Venting....

[terestrife]

I spent a lot of time in Miami and many parts of Florida. Miami was getting rather crowded the last time I was there. It is pretty there but so much of Florida is lovely. I hope you can find someplace that will give you all you desire. Family is great to have but maybe you could enjoy them more if you weren’t having to deal with anyone who has allergies or worry about a small child. If anyone does say anything about the AC bringing allergens in, there are filters you can put on your bedroom vent! Of course there are heaps filters for the air return that should work pretty well for the house but I thought that taking it a step further and being prepared with a new answer might put you a step ahead if it comes up. I have an allergic step sister. She doesn’t visit often but I am prepared.

That's a good idea! Thank you for the suggestion. I do have an air filter in my room. So hopefully that should help.

Family is great, but i would love to not have to see them for a while. Just tired of the stress from them.

I really hope you can find something at one of those colleges, so you can move away from Miami, and get a new start with your kitties. Good luck.

i hope so too. Thank you for your kind words and support. I pray you are right.

Ever-thoughtful Jcatbird has some good suggestions! Being proactive is something very important to me, especially since my last divorce and having to DIY. Or, have you thought about moving out of Florida entirely and checking out states with better climate, lower cost of living/population/crime etc.? Just a thought.

I've considered it. What used to stop me was moving far from the niece i helped raise. I promised my mom i would stay close to her. But i need to start thinking of myself like everyone else does.

I also didn't want to drive too far with the cats, Kitty gets nervous in a car. But like i said, it's time to think about me for once in my life. I've used too much of my life helping others and not myself.

I do think it'll be easier to be closer so moving won't be complicated.

My sister gets here Monday unfortunately so I'm starting the process of moving in the cats. I'm nervous about this. I hope kitty doesn't freak out about this.

My brother offered to let my sister to stay with him, but she's so self absorbed that she insists on staying here and annoying us to deep clean the house.

She's been acting sickly for so many years that I've gotten to the point that i don't care anymore. Maybe that makes me awful and maybe thatll bring me horrible karma, but I'm sick of her and all the issues she's brought me.

 

[tarasgirl06]

That's a good idea! Thank you for the suggestion. I do have an air filter in my room. So hopefully that should help.

Family is great, but i would love to not have to see them for a while. Just tired of the stress from them.



i hope so too. Thank you for your kind words and support. I pray you are right.



I've considered it. What used to stop me was moving far from the niece i helped raise. I promised my mom i would stay close to her. But i need to start thinking of myself like everyone else does.

I also didn't want to drive too far with the cats, Kitty gets nervous in a car. But like i said, it's time to think about me for once in my life. I've used too much of my life helping others and not myself.

I do think it'll be easier to be closer so moving won't be complicated.

My sister gets here Monday unfortunately so I'm starting the process of moving in the cats. I'm nervous about this. I hope kitty doesn't freak out about this.

My brother offered to let my sister to stay with him, but she's so self absorbed that she insists on staying here and annoying us to deep clean the house.

She's been acting sickly for so many years that I've gotten to the point that i don't care anymore. Maybe that makes me awful and maybe thatll bring me horrible karma, but I'm sick of her and all the issues she's brought me.

Well, when someone is in your care and depends on you, you need to always put them first. I'm talking about your cats. As far as your niece is concerned, you HAVE helped her and it is not a life-long contract. It is not your responsibility. You need to put your cats' wellbeing first and yours along with it. These people are toxic -- excuse my bluntness but they are -- and you need to be away from them. Family or not. Just because someone is related does not mean they are without fault or responsibility. Their problems need to be THEIR problems and not yours.

 

[terestrife]

Well, when someone is in your care and depends on you, you need to always put them first. I'm talking about your cats. As far as your niece is concerned, you HAVE helped her and it is not a life-long contract. It is not your responsibility. You need to put your cats' wellbeing first and yours along with it. These people are toxic -- excuse my bluntness but they are -- and you need to be away from them. Family or not. Just because someone is related does not mean they are without fault or responsibility. Their problems need to be THEIR problems and not yours.

I know. I was raised to put family first. My mom did this to her own detriment. I'm not making that same mistake. I'm going to apply to work everywhere and see what door gets opened. I don't want to leave abby, but i can't live my life for her.

