-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Anyone Else Have Nobody
- Thread starter daisyd
- Start Date
Phooey on those people, that's why you have us 
Please don't take her back yet. Please, please try some yummy Beaphar valerian treats and spot-on (Dudley's just had some spot-on because I need to tackle his tummy shortly as he's grown a gigantic dreadlock!). Also, please look into Zylkene, Cystease, Pet Remedy, and Feliway Classic. She'll likely be just as freaked out if you take her back there without you, and you won't be able to do anything about it. So, please get her something to calm and sooth her stress before taking her anywhere. And, bare in mind that all three of you are going through a very stressful time right now and so the timescale will be playing tricks on you, and to give her more time to adjust.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #124
How did it go? Did you get some calming stuff for her. And consider this before you leave her there : if she starts crying and carrying on like she did with you just what do you think he is going to do to make her stop???!!!
I just saw this post am just reconnecting to this website and I hope each day is slowly better for you. G-d has given you a challenge but taking it one day at a time and one moment at a time can help. Sometimes life really is crap and I just want to Hollar but I come home and there is Tutu needing me to feed her and love her. She is my one and only. I do have a few close friends but my family - mom and sisters and their families are far away. It is just as well as they do not understand what I am going through."It's the most wonderful time of year" except for when it isn't. I'm sorry for you, and anyone else, who is going through loneliness this year. The season is a time for spending with family, yet it also highlights all our family losses. And I'm sure it doesn't help that it's winter and the shortest days of the year. Plus you're feeling under the weather with your cold.
Enjoy your day with Gracie. Maybe go out tomorrow and buy her a little Christmas present, just a catnip toy or something. Wrap it, and when you have a quiet time with Gracie, make a big deal of her gift. And, maybe even buy yourself something special from Gracie. She may be "just a cat" but she's also a part of your family, so enjoy your Christmas day with her.
And this time next week the holidays will almost be over and you'll have a new year, and a new life, to plan.
In 1993 I was teaching college and vocal about electromagnetic health effects as I was teaching in a new field of computer graphics. I was living near two marine air corp bases. I was targeted two nights in a row with radiation weapons testing and harassed with a low frequency infrasound for years after. ( I got acoustic engineering evidence of this.) My immune system and nervous system basically failed. I had been severely injured. Thank G-d for my UCLA doctor who helped me uncover my injury and believed in me. My injury is similar to those who survive an ionizing injury (like X-ray, gamma ray)but I do not know what I was exposed to. It is incredibly lonely to have been a talented pretty and bright woman who was overnight just destroyed. I miscarried and could not get pregnant. My boyfriend of 15 years left me, my health went south, I gained a huge amount of weight, I developed autoimmune problems and immune IGG B cell deficiency (leads to lymphoma)and there were break ins and tampering. No one would help. I am hypersensitive to radiofrequency and allergic to medicine that could help and smart meters fighting to get them off my block and still wanting justice on my original injury.
The one thing that makes me happy is my kitty Tutu but she too has suffered in my tampered with property. We both developed tumors one year after gas smart meters were installed on my block. She has IBD and chronic hepatitis and pancreatitis but right now she is on good meds and good food and she is stable. The other thing that makes me happy is knowing there is no statute of limit on torture which was done to me and belief that someday there could be justice. Though my failing health hangs over my head I know those who injured me have hanging over their head the possibility of them going to jail and hell and that is their problem. Someday I will write a book about it all,the story needs to be told. Too many have unlimited power and sophisticated weapons they have no right to unleash on the public.
I survive by looking down at others worse off than me who still find their way and by trying to find purpose in my life to make things right again as much as possible somehow. Take it one day at a time.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #127
Thank you , it is incredibly lonely and I know going home is the easiest decision to make.. however will he really have changed and got clean in a week !
Gracie hides under the quilt in the bedroom all day whilst I’m at work which I feel guilt about - I know she has been under there a long time as when I take her out from there she is sweating.
She hasn’t cried for 2 nights now and is eating and weeing , the monkey is even biting me again x
Gracie hides under the quilt in the bedroom all day whilst I’m at work which I feel guilt about - I know she has been under there a long time as when I take her out from there she is sweating.
She hasn’t cried for 2 nights now and is eating and weeing , the monkey is even biting me again x
I'd stay put. Your kitty might just be reflecting your stress. They are little mirrors. He needs time to straighten out. You need your kitty and time to prove to yourself you are ok on your own. We all have horrible challenges at one time or another in our life. Look at what happened to me and others on this post. Take it one day at a time and stand firm. Prove to yourself you can be without him. Set a one month goal. Maybe then you can see more clearly. Otherwise it will be back and forth again which will be even harder for your kitty.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #129
Gracie is slowly improving- she Is a very shy cat anyway so this move must have been extra difficult for her (and me). She stays in the bedroom when I’m at work - has everything in there and I have pulled the blinds up so she can look outside - think she spends most of the day in bed .
