Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

It was pretty funny now that I can look back on it. I am so glad your come back. Thank goodness. I am glad Ember is slow to get out.

That is a really good plan. I thought that Ember would be fine since you would be with her most of the time. That is the most important thing, that she feels good about the situation. That it is a positive experience. And if someone wants to hang out and it can be a positive then that is great.

Hahahaha, that is always how it is. Yes, she could be looking for warmth more now. In the summer it will be easier to tell if she is not using it.

He was amazingly tame. Got along with the cats BUT he HATED the raccoons. He would flip and get aggressive and hiss to the raccoons. It was actually really scary. I think the food was a big part of building trust with the opossum. I guess that is true for most animals though.

Hahahahaha, you made me laugh about the foul language. I think my cats have told me off a few times. Yes, the fact he doesn't use his force to the fullest tells me that he isn't aggressive. If he wanted to hurt he would and he chooses not to hurt. That tells a lot. It is a conscious thought of his.

That is really positive. The others don't fear her. I think the newest is usually more cautious about going to inconvenience others etc. There is a hierarchy. And Ember (since she is newest) probably defers to Frost and Ash more. And that can cause some of the tension at times because cats don't always like to be at the bottom. Not that Ember is really at the bottom because she gets a lot of attention etc but when it comes to them solely she probably feels a bit more cautious because of her standing. I hope that makes sense. It is wonderful that they really have that much of a bond with you and each other.

Hahahaha, yes. They can be moody. Most get over things quickly. The more confident they are the more they can overcome and move on. I think you have done a really good job with your cats.

 

[Animal Freak]

Yeah, Ember did sneak out on me once. I don't know how she managed it, but she got through when I was trying to desensitize Stella to knocking and was knocking on the door. And I had no clue she was out there until she meowed to be let back in. I've been much more careful about it since though and I get paranoid if I haven't seen her in a while.

I try avoiding locking Ember up when I'm not in there with her as much as I can. She's not usually alone in there for more than a few minutes. When I do shut the door, she usually lays on the floor for a few minutes and then gets in bed with me. It doesn't seem like she wants out, but more like she's making sure everything outside is okay before she gets comfortable.

Well, at least the opossum served as some protection from raccoons. I know we had a raccoon get into the shed when we had our Alaskan malamute mix and got in the dog food. It was big. I could see that being a scary situation.

Haha. My cats tell me off fairly regularly. Well, Frost does anyway. He hates it when I make him get out of the pantry. It got to the point that I didn't even have to touch him. He knew when I went back to the pantry to put something up he'd have to get out and he'd immediately give me a nasty meow and leave.

Ash has always been very aware of how far to push. He'll use claws, but he won't use much. He'll bite, but he won't use a lot of pressure.

Ember definitely seems to back off in most situations. Unless it involves food. She will not give up her food. She definitely gets more attention than they do. The only one who can compare to her is Stella and it's just because Ember is always with me and always demanding attention. I tend to let them come to me, so those who make themselves known get more attention. I wish she didn't feel the need to be cautious though. The boys are pretty laid back. Of course, I say that and there's been some tension going on. Ember has slapped Ash a few times before and during the play session. Then Ash was sitting where Frost usually goes and when Frost moved towards him, Ash slapped him and Frost slapped back. Weird cats. I do wonder if Ember wasn't acting on some excess energy though. The timing of it would make sense and it wasn't anything drastic. Quick slaps and then she'd walk away.

Well, I want nothing more than them to be happy.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes, they are tricky. Wow, that is great she wanted to come back in. Some don't. Whew. I too get paranoid because they will be looking out hte door when I am feeding the ferals etc. And I always wonder if my hands are full if they snuck out if I don;t see them.

That is good. Yes, they do make sure things are ok. It may be the mother in them. The instinct.

Yes but I did worry for the opossum's safety. Raccoons can be really mean and tough.

Hahahahaha, yep, I know exactly what you mean.

