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Discussion in 'The Cat Lounge' started by daisyd, Dec 23, 2017.

  1. daisyd

    daisyd Thread Starter TCS Member Top Cat

    Jan 21, 2017
    I’m unwell with a cold and pretty down . Sometimes only feel I have my cat Gracie which is sad I know . Friends have come and gone, I have no family and a partner who says he’s only with me as he feels guilty. He’s staying with me over Xmas And then he’s going . I’m bearly 40 years old and can’t stand being this lonely . I always wanted my own family, one I could have a great Xmas and you know that great life it others seem to have grasped easily . Had my chance 3 years ago however lost my son at birth. So yeah life feels like it sucks at the moment . Sorry , just want xmas over with I suppose
    ArchyCat, foxxycat and sabian purraised this.

  2. maggiedemi

    maggiedemi TCS Member Top Cat

    Mar 26, 2017
    I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were going through this. Your posts always sound so happy. I love hearing about your Gracie stories. Men can be such jerks. They don't want to stay anymore. Cats are better anyway. Hugs to you and Gracie. :redheartpump:
    kirathecat, foxxycat, sabian and 5 others purraised this.

  3. jcat

    jcat Mo(w)gli's can opener Staff Member Moderator

    Feb 13, 2003
    Mo(w)gli Monster's Lair
    :hugs: I'm sorry you're feeling so down and life isn't looking so great at the moment. In a little while you'll probably be thinking, "Good riddance!" , but in the meantime, cuddle up with your Gracie and get well soon!
    :grouphug: <--- just added by Mowgli!
    foxxycat, sabian, dustydiamond1 and 4 others purraised this.

  4. daisyd

    daisyd Thread Starter TCS Member Top Cat

    Jan 21, 2017
    THank you so much. Feel a bit silly for posting but just bit lost. Life seemed ok until 5 years ago and I just can’t get it back on track. My dad killed himself, then the pregnancy.. just been consistent.. little Gracie is keeping me going ..
    foxxycat, Alejandra Rico and sabian purraised this.

  5. neely

    neely May the purr be with you Staff Member Forum Helper

    Dec 22, 2005
    Never feel reluctant for posting, sometimes we all need to express our feelings. I'm very sorry for your loneliness right now and the tragedies you have experienced, both with your dad and your pregnancy. But I'm truly thankful you have Gracie, pets are the best therapy. Thinking of you and sending special thoughts your situation will improve in the new year. :hugs:
    Alejandra Rico, Docs Mom, foxxycat and 9 others purraised this.

  6. Max's Human

    Max's Human MAX Alpha Cat

    Nov 25, 2017
    I think we all have great times, ok TImes and times we JUST WANT TO PASS! That sadly is what makes us human. When I was diagnosed wirh breast cancer at 29yr of marriage, I was told my health "is a deal breaker" and he filed for DIVORCE! He then said he would stay if I got rid of my beloved cats. I found light and am going to live DESPITE HIM, kept my cats and one day you too will get through it. The folks here are some of the nicest people anywhere and cat people in my book are some of the best out there! Focus on what makes YOU happy no matter if you hear a song on TV and it makes you dance with joy! Hugging your furkids, whatever it may be. And I for one am here for you♡♡♡♡ Do not focus on a death but the life prior and honor it!
    Alejandra Rico, foxxycat, sabian and 10 others purraised this.

  7. Kitty Mommy

    Kitty Mommy TCS Member Alpha Cat

    Oct 7, 2017
    I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I know what its like to feel so down. This time of year can certainly make it harder especially with the losses you have suffered. I'm sorry your partner is so heartless. Maybe this will be an opportunity for you to take care of yourself and heal your pain. Although things seem low right now, remember that as a person you are quite valuable and anyone who can't see that is a moron. You and Gracie will get through this.
    rgwanner, foxxycat, sabian and 6 others purraised this.

  8. daisyd

    daisyd Thread Starter TCS Member Top Cat

    Jan 21, 2017
    Thank you so much all of you . Dad sadly thought he was doing everyone a favour by doing what he did however ended up destroying people by doing it too . This site and the people have been great , some evenings after work just log on and read.. @Max's Human that’s been awful and glad you recovered and as you say got through it.. will try get through next few days and hope for fresh start for Gracie and I in the new year x
    Docs Mom, foxxycat, sabian and 7 others purraised this.

  9. artiemom

    artiemom Artie, my Angel; a part of my heart Top Cat

    Dec 22, 2014
    near Boston
    Oh Sweetie.... I mean that... I am in my early 60's... an only child.. my dad died on Jan 3 of 2012... it is still raw to me... I am an only child....I do not have a significant other.. I am alone... It does get lonely at times.. but I try to go out every day and connect with someone or something.. It is hard.. I get very lonely at times.. I mean it..at times, the emptiness has been overwhelming-- but I have survived.. I do not know how, but I have..

    I guess the sayings I really hate are: "It gets better with time'; Things happen for a reason" .... but you know what? They are so true... It stinks, but they are true...
    I try to take one day at a time..just about impossible for me, but I try... it does help..

    All I can say is...that it is manageable.. I mean it.. Yes, times do get rough, but with the help of my religion, and my guy, Artie... and the wonderful friends I have met through this forum, it is manageable....

    I am so sad and sorry that you are feeling so down.. Yes, it is the Season.. It is a love/hate relationship with it... but, because of the people here, a close friend, and my therapist, I have come to realize all my blessings... Yes, I dread the Christmas holidays, because it reminds me of sadder times with my dad: hospice care, hospitalization, his eventual death.. but, I have also become so thankful for what has been given to me:
    My openness to having friends, my openness to people... thankfulness for what I have and the blessings/good things that have happened to me...

