Scared semi feral stray cat hiding for a month

[charbby]

Just brought home a stray cat that I've known for 4+ years. He was very friendly outdoors but has a more timid nature. He's about 5.

I've put him in a room so that he'll adapt better.
Since then, he has been:
- hiding in a way that he doesn't see me when I enter the room
- ignoring all treats I put out (kinda steps over it), even the ones he used to eat when he was an outdoor cat. I've changed out the treats and he only eats them occasionally.
- only coming out at night or when the house is quiet (when we're sleeping or out of the house)
- ignored all attempts to play
- eating drinking and using the litterbox well
- ignores catnip pillow

I've tried to:
- block off all hiding spots except the donut bed, which he primary hides in now
- sit in a room quietly with him
- put a piece of clothing so he will get used to the scent
- put on feliway and calming music
- play with him (but failed)
- put food out at a set time: I've tried to feed wet food at a certain time so he will associate me with food. However, his fear prevents him from coming out immediately to eat and I got worried that the food goes back. I now put dry food down at 9pm and clear it the next day. As much as I don't want to free feed, I don't want him to starve. So now I kinda shake the kibble in the bowl when I come in.
- respecting his space and not approaching him cause he clearly doesn't want to

I feel like I've done everything I know to do. I don't know what else to do and it's making me very sad. This is especially so cause we were friends before and now I can't even get to see or pet him.

Do I just wait it out? What do I do?
I don't intend to put him back; he has made some progress (ie not running so quickly when he hears things) but it's not much and slow.

I've read forums about playing music with vocals so he'll get used to it so I'm trying that now. But overall I feel very demoralized and sad. I feel I've done all I know to do. Mentally I know he will take time, have read threads here saying that some cats take months to get out of hiding. I also feel that I've done the wrong thing, and have been trying to block out those doubts, cause I feel all cats should have a loving home, especially since I stay in a city. I also feel sad that I can't really get friends over cause I'm worried the sounds will scare him.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
Patience is your friend here. From his perspective, he's working as hard as he knows how to learn about all the sounds, smells, routines, and basically everything, because his world has changed quite a lot. He is going to take as long as it takes to learn that this new world is full of good things.

Your expectations are too much at the moment. Don't be sad, you've given him everything he needs. He's with you now, safe, sound, fed and warm. You have all the time in the world. He can pick up on your emotions, so be aware of that.

I personally don't agree with the advice to block off access to hiding spots, because that puts too much pressure on the cat and I frankly think it is unreasonable to try and hurry an animal that is wary, cautious and in his case, shy.

Someone who worked with a lot of ferals and frightened strays commented that lying down can help the cat become more comfortable.

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat - TheCatSite

 

[tabbytom]

I feel like I've done everything I know to do. I don't know what else to do and it's making me very sad. This is especially so cause we were friends before and now I can't even get to see or pet him.

Do I just wait it out? What do I do?
I don't intend to put him back; he has made some progress (ie not running so quickly when he hears things) but it's not much and slow.

Thank you for taking in this kitty

What you've been doing is right. He just need time to adjust and to trust you again. As long as you don't show your sadness and emotions, it is easier to win him back.

How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? [Answered] - TheCatSite

 

[maggie101]

I had a cat that stayed under the couch 3 months,bedroom a year,finally came out on her own. She had run of the house when she wanted to come out so i never had the door closed. Make sure he has places to jump high like furniture or a cat tree. She slept on my bed or bureau.My cat had a cat tower,scratch post, cubes to play in with and a wand toy with a mouse attachment. . She also loved to be brushed,chew toys, and a circular toy with a ball. She is now 9 yrs old. She did not know how to defend herself from my other cats. Her tail would quiver, now she plays with one of my cats. She is afraid of the outdoors. Hides from thunder,gardners,and dogs.

 

[charbby]

Hi
Patience is your friend here. From his perspective, he's working as hard as he knows how to learn about all the sounds, smells, routines, and basically everything, because his world has changed quite a lot. He is going to take as long as it takes to learn that this new world is full of good things.

Your expectations are too much at the moment. Don't be sad, you've given him everything he needs. He's with you now, safe, sound, fed and warm. You have all the time in the world. He can pick up on your emotions, so be aware of that.

I personally don't agree with the advice to block off access to hiding spots, because that puts too much pressure on the cat and I frankly think it is unreasonable to try and hurry an animal that is wary, cautious and in his case, shy.

