Scared semi feral stray cat hiding for a month

[Furballsmom]

I often doubt myself if I'm doing the right thing. Also I wonder if whiskers hates me and the place.

Cats don't hate.

I think I posted this earlier in the thread, because you mentioned that Whiskers is shy.
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat - TheCatSite

This may also be helpful;
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home - TheCatSite

 

[Kwik]

Oh I feel like we're not progressing and I often doubt myself if I'm doing the right thing. Also I wonder if whiskers hates me and the place.

As Furballsmom just said " Cats Don't Hate"

That's the absolute truth,they don't have hatred in them- people have " emotions" thst simply do not apply to animals- though their responses to environments and situations may seem like one thing to a human they definitely are not to be confused with human emotion.

Whiskers has just went through a transition from what he's known ahd was familiar with to something very new,unfamiliar and unknown- he must acclimate to it ALL

You keep putting yourself in this equation ahd we are trying very hard to assure you thst you are not part of the equation ( or at least,should not be YET) .... We certainly understand when people get a new cat they are very excited to welcome them into the home with open arms and want to love all over them- cats don't roll that way- not in unfamiliar territory,he's got to feel safe and secure FIRST before he becomes interested in getting to to know you..... he's hearing knocks on the door,vacuum cleaners etc and really not having a chance to settle in and relax with the new environment..... please try to understand the worst thing to a cat is to not have a territory,to not know his surroundings

For goodness sakes- you can have the sweetest,most loveable ,cat for 10 yrs and re-arrange your living room furniture and suddenly that sweet,loveable cat starts making outside his litter box and is ignoring you instead of sitting on your lap on the couch!For a time though,until he ACCLIMATES to the change in his very familiar territory.....so is he mad & hates his pet parent for moving stuff around? No,he's not comfortable with change,it's unfamiliar,he feels,cautious,hesitant,curious..... not mad,not angry,not anything at all to do with his person....

Relax,let him move at his pace and be assured it's not personal- he needs patience from you and stop second guessing yourself- he's got a great future in his forever home and you have a great future best friend'- I promise you,it's a process

 

[Kwik]

Also.... I'll keep telling you til I'm blue in the face so now don't start thinking " maybe I should just shut up",lol

We've all been there,whether it was when we were 5yrs old,or as a first time cat parent or simply a worry wart!Not one of us started out knowing a whole lot-its many years of experience,but we try not to forget where we came from-So keep us posted & know we are here for you..... it will be well

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[charbby]

Thanks so much guys for the encouragement. Yeah it's tough when whiskers can't straight up tell me what he wants or doesn't not want so it's just me worrying and wondering and creating these doomsday scenarios

 

[tabbytom]

Thanks so much guys for the encouragement. Yeah it's tough when whiskers can't straight up tell me what he wants or doesn't not want so it's just me worrying and wondering and creating these doomsday scenarios

Cats don't tell you everything. You need to find out what they actually wants. That's why they are called cats. You don't have to worry so much. Whisker is just behaving like a cat and that is what cats do.

I tried asking may boy many things and he just thump his tail telling me to get lost and of course, I obeyed him

 

[Kwik]

Thanks so much guys for the encouragement. Yeah it's tough when whiskers can't straight up tell me what he wants or doesn't not want so it's just me worrying and wondering and creating these doomsday scenarios

You're welcome!
We get it,no worries
Btw, tabbytom is very well trained -his boy January did a very good job so I'm sure Whiskers will straighten you out too becausd "cats are cats"

 

[charbby]

Sigh yesterday evening whiskers was eating his food in the room, door closed and all as usual. I walked past and was talking to my husband. He immediately hid.

Feels like he's not making much progress

 

[tabbytom]

Sigh yesterday evening whiskers was eating his food in the room, door closed and all as usual. I walked past and was talking to my husband. He immediately hid.

Feels like he's not making much progress

Some cats don't like or are afraid of sudden moves or loud noise or they get distracted easily. I don't think that there's no progress at all.