I wish my brother had built my room instead of using the extra building in his property to watch his sports games. It shows that people will always think of themselves first. Been asking my brother for help for so long. It would have been great to have a free place to live so i could save up and have time.

I guess i shouldn't expect any help going forward. And focus on helping myself like my mom would say.

 

[Lari]

I know. I was raised to put family first. My mom did this to her own detriment. I'm not making that same mistake. I'm going to apply to work everywhere and see what door gets opened. I don't want to leave abby, but i can't live my life for her.

I wish my brother had built my room instead of using the extra building in his property to watch his sports games. It shows that people will always think of themselves first. Been asking my brother for help for so long. It would have been great to have a free place to live so i could save up and have time.

I guess i shouldn't expect any help going forward. And focus on helping myself like my mom would say.

With so much technology, you'd never be farther than a video call from Abby anyway if she needed to talk to you about something.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I know. I was raised to put family first. My mom did this to her own detriment. I'm not making that same mistake. I'm going to apply to work everywhere and see what door gets opened. I don't want to leave abby, but i can't live my life for her.

I wish my brother had built my room instead of using the extra building in his property to watch his sports games. It shows that people will always think of themselves first. Been asking my brother for help for so long. It would have been great to have a free place to live so i could save up and have time.

I guess i shouldn't expect any help going forward. And focus on helping myself like my mom would say.

I loathe selfish people more than anything. But being self-sufficient and meeting your own and your loved ones' (your cats) needs first is NOT selfish, it's selfless. Any living being needs to take care of itself in order to survive, and being self-reliant means you aren't asking others around you to give their time, money, etc. It's being strong and personally responsible. If everyone got taught this by guardians who walk the talk, it'd be an amazingly better world, not like this society and so many more, where adults are infantile and self-absorbed and unable/unwilling to take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions. You're a strong and good person. You don't need or deserve the burden these people are putting on you. It's going to be challenging to make these big life changes but ultimately you're going to be stronger, safer, and happier. It's a rude awakening for a lot of people, myself included, to realize that family members and others you "should" be able to trust can't be trusted and plainly put, don't give a damn about you. But the sooner we realize that truth, the sooner we can break free and spend our time and energy being good to ourselves and our loved ones. I did this and it's made all the difference in my life.

 

[terestrife]

With so much technology, you'd never be farther than a video call from Abby anyway if she needed to talk to you about something.

I've done video chats with her but she also asks me to come see her. Hopefully with time she'll understand.

she was raised by my mom and i. It hit her hard when my mother passed away. It's been 4 years and she still asks for her. I didn't want her to feel abandoned by me too.

I loathe selfish people more than anything. But being self-sufficient and meeting your own and your loved ones' (your cats) needs first is NOT selfish, it's selfless. Any living being needs to take care of itself in order to survive, and being self-reliant means you aren't asking others around you to give their time, money, etc. It's being strong and personally responsible. If everyone got taught this by guardians who walk the talk, it'd be an amazingly better world, not like this society and so many more, where adults are infantile and self-absorbed and unable/unwilling to take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions. You're a strong and good person. You don't need or deserve the burden these people are putting on you. It's going to be challenging to make these big life changes but ultimately you're going to be stronger, safer, and happier. It's a rude awakening for a lot of people, myself included, to realize that family members and others you "should" be able to trust can't be trusted and plainly put, don't give a damn about you. But the sooner we realize that truth, the sooner we can break free and spend our time and energy being good to ourselves and our loved ones. I did this and it's made all the difference in my life.

Thank you. Your comment is something i needed to hear right now. Its something that I've wanted for myself for a long time. To be able to stand on my own and not have to deal with people treating you badly for it. Which has happened to me before.

I pray i can figure something out soon. I know things are uncertain right now with jobs and that worries me too.

 

[tarasgirl06]

I've done video chats with her but she also asks me to come see her. Hopefully with time she'll understand.

she was raised by my mom and i. It hit her hard when my mother passed away. It's been 4 years and she still asks for her. I didn't want her to feel abandoned by me too.



Thank you. Your comment is something i needed to hear right now. Its something that I've wanted for myself for a long time. To be able to stand on my own and not have to deal with people treating you badly for it. Which has happened to me before.