Interesting. I didn't get a sense he was like that. BUT he knows where the line is and he doesn't want to hurt. THAT is good.

That is good. Yes, some cats especially the last one in tends to want more attention. I do think the last one is tends to be more cautious because they are entering someone else's territory so there is that caution. Oh there can always been tension and slaps d happen. But that is just a warning. As long as they are not hurting the other cat then it isn't something to worry too much about. Yes, they will get into it when someone is in someone else's space. I see it all the time. My one girl sticks her head in my oldest girl's face to get groomed. The oldest grooms her but once in a while she gets tired of it and slaps her. That is cat behavior to tell the other one to knock it off.Happens in front of me all the time. And then they sleep together. Ember could have been working off excess energy especially if it is in the middle of play (hunt). Or just communicating.If she walks away then it is fine. She expressed her displeasure or whatever and it was over. Point taken.

SO TRUE. I get a sense they are very happy. If every cat in the world had lives like yours the world would be a great place.

 

[Animal Freak]

They can definitely make me nervous. Fortunately, Ember seems to have stopped trying to get out. She never really did put a lot of effort into it though so I've no idea how she got past me.

Ember does like to try to "fix" the problems. Today Ash hissed and slapped Frost and Ember attacked Ash. I think Ash's arthritis flared up though because he was really crabby. He kept growling at Ember anytime she got near him and lashed out at Frost twice. But when Ember came up in front of him, he was fine. He just didn't want them behind him. He even licked Ember on the head a few times.

Oh, I'm sure. I'd worry too.

I have nothing against Ash for it. He just wants to make sure he gets his point across. He's not trying to hurt anyone. His control is really quite impressive. That's not to say it doesn't end up hurting sometimes, but it's not because he's trying to. I just don't have any fur to protect me.

Well, when Ember slapped at him during play it didn't really seem aggressive though it didn't seem entirely playful either. I don't know. It's hard to explain. It just didn't seem like her usual "knock it off" behavior and she was playing without a problem. They've all been a bit sensitive lately though. Ash lashes out at Frost, Frost lashes out at Ember, and Ember lashes out at Ash. The only one who has actually maintained peaceful relationships with all of them is Stella which is kind of funny considering the way things began with her. Ash actually laid on my lap with his nose in her fur and stretched on of his paws out to rest on her side. I don't think it was really intentional, but the fact that he didn't mind is impressive in itself. I mean, Stella still gets the occasional irritated slap, but things never escalate with her and even that doesn't happen too often anymore.

I'd love to give all the cats a good home.

We are thinking about catifying the storage room. We're going to get a lot of the stuff out of it and clean up and maybe put some shelves up, perhaps a new cat tree. It doesn't have vents though so we'll have to use space heaters to warm it up a bit out there.

Oh, yes. I keep forgetting to mention I did put some tape on the carpet runners on the counters. He definitely didn't like it. Tried twice and gave up. Then he jumped in the sink. Unfortunately, he figured out that I didn't put tape everywhere, just the area he usually jumped up on. And he got a hold of a marshmallow today. So I'll be doing the rest tomorrow.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes. That is great that she doesn't want to get out anymore. They can be tricky.

Ember is the mother it seems. Poor Ash. Sometimes they can just be crabby though without pain etc. It is just hard to know. It is interesting that when Ember came up in front of him he was fine and even licked her. WOW. That is great. It is common for a cat to not like potential threats behind them. I wonder if something happened recently where he was frightened from something behind him.

Yes.

Oh yes, they do. Yeah., sometimes the casts get scared and jump off me leaving scratches. They don't mean it but sometimes it hurts.

I know what you mean. It is hard to know. But it doesn't sound too bad. The behavior around an incident like that is what tells us the most. How they react after it. Sometimes when the seasons change or there is a disruption in their routines or there is more stress or outside animals etc then they can get more sensitive. Sometimes things like this are redirected aggression because of outside animals. That is really good Stella gets along with everyone AND that Ash gets so close to her.