Sometimes it's just them. It's how they behave and react when they were outdoors before they came in.

My boy is a rescue and I don't know his history. He's very afraid of loud sounds and once he sees us hanging the laundry to dry, he'll start running away and hide. He's afraid of the poles and I don't know why and he's with us for 8 years coming January.

So I think you should give Whiskers time to be more calm and also be aware of what he is afraid of and try to minimize whatever he's afraid of.

 

[charbby]

But I can't not walk past the room or not talk in the house. Some sounds are inevitable. I've tried the whole talking in the room with him there to get him used to my voice but idk seems like he's still scared. As an outdoor cat he was in an area with high human traffic so it saddens me that he's still so scared of me.

Some cats don't like or are afraid of sudden moves or loud noise or they get distracted easily. I don't think that there's no progress at all.

Sometimes it's just them. It's how they behave and react when they were outdoors before they came in.

My boy is a rescue and I don't know his history. He's very afraid of loud sounds and once he sees us hanging the laundry to dry, he'll start running away and hide. He's afraid of the poles and I don't know why and he's with us for 8 years coming January.

So I think you should give Whiskers time to be more calm and also be aware of what he is afraid of and try to minimize whatever he's afraid of.

 

[charbby]

 

[Furballsmom]

But I can't not walk past the room or not talk in the house. Some sounds are inevitable.

Some of the best advice I've read about working with cats like this, is to go about your daily routines and don't focus on the cat at all.

That sweetie is with you, safe, sound and well taken care of. You have all the time in the world now.

Please remember that if you have a frustrated, concerned, worried frame of mind your cat will detect that, without understanding it other than it is bad.

On the other hand a warm, happy --or at least calm, frame of mind likewise will be detected by your cat and will help your cat to be relaxed and calm.

 

[charbby]

Yeah I'll do it. It feels like I have a strange magical creature in my house that just poops and eats but I can't see or touch.

Some of the best advice I've read about working with cats like this, is to go about your daily routines and don't focus on the cat at all.

That sweetie is with you, safe, sound and well taken care of. You have all the time in the world now.

Please remember that if you have a frustrated, concerned, worried frame of mind your cat will detect that, without understanding it other than it is bad.

On the other hand a warm, happy --or at least calm, frame of mind likewise will be detected by your cat and will help your cat to be relaxed and calm.

 

[tabbytom]

But I can't not walk past the room or not talk in the house. Some sounds are inevitable. I've tried the whole talking in the room with him there to get him used to my voice but idk seems like he's still scared. As an outdoor cat he was in an area with high human traffic so it saddens me that he's still so scared of me.

I agee with what Furballsmom mentioned.

Any time you walk past the room, just say 'Hi Whiskers' 'What ya doing darling' 'You wanna come out and play?' Just have conversations with Whiskers and keep calling his name.

You never know that one day he'll be a snuggle cat. You never know.

 

[charbby]

Thanks all for the encouragement. I'm sitting in the room now softly reading out loud while playing cat music. It's pouring outside. I wonder if he understands that he's safe and dry in here with me. Either way I'll keep trying and wouldn't give up.

I agee with what Furballsmom mentioned.

Any time you walk past the room, just say 'Hi Whiskers' 'What ya doing darling' 'You wanna come out and play?' Just have conversations with Whiskers and keep calling his name.

You never know that one day he'll be a snuggle cat. You never know.

 

[tabbytom]

Thanks all for the encouragement. I'm sitting in the room now softly reading out loud while playing cat music. It's pouring outside. I wonder if he understands that he's safe and dry in here with me. Either way I'll keep trying and wouldn't give up.

That's good. Yes, he should understand he's safe and dry. I'm sure he recognize the sound of rain and feeling different.

Yes, please don't give up.

 

[Kwik]

Yeah I'll do it. It feels like I have a strange magical creature in my house that just poops and eats but I can't see or touch.