I pray i can figure something out soon. I know things are uncertain right now with jobs and that worries me too.

The hard-knock school of life Lesson 101: When you can't depend on others, you need to be able to depend on yourself. Others will respect you more for it, too, if they're capable of respecting. If they're not, they're really not worth your time anyway, no matter who they are. My mom had a very, very harsh early life and she always maintained her decency, compassion and generosity. But she learned the hard way that this is the bottom line. And in her desk after she passed I found 2 copies of a little clipping from an old newspaper. It was one of her favorite words of wisdom: Hard words. But so, so true.

 

[Jcatbird]

tarasgirl06 Maybe not such hard words as , wise words to protect oneself. The words don’t exclude others but simply gives a solid foundation for life. Very wise and much appreciated.

 

[tarasgirl06]

tarasgirl06 Maybe not such hard words as , wise words to protect oneself. The words don’t exclude others but simply gives a solid foundation for life. Very wise and much appreciated.

*Learned the hard way. But you're right. When you can stand on your own two legs, no matter what condition they may be in, you free yourself.*

 

[terestrife]

Finally moved the cats in my room. Even though i am glad they are safe from my nephew. It feels like my one sanctuary is ruined now. Their mess is all over my room. The incessant meowing. Litter on my bed, and hair everywhere. I have obsessive tendencies, so my room feels dirty now. Im already getting frustrated with them. Ive never been the type to sleep with animals. Because i have allergies, and just dont like their mess in a bedroom. I keep thinking of them in their toilet and then climbing on my bed thats right next to it. I hope im not offending people that like sleeping with their pets. My obsessive mind just never allowed it.

I have been trying for the past hour to get Kitty back inside the room because she managed to get out. She dashes for the door every time i go near it. I put a baby gate on the door and she still manages to dash past me. I have the kind of personality where i need solitude and to be away from others. Feels like my one place of peace in this house has been taken away. Its only been one day and i hate having them in my room. Kittys also miserable being locked up in a small bedroom.

I already get upset and easily agitated so any changes like this freak me out.

I bought this to see if i can keep them off my bed. Not sure if it will actually work: Doesnt get here until friday.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B086ZKTDQ4/?tag=thecatsite

She stands by the door and dashes if i move an inch. I hope i find the patience during this transition. I am tempted to buy an airbed and just leave the room to them.

The hard-knock school of life Lesson 101: When you can't depend on others, you need to be able to depend on yourself. Others will respect you more for it, too, if they're capable of respecting. If they're not, they're really not worth your time anyway, no matter who they are. My mom had a very, very harsh early life and she always maintained her decency, compassion and generosity. But she learned the hard way that this is the bottom line. And in her desk after she passed I found 2 copies of a little clipping from an old newspaper. It was one of her favorite words of wisdom: Hard words. But so, so true.

That was a beautiful poem filled with wisdom. Im going to print it out so i can reread it when i need to. Regardless of my age, i still feel like i am learning and growing.


EDIT: i spent the afternoon reorganizing my room for them. I am tired and Kitty wont stop incessantly meowing. I hope she gets used to this room soon.I barely sleep as is.

 

[Willowy]

Ah, yeah, I was going to recommend a bed tent if you didn't want the cats on the bed. If the mesh one doesn't work out, they have solid ones too (if you can sleep enclosed).

 

[terestrife]

Ah, yeah, I was going to recommend a bed tent if you didn't want the cats on the bed. If the mesh one doesn't work out, they have solid ones too (if you can sleep enclosed).

Gets here Friday. The mesh had faster shipping. I'll switch if it becomes a problem. My sister wasn't supposed to be here for three weeks. But had to come earlier for personal reasons.

I'm worried the cats will tear the mesh. Elsa is being good about not climbing on my bed but kitty won't give up.

 

[terestrife]

It's 3 am. They make so much noise. The constant climbing on my bed and on computer. The constant nail scratching on the tree. Their loud litter robots. Kittys normal neediness has gone up like crazy.

Have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to switch the treatment for my health issue. Just want sleep.

 

[terestrife]

Barely slept. My cat kitty spent all night getting up and down on my bed and meowing incessantly. My nieces dogs barking because of family leaving for Disney.