SO TRUE.

That is a great idea. The more catification the better it is. Great plan.

He is intelligent and determined. Sounds like my girl. :/ Just do your best. If he still finds a way then maybe it is bet to just leave it so he doesn't jump on something where he could get hurt (like the sink or stove etc). Ughhhhhhh, it is never easy........................

 

[Animal Freak]

I actually tried taking them out on the harness Sunday. We got a bunch of snow Saturday. Well, I say a bunch, but it wasn't that much. A lot for us since we don't usually get more than two inches, if that. I put the harness on them and the leash and gave them a moment to adjust. They did pretty well with that so I picked them up and put them on the front porch with the door cracked open so they could go in, but shut it if they didn't go right back in. Ember ran in immediately though she, of course, wanted out when the harness wasn't on. Ash hung out for a bit on the porch and was very intrigued, but went to the door and so I opened it and he went in. Frost was the calmest and walked around and stayed outside the longest. He seemed really calm, but my mom opened the door to come out and he ran in like something was after him.

I don't know what's up with Ash. He did get better and calmed down. He didn't really look well at that time. But he did growl once more later than day and once the day after. He's nowhere near as crabby though and seems to have finally accepted Stella. They've mostly avoided each other up until recently. Ash did hiss at Ember today though when they were looking for crumbs after their training session. They got into a slap fight after that, but it ended and Ember went back to looking for bits of treats right in front of him.

I just thought of this, but we do have new neighbors too. They're across the street from us and have been here for about a week. I don't think they're the cause of the problem, but they're a bit noisy and I doubt that helps. Ember gets nervous about noises outside and it sets Stella off so then she's whining and barking. Hopefully keeping a routine and giving them plenty of attention individually and together will help.

It's going to take some time. We need to get it cleaned up out there and figure out just what we're going to do.

That could be an issue. I put more tape on the other side and he just walked off of it onto the stove. I do want to try to keep him off the stove. If all we do is make him hesitate before walking across the stove then I'd be happy. I don't want him jumping up there when it's hot.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Wow, and they did so well in such an unknown environment? snow? That is great. They do really well on the harness it sounds. Frost was so good and Ash really too. Ember, wouldn't she just be like that? So funny.

I am glad Ash is doing a little better. It could have been just that moment. It does sound like he likes Stella. He knew she was there. That is actually pretty good that Ember got over the hiss that fast. That is what we like. They communicated and got over it. That tells me they are fine. How did Ash act after the slapping?

If Ember is a bit uneasy and Stella is it could absolutely be causing Ash some unease. And it just goes from there. That is very common. That very well could be the cause. Any change can set cats off. Yes, a good routine and reassurance is very helpful.

Yes. just take it slow and think it over. You will figure out a good way to set it up.

Yes, the stove is a risk. Just keep an eye on it and see what works best. I know it is hard. Yes, we don;t want him going from the floor to the stove not knowing it is hot.

 

[Animal Freak]

Yeah, well they've been on the porch before. Frost especially. We haven't done it much though. Three cats is too hard to keep track of even with two of us. And Ember didn't even go more than a foot from the door except one time. I was surprised no one wanted to leave the porch though. If they hadn't been on the harness they would've been gone.

He's still a little bit sensitive, but definitely not as bad as he had been in that time. I still wonder if his arthritis hadn't flared up, adding onto some other issue(s). After the slapping Ash wasn't happy. He didn't move, but he was sitting kind of hunched up with his eyes partially closed. It didn't help that Stella went over to look for scraps too so both her and Ember were right in front of him. I thought he was going to lash out again at one of them with the way he was watching them, but then he huddled down and started sniffing the floor too, albeit a bit more hesitantly.