    I honestly cannot relate to your life/terrible experiences...I cannot imagine dealing with a suicide...but, try think of good things.. the loving things you did with your DAD...
    The ways he showed his love for you.. the ways you loved him...try to focus on good memories.. Good Memories always get us through the worst times...

    I am glad you have Gracie.... Honestly, I do not know where I would be without my guy, Artie... despite all his health issue.. I have found music to help a ton..and my therapist..If you need meds, then take them...they are not, forever... just to get you through this...

    Our "Loves' give us the fortitude to go on... they give us unconditional love..
    Our babies are special to us...they give us a reason for living and loving...

    I do not know if I have helped...but, please know, my heart and thoughts are with you...

    ramscici, dragoriana, SheriB and 14 others purraised this.

  10. Mumsy2420

    Mumsy2420 TCS Member Kitten

    Dec 23, 2017
    Hi, I have just joined on this site today, and came accross your thread, am so sorry you are going through this, I also have no family and friends, if you ever need to talk I am here, not sure how you can contact directly? lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️
    foxxycat, sabian, daisyd and 9 others purraised this.

  11. daisyd

    daisyd Thread Starter TCS Member Top Cat

    Jan 21, 2017
    @artiemom it Is hard isn’t it this time of year . I always believed in fate and things happening for a reason and even god but last few years I feel haven’t got that . Gracie has been so sweet! She’s never been loving and it’s like I’m on a 5 minute timer when I smooth her; however today she has been my shadow and has let me hug, smooth and even hold her for a long time . Thank you everyone .. feel bit silly and maybe selfish as know I’m not the only one.. x
    foxxycat, sabian, raysmyheart and 6 others purraised this.

  12. artiemom

    artiemom Artie, my Angel; a part of my heart Top Cat

    Dec 22, 2014
    near Boston
    Please: and in capitals for a reason.. DO NOT FEELS SILLY OR SELFISH!!!!
    I MEAN IT!!!!

    This is an awesome group, filled with awesome people...

    If, if you feel, that I, can be of any help,,, PLEASE contact me... just use the @ feature. or contact me in a PM.....

    please, I mean it....

    Docs Mom, foxxycat, sabian and 5 others purraised this.

  13. artiemom

    artiemom Artie, my Angel; a part of my heart Top Cat

    Dec 22, 2014
    near Boston
    Our loves know us... they feel our pain, they want to help us...
    I do not know, but just give in to them... they re so intuitive...

    love, and tons of hugs and love ....
    foxxycat, sabian, raysmyheart and 5 others purraised this.

  14. Kitty Mommy

    Kitty Mommy TCS Member Alpha Cat

    Oct 7, 2017
    Cuddling a cat is the best tonic for a bruised soul. :petcat:
    Docs Mom, foxxycat, sabian and 8 others purraised this.

  15. Kitty Mommy

    Kitty Mommy TCS Member Alpha Cat

    Oct 7, 2017
    No need to feel silly or selfish. I found this site when I was hurting and I feel like I found new friends. I hope you will feel that way too.
    foxxycat, sabian, daisyd and 5 others purraised this.

  16. JamesCalifornia

    JamesCalifornia TCS Member Top Cat

    Apr 1, 2016
    Los Angeles
    ~ Don't be so sure about the "great life" you think you see in others. Relationships are not always what we think. People have a lot of problems they don't expose on the surface .
    Like music ? How about cooking ? Perhaps just go out and just mull around being lazy , thinking you have the freedom to just relax and take care of yourself and kitty. ( I like to do that myself )
    Don't forget you can volunteer at any hospital and visit patients who are alone. Animal shelters also need volunteers. If you like you can try visitng some psychology web sites and read what they have to say about your feelings .
    `:redcat: Be well and stay safe ... :hellocomputer:
    Docs Mom, foxxycat, sabian and 7 others purraised this.

  17. kookycats

    kookycats TCS Member Top Cat

    Feb 7, 2010
    Naples, Fl
    So sad to read your post. I guess all of us have had these bad times. I do have my husband and our 3 kitties. We do not have any children and not too close relationships with nephews. Have a great niece but she is around 3 hours away from where we live. I really sometimes worry about what the future will bring, as we are both senior citizens, but just try to take one day at a time. I wish you were near us so that we could get together.
    foxxycat, sabian, dustydiamond1 and 5 others purraised this.

  18. mightyboosh

    mightyboosh TCS Member Top Cat

    Jul 19, 2017
    Burnley, UK
    foxxycat, sabian, muffy and 7 others purraised this.

  19. Lari

    Lari TCS Member Top Cat

    Nov 18, 2017
    I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all of that. I've definitely had years where I hated Christmas and my birthday because I felt they were milestones to remind me of how little I'd accomplished compared to others my age.

    Good riddance to your partner and here's hoping 2018 will bring you a new and better one (who loves cats, of course). And don't give up on having that family. It's never too late.
    angels mommy, foxxycat, sabian and 7 others purraised this.

  20. rubysmama

    rubysmama Forum Helper Staff Member Forum Helper

    Nov 25, 2013
    "It's the most wonderful time of year" except for when it isn't. I'm sorry for you, and anyone else, who is going through loneliness this year. The season is a time for spending with family, yet it also highlights all our family losses. And I'm sure it doesn't help that it's winter and the shortest days of the year. Plus you're feeling under the weather with your cold.

    Enjoy your day with Gracie. Maybe go out tomorrow and buy her a little Christmas present, just a catnip toy or something. Wrap it, and when you have a quiet time with Gracie, make a big deal of her gift. And, maybe even buy yourself something special from Gracie. She may be "just a cat" but she's also a part of your family, so enjoy your Christmas day with her.

    And this time next week the holidays will almost be over and you'll have a new year, and a new life, to plan. :hugs:
    Docs Mom, angels mommy, foxxycat and 7 others purraised this.

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