to schedule them together so you only need to make one trip and ask her what day would be the best for her. You could tell her that you would feel better if she was with you because ever since you had issues with your health, going to the doctor has been stressful. That way she sees it as her doing you the favor of going with you instead of you taking her.
You know her the best so you can probably come up with a better excuse. This has just worked for me. When dealing with someone with dementia, I would do whatever I needed to keep them from feeling overwhelmed.
Also, you could write a note for the doctor and pass it to them before they come in to see her so that they know what’s going on without you having to say it in front of her.
There’s a quick mini-mental exam they use to help determine if someone has dementia. It doesn’t take long but she will be suspicious so if she goes in with you for your check up (everyone needs one every year anyway), you could tell them to do your exam first and have them do it on you so that when it’s her turn, it looks like it is just a regular part of their physicals.
Have you contacted the BBB and the ASPCA to report that crazy TNR lady? If not, please do and tell them that after she confirmed that these cats had been through the program already that she kept contacting you to pay $50 each to go through the program again and after you kept reminding her that SHE had records on these 3 cats, she didn’t want to take “no” for an answer. Also that she lied to your neighbor and told them that you needed help trapping them and dropped off traps trying to get your neighbor to be part of it.
If I were with the ASPCA in your area, I would want to know to be on the lookout for her and to never use her as a resource again.
If I were with the ASPCA in your area, I would want to know to be on the lookout for her and to never use her as a resource again.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #309
I called and left a message. Closed for weekend in my area. I'll try that with my Mom but it probably won't work knowing her. She'll just tell me to go on my own as I'm a big girl. She's done that before. My Mom is extremely difficult.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #310
In the meantime I'm sitting outside, but doubt that the cats will come out with neighbors on both sides of me cutting their grass as well as our own yard getting cut. But I'm sure they're watching me, so I thought if I sit out here and show no fear of the lawn mowers they'll know it safe as well. Besides, too pretty to be sitting inside right now.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #311
None of the cats have been seen for 7 hours which is unusual, especially for Shadow when it comes to food. I hope crazy lady didn't take traps to another house I can't see.
Hang in there, hopefully its just because of noisy lawnmower day and that sort of thing
.- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #313
Treasure showed. No Shaman but Treasure acts ok so Shaman probably sleeping.
Treasure meowed at me. First time ever.
The thing that is worry me and breaks my heart (again) is Treasure just went looking for Shaman and then came back and finished the food. She has never done that before. Usually she goes, finds Shaman then doesn't return til Shaman is with her. I'm worried now.
Treasure meowed at me. First time ever.
The thing that is worry me and breaks my heart (again) is Treasure just went looking for Shaman and then came back and finished the food. She has never done that before. Usually she goes, finds Shaman then doesn't return til Shaman is with her. I'm worried now.
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #314
Oh I forgot to mention I also informed the neighbors on Next Door app about it in case they come in contact with her
This sounds like a really good and positive thing
since you said Treasure is acting normally. I know I keep saying this but hang in there - you're dealing with so many dynamics that it's seriously challenging to know what all is going on - Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #316
Well Granted my next door neighbor did clean up 6 years worth of clutter today. Maybe Shaman thinks she has the wrong area like I did. lolThis sounds like a really good and positive thing
Yea I have never seen Treasure eat up all the food before like that. Hoping that Shaman is just off on one of her usual pouts.
This is definitely enough noise and change that the cats might be extra wary, for sure!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #318
Well I woke up to a cat staring at me from outside on the top step to the sunroom (I live in basement). That would be the neighbors cat who I refer to as Noobs. Then Shadow is laying on the top of the cat tree. Shaman is hanging from the tree and Treasure playing in front of the garage
Oh and Shaman stood up for herself this morning, making Shadow wait for food. Shadow took off but I'm not concerned about her. I know Shadow enough now to know she'll come back in an hour to eat, possibly after Shaman, Treasure and the other cat take off playing. Looking at Treasure right now she looks like she's been rolling around making mud pies though lol
Oh and Shaman stood up for herself this morning, making Shadow wait for food. Shadow took off but I'm not concerned about her. I know Shadow enough now to know she'll come back in an hour to eat, possibly after Shaman, Treasure and the other cat take off playing. Looking at Treasure right now she looks like she's been rolling around making mud pies though lol
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #319
Oh wow, I'm in shock. Feeding went great. Shaman, Treasure and Noobs (what I call the new one who also has a tipped ear) came to eat and left. Shadow has returned and is eating now. No fights. Although I'd better not speak too soon. lol
This actually reminds me of when watching the bald eagle cams. The eaglets wind up best buddies but they do practice dominance and submission so they are prepared to survive in the wild.
This actually reminds me of when watching the bald eagle cams. The eaglets wind up best buddies but they do practice dominance and submission so they are prepared to survive in the wild.
