Will My Cat Miss Me?

[chillingwithcharlie]

Am I wrong for thinking about rehoming my cat ? Will he miss me ? Will he hate me forever ? Will he ever adjust to a new place and new people ? I’m all he knows... I don’t know what to do. I have a 3 year old dom shorthair named Charlie. I’ve had home since he was 8 weeks old through 2 relationships and 3 Apartments he’s been my constant. I’ve always had issues with his behavior. I love him and I’m okaY with and used to a lot of things he does, but in all honesty, Charlie is not a nice cat. He’s mean. He doesn’t like to be touched, talked to or looked at unless he’s in the mood. He sleeps with me at night and sometimes wants to cuddle but for the most part he’s on the attack all the time. He does t let me cut his nails and there are now 3 local groomers he cannot go to because he has bitten or attacked the staff. I don’t know what to do with him. I also now live in a complex where I’m not even allowed to have animals but I snuck him in with me. Am I a terrible cat person for adding all of this factors together and thinking about giving him away ? I don’t know what to do with him. He’s not good with kids and even though he likes me sometimes I never know when he’s going to attack. I’m not scared of him but he scares me sometimes. And I hate being scared of an animal I love so much. I don’t know what to do. There’s a group in my area that takes in “unwanted” cats and places them in new homes. I just want to make sure I’m not wrong or a bad person for thinking about giving up on him. I think maybe in a few years when I have the property that allows animals and the space and the time I could have another cat. I just don’t want to feel like I gave up on Charlie but I also don’t want him to hurt someone or get caught being in the apartment and then I’m forced to get rid of him. I want it to be on my own terms. Am I being selfish?

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

From what you describe, I'm not sure that it's fair to another person, or family to try to place him somewhere else until you can find out WHY he is this way. Have you had a Vet thoroughly examine him to make sure he doesn't have some undiagnosed pain that is causing this behavior?

Here is an article on aggression in cats that might be a start to trying to figure out something about Charlie: Why Do Cats Attack?

Additionally, I'll refer you back to your very own thread from last September. Am I A Terrible Cat Mom ? Did you try any of those suggestion offered at that time? I notice you started the thread, but saw no follow-up from you. There was several responses to your thread, all seemed very valid. Before giving up on Charlie, I would at least try some or ALL of those ideas and see what happens. He may not be easy to re-home as is

It is possible that he has some sort of neurological issue, but I would definitely investigate behavioral issues first.

 

[chillingwithcharlie]

Actually I tried a lot of the suggestions in my earlier post. Nothing works. I don’t want to medicate him and force him to be in a sedative state. That’s not fair to him. Just because he’s aggressive or mean doesn’t mean he should be medically restrained. I want him to be able to enjoy life and be himself. I don’t want to inhibit his natural behaviors. I’ve never wanted to tame him, just to be able to coexist with him. But like I said it’s not just the behaviors that has me thinking about rehoming my friend there’s a lot of other factors to consider. Am I a terrible person for thinking about getting rid of my cat before I’m forced to get rid of him or do I hold out until push comes to shove and he hurts someone and has to be put down or I get evicted for having him ?

From what you describe, I'm not sure that it's fair to another person, or family to try to place him somewhere else until you can find out WHY he is this way. Have you had a Vet thoroughly examine him to make sure he doesn't have some undiagnosed pain that is causing this behavior?

Here is an article on aggression in cats that might be a start to trying to figure out something about Charlie: Why Do Cats Attack?

Additionally, I'll refer you back to your very own thread from last September. Am I A Terrible Cat Mom ? Did you try any of those suggestion offered at that time? I notice you started the thread, but saw no follow-up from you. There was several responses to your thread, all seemed very valid. Before giving up on Charlie, I would at least try some or ALL of those ideas and see what happens. He may not be easy to re-home as is

It is possible that he has some sort of neurological issue, but I would definitely investigate behavioral issues first.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

Have you tried going back to your original thread and discussing what you have tried and telling them what happened with what you did try, etc. Those folks on that forum are good at what they do (cat behavior) and might still be able to help you IF you give them some feedback. I would try that first, and see if you can figure out why Charlie is the way he is, because, honestly, I don't think he would be too adoptable "as is". Have you discussed him with the "place that takes in unadoptable cats" to see if they would take him? You might start up a conversation with them to determine if it's even feasible.

There are times when one simply has to give up their cat, for one reason or another. We have had posters with cats who terrified them, attacking them much worse than it sounds like Charlie attacks you. Sometimes they finally give up. One poster actually had to jump in her car to escape and drove away and left her cat behind. (she was in the midst of moving anyway) I would NEVER advocate that, but it has happened, and she explained that the cat was attacking her at the time. She did go back but couldn't find him afterwards.

