What's on Your Mind Thread - 2024

maggie101

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Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
I had a very arrogant know it all friend always bragging about the same thing. I stopped calling her. Decades later she moved in my apartment complex. Didn't know til 3 months later. In her 60's so more grown up. Friends again
 

Graceful-Lily

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I had a very arrogant know it all friend always bragging about the same thing. I stopped calling her. Decades later she moved in my apartment complex. Didn't know til 3 months later. In her 60's so more grown up. Friends again
Interesting. I think some time apart does people some good at times. So I'm hoping it'll be the same for us. We may not talk in the next month, 6 months, or years, but it'll give us both time to grow as individuals apart and see how we are together again once we've hopefully both matured.
 

kashmir64

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Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
Maybe you should tell her why. Nothing worse than not knowing why someone is ghosting you.

Man: "Are you mad at me"
Woman: "Yes"
Man: "Why"
Woman: "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you"

Don't be that Woman. 9 years is not something you just throw away.
 

Margot Lane

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It's just going to be drywall- no tile in this one. I am going to put in different lighting, though. As this is just a powder room, and only four by six feet, there's not a whole lot to show. What whoever built this thing did was enclose what used to be a rear porch on the house, and it was a pretty slapdash job, as when I started pulling off the old drywall, I could feel the cold air rushing in. That has been taken care of, though. One holdup now is Michele has decided that she wants a different towel holder, and wants it relocated- but isn't sure where- and I can't do that wall until I know where to install blocking for support. The hardest part of the whole job is cutting the new drywall to fit, as with nothing square, I have to make parallelograms instead of rectangles, and the angle at one end isn't equal to the angle at the other. Yay. At least, though, it will be air tight and properly insulated, so there is that.
Should cut down on your heating bill, and also, who doesn’t like a warm powder room? Powder room. Now there’s a phrase.
 

Lari

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M was up at 6:30ish, got her back to sleep, went downstairs to feed the cats and cleaned up a big vomit.

Then J was up for the day at 6:45 and M got up again.

And J found cat poop on the scratcher in our front room.

It's just going to be a day, isn't it?
 

Graceful-Lily

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Maybe you should tell her why. Nothing worse than not knowing why someone is ghosting you.

Man: "Are you mad at me"
Woman: "Yes"
Man: "Why"
Woman: "Well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you"

Don't be that Woman. 9 years is not something you just throw away.
This is what I told her: "I'll be honest with you... I think I need some space/distance away from this friendship for a little bit or a while, I really don't know yet. All I know is that I'm not getting the same enjoyment out of it as I used to and its been weighing heavily on me. It has gotten to the point where I am now dreading conversing with you and feeling drained texting. I don't know what I need right now but I need time/space to think. I hope you can understand. And I'm sorry if this is a lot for you right now but I need it. I have things going on in my life too that I just need to focus on."

And all she said was "It's okay".

M was up at 6:30ish, got her back to sleep, went downstairs to feed the cats and cleaned up a big vomit.

Then J was up for the day at 6:45 and M got up again.

And J found cat poop on the scratcher in our front room.

It's just going to be a day, isn't it?
I hope it gets better for you as it progresses. The day that is. :)
 

Purrfect Meow

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Nah, it's a regular PITA, but two of the walls are done, I'm working on the third, and the fourth has to wait a bit due to outside events not related to the reno. I may be old, but I'm not that decrepit..........yet.
Any pics of your renos? I love renos as long as I am doing the destructing and not the constructing. After all others see the constructing and I am always self consious.
 

Purrfect Meow

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I thought I would ask this question, has anyone lost friends due to conspiracy theories? I had 8 close friends before the pandemic, then do to the isolation 4 of them went down the rabbit hole of various conspiracies and after 30 years of friendship just vanished because I could not convert to their way of thinking. It was unreal and disheartening.