It's been frustrating for us too because, of course, we have to deal with the dog barking and whining. It really does just add up. I'm hoping the neighbors will be less noisy as they settle down though I am trying to work with Stella on desensitizing her to noises. It would be good training if they didn't always get loud when I'm trying to do something else.

I put the biggest piece of carpet runner on the stove with tape on it on the stove. He shouldn't be able to comfortable walk up there. I also put tape in front of the sink to hopefully keep him out of that. He doesn't like the tape, but I'm not sure if he dislikes it enough to stay down or if he'll just get used to it.

 

[calicosrspecial]

So true.

It is possible he had some discomfort especially when it is cold or cold and damp. I am really impressed he wasn't happy but he didn't do anything and then sniffed. That is really good, well behaved. I am proud of him.

I know. But they will eventually get use to the noise (or hopefully they do get more quiet). It just takes some time and training should help.

I hope it discourages him. It should but some cats just don't care. Just make sure you always check the stove so it isn't hot when you put the carpet on it. It is easy to get rushed and forget to check and it could start a fire so just be careful. Let's hope Ash says enough and stops trying.

 

[Animal Freak]

I'm starting to wonder if Frost didn't bite Ash or something on the back end because Ash is still a bit sensitive and it seems to be aimed more towards Frost. Ember walked up from behind Ash to get to me and he didn't react. But when I was eating dinner I had all three of them watching me. Frost came up behind Ash and when he first jumped up, Ash actually hissed though it looked like he was looking at Ember (she gave him a weird look, but went back to hoping for food). Then every time Frost got a little closer, Ash would growl at him. Frost was undeterred though and ended up sitting almost on him. Ash growled at him and Frost just looked at him like he had obviously lost his mind.

The neighbors do seem to have quieted down. I hope it stays that way. I don't like the noise either.

So I heard some pretty frantic running the other night. I got up to check it out, knowing it couldn't have been a fight because Ember had been in bed with me. When I first came out, I didn't see anything unusual though. Then I noticed there was a piece of the carpet runner on the floor, so apparently Ash got stuck to the tape on it. And it was the one on the stove. Since then, I have not seen him on the stove, but I have seen him on the counter and in no hurry to get down. He's also started getting up on the computer desk.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hmmmmmm, it does sound like something may have happened between them. Maybe Frost stepped on him or bumped him or something. I would be surprised Frost bite him but it can happen. Keep watching and see if you can tell what is going on. But it does seem like maybe something happened between the boys.

Hopefully.

Yep, that will do it. That surprise. Maybe Ash is just upset that his favorite place (the counters) is not as available as he would like. He sure seems determined to get up high. Maybe see if you can create a safe place where he can go high (like a dresser or bookshelf etc). I wonder if he is going up because he is hungry or just like to go high (and someplace we don't want him). He is a bit naughty lately. Make sure your computer and screen aren't at risk of falling and getting damaged.

 

[Animal Freak]

Sorry about my absence. I was at my dad's this weekend and spend much of my time with the puppy there, so I don't get on my laptop and I stayed an extra night because of snow.

Oh, I don't think Frost would have bitten him out of aggression or anything. However, he does have a nasty habit of going for the private areas when he plays. He taught the other two to do it too though he's the worst. It would only have taken him being an inch off to bite Ash's back legs or perhaps Ash was a bit sensitive at the time. Ash has gotten better and hasn't hissed or growled since I've been home, but I did see him jump and turn suddenly when Frost walked behind him.

He's definitely causing a lot of problems. My mom isn't helping matters as she's pretty much just lost patience with them and doesn't seem to care what I say. They apparently had a fight one morning while I was gone and when she got up Ash was going after Ember.

As far as high places go, he has a few options. They have three cat trees, all of which are taller than the counter. We have the older washer and dryer out in the storage room with stuff piled on top of them and they like to go up on those. They can also get to the top of a cabinet out there going that way which Frost likes. Ember's taken to my bookshelf, of course, and I wouldn't stop him from going up there, but he's never even tried. That would probably be the highest place for them to go. I'm not sure what else to offer him though we are, of course, thinking about catifying the storage room, so that'll offer some other places, but that's going to take a while.