Someone who worked with a lot of ferals and frightened strays commented that lying down can help the cat become more comfortable.

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat - TheCatSite

I've blocked off unconducive hiding holes. It actually really helped bring him out of his shell more. Right now he has a couple of boxes (which he ignores) and a donut bed which he mainly hides in. I've just ordered another cat bed thing with a larger hole that hopefully pushes him to see me more.

I feel like if he peeks at me he'll see that I'm not scary. Unfortunately his hiding spot right now allows him to bury himself in a way he can't see me.

But yeah patience. It's just wearing me down

 

[Kwik]

Hi charbby
Welcome to TCS- it's a pleasure to meet you and it warns my heart to know another sweet darling has been given a forever home-you did tye right thing!No doubt about it you've just extended thus kitty's life span,did you know the average life span of a stray is only 2yrs?Each moment outside can be their last,an accident,sickness or disease just waiting to happen-don't be sad,the beginning can be quite discouraging but the good news is that it's just temporary- I assure you

If you feel like reading you can read about my Timmy's journey,a 7 yr old TRUE FERAL ,rogue,remained hidden and alone for 7 hard yrs in a Condo parking lot,terrified of people,never knew another cat..... now he's my darling housecat,my lovebug and best pal after just 5 months indoors!Plus,he's part of a 5 cat clowder now----love and patience my friend,that's all it takes.... I agree,every cst deserves a home and someone to love them,every ( any) cat can be a wonderful housecat given the opportunity

Timmy,7yr old TNR true feral! COLD TURKEY!

This is scarey for him,there's nothing scarier for a cat thsn to be in unfamiliar territory- the first thing,the priority is that he gains confidence by being allowed to familiarize himself with his new environment-I know your anxious for him to get to know and trust you but that is not the order of things for a cat-the first thing is a comfort zone,thst comes first and then he will have the confidence to get to know you- right now try to focus on what's important-establish a feeding routine and he knows you are his food source- that's enough for the moment-let him hide,come and go as an unimposing threat to provide food and let him explore at his pace- you can tap your finger on the bowl well you bring food saying " Come eat" or " food time" or one constajt phrase- this will help later when he starts to approach closer & closer to eat because he'll know you are there to feed him-not to grab him or harm him or anything threatening.....

I want to encourage you and support you through this wonderful journey together with your furbaby- be excited and happy,he's in the house - give him a chance to feel safe first.... okay?

 

[charbby]

How do I make him know I'm the food source? He hides in a way that he can't see me so he can't see when I bring in food. I shake the kibble when I walk in. I tried wet food but he has to wait till all is quiet before he ventures out. This means wet food has to be left overnight and I don't want that. He also ignores the treats I put out. He's on a strange self imposed diet cause those were treats he definitely ate as an outdoor stray.

I just ordered another bed for him that's less hidey but my guess is that he likes beds that he is fully enclosed. Probably thinks if he can't see me I can't see him and all is good.

Hi charbby
Welcome to TCS- it's a pleasure to meet you and it warns my heart to know another sweet darling has been given a forever home-you did tye right thing!No doubt about it you've just extended thus kitty's life span,did you know the average life span of a stray is only 2yrs?Each moment outside can be their last,an accident,sickness or disease just waiting to happen-don't be sad,the beginning can be quite discouraging but the good news is that it's just temporary- I assure you

If you feel like reading you can read about my Timmy's journey,a 7 yr old TRUE FERAL ,rogue,remained hidden and alone for 7 hard yrs in a Condo parking lot,terrified of people,never knew another cat..... now he's my darling housecat,my lovebug and best pal after just 5 months indoors!Plus,he's part of a 5 cat clowder now----love and patience my friend,that's all it takes.... I agree,every cst deserves a home and someone to love them,every ( any) cat can be a wonderful housecat given the opportunity

Timmy,7yr old TNR true feral! COLD TURKEY!

This is scarey for him,there's nothing scarier for a cat thsn to be in unfamiliar territory- the first thing,the priority is that he gains confidence by being allowed to familiarize himself with his new environment-I know your anxious for him to get to know and trust you but that is not the order of things for a cat-the first thing is a comfort zone,thst comes first and then he will have the confidence to get to know you- right now try to focus on what's important-establish a feeding routine and he knows you are his food source- that's enough for the moment-let him hide,come and go as an unimposing threat to provide food and let him explore at his pace- you can tap your finger on the bowl well you bring food saying " Come eat" or " food time" or one constajt phrase- this will help later when he starts to approach closer & closer to eat because he'll know you are there to feed him-not to grab him or harm him or anything threatening.....