On another note does anyone remember when cell phones were getting smaller and smaller? Like this. small Phone.jpg
 

maggie101

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I thought I would ask this question, has anyone lost friends due to conspiracy theories? I had 8 close friends before the pandemic, then do to the isolation 4 of them went down the rabbit hole of various conspiracies and after 30 years of friendship just vanished because I could not convert to their way of thinking. It was unreal and disheartening.

On another note does anyone remember when cell phones were getting smaller and smaller? Like this.View attachment 474342
I asked alexa:
Mobile phones started getting small in the 1990s
 

NY cat man

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Any pics of your renos? I love renos as long as I am doing the destructing and not the constructing. After all others see the constructing and I am always self consious.
Not yet, as it still is a work in progress, and even when finished there won't be all that much to see. The real improvements will be out of sight inside the walls; a new light fixture and towel holder being the sole exceptions.
 

Mamanyt1953

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I had 8 close friends before the pandemic, then do to the isolation 4 of them went down the rabbit hole of various conspiracies
Sadly, yes I have. But I dropped them when it became clear that they were NOT willing to read/watch ANYTHING that might not confirm their bias. And those conspiracy theories SO took over their lives. There was no room for anything else. I so miss who they were, but not who they are.

I desperately wish that Critical Thinking Skills were a required course for all students, every year from 7th grade up.
 

Purrfect Meow

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I talked to one of the managers at work. Only way to increase my hours is to get up at 6 am. Yuck! I havve never gotten up that early
I got up at 5 AM for 10 years so I could have the job I wanted. Hated the hours but loved the work. Pros and Cons to everything. Nice thing, the drive to work. Beautiful and quiet. Not something you get at 8AM. You do get use to it, if that helps.
 

maggie101

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I got up at 5 AM for 10 years so I could have the job I wanted. Hated the hours but loved the work. Pros and Cons to everything. Nice thing, the drive to work. Beautiful and quiet. Not something you get at 8AM. You do get use to it, if that helps.
For decades I took my meds 8&8 am and pm. So I'll have to slowly decrease and go to bed at 9 from then on. I purposely forgot to start tonight
 

Purrfect Meow

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Sadly, yes I have. But I dropped them when it became clear that they were NOT willing to read/watch ANYTHING that might not confirm their bias. And those conspiracy theories SO took over their lives. There was no room for anything else. I so miss who they were, but not who they are.

I desperately wish that Critical Thinking Skills were a required course for all students, every year from 7th grade up.
I agree with you completely. That and basic financial skills for todays environment. We can always hope. Its hard to lose friends however after 30 years. But I agree with you, there is no room in their minds for anything else. Conspiracies are like a cancer, they start out small and eventually envelop the whole being.
 

Purrfect Meow

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Not yet, as it still is a work in progress, and even when finished there won't be all that much to see. The real improvements will be out of sight inside the walls; a new light fixture and towel holder being the sole exceptions.
My house had no insulation in the walls downstairs and it was completely finished. You now can't see the insulation I put in, but I know its there. It still makes me a little itchy to think about it. Scratch, Scratch!
 

GenCat

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Anyone ever had to "break up" with a friend? I have a friend I've been talking to online for 9+ years and for the past 2 years, I felt like the relationship started spiraling down until I couldn't take it anymore and told her I needed time to myself without talking. I feel really bad and keep thinking about how she may feel and feeling guilty for feeling like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She just always seems to have a mountain of things going on in her life and always dumped it on me instead of talking about other things or spending time together in other ways. Not even sure if we will speak again... :(
Good lord, so so many. I feel like it’s really easy for relationships like this to spiral. As someone who has been on both sides of things, I would have much rather had them distance themselves and a chance to try again later rather than just have the person “be there for me” until it’s gone so far neither person wants to ever interact again.

The sad part is the friendship I was in where I was the whiny needy one was fine until I was introduced to their sibling who was a whole bucket of toxic. Then a mutual friend told me that she had backed away from the friendship for the exact same reason I was struggling with. My dumb self stayed friends with both of them for years despite being horribly depressed.
 
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