I'm not sure that he's hungry (but I am considering moving their dinner time since it is a bit late), but I believe food is part of it. Getting on the counters is basically self-rewarding because he can get into any food left up there or things used to cook. I saw him licking a spatula earlier and just went out there because I heard a noise and heard two thumps of a cat jumping down. Both Ash and Frost were walking out of the kitchen when I got there. Ash has gotten over the presence of the tape and I think I'm going to add more since it lost a lot of it's stickiness.

The computer and monitor should both be fine unless he gets extremely bold. The desk is set up on two levels and also has two shelves on the side. The computer is on the bottom shelf and the monitor is on the second level of the desk, which is narrower and completely covered it stuff. But there's plenty of other things for him to get into since that's where a lot of papers and things are kept.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Please, never feel like you have to apologize. A puppy? Very cool. Oh my, I hope the snow wasn't too bad.

Yes, I didn't think he would. Oh my, naughty boy for doing that. My one feral likes to bite other cats but at least not there. It is very possible he did something accidentally to Ash. It sounds like they have something going on lately. It is really good he is better now though. Maybe he is feeling better or more comfortable.

Oh no. That is not good. Hopefully they will settle down. If your mom is feeling stress they can pick up on it. Just try to help her out with things around the house to help her de-stress a bit. Only one situation while you were gone is not bad but for her it may just be a little too much. Helping her out could help the situation.

Those are a lot of options. Not much more you could really do. Sometimes cats just like to go where they aren't supposed to. :/

Sounds like one of my girls. She isn't hungry but she likes different foods (especially breads and sweets). Ash may just want something different. Ughhhhhhh, I know how hard hopefully the tape will at some point help.

Well that sounds like they are pretty safe. Hopefully he gets a little less energetic as he gets older. He is like a kitten in many ways (which is really good but has it's bad points as you are seeing now).

I am worried your mom is a bit stressed about them again. Just try to help her in any way around the house, do things for her, be extra nice. She sounds like a really good person and she seems to really love the cats but sometimes things get us stressed out and it can impact other things. So the more we do to ease their stress the better in all ways it can be.

 

[Animal Freak]

Oh, yeah. They got a puppy a little while ago. Before Christmas. He's a lab mix and is getting big fast. He's not getting enough training though. I do what I can when I'm there, but that's only so much. The snow wasn't too bad. It just gets dark so earlier and I was worried about potential ice. There was just no reason for the risk.

Things do seem better. Ash is getting along with the other two alright.

I don't really know what to do. Their fights don't really concern me as much at this point, but my mom gets so irritated. As it is, I do probably over half of the house work and I do everything for the animals. The only time she has to take care of them is when I'm at my dad's. She seems to think that I shouldn't have made their breakfast so early, but there wasn't a choice. I can't feed them at 7:30 just because that's when she gets up on the weekends. We were leaving by 7:30. We don't have to leave at the time, but I don't have to get up at all in the morning. I go back to bed, so I prefer the time earlier while it's still dark outside.

Ash is persistent if nothing else.

Well, they've gotten into sweets and bread. And meat and meatless meat. I caught Ember in the sink today. Ash is teaching bad habits.

Ash is in more a teen phase now than he ever was before. And he still doesn't play much though more than he had been.

My mom isn't a bad person, but she's short-tempered and sometimes a bit narrow-minded. She acts like they're going to do everything she wants like a dog would and even beyond that. Of course anyone would be stressed and in a bad mood if they let every little thing get them worked up.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Very cool. Well, labs are good dogs thought hey can be a bit wild. Yes, better to be safe than sorry. Ice is scary.

GREAT!!! It should continue but they always have bumps in the road. Mine have their moments, almost all multi-cat homes do but the severity is usually pretty minor (though it always sounds worse it seems).

