The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2021

[MoonstoneWolf]

Do you suppose it might be because no one likes her?

Regarding putting a camera up, try getting some Command Strips. Basically it's a double sided thick tape that's designed to be removable. If your mother sees it and complains you can demonstrate that you can remove the camera and nothing's been damaged (get extra strips so you can put it back up after the demonstration - they aren't reusable).

Margret

So I wind up collapsing from physical exhaustion because no one may like my Mother? Hmmm

This woman with the feral cats. "OMG, I'm such a mean person. I kidnapped one of the cats and had him taken to be fixed. He was hungry and I did this to him. Now he's so scared." It's her first time. Trying to console her that he'll be over it in a week or so and his quality of life will be so much better.

 

[Alicia88]

I'm such an emotional mess right now.

My best friend, I guess former best friend . . . We've been friends since we were 5. I'm in my 30's now. She got arrested a few years ago. I knew she'd had a drinking problem in the past, but I thought she'd beat it. We all did - our entire friend group. We've all been tight our whole lives. My other 3 friends and I jumped in to help. We did all we could. She'd been drinking again. Hiding it. I went to take care of some things at her house and found no less than 20 empty handles of vodka strewn about. We were all on her side.
Then, her dad pulled some sneaky stuff and took her son. We were all prepared to take care of him, keep him safe, until she was sober and had her shit back together. But her dad blocked that. He was never much of a dad to her. He treated her horribly. Yes, she made her own bad choices, but I don't think her dad's treatment of her helped. She originally started drinking when her mom died.
Anyway, she really went off the deep end. Started dating a loser. Got into meth. Ended up going to prison for a bit. I hadn't spoken to her in 2 years. When she was really hitting bottom, she blocked me. I'm not sure why. Maybe she was ashamed. She got out of prison 2 weeks ago. She added me back. We've been talking. She's clean and sober. Has a job already. She's ready to start fighting for her son, as soon as she's back on her feet. I told her she hurt me. That I was angry and disappointed in her, but I never stopped caring. That she's my sister (not by blood) and I love her. I had so much to tell her.
It was almost like old times, but tainted. I don't trust her like I used to. There was a time when I would have done anything for her, but now . . . if she asks for money, I'll say no. I won't allow her around my kids. Not until I know she's OK. I really want her to be OK again. I want her to get her life back. I'm cautiously optimistic. But I'm suspicious and guarded. And I hate it.

 

[Mia6]

I'm such an emotional mess right now.

My best friend, I guess former best friend . . . We've been friends since we were 5. I'm in my 30's now. She got arrested a few years ago. I knew she'd had a drinking problem in the past, but I thought she'd beat it. We all did - our entire friend group. We've all been tight our whole lives. My other 3 friends and I jumped in to help. We did all we could. She'd been drinking again. Hiding it. I went to take care of some things at her house and found no less than 20 empty handles of vodka strewn about. We were all on her side.
Then, her dad pulled some sneaky stuff and took her son. We were all prepared to take care of him, keep him safe, until she was sober and had her shit back together. But her dad blocked that. He was never much of a dad to her. He treated her horribly. Yes, she made her own bad choices, but I don't think her dad's treatment of her helped. She originally started drinking when her mom died.
Anyway, she really went off the deep end. Started dating a loser. Got into meth. Ended up going to prison for a bit. I hadn't spoken to her in 2 years. When she was really hitting bottom, she blocked me. I'm not sure why. Maybe she was ashamed. She got out of prison 2 weeks ago. She added me back. We've been talking. She's clean and sober. Has a job already. She's ready to start fighting for her son, as soon as she's back on her feet. I told her she hurt me. That I was angry and disappointed in her, but I never stopped caring. That she's my sister (not by blood) and I love her. I had so much to tell her.
It was almost like old times, but tainted. I don't trust her like I used to. There was a time when I would have done anything for her, but now . . . if she asks for money, I'll say no. I won't allow her around my kids. Not until I know she's OK. I really want her to be OK again. I want her to get her life back. I'm cautiously optimistic. But I'm suspicious and guarded. And I hate it.

