Anyone Else Have Nobody

[Brian007]

I'd wait a wee while longer, if it were me. Moving her back and forwards will only add to her confusion and unsettledness. And, if she is to remain being your cat then she should go where you go. She will adjust in time. Get her some tasty calming treats, recommended by Dudley:

 

[Norachan]

PLEASE WAIT A LITTLE LONGER!


I know it's heartbreaking to see her like this, but it's perfectly normal. My cats all hid under the sofa and refused to eat when we first moved house. I'll be so worried about her if she goes back to stay with your ex, I think you need her as much as she needs you now. It'll be much better for you both if you stick together.

Try heating up some of her favourite food, that will make it smell more appetizing. Or you could try her with some cooked chicken? I had a lot of luck trapping feral cats using fried chicken as bait, they can't resist KFC.

 

[daisyd]

Thank you ! I wondered where the purraise buttons were yesterday - thought they’d been taken off .

She has started eating again today ans has chirped ! Not sure if to keep her in one room as I’ve been taken her into the living room during the day with me .

Her litter box is in the bathroom Howevft she has still not gone to toilet . I hope she does today .

I’m trying to work out what to do . I can have him taken off the tenancy however and Gracie and I go home. However not sure how he will react. Or I can take myself off tenancy and find new place - I’m upset as I’ve moved so many times in a few years and that flat was finally my home . Plus will it affect my anxiety ? Or I ask him if he will leave and live with his dad until he goes into detox However I will need to change locks . That way he can stay on tenancy whilst he in rehab and we can look at options when he is sane and clean .

I obviously prefer last option however not sure he will go for it

 

[rubysmama]

So happy to see that Daisy is eating. That should mean litter box deposits are next.

Your last option for housing sounds the best. Are you on good terms with his Dad? Maybe you could talk to him, and get him to help your ex get into detox.

 

[daisyd]

Gracie has just had a wee so I’m pleased ! No his dad is an idiot however has told him he can move in with him . Maybe I should just leave him to it however I know he WILL lose the flat - I pay everything and I paid off all previous rent arrears . He might not bother going to rehab now - when I spoke to him he said was only going to go for me and Gracie - well that’s not good for a start as he needs to get clean for him and that’s why he’s not been able to do it !

If Gracie didn’t eat today I would have had to take her back.. It is peaceful here no arguments .. she used to get scared back home so hope she likes the peace and understands what I’ve done

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ Many drug addicts continue to relapse - especially when they lack motivation to stay sober. Sadly, by "helping " addicts you can actually enable them to continue their behavior. I think you know this .
Best thing is to take care of yourself and kitty .
Congratulations on kicking the ciggys !

 

[daisyd]

Drug addicts never get Clean I need to be proved wrong

 

[Kreatorcat]

Drug addicts never get Clean I need to be proved wrong

15+ years without drugs right here. No rehab needed. Just a month to dry out before starting a career that I still love to this day. And I wasn't a piker,I was a real deal abuser with a bank account and built in audience to allow it to happen for decades. And tho I(rarely) have dreams where I suddenly have a huge quantity of dope in my hands,all I can think of it "how do I get rid of this before I get caught with it!".....not "How do I get the tools needed to do it."

People who want to stay clean can, if they have the correct reasons. I didn't do it for me(at the time),but as time went on I realized it was the greatest thing I ever did for me as well as my family and friends. They all say I became the sweet boy I was as a child. What better thing could they have said?

Sorry to make this about me. Just pointing out that people can change it they want it bad enough,and outside incentives can be a real and good encouragement.

Also note,animals may not eat during periods of stress,but they will adapt and eventually get hungry enough to eat again. Usually the only reason to stop eating forever is during serious sickness. Glad to hear she is eating again.

Edit...and tho I no longer have a mate/significant other,I have plenty of friends both online and in real life,including my ex-girlfriend who has our cats and let's me visit them often for a weekend. I doubt it will ever bother to find another,as I was alone for a decade and perfectly fine then...and I am perfectly fine again now. You have to be happy with who you are first and foremost.

