PLEASE IF YOU LOVE YOUR PET LIKE YOUR OWN CHILD I BEG YOU TO READ THIS WHOLE POST. Me and my wife are really hurting right now and would be beyond grateful hearing from anyone who feels as strongly as we do about our beautiful beautiful baby. Our whole world revolves around her and right now our world is crushing us to death.
I'm sorry if this post is very long and/or full of errors. But I can't help it, I'm too mentally broken up to care or concentrate. I know to almost everyone here their cat is a member of their family. However, for my wife and I; our Mew Mew is our daughter, literally. It makes no difference that she is a different species. Honestly, the only thing keeping us both from making plans to join her in the afterlife soon is our belief in god and hell. Yes, I'm 100% serious. We are that devastated. Everything we have/will have is COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS without her.
And we have a lot. By the grace of god we are in an amazing position in life right now (more on that below). But shes so important to us that EVERYTHING we have doesn't mean anything to us. We are already both very fragile people (mentally) because of the extreme difficulties we both faced when we were younger. So it takes very little to break us. And this is beyond just breaking us.....its the worst of the worst thing that could have happened.
My biggest fears for the last few years has always revolved around her getting a renal or cancer related illness. Therefore, I have been extremely diligent in making sure we do everything possible to detect any illness early and treat it aggressively. This includes semi annual check ups, annual full blood work, annual xrays, annual stool/urine samples.....you get the idea.
Yet today we confirmed our biggest fear. Even with all this screening she somehow contracted the rarest of the rare form of stomach cancer and it remained undetected until the very end. Stomach cancer is only 1% of all total cancer cases in cats. Out of the 4 or so different types of stomach cancer only one is not treatable in the advanced stage. And of course that is the one she has. There is nothing we can do but watch her pass in front of our eyes. We had our regular vet, a radiologist and an oncologist run a battery of extensive tests (total $1,700) to make sure this was really not treatable. Unfortunately they told us no amount of money will even give her a month to live.........We wouldn't feel this bad if this happened when she was older but she is relatively young (11), so we cant accept this without extreme grief.
Before this diagnosis we were prepared to do ANYTHING to give her a chance. If spending $10-20K would have given her a chance at life we would be willing. We love her so much that if we could even take years of our life to give her life we would do it without hesitation. But our beautiful daughter has NO CHANCE!! All we can do is make her comfortable and wait until the day she gets bad enough to put her down..........
She is the most unique cat ever. She is like a dog trapped in a cats body. She loves us so much that she cant stand to not be around us 24/7. In fact her need for us is so strong that we have cancelled vacation before because 2 of the only other people she loves couldn't watch her (we refuse to leave her at boarding houses or to any pet sitter).
Since she got sick our baby mostly just wants to be left alone. Now she sits on our screened patio and stares off into the distance as if she knows her time is near. Me and my wife have both had extremely difficult lives growing up. By the grace of god we have gotten to a point where we are well enough to where we will never work again by the time we are in our mid 40's. I'm mentioning this because even though we know are in a great position in life and it will continue to get better; its meaningless without our daughter.
Today we are 100% sure she is leaving us. But ever since yesterday when there was even a possibly that this may not be treatable I have been a complete mess. I'm a stereotypical "strong, silent, doesn't talk about his feelings" type of guy. I have had many many great difficulties in life but most of them I kept to myself. I usually never felt the need to share. In fact, this is the first time I have posted on any forum about how I feel. But I absolutely can't help myself in this situation.....I feel as fragile as a child.......
Since yesterday I can barely sleep, eat, my body/chest aches and I can't concentrate on anything. I'm constantly crying and I don't even give a damn if I type this for the world to see. And our baby isn't even gone yet......I can only imagine how much worse it will be when her final moments are here. My wife is doing even worse. I love our daughter so so much and there is nothing I can do to help her!!!! I would trade my life for hers if I was given the option. But at this point all I can do is make her comfortable till the end. I just sit near her as long as possible to spend every precious moment with her and just listen to a song on repeat that I always dreaded would become reality for me one day:
"There is nothing left of you,
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you,
But I can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels,
And say the last goodbye"
If you have felt this strongly for your pet or been through something similar please respond. Even a few words will give me and my wife some comfort knowing others can truly understand how strongly we both feel.
