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Virus concern from cat who had fip?

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MojoTuxedo

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I don’t know what takes my mind off animals because I’m always worrying about them. I always have to check on them at least once an hour besides when I’m sleeping
My parents won’t let me walk outside by myself, I don't want to exercise and I don’t really listen to music. I just want to do nothing but if I do nothing I get bored so I don’t know what to do.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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Right now I’m just sitting on my bed with the cat and watching some videos on YouTube.
I’ve been like this for 4 years and it’s gotten progressively worse even with medical treatment so I really don’t know what to do.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I don’t have anyone to talk to in real life anyway......
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I’m so lonely... I have no one to talk to.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I’m still on my bed with the cat.
I’m feeling really down for no reason :(
I’m supposed to be sleeping because it’s 12:09 am here but I can’t sleep
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I can’t find the cat anywhere. Even under the couches :(
Honestly, if she went missing and I never saw her again I don’t think I would have the ability to be sad about it.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I still can’t find her anywhere. All the doors upstairs are closed and I looked in all the rooms downstairs.
 

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There might be something here that helps;
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I know she’s definitely in our house because the only time the door was opened today was when my sister went to school.
Last time I was her was last night when she was on my bed before I fell asleep at around 2 am (11 hours ago) and this morning before I woke up she went somewhere.
I put some food in her food bowl half an hour ago and it hasn’t been touched.
 

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I know she’s definitely in our house because the only time the door was opened today was when my sister went to school.
Last time I was her was last night when she was on my bed before I fell asleep at around 2 am (11 hours ago) and this morning before I woke up she went somewhere.
I put some food in her food bowl half an hour ago and it hasn’t been touched.
I hope she comes in for some food soon.
What can I say? It's like that for me now, too, about talking on the net and about insomnia. I've always been intensely social and grew up with extended family and lots of relatives and friends, but things have changed in society and people just don't visit and hang out and talk like that now, at least not in my life. A lot of people in my life have changed and just aren't very friendly any more, so I haven't been talking with these people even though I wish we could.
And I have concern for animals, especially cats, always. But the thing is that our own cats have us to depend on for their care and without us, they would not do well. Everyone gets exhausted and stressed -- life is like that for everyone, I think, on different levels -- but for me anyway, my beloved cats are my main reasons for getting up every day and doing all the things I do for them and for myself, because I am their family and their caregiver. I'd give my life for them. I've known lots of love in my life from parents, extended family, friends etc., but cats give the MOST unconditional loyalty and love. They are ALWAYS faithful, and I owe them no less than that. When I lose one and am in grief, I still always know that all of the others are here giving me that loyalty and love, and the one who has gone on ahead certainly knows that and wants me to keep sharing the love with everyone who is still here. Even if it is really hard sometimes to think about anything else but sadness, it is something I know I need to do for them. I hope that makes sense to you.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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My pets used to be the main reason why I got up every day but now probably the only reason I get out of bed is because I’m tired of thinking. Usually I sleep late and wake up early and after I wake up I stay in my bed for a few hours just thinking about things like, “Why am I still here?” “Why can’t I be like everyone else?” “Why don’t I care about anything anymore?” “Why doesn’t my family care?” “Why am I so worthless?” “When will it get better like people always say?” “When was the last time I was truly happy?”
I’m not really sad but it’s more like I have been slowly drowning for 4 years and I just hit the bottom. My pets used to help but not much anymore after what happened to Mojo.
And having no one who understands me to talk to makes it so much worse.
At least I can put my real thoughts somewhere and not lie because I’m afraid of people judging me every time they see me.
Sorry for posting this unrelated stuff on a cat forum but I’m glad someone in the world knows what I’m going through.
 

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My pets used to be the main reason why I got up every day but now probably the only reason I get out of bed is because I’m tired of thinking. Usually I sleep late and wake up early and after I wake up I stay in my bed for a few hours just thinking about things like, “Why am I still here?” “Why can’t I be like everyone else?” “Why don’t I care about anything anymore?” “Why doesn’t my family care?” “Why am I so worthless?” “When will it get better like people always say?” “When was the last time I was truly happy?”
I’m not really sad but it’s more like I have been slowly drowning for 4 years and I just hit the bottom. My pets used to help but not much anymore after what happened to Mojo.
And having no one who understands me to talk to makes it so much worse.
At least I can put my real thoughts somewhere and not lie because I’m afraid of people judging me every time they see me.
Sorry for posting this unrelated stuff on a cat forum but I’m glad someone in the world knows what I’m going through.
Though every person is unique and in no way could I claim to know exactly how you feel or what you are going through, no one should invalidate you or your feelings!
I'm a very glass-half-full person myself, always adapting to whatever situation life throws at me and trying really hard to find the bright spot(s) in whatever place I am in. But I have been in a lot darker places in life, in the past, a lot of times. Sometimes things just get overwhelming. I've done sleeping late to try to just check out of stress and bad stuff, but the thing is, for me anyway, that it just makes me more stressed because I know it IS an escape and that whatever I'm feeling that way about will still be there when I have to get up. But cats have always been the brightest of the bright, for me, because their love never fails. It just never does! They are always there with their warmth, softness, purrs, and sweetness. They are for me the antidote to all the rest of the stuff that's so sad, bad, and stressful.
I'm pretty sure everyone feels a lot, if not all, of the things you're feeling sometimes. Maybe a lot more often than we realize. The people way up at the top, who look so perfect and successful and happy, have these feelings, too. Someone close to me, who I've always looked up to and thought of as so successful career-wise and personally, just told me they are being divorced. That hit me hard. This is the PERFECT couple, and they have really wonderful kids and a dog they love. They would be the last people on earth I would ever imagine this happening to. And I've been in the music business, which is full of people everyone thinks are perfect. I can tell you, they are not! and they have all the things you're talking about going through their minds and their lives. I'm not going to name anyone but I know this is true. Look at all the people in show business, politics, etc., and look at how many of them have been in deep trouble. We all have those times in our lives!
You are NOT "worthless". I don't know you but I can definitely say that. I could say, "Your family DOES care about you, very much!" but I don't know them, either, so I can't speak for them. What I can say is that every one of us is precious and unique. I am very spiritual, so I process it through that, but whether you are/do or not, it's still a fact that you are here for a reason and you may not know it now, but it's true. When I was having some trouble and still living at home, my folks and I all went to counselling and the counsellor really understood our family, and me personally. It didn't really "solve any problems" because time and experience are what change things in life, not just sitting talking to a psychologist, but it made me know there wasn't anything "wrong" with me and that we're all human, all flawed, and also all valid. Sometimes people like that can help us see things more clearly and it can help.
 
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MojoTuxedo

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I still haven’t found the cat :(
 

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