I want to encourage you and support you through this wonderful journey together with your furbaby- be excited and happy,he's in the house - give him a chance to feel safe first.... okay?

 

[charbby]

Just to share he was quite friendly outdoors and was a crowd favorite. But I really wanted to give a nice home cause it's just not the best being out in a city. It makes me sad that he keeps hiding cause he used to be sooo friendly, though a little timid and skittish.

 

[Kwik]

How do I make him know I'm the food source? He hides in a way that he can't see me so he can't see when I bring in food. I shake the kibble when I walk in. I tried wet food but he has to wait till all is quiet before he ventures out. This means wet food has to be left overnight and I don't want that. He also ignores the treats I put out. He's on a strange self imposed diet cause those were treats he definitely ate as an outdoor stray.

I just ordered another bed for him that's less hidey but my guess is that he likes beds that he is fully enclosed. Probably thinks if he can't see me I can't see him and all is good.

Your scent- your sound,your footsteps- cats are not like peopke,their first sense in familiarizing is scent - hearing is second- sight is not important for them to get to know you - your scent and sound is what they use ( especially at this point and in an unfamiliar environment)

He already knows you friend,that's not changed -look at it this way" it's on a temporary hold right now" the relationship you had is not broken,it's just on pause- first things first,he will go back to his friendly self AFTER he is comfortable in his new environment and establishes his territory..... I promise you

 

[Kwik]

Also,it's good for a cat to have a safe place to hide-a place where you should allow him to feel safe -once he starts to feel confident thst no one is going to bother him ( or look at him as well) in thst safe plsce( cubby or den) then he'll begun to show himself by peeking his little head out ---

I do block off hard to reach hiding places like under beds ,behind appliances ,access to inside WALLS or anyplace like that but I do provide a cat with a place of his own,when he's in that place I don't look at him,don't pet him and give him his space- by allowing them to have that SAFE haven you'll eventually see that when you call your cat- he will come to you ---- your building trust and respecting space which forges a strong union

 

[Furballsmom]

He's on a strange self imposed diet cause those were treats he definitely ate as an outdoor stray.

I just ordered another bed for him that's less hidey but my guess is that he likes beds that he is fully enclosed.

To repeat myself and other comments above, please adjust your expectations, or at least the timing. You are in too much of a rush and that isn't working for him or for you.

You said he's eating and using the litterbox. He can smell the food from whatever location you place it, so don't worry about that. He is shy and wary, and not on a self imposed diet.

that hopefully pushes him to see me more.

Keep that new bed but don't replace the old one he is using. Right now, he needs the emotional stability of the old bed.

He understands you are the food giver. He just needs time to become more comfortable with all the rest of it, please understand that.

 

[charbby]

To repeat myself and other comments above, please adjust your expectations, or at least the timing. You are in too much of a rush and that isn't working for him or for you.

You said he's eating and using the litterbox. He can smell the food from whatever location you place it, so don't worry about that. He is shy and wary, and not on a self imposed diet.



Keep that new bed but don't replace the old one he is using. Right now, he needs the emotional stability of the old bed.

He understands you are the food giver. He just needs time to become more comfortable with all the rest of it, please understand that.

Yeah I don't intend to remove the old bed. I thought to give him another hiding hole cause he ignores the other boxes. I think they're too open for him.

 

[charbby]

As for the self imposed diet, I say that cause out of 4 times I put out treats, he only ate it twice. He seems to only eat it on alternate times. What a silly cat.

 

[charbby]

I guess I'm just very discouraged cause he was so happy outdoors and I keep thinking that I made the wrong choice. And now I can't even see him Hope he can adjust soon.

Whiskers is just a big baby cat I guess.

 

[tabbytom]

As for the self imposed diet, I say that cause out of 4 times I put out treats, he only ate it twice. He seems to only eat it on alternate times. What a silly cat.

Give him time. The whole environment is all new to him. He has been outdoors for so long and suddenly he's indoors, many thought are going through his mind now and it'll take some time before everything sinks in to feel safe indoors.