As soon as I come home I let her explore the flat and she sits on the sofa with me
As soon as I come home I let her explore the flat and she sits on the sofa with me
DaisyD,it IS getting better. For you and you cat. Be honest with yourself for a moment and realize that part of you WANTS to go back,and your little one being upset is/was your excuse for considering it. You don't have to admit it here to us,just look inward and admit it to yourself. You are addicted to him as much as he is addicted to drugs.
Your title to this thread says a lot. "Anyone else have nobody?". You are scared of being alone. Totally understandable! Most people would hate that,as we are a pack mentality species. But often co-dependency can become an issue. And be aware of this,as it is the most important thing you should hear from anyone....there are lots of good people in the world out there looking for the same thing you are who don't have serious issues like drugs controlling them. You will not be alone forever. You just need this time alone to regroup and move forward.
Your title to this thread says a lot. "Anyone else have nobody?". You are scared of being alone. Totally understandable! Most people would hate that,as we are a pack mentality species. But often co-dependency can become an issue. And be aware of this,as it is the most important thing you should hear from anyone....there are lots of good people in the world out there looking for the same thing you are who don't have serious issues like drugs controlling them. You will not be alone forever. You just need this time alone to regroup and move forward.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #131
Thank you , I do so desperately what to go home - all my stuff is there and I feel lost however i Know he won’t change and he will not be clean in a week !
I am addicted to him , I thought he was my rock all I have !
I am addicted to him , I thought he was my rock all I have !
...sending you 's, and gentle scritches for your Gracie!
's, and gentle scritches for your Gracie!- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #133
Thank you everyone ! Gracie still acting a bit silly however she is spending more time in the living room with me ! I’m desperately Looking for new place as obviously this place is temporary - had to hand in forms to try and take me off tenancy !
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #134
Gracie is getting back to her greedy self and eating again , she has found a spot on the window which I’m please about , she’s also found a spot where she can look at herself in the mirror which is funny , and she’s walking around the apartment now ! I know we will have to move again when I find somewhere however in the interim I hope she is aware this is for both of us ! I’m receiving nasty text messages daily now - accusing me of cheating as he only apparently pulled my hair the once...
Attachments
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #136
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2018
- Messages
- 29
- Purraise
- 81
Hey! I know this is an old thread but hopefully I can share some hope? I know exactly where you are. At the beginning of december, my girlfriend of more than 2 years decided to up and leave. Nothing happened, nothing changed, we weren't even bickering that day, it was a wonderful pretty day outside, we'd just gone to the farmers market together. Bam, gone, one second to the next it went from blowing me a kiss and telling me she loves me to screaming at me, biting me, packing her car and driving back home from to TX (from WA). In the breakup I felt like I'd lost a lot. I lost my best friend, my only friend; I lost my future plans, plans for the rest of my life. I did, however, keep all the growing and learning I'd done in that 2 years. I kept the good job I had just started, and my experiences, all the self-improvement I'd done. And I kept my kitties. Funny enough, one of them is named Graycie (with a y because she's gray, seriously.) It's been 3 months and I tell you what I have been feeling down. I've been finding it difficult to not fall off the wagon, I quit drinking almost a year ago, but the social atmosphere of a bar sounds better and better lately. I don't have any friends, really, either. I work 11 hours a day 4 days a week, I come home and pretty much spend all my time in my garage/workshop. I've got all my tools, my computer, a recliner, and my kitties Prim and Graycie to keep me company. It's not easy, I'm talking like I've mastered it but this is not the first time I've been in this situation and it still sucks just as much. I know I'll pull through though, because I don't have a choice. I'm not doing myself or anyone else any bit of good by moping around. People don't want to hang out with people who aren't fun to hang out with or talk to. The hardest part is stopping the snowball. Getting depressed and lonely makes you (not you, specifically, the general "you"), desperate for people to spend time with, but since people don't really want to spend time with people who are depressed, they don't, and you get more depressed. I've been there, and I truly am sorry that you're there now. I've found this website to be a really good place to talk to people. Cats make me smile, and I'm more of a "talk to people" rather than "be around people" kind of person.