YET- you can't see or touch YET

Do you think a year and a half is a long time?Would you give a year and a half knowing thst it will result in many many many years of love and companionship? I worked outside 4& 5 hrs a day with a feral who hid under bushes and who had remained unseen for 6yrs prior to me starting to work with him- took one year to get him to trust me ,the first human being he even had contact with.... then I captured him and the real work began

He's been inside now for 6months,he's loving,sweet,he doesn't hide,crazy for petting and is by my side 24/7..... he hid in his cubby for 2 months and would be terrified of the refrigerator running,A/C turning on & the toilet flushing - it's all in the past now- you have to be patient and keep your eyes on the prize- you need to know what lies ahead and keep focused on that-not this temporary period of acclimation. We are here to assure you of what you have to look forward to,get excited about that not depressed about what's going to pass- patience

This little frightened darling has no idea what lies ahead but you do- go about your business,mindfully of course but without worrying about what he is not YET doing-he'll get used to the sounds of the house,you and all of thst- it takes time,time,time

Sit in the room,on the floor,read,talk to him sweetly,ost on TCS and just be present minding your business- cats are curious,after he's comfortable in his surroundings and sees you pose no threat he'll be very curious about you- gee,have I said this before? Lol

Patience,you need patience & trust in our experience - we do know what we are talking about and am telling you what we know- your not seeing progress meanwhile he's not climbing the walls,clawing to get out or howling his lungs out- it's a much better start than many of us started out with and look at our cats now!

This my Timmy( EX feral)

 

[charbby]

That's very encouraging thanks.
Dumb question but when I sit in the room, I face where he hides. Should I face away? I'm doing that now, with my back against him. Is that less intimidating?

YET- you can't see or touch YET

Do you think a year and a half is a long time?Would you give a year and a half knowing thst it will result in many many many years of love and companionship? I worked outside 4& 5 hrs a day with a feral who hid under bushes and who had remained unseen for 6yrs prior to me starting to work with him- took one year to get him to trust me ,the first human being he even had contact with.... then I captured him and the real work began

He's been inside now for 6months,he's loving,sweet,he doesn't hide,crazy for petting and is by my side 24/7..... he hid in his cubby for 2 months and would be terrified of the refrigerator running,A/C turning on & the toilet flushing - it's all in the past now- you have to be patient and keep your eyes on the prize- you need to know what lies ahead and keep focused on that-not this temporary period of acclimation. We are here to assure you of what you have to look forward to,get excited about that not depressed about what's going to pass- patience

This little frightened darling has no idea what lies ahead but you do- go about your business,mindfully of course but without worrying about what he is not YET doing-he'll get used to the sounds of the house,you and all of thst- it takes time,time,time

Sit in the room,on the floor,read,talk to him sweetly,ost on TCS and just be present minding your business- cats are curious,after he's comfortable in his surroundings and sees you pose no threat he'll be very curious about you- gee,have I said this before? Lol

Patience,you need patience & trust in our experience - we do know what we are talking about and am telling you what we know- your not seeing progress meanwhile he's not climbing the walls,clawing to get out or howling his lungs out- it's a much better start than many of us started out with and look at our cats now!
View attachment 465070
This my Timmy( EX feral)

 

[Kwik]

It's fine to face his direction with your body,even better sideways but I'd not have my back towards him as you do want him to see your face and be exposed,he'll look to see your eyes when he does look at you at see you are not looking at him,if you do make eye contact close your eyes,open them slowly and blink then look away- thats" friendly" and non threatening

You don't want to stare into his eyes when you make eye contact" that poses a threat- territorial cats will stare at an intruder and if the intruder is staring back that means " it's on unless you back off" a timid cat will look away ... cats much prefer avoidance to conflict so they do alot of talking first- it helps to understand their body language so you can communicate

 

[Furballsmom]

You could try it both ways. I remember a member who's had a ton of successful experience with frightened and shy cats of all ages would suggest sitting while facing away.