Chances are Charlie will not hate you forever if you give him up. I don't think cats are really capable of those type of human emotions. If he is able to be adopted by another loving person, he will probably be just fine.

 

[kittyluv387]

Is he neutered?

 

[inkysmom]

Taking medication does not put any animal, or human for that matter, in a medicated tramcelike or sedated state. It just can treat anxiety, aggression, depression, which research shows are genetic real medical conditions and can be inherited. You have to use medication to treat someone, cat or human who has any medical condition like cancer, diabetes, thyroid problems, heart diseases, asthma, etc. It's non negotiable to save their lives. Anxiety can cause fear aggression. Thyroid problems and pain like from early onset arthritis can also cause aggression. Medically treating with a painkiller for arthritis pain or an antianxiety medication won't make him a zombie.

My dog has been on Zoloft for two and a half years now. He had separation anxiety so severe he destroyed my last apartment, almost jumped out a third floor window to go after me when I left to go to work, and literally broke windows and knocked out two window air conditioners. He was so frantic and howling so loud he would have seriously hurt or killed himself without medication.
He acts just like he did before, he runs, plays and wrestles with other dogs, takes off chasing rabbits and won't come back, sneaks off to eat the cat food, loves everyone and has to meet and make best friends with every single person and dog he meets, plays fetch (or really keep away), had me out at 3am because we got the first real snow of the year and he loves it so much I couldn't resist taking him to a big field so he could race around in pure joy like an absolute maniac and of course eat the snow lol (it turned to rain today so will all melt or freeze and he hates rain lol). He drags me and knocks me down in the snow cause he just loves to leap and bounce through it.
He plays with his dog buddies at the park for at least one to two hours a day. If I skip a day he's a hyper basket case

Does that sound like a sedated animal to you? He's gotten aggressive over the years only when he's been sick or in pain. When he had Lyme disease he got in some minor fights at the park. Same when he had hypothyroidism, plus he had no energy and slept all day and gained five pounds in a month despite eating less than normal. Recently was reactive and got into one fight with a dog he's hated but ignored for two years. Found out he has mild hip dysplasia on one hip and that other dog ran into him and crashed into the sore hip, provoking the fight.
Mental health problems are legitimate medical issues with genetic and inherited traits. Medication is reasonable and necessary, especially when as you say, "nothing works" and you're ready to re-home. It won't or shouldn't make him sedated. As to being natural, clearly that's not working for him and he's suffering mow. Cats get aggressive when they're in pain, anxious, afraid or very stressed. If he had cancer or diabetes, keeping him "natural" without treatment would very quickly kill him.
Trying to give away a cat you call aggressive can also be a death sentence. There's millions of loving cats needing homes euthanized just for lack of space in shelters. When I called a no kill shelter years ago about a shy abandoned and abused stray and his feral buddy, I was told they'd be put to sleep because they would take too much work to socialize.
So I kept them their whole lives.

Medication could be medically necessary and much better than any alternatives. And if you've had him since he was a kitten and are the only home he's known, of course he will miss you. He's bonded to you as his only owner no matter how he shows it

 

[inkysmom]

The aggression isn't his natural behavior. No animal is born mean or aggressive. They either learn it to ward off abuse and torture in their environment or they develop it as a symptom to show that they're in extreme distress, and they're living in constant fear or pain.
That's why having them fully examined and tested for thyroid problems and pain and arthritis and joint problems is so important before making any decisions. For dogs test for all known tickborne diseases. If no medical causes are found, try antianxiety medication and look at lifestyle and interactions.
He's already showing he's highly stressed and not on his natural state of happiness and health.

 

[Jcatbird]

Please follow up on all the above suggestions. I had a cat I named Viscious. I was attacked too. After figuring out her problems I changed her name. She now loves a comfortable, quiet and happy life with me and some other cats. Her new name is Flowers! Charlie is very capable of missing you. You need to pin point the problem before making any decisions. If you don’t do that then you risk him being put down if turned over to another. Please, work on finding the cause for his aggression. It may take time to solve this but it can be done and everyone here will be willing to assist you in putting together the pieces of the puzzle. I think returning to your original thread and posting what you have tried will give insight to those with lots of experience. Every clue means something to them and can lead to your answer. I’m glad you love Charlie and haven’t given up on him. Please keep trying. Once the issue is solved he would have a better chance at a new home if you still feel the need to move him. Good luck.