Yes, their fights are really not concerning to me either. I agree with you. BUT your mom doesn't always. Good for you for doing more than half the household work!! I am guessing she was just stressed or tired or both and the breakfast was an excuse rather than the main driver. Just make sure you try to understand and sympathize with her views. Just try to make an effort next time. I know it is hard and it sounds like you had no choice really. I know how hard it is when the cats want to eat earlier and others want to just relax a little longer. It can be hard. Just try to understand her, stay calm, and do your best. I get a sense your mom is understanding so I know you can soothe things and help the situation.

Hahahahaha, yep. I just finished lunch and had my girl on my lap begging for some sun chips. Now, she knows she can't have those (and she just had a lot of turkey from my sandwich) but she too is persistent. I know the feeling. She is the one that likes to go in the cabinets as well.

Yes, they love to follow the leader.....................

It sounds like it. Which is good in many ways. It is great that he is playing more even though it isn't as much as you would like.

I think she is really good person. She really accepts a lot and it is not easy having multiple animals and then having unexpected bills for the vet and just the life pressures of job and money and bills etc. Life can be really hard as a parent a lot of time and we can get a bit short tempered. It is hard to understand how different cats are versus dogs. And you have great cats. Imagine having really naughty ones. Yes, I agree, anyone would be stressed and in a bad mood if every little thing gets us worked up. I have been there. But a lot of times we take it out on the people and things we love because we know they will still love us. And there are usually big concerns that drive our mood and stress and then little things just tick us off. And it is usually money things, job things, family things, neighbors, etc. So imagine when you have an exam and you are worried and get stressed and then something happens (like dropping a glass and it breaks) that causes you to have to stop studying or not get the sleep you need before the exam and you worry about the exam but this broken glass is delaying and stress goes higher etc. We all face it and we all go through moments like this. Life gets pretty complicated at times and I guess I can understand because I have gone through some times like that and it seems like nothing goes right no matter what you do. Not saying that this is what happening but I am trying to say that sometimes a lot of stuff happens and we get a bit stressed and everything kind of seems more difficult. That is why anything we can do to make things a little better not only helps but it usually really appreciated (whether someone says it or not).

Sorry, that was longer than I thought. But hopefully it make a little sense and is helpful.

 

[Animal Freak]

He's definitely wild. We were actually worried about him at first because he was so calm and laidback and slept more often than not. Turned out he had a hernia and the vet removed it when he was neutered. Huge difference.

It certainly sounds awful, especially when Ember feels trapped. She makes some terrible noises.

I just don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I can't just change their feeding time simply because it's an inconvenience the four days a month she has to feed them. My schedule will change eventually too and I have no clue what it'll look like come fall, so I wouldn't want to change it now when it's possible it would have to be changed later. I do think I need to break it up into three meals though. It'll be easier now to try to find a time. I'm not sure that that'll change anything about the fights in the morning though.

Ember just tries to stick her face in my food when I eat... She does all the cute stuff for my mom. That cat knows she's cute, I swear. It's the only reason I started feeding her in the first place.

Frost was in the sink today....

Oh, yes, it's wonderful. I think. It's nice knowing his arthritis isn't that bad. I worry about it sometimes.

Yeah, I know there's definitely a lot of stress. She doesn't get the respect she deserves at work and we can only just manage taking care of the animals as well as ourselves. We've been to the vet five times this year, too, which is more than usual. I just think she lingers on things too much. Sometimes you have to let go and move on. I try telling her stories about the nightmares some people have to deal with so that way she realizes that these cats really aren't all that bad, but it doesn't seem to stick. Reading those stories always makes me feel better about my situation.

No need to apologize. I will admit, it was a little surprising. I'm usually the one typing more than I mean to, but it's not an issue at all.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Oh wow. That is good he got it fixed and is back to normal. Whew.