I'm sorry about about this. Trust your gut. I know someone who recently got her son back after drug problems. She was on a 5 day crack binge last week. He was frightened and is autistic. My helper called in a welfare check while at the store. The police searched her house but found nothing. The following day my helper saw a crack pipe on the ground as our rubbish receptacles blew over in the wind. She took a pic of it. Later on I called to let her know there was a crackpipe by her rubbish. She was floored, said it was her ex-friend's pipe for pot. She was in jail for 6 months for felony assault but the felony was dropped.She thinks one of the other neighbor's called the w/c.

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

So the woman with the feral cats (why she chose me to ask questions is beyond me with all the panic I have over these cats here) got word that her feral boy pulled through being neutered very well. She sent me a video of him being so calm compared to the fear when first trapped. She says she feels better about her decision. I hope she finishes with the other cats that show up. I'm lucky mine came to be TNRd already.

New cat visiting. Either another feeder or someone letting their pets out. But this isn't the forum for the discussion of feral cats so let's just say getting my hair trimmed, did Mom's toenails yesterday although she complained about how I did it. Paid off another outstanding bill/past debt. Put $150 of the money into savings though which I know they say is not the intention of the stimulus but I need a little back up money. Still fighting US Bank (politely). I'll just scream at Alexa lol I am very stupid with computers but it surely does not take a year to get the old phone number off the records and a new one on. If we weren't in this pandemic I could just go to the bank, and have a banker do it right now. But computers really are not the best thing in my experience. I still say they will be the ruination of the world.

UPDATE: Was able to go in and put in new phone number. Guarding this phone with my life so I don't drop it and ruin the receiver part like I stupidly did the other one not even a year old and still paying on.

 

[klunick]

I wish there was an "Ignore" button for people in real life. The two forums I am on currently, I have a few people on ignore and it's magical. I know a few in real life that need one on their foreheads so I could push it.

 

[strider rose]

well i am taking a day off from anything that has to do with walking to places . yesterday wore me out really badly and i cant do it that much physically

 

[artiemom]

Oh, Alicia88 I agree with Mia, TRUST your GUT.... It is your lifeline.. You have been hurt, You do not want the hurt to extend to your wonderful family.. No Way....Trust your Instincts..

Just be cautious.. but at an arms length.. keep remembering that nagging feeling in the back of your mind...

When I ignore that litter nagging voice~~ I get hurt twice as much as I would have; had I listened..

That gut instinct is survival mode.. Listen to it..

You are a good, caring, loving person... never forget that.. You went to bat for your friend.. you were hurt.. yes, you can forgive, but you cannot forget.. that little voice is for your own protection...

As a friend of mine always says: "Listen to your Heart". "It will never steer you wrong".......

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

Mom is screaming at me and throwing things because I opened a savings account. "Why do you waste your time doing that. You know you'll just get the money and spend it in the next 4 months." The bank just took it upon themselves to send me paperwork when I opted for none because of this crazy woman I live with. Nothing I ever do pleases her. Nothing. And it isn't old age. She's been like that all 65 years I've been alive. If I displeased her that much why did she adopt me?

 

[Alicia88]

I will trust my gut and keep her at arm's length. I do hope she can get better and get her son back. Her dad is not the right person for that little boy.


Keaton's father is half black. Kirby's dad referred to him as "that little n-word" for the first few years of his life. He treated kirby like crap growing up. He was never any kind of father to her. She made her own choices and mistakes, but her father certainly didn't help. She started drinking heavily when her mom died. She doesn't get a free pass for having a bad parent, but her dad needs to do better if he's going to raise that little boy.

 

[Lari]

I will trust my gut and keep her at arm's length. I do hope she can get better and get her son back. Her dad is not the right person for that little boy.