 

[daisyd]

I still love him which is annoying ! Every now and again the real him comes back and we can talk. Hopefully going for a coffee later today to talk .

 

[dustydiamond1]

YIKES!! I'm sorry I didn't see this until tonight, alerts aren't working all the time. Don't feel bad about getting Gracie out of there, you can't trust an addict alone with anything that can't defend its self. Even if the harm is not on purpose. If your work thought it is a bad enough situation to put you two up somewhere safe then it is dangerous for you and her to be there! Try to get some of your and her things from the flat, try to go with someone preferably when he isn't there. As for where you are now, put some cozy blankies around for her to snuggle, that leather doesn't look very cozy. Don't you dare second guess yourself about leaving or about taking her with you! Just think, if he was telling the truth about her crying when you left well...she must not have cared much about being there alone with him and who knows, maybe he was lying just to mess with your head. Stay calm, you got out so you wouldn't have an anxiety attack so don't give yourself one now! If you calm down she will calm down. You said "It is peaceful here no arguments .. she used to get scared back home" Remember that. @micknsnicks2mom had good suggestions about leaving the tv or a radio going while you are gone and sticking to a routine. Remember the title of this thread and why you started it in the first place. You stop driving yourself crazy and just maintain for a while. We love you so keep checking in with us.

 

[daisyd]

Its only 4:30am however after hiding and not eating most of yesterday, Gracie has just eaten, and been to toilet - I’ve moved all of her stuff - litter box, food and made her like an enclosed bed using the lid of her litter box , and her blanket into the bedroom so it’s one room . Maybe giving access to whole flat too straight away was too much . She laid on her back purring whilst I stroked her so pray she realises I’m doing this so WE both can have peace .

Thank you all for kind words and encouragement

 

[Norachan]

Glad to hear that daisyd

 

[dustydiamond1]

Its only 4:30am however after hiding and not eating most of yesterday, Gracie has just eaten, and been to toilet - I’ve moved all of her stuff - litter box, food and made her like an enclosed bed using the lid of her litter box , and her blanket into the bedroom so it’s one room . Maybe giving access to whole flat too straight away was too much . She laid on her back purring whilst I stroked her so pray she realises I’m doing this so WE both can have peace .

Thank you all for kind words and encouragement

 

[dustydiamond1]

How are you girls doing?

 

[daisyd]

IM going to have to take her back home , she was up at 2am crying and trying to get out , she was once a happy cat and now she isn’t and I went hope and found her hidden under the covers all day . Hi hate what he’s done to us, ive lost everything now my cat .

 

[dustydiamond1]

IM going to have to take her back home , she was up at 2am crying and trying to get out , she was once a happy cat and now she isn’t and I went hope and found her hidden under the covers all day . Hi hate what he’s done to us, ive lost everything now my cat .

Try some of the calming sprays, plug-ins, med from vet etc.. Anything!. Did you leave the TV or radio on for her while you were gone? She is going to be miserable there without you, and may get hurt and ignored. Does she have snuggly places to go where you are?

 

[Brian007]

Please don't take her back yet. Please, please try some yummy Beaphar valerian treats and spot-on (Dudley's just had some spot-on because I need to tackle his tummy shortly as he's grown a gigantic dreadlock!). Also, please look into Zylkene, Cystease, Pet Remedy, and Feliway Classic. She'll likely be just as freaked out if you take her back there without you, and you won't be able to do anything about it. So, please get her something to calm and sooth her stress before taking her anywhere. And, bare in mind that all three of you are going through a very stressful time right now and so the timescale will be playing tricks on you, and to give her more time to adjust.

 

[daisyd]

OK everything back at the flat , I’ll get some bits ! When she was crying I thought sod it I’m going back to the flat ! People at work are like : she’s just a cat! She isn’t she’s my baby and I feel miserable when she is .

 

[Brian007]

And you're her mummy and she feels miserable when you do. Chin up. It will get better.

 

[daisyd]

Thank you , I want to go home so much ! He reckons been drinking his methadone last few days