Oh I know. It is scary even when you know everything is fine but there is always that worry. They can sound so scary.

I know it is hard and can be frustrating. Just try to think of how it might make it a little easier (if any way). And try to let her know you understand her concern and that you are trying to figure out a better way. Maybe on a weekend see how it might work if you feed them on the time she would want and she how they react. Maybe those 4 days she could feed them later and they might be accepting (of course they may not either but it might be interesting to see how they respond). Just try to think of things to maybe help her out. But I know it is hard. You are smart and thoughtful so I know you will be able to figure out a way to make things better or more understood.

Hahahahaha, yep, sounds like one of my girls. They are good at "acting". I guarantee she knows she is cute. Too funny.

Ash really does teach them naughty habits.

Yes and yes it is good his arthritis isn't bothering him as much. That is fantastic. Let's hope it stays this way for a while. Arthritis is awful.

Yes, unfortunately that happens too often. Work is hard, bills, etc. At least she has a great family (you). We are what we are so it is hard to change. It is easy to say "not worry" or "don't stress" but all of us deal with things differently. Some people can accept better things they can't control and others get more frustrated. Like right now I have a coyote and an owl trying to get my ferals. I do everything I can to protect them but other than bringing them inside (which I can't) or finding them homes (which I can't) there isn't much I can do and it is stressing me out, frustrating me, making me ornery. I can't let go either even though I try to do all I can. Some of us are better at letting things go or accepting things etc. But the main thing is if we have others that can support us, helps us with things. Of course a bad boss or money trouble or predators like coyotes and owls etc are not easy to be helped with but sometimes having someone helping out with things and being nice and supportive etc is really appreciated and helpful even though sometimes we don't always tell them that it is helpful. And with cats they are different than dogs. They do get into it more but it sounds worse than it really is. But for people not use to it it can be stressful and disconcerting. It is just through experience and learning that it eases the worry but it does take some time.

Thanks. Though I may have done it again.....................

 

[Animal Freak]

I guess I can try feeding them at a different time on the weekends, but it's not the most convenient thing unless I have my mom feed them which I try to avoid because I don't think she ever started giving them wet food in the morning and I try to make sure Ash gets as little dry as possible. She already feeds them later on the weekends. I found feeding them on time cut out most of the fights in the morning, but she won't do that and I can't completely blame her. I get up later than she does, so it's not as weird for me to go back to bed.

Ember is a pro.

He does! Frost teaches them to bite inappropriate places and Ash teaches them to get in inappropriate places.

Ash acted a bit weird today. I actually made a post about it since it was very odd for him, so if you want all the details it's there. Otherwise I'll be typing all night. He was laying on my lap and I lifted him up to my chest since I was going to be getting up and I figured he'd leave if I move him. But he stayed. Then he growled. He growled a couple of times and hissed a few times when I lifted him up. I tried first lifting his front and back end and then just his front end in case it was his arthritis. He seemed to direct at least some of it to Ember who had been laying on the couch. It was odd, but he seemed fine shortly after that and hasn't had any issues.

I stress easily, so I get that. And I hate the fights as well. They scare me and it's especially bad when you're waking up to it. But I know them and I've done my research, so I know that there's no point in stressing over it. They haven't hurt each other yet.

That's awful about the coyote and owl. That would be a very stressful situation to be in. Of course the predators are just trying to survive, but that would definitely be hard.

So I had this almost completely typed out yesterday, but forgot that I hadn't actually finished it. Everything before this paragraph was typed yesterday and everything from here on was typed today.

Ash has been weird again today. Again, I have a forum on it. I don't want to type everything since that would take forever and this would be a much longer post. He lays on my lap totally content until I move or try to move him. Then he growls and hisses. I swear I didn't touch his backend and even tried moving only his shoulders up and still got growled at. He bit me once, but it wasn't much of a bite. He just laid his teeth on my arm. Then he laid there, purring with his head tucked against my arm and his paw over my wrist while I typed, but every time I moved my arm a little too far, I could feel his grip tightening and his claws would start digging in a little.