Keaton's father is half black. Kirby's dad referred to him as "that little n-word" for the first few years of his life. He treated kirby like crap growing up. He was never any kind of father to her. She made her own choices and mistakes, but her father certainly didn't help. She started drinking heavily when her mom died. She doesn't get a free pass for having a bad parent, but her dad needs to do better if he's going to raise that little boy.

Wow, that's absolutely awful! It's too bad the grandpa got the kid when your friends all would have taken care of him.

Poor child. I'm sure there will be days when mine drives me crazy, but I just can't imagine treating her the way some people's parents here have undeservedly treated them.

 

[strider rose]

i dont want to turn 48 tomorrow lol ... being old sucks badly

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

Or you could wind up being like that 105 year old weight lifting granny I saw on the news a few times and she can deadlift more than a young bodybuilder can. You never know. I need to get back to powerlifting.

Happy Birthday tomorrow. I'm 65 years old so I went through that thought process but it happened to me when I was turning 30

 

[Mia6]

i dont want to turn 48 tomorrow lol ... being old sucks badly

48 is young!!! Certain "activities" get better as you age.

 

[dustydiamond1]

Mom is screaming at me and throwing things because I opened a savings account. "Why do you waste your time doing that. You know you'll just get the money and spend it in the next 4 months." The bank just took it upon themselves to send me paperwork when I opted for none because of this crazy woman I live with. Nothing I ever do pleases her. Nothing. And it isn't old age. She's been like that all 65 years I've been alive. If I displeased her that much why did she adopt me?

 

[dustydiamond1]

So I wind up collapsing from physical exhaustion because no one may like my Mother? Hmmm

This woman with the feral cats. "OMG, I'm such a mean person. I kidnapped one of the cats and had him taken to be fixed. He was hungry and I did this to him. Now he's so scared." It's her first time. Trying to console her that he'll be over it in a week or so and his quality of life will be so much better.

Re: feral caretaker. Try to get her to join TCS, she'll get lots of reassurance and moral support here.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I definitely agree; trust your gut. Addiction is such a messy thing. We lost a family member not from an overdose; but the damage that addiction did to their body. Its FAMILY so you don’t want to just cut them off right? You don’t give up. But we had to literally watch our stuff and yes got taken advantage of several times. Apparently even small mcdonalds gift cards can be traded for drugs and alcohol. We did that kind of thing for birthdays because we didn’t want them going hungry. I had to learn that the addiction changed them. The resulting illnesses changed them. They weren’t who they used to be. This person lost their kids long before they passed away. My hope now is that those kids good lives and that someday we can tell them about who their parent used to be. They didn’t know the real them. But understanding that they just weren’t who they used to be helped me deal with the personal hurt.

My cousin is a drug and alcohol counselor and dealing with the personal boundaries is still hard for her. Her oldest childhood friend has multiple mental illness diagnosis. She is not able to live independently because she doesn’t stay stable. That all makes friendships difficult; but at times she gets violent. And she’s convinced my cousin’s husband is bad. So its even more difficult to set them with my cousin’s small children around. She wants to be a friend; but their safety is paramount. So it limits what she can do. It’s difficult. We all care; but it’s difficult.

 

[Elphaba09]

i dont want to turn 48 tomorrow lol ... being old sucks badly

I turn 46 tomorrow! 48 is not old!

 

[strider rose]

I turn 46 tomorrow! 48 is not old!

Elphaba09 - i sure feel it though lol ... happy birthday to you too

 

[Lari]

Happy Birthday tomorrow. I'm 65 years old so I went through that thought process but it happened to me when I was turning 30

I also had a super rough time with 30, but I didn't like where I was in life at the time. So we'll see how 40 goes when it comes around since I'm in a better place.

 

[susanm9006]

Feeling awesome this morning. Full of energy and doing my usual workout. Very thankful that I had no vaccine reaction at all and that I am done with it and the anxiety about Catching COVID