The worst advice I was ever given, other than "just get over it", was "look yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself you're awesome." Seriously terrible advice, and it was meant sarcastically too, which made it worse. I did take bits of it with me though. You are a person, and because of that you deserve just as much as every other person on this planet. You were given this life to do with what *you* want to do, for yourself, not for anyone else. If there's someone who wants to share that with you, great! If that person doesn't show, whatever, I'm still doing what makes me happy. Some people knit, or sew, or quilt, or make soap. I make chainmail, I work on electronics projects, or programming, or 3d modeling. I listen to audio books at work instead of music, because I can tune out music and still think, but I can't tune out a book that I want to "read". These are things I want to do, that make me happy, so it's hard to be miserable while I'm doing them. Time really does heal all wounds, I know that in 10 years this breakup won't hurt as much as it did/does. I know that because 5 years after my divorce I don't hurt over what happened anymore, my ex wife is one of my best friends and I talk to her frequently. My advice to you is to think of something you've always wanted to try but never got around to, or something you've never even thought about before, some hobby or activity, something that focuses your attention on that, so you can't focus on misery. Over time, the sadness will go away, I promise. Occupy your mind with things you like to do and screw anyone else. And spoil yourself a little. I've been making little $5 and $10 orders on Amazon lately. Nothing to break the bank, just little electronics things to play with or new tools, stuff like that. Retail therapy is a thing, as long as you can keep a good grip on it. Oh, and always snuggle your kitty, like all the time, and talk to them, they're really good listeners. I find kissing Prim's head then putting my forehead against hers to be very relaxing, and she purrs like crazy when I do. I call it a Prim Kiss.
You deserve to be happy. All you have to do is find a way to pay more attention to something that makes you happy than you do to something that makes you sad. Anyway, hopefully I've helped a little. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I'm only 28, but I feel like I've been through my fair share of life's difficulties, both under and out of my control. You'll pull through, I know you will.
The worst advice I was ever given, other than "just get over it", was "look yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself you're awesome." Seriously terrible advice, and it was meant sarcastically too, which made it worse. I did take bits of it with me though. You are a person, and because of that you deserve just as much as every other person on this planet. You were given this life to do with what *you* want to do, for yourself, not for anyone else. If there's someone who wants to share that with you, great! If that person doesn't show, whatever, I'm still doing what makes me happy. Some people knit, or sew, or quilt, or make soap. I make chainmail, I work on electronics projects, or programming, or 3d modeling. I listen to audio books at work instead of music, because I can tune out music and still think, but I can't tune out a book that I want to "read". These are things I want to do, that make me happy, so it's hard to be miserable while I'm doing them. Time really does heal all wounds, I know that in 10 years this breakup won't hurt as much as it did/does. I know that because 5 years after my divorce I don't hurt over what happened anymore, my ex wife is one of my best friends and I talk to her frequently. My advice to you is to think of something you've always wanted to try but never got around to, or something you've never even thought about before, some hobby or activity, something that focuses your attention on that, so you can't focus on misery. Over time, the sadness will go away, I promise. Occupy your mind with things you like to do and screw anyone else. And spoil yourself a little. I've been making little $5 and $10 orders on Amazon lately. Nothing to break the bank, just little electronics things to play with or new tools, stuff like that. Retail therapy is a thing, as long as you can keep a good grip on it. Oh, and always snuggle your kitty, like all the time, and talk to them, they're really good listeners. I find kissing Prim's head then putting my forehead against hers to be very relaxing, and she purrs like crazy when I do. I call it a Prim Kiss.
You deserve to be happy. All you have to do is find a way to pay more attention to something that makes you happy than you do to something that makes you sad. Anyway, hopefully I've helped a little. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I'm only 28, but I feel like I've been through my fair share of life's difficulties, both under and out of my control. You'll pull through, I know you will.
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2018
- Messages
- 29
- Purraise
- 81
D'oh! I forgot the pictures of the babies!
Graycie
And Primrose, who goes by Prim
Graycie
And Primrose, who goes by Prim
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #139
H
HaLo2FrEeEk
thank you so much, your message is helping . I laid here with Gracie now. I think what really hurts is the realisation he has been using me for 6 years , he never really loved me; just the security I gave him - money for rent , bills, and of course his drugs . I’ve let myself be used all this time . He’s 10 years younger than me and goodlooking - he actually messaged me the other day and said: ‘I could have someone young and beautiful but I loved you’. Cheers mate !!! I lost a baby and a family and my mind over the last 6 years . I had to flee my home and now have to pick up all my stuff and put in storage until I find somewhere ! The irony is he’s stilll blaming me ! Saying I cheated on him and I’m a you know what !
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2017
- Messages
- 17,142
- Purraise
- 44,465
Wow, he really said that, "I could have someone young and beautiful"? That makes me mad. I'm glad you left him. You don't say that to somebody you love, it's insulting. He's not even your friend if he says something like that. 