This is something like thermal shock. Let him get acclimatized and once he senses that all is safe, he'll be more like himself. Just don't rush through the whole process else all your efforts will be lost and you are left with a confused cat.

Love, patience and routine rules the day, no matter how long it takes.

 

[charbby]

Give him time. The whole environment is all new to him. He has been outdoors for so long and suddenly he's indoors, many thought are going through his mind now and it'll take some time before everything sinks in to feel safe indoors.

This is something like thermal shock. Let him get acclimatized and once he senses that all is safe, he'll be more like himself. Just don't rush through the whole process else all your efforts will be lost and you are left with a confused cat.

Love, patience and routine rules the day, no matter how long it takes.

Alright I'll try be patient. It's tough but I'll hang on. I don't intend to put him back; I think that would be very irresponsible. Also I went past his old "home" yesterday and it's a mess as they're pruning trees and carrying out works. Maybe giving him a home is still the best.

 

[tabbytom]

Alright I'll try be patient. It's tough but I'll hang on. I don't intend to put him back; I think that would be very irresponsible. Also I went past his old "home" yesterday and it's a mess as they're pruning trees and carrying out works. Maybe giving him a home is still the best.

Yes, giving time is very important. Yes again for giving him a warm and fur-ever loving home. He’ll appreciate it and thank you for taking him in. Just give him time to adjust.

If you have the time, give this two threads a read :-

Newly adopted Rescue

Hello everyone, I am a new adoptive parent of a 5 yr old female kitty. She spent most of her life as a feral but was taken in by a family with 13 cats. She was attacked by one of the cats and is now with me. I need some tips to help her acclimate, she is currently under the bed for 3 days...

thecatsite.com

Feral in my garage

Hello everyone, About two months ago I became aware of a cat trying to find food in my recycling bin (there were empty cat food cans in there from my two cats) when my dogs chased him away. I thought he must be a stray or feral since none of my neighbors are animal lovers. So, to help him, I...

thecatsite.com

 

[Kwik]

I guess I'm just very discouraged cause he was so happy outdoors and I keep thinking that I made the wrong choice. And now I can't even see him Hope he can adjust soon.

Whiskers is just a big baby cat I guess.

Don't be discouraged and stop second guessing yourself-you followed your heart and you did the right thing- and I'll keep telling you this because I understand how discouraging it can be when you see a seemingly happy go lucky kitty suddenly look terrified & miserable-I get it,really!

But every single person here is here to Encourage you and assure you that happy go lucky cat was destined for a really hard life and simply surviving- now he has an opportunity to LIVE life to the fullest-he doesn't know that but YOU DO.... so be patient and know this is all VERY temporary,tye moment he feels safe,familiar with his new environment and comfortable he's going to go right back to his sweet self and you'll pick up where you left off prior to the transition- we do know what we are talking about,there's no guessing here- chin up,okay?

 

[charbby]

Okay! Thanks all for the encouragement. I'll keep trudging on. Here's an old photo of whiskers back when he was a stray as cat tax.

Will update if and when there's progress (soon I hope)

Don't be discouraged and stop second guessing yourself-you followed your heart and you did the right thing- and I'll keep telling you this because I understand how discouraging it can be when you see a seemingly happy go lucky kitty suddenly look terrified & miserable-I get it,really!

But every single person here is here to Encourage you and assure you that happy go lucky cat was destined for a really hard life and simply surviving- now he has an opportunity to LIVE life to the fullest-he doesn't know that but YOU DO.... so be patient and know this is all VERY temporary,tye moment he feels safe,familiar with his new environment and comfortable he's going to go right back to his sweet self and you'll pick up where you left off prior to the transition- we do know what we are talking about,there's no guessing here- chin up,okay?

 

[Kwik]

Okay! Thanks all for the encouragement. I'll keep trudging on. Here's an old photo of whiskers back when he was a stray as cat tax.

Will update if and when there's progress (soon I hope)

Awwww- so cute..... yes,do keep us updated and more photos are always welcomed!

Even if you've got nothing new to tell us but start feeling anxious again or have any questions,doubts or crazy ideas (eg::" did I do the right thing') lol. Talk to us and we'll be sure to snap you out of it!!!!!There's nothing like having support and others to cheer you on- I'm glad you're feeling better about it all now and just hang in there - PATIENTLY & it'll be just fine