I'm not going to lie, all i could think in the middle of the night is why i bother protecting these cats. All i wanted was to rehome them just so i don't have to deal with them anymore.

I'm hoping the bed tent works because i won't be able to deal with this forever. I need to sleep. My mental state is unstable as is, being drained won't make things easier.

I always judged people that rehome pets and i don't want to do that. But they've been such a hassle these past 4 years.

 

[rubysmama]

Have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to switch the treatment for my health issue. Just want sleep.

Can you ask your doctor to put you on stress leave from work? Or tell him/her what's going on in your life that's causing your stress, and likely not helping your health issue, and maybe they can get you on track for low income housing, or something that will make your living situation, livable.

 

[terestrife]

Can you ask your doctor to put you on stress leave from work? Or tell him/her what's going on in your life that's causing your stress, and likely not helping your health issue, and maybe they can get you on track for low income housing, or something that will make your living situation, livable.

My job isn't stressful though. I work from home for now. And don't do much. I'm a secretary at a college. Not sure if i should be telling my boss all the personal things that I'm going through, that makes me nervous.

I don't even know if i can afford low income housing to be honest. I got a car a few years back and thats something that messes me up financially. I should have gotten a used car. But i thought my living situation was stable and got a new car. If i didn't have the car i could afford a cheap apartment. The tires are in the red and it needs new breaks for about a year now and i haven't been able to fix it.

I have to find a way to calm down. I walk into my room and see their mess and filth and feel panic coming over me. And my cats incessant meowing from not wanting to be there. I'm just yelling at her and thats not fair to her. I keep having to race her so i can leave the room without her leaving it.

Edit: just realized you said to ask my doctor about housing. Sorry my brain isn't awake yet. Lolol

 

[rubysmama]

Edit: just realized you said to ask my doctor about housing. Sorry my brain isn't awake yet. Lolol

Yes, doctor.

And stress doesn't have to be caused by your job. You've got health issue stress, family stress, money stress, etc.

Maybe stress leave from work isn't the answer, but talking to your doctor about what you're going through, might get you into therapy for your mental health.

 

[terestrife]

Yes, doctor.

And stress doesn't have to be caused by your job. You've got health issue stress, family stress, money stress, etc.

Maybe stress leave from work isn't the answer, but talking to your doctor about what you're going through, might get you into therapy for your mental health.

I will try that. I have to go back to the doctor soon anyway and i will mention it. Thank you for the suggestion.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Cats are the cleanest beings apart from marine animals. They are far cleaner than human beings. So I wouldn't worry about that. As long as you scoop their box when they use it -- I scoop on average 5 times a day -- it shouldn't be a problem. They have to have time to adjust to their changed living situation. Cats are creatures of pattern and habit. They don't like change. THEY have not been a problem -- it's the people there who have!!!

 

[terestrife]

Cats are the cleanest beings apart from marine animals. They are far cleaner than human beings. So I wouldn't worry about that. As long as you scoop their box when they use it -- I scoop on average 5 times a day -- it shouldn't be a problem. They have to have time to adjust to their changed living situation. Cats are creatures of pattern and habit. They don't like change. THEY have not been a problem -- it's the people there who have!!!

I've heard that about cats. But when they're jumping from their litter box to my bed and spreading litter and walking around after burying their waste, it just will never feel clean to me. I vacuum 3 times a day and there's constantly litter all over. My cat loves kicking litter.

I know they aren't the problem. Just want to eventually have my own bedroom. That's the one place that i like to myself. I take pride in having a clean peaceful room.

I want the cats safe, it's the only reason I'm doing this. Just desperately want peace and quiet in my life. Now they keep me up all night and i already struggle with sleeping.

My niece is acting two faced and saying i should ask her mom to let the cats visit downstairs. I'm sure the reason the cats are permanently upstairs (even without my sister being here) is because my niece is too lazy to watch her son and teach him how to treat animals. My sister claims hes too small to learn. Which is BS.

Had my dr appointment today. Was falling asleep the entire time. Lol they have me trying a new medicine to see if the abnormal cells i have finish clearing up.

I have to go to a regular dr soon. My bp is still very high even on medication.