I'm sorry if this post is very long and/or full of errors. But I can't help it, I'm too mentally broken up to care or concentrate. I know to almost everyone here their cat is a member of their family. However, for my wife and I; our Mew Mew is our daughter, literally. It makes no difference that she is a different species. Honestly, the only thing keeping us both from making plans to join her in the afterlife soon is our belief in god and hell. Yes, I'm 100% serious. We are that devastated. Everything we have/will have is COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS without her.
And we have a lot. By the grace of god we are in an amazing position in life right now (more on that below). But shes so important to us that EVERYTHING we have doesn't mean anything to us. We are already both very fragile people (mentally) because of the extreme difficulties we both faced when we were younger. So it takes very little to break us. And this is beyond just breaking us.....its the worst of the worst thing that could have happened.
My biggest fears for the last few years has always revolved around her getting a renal or cancer related illness. Therefore, I have been extremely diligent in making sure we do everything possible to detect any illness early and treat it aggressively. This includes semi annual check ups, annual full blood work, annual xrays, annual stool/urine samples.....you get the idea.
Yet today we confirmed our biggest fear. Even with all this screening she somehow contracted the rarest of the rare form of stomach cancer and it remained undetected until the very end. Stomach cancer is only 1% of all total cancer cases in cats. Out of the 4 or so different types of stomach cancer only one is not treatable in the advanced stage. And of course that is the one she has. There is nothing we can do but watch her pass in front of our eyes. We had our regular vet, a radiologist and an oncologist run a battery of extensive tests (total $1,700) to make sure this was really not treatable. Unfortunately they told us no amount of money will even give her a month to live.........We wouldn't feel this bad if this happened when she was older but she is relatively young (11), so we cant accept this without extreme grief.
Before this diagnosis we were prepared to do ANYTHING to give her a chance. If spending $10-20K would have given her a chance at life we would be willing. We love her so much that if we could even take years of our life to give her life we would do it without hesitation. But our beautiful daughter has NO CHANCE!! All we can do is make her comfortable and wait until the day she gets bad enough to put her down..........
She is the most unique cat ever. She is like a dog trapped in a cats body. She loves us so much that she cant stand to not be around us 24/7. In fact her need for us is so strong that we have cancelled vacation before because 2 of the only other people she loves couldn't watch her (we refuse to leave her at boarding houses or to any pet sitter).
Since she got sick our baby mostly just wants to be left alone. Now she sits on our screened patio and stares off into the distance as if she knows her time is near. Me and my wife have both had extremely difficult lives growing up. By the grace of god we have gotten to a point where we are well enough to where we will never work again by the time we are in our mid 40's. I'm mentioning this because even though we know are in a great position in life and it will continue to get better; its meaningless without our daughter.
Today we are 100% sure she is leaving us. But ever since yesterday when there was even a possibly that this may not be treatable I have been a complete mess. I'm a stereotypical "strong, silent, doesn't talk about his feelings" type of guy. I have had many many great difficulties in life but most of them I kept to myself. I usually never felt the need to share. In fact, this is the first time I have posted on any forum about how I feel. But I absolutely can't help myself in this situation.....I feel as fragile as a child.......
Since yesterday I can barely sleep, eat, my body/chest aches and I can't concentrate on anything. I'm constantly crying and I don't even give a damn if I type this for the world to see. And our baby isn't even gone yet......I can only imagine how much worse it will be when her final moments are here. My wife is doing even worse. I love our daughter so so much and there is nothing I can do to help her!!!! I would trade my life for hers if I was given the option. But at this point all I can do is make her comfortable till the end. I just sit near her as long as possible to spend every precious moment with her and just listen to a song on repeat that I always dreaded would become reality for me one day:
"There is nothing left of you,
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you,
But I can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels,
And say the last goodbye"
If you have felt this strongly for your pet or been through something similar please respond. Even a few words will give me and my wife some comfort knowing others can truly understand how strongly we both feel.
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