He also half-heartedly slapped and hissed at Ember though not sure why. Just caught the slap out of the corner of my eye. I think just because she got too close behind him. She's been doing really well with all his hissing and growling. She watches him warily, but doesn't go after him or anything. When he slapped her, she just watched him for a moment and then sat with her back to him and groomed herself.

Also, saw three cats today on the porch of the cat lady's house. Just referring to her as "the cat lady" because I don't know anything about her whatsoever. There was a mackerel tabby, a classic tabby, and a black cat with a white locket. The mackerel was up on the arm of the bench while the other two were next to each other on the bench. None had ear tips marking them as neutered ferals, but all seem to be in good condition. The mackerel is a somewhat ragged looking cat, but it might just be it's fur. It looks somehow thin despite being very long and fluffy. The black cat is short hair, so the easiest to see it's condition and it's actually more on the fat side of things. The classic tabby is absolutely gorgeous. Lovely warm brown fur with thick black markings and light green eyes. I want to start taking pictures to keep track of them, but am afraid I already look a bit like a creep lingering around the house though I haven't seen any signs of human life yet.

 

[calico man]

Hmmmmmm, it does sound like something may have happened between them. Maybe Frost stepped on him or bumped him or something. I would be surprised Frost bite him but it can happen. Keep watching and see if you can tell what is going on. But it does seem like maybe something happened between the boys.

Hopefully.

Yep, that will do it. That surprise. Maybe Ash is just upset that his favorite place (the counters) is not as available as he would like. He sure seems determined to get up high. Maybe see if you can create a safe place where he can go high (like a dresser or bookshelf etc). I wonder if he is going up because he is hungry or just like to go high (and someplace we don't want him). He is a bit naughty lately. Make sure your computer and screen aren't at risk of falling and getting damaged.

To Calicosrspecial: Love your user name because calicos are special!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Just try your best. I know you will think about it and see what might work best. I know it is hard. Feeding them earlier does seem to cut down on "incidents" since they tend to be more content after eating in my opinion.

I believe it.

Oh my, yes. It is always something with cats..............

I am guessing he as thinking "what are you doing, I am comfortable". It could be he was in discomfort but I think it is probably the former. Also, with Ember there cats can be more sensitive (emotionally) since there is a little distrust. So sometimes I think they could misinterpret who it is and be growling at the other cat (I know I have had that happen in intros before). I know one of my girls does that once in a while. And I think it is because she is so warm and comfortable and she thinks "what are you doing, don't you know not to bother me?". I am a bit short on time now but I will check out your post tomorrow. It is out of character but it is not all that unheard of. It is good he didn't have any lingering issues.

Yes, it is understandable. And experience and knowledge help a lot. Your mom will understand in time I think. I think she loves them more than you think and she just worries they will hurt each other or they are unhappy etc. She will understand they are fine though in time.

It is horrible.

Thank goodness for the save function.

I actually get that with my one girl once in a while. They just want the situation and for it not to end it sounds like. That is what I believe in my situation. If he wanted to hurt you he could have so the fact he didn't tells me he didn't want to hurt you. I think he just wants you right now and doesn't want it to end. Digging in tells me he doesn't want to move or get kicked off. But we need to keep an eye on it. It is not all that strange and more common than you think though it is out of character for your cats but not for cats in general.

It could have been play or a warning. BUT her reaction tells us a lot. NO CAT would turn their back on a predator if she really feared him. I actually take it as a really good positive. A slap is communication and nothing bad happened.

Yes, just be careful because sometimes people don't like people taking pictures of their home etc. We don;t want an incident. It sounds like she probably does feed the ferals. Not all spayed/neutered cats are ear tipped. Hopefully they have TNRd them though. It sounds like they are well taken care of or have good access to food and they must feel secure their.