Upstairs, downstairs, starring old cat, new cat!

[BonitaBaby]

 
I've been using Feliway ever since I brought in ResidentCat and was first socializing her, ~2 years ago.  One diffuser in each bedroom.  I added a diffuser downstairs where NewCat's basecamp is.  And I spray around both doors, since she was anxious to want to go outside.

I laugh that I should own stock in Feliway, or that they should invent a whole-house diffuser.  I actually wrote to them about it, asking if there was some kind of bulk discount I could get on the stuff, and they said I should speak to my vet, they could arrange some kind of bulk pricing.  I will ask about it, because I go through the stuff pretty fast.

I know many say it doesn't work, or they didn't notice any effect, but if one of the diffusers runs out for ResidentCat I notice she does more kind of random anxious grooming.  So, for what it's worth, I think it works.  If only it calmed ME down!

That's great! Sorry I didn't go back and read through the whole thread. I just remembered that I'm overdue in changing the Feliway diffuser in my living room! Fortunately, I just need one in the living room and that seems to work well for my cat although if I added one to my bedroom, then that would be even better,  but I'll stick to just the living room due to the cost.

 

[barbgee]

Couple interesting updates...

Last night, I was upstairs w/ Resident Cat, giving her the usual after work greeting and pets and attention, and suddently she dashed out of the room and to the landing/top of the stairs.  I heard NewCats little scampering paws running down the stairs!  ResidentCat's tail was all puffed up, and she was crouched at the top of the stairs, guarding her turf.

This morning, I decided to have coffee on one of the bottom stairs, and NewCat came by, while ResidentCat was peering down from the top of the stairs landing. NewCat looked up and hissed at ResidentCat and swiftly ran off to hide in the bathroom!

Too funny.  They are both toying with each other, it seems, but there's not been really frightening aggression, just some "HEY! GET OFFA MY LAWN!" kinds of posturing.

Tonight, I put ResidentCat in her big BR, and brought NewCat up into the small BR where ResiCat and I sleep, and I shut the door.  We hung out there for about a half hour, and she explored a bit, not especially distressed.  Then I opened the door to the stair landing, thinking maybe she's sniff the ResiCat's big BR door.  Nope, she thought about it for a minute, but went downstairs instead.  When I opened the big BR door, ResiCat was lurking in the closet closest to the door.  She then went into the small BR, and sniffed around quite a bit. She seems a bit cross with me, even though I washed my hands so I don't smell like new cat.

Just want to keep trading up the scents a little...  without trauma to either cat. NewCat is getting less whiny about the doors, but I still have my guard up so she can't run out.

 

[Columbine]

It sounds like things are going well. Asha spent a long time playing 'chicken' with Shadow before they finally relaxed together. Hissing and fluffing is fine...just so long as it doesn't escalate.

Keep doing what you're doing. It's obviously working :nod: Just remember not to force the issue. They'll make friends when they're ready.

 

[barbgee]

Just a few updates;

Still haven't had any successful crossing of the stairway barrier, although NewCat did make it upstairs once on her own when I was in another room.  I heard some noise upstairs of cats meowing, and found that NewCat made it into the bedroom closet and OldCat had her exit blocked, in a face off.  I went to the other side of the room, sat down and called OldCat, she came over, and NewCat skulked off and ran downstairs.  I'm now keeping that closet door closed.

Otherwise, they just will sometimes stare at each other from the top and bottom of the staircase.  I'm kind of resigning myself to having 2 separate cat floors.  I did do another psuedo "space swap", where I put OldCat in the little bedroom, and brought NewCat up to survey the big bedroom, where she had found herself trapped last time.  I try to sit halfway on the stairs, and give both cats treats, but that's not always easy.

 

[Columbine]

It sounds like things are going pretty well :nod: From what you say there's no hissing, growling etc - just a healthy respect for each other's space and the odd staring contest. That's how Asha and Shadow were for ages...and now they play together!

Keep doing what you're doing - the cats will adjust to each other in time. They may yet become friends

 

[barbgee]

Argh, I am getting flak from both my boyfriend and NewCat's old mom.

Boyfriend was here this weekend, and NewCat stayed under the dining room buffet most all the time.  If he got down and lay on the floor and pet her or gave her a treat under there, she was not aggressive or unhappy, she simply wasn't interested in interacting on her own with him. Boyfriend thinks I've got a situation where I've created no reason for the two cats to interact with each other, that they have all their needs met on their own separate floors so they won't ever come together on their own.  Newcat's old mom, she thinks I'm letting OldCat run the situation, that these two cats must meet, and that she will be glad to help me!  She also keeps hinting she wants to visit NewCat, which I think is a bad idea, and that NewCat should be allowed outdoors on a harness and lead.  It's not like I am home 24/7 to spend all my time cat walking and cat wrangling.  I've got a part-time job, an elderly relative I need to visit with once a week, and the boyfriend.... 

ARGH x 2.

I am moving NewCat's bowl closer to the stairway on an every-other-day basis, so she and OldCat can see each other at mealtimes at some point, so that OldCat will figure out NewCat is not out to steal her food.  But OldCat most definitely is holding the entire 2nd floor as her territory, and has no reason or ability to come downstairs.  I am annoyed that I have these people telling me I'm "doing it wrong", however.  It makes me second guess myself.  I'm glad at least you guys are mostly agreeing to just let it go as slowly as it needs to (even if I am impatient for them...!)

Just an update with a little venting thrown in.

 

[evamilly]

I think you are best not to interfere, if they don't want to interact with each other they won't whatever you do! My two are still keeping themselves to themselves - my adopted stray stays upstairs and my other car stays downstairs. However Eva does come upstairs if I'm upstairs when when she wants something- such as treats, or for the garden door to be opened. The other cat will come down if I am cooking lamb etc- otherwise she stays upstairs. They do not run away from each other or hiss- so I decided to let them do what they want!

 

[Columbine]

Stick to your guns. You're the one living with the cats, and you know them better than anyone at this point. Each cat knows the other is there - they will meet and spend time closer together when they're ready. Trust your own instincts - they're almost certainly right.

Asha and Shadow lived on separate floors for a few months. Shad chooses to spend his time downstairs, and it took Asha a long time to go downstairs with confidence. It happened when she was ready, and now she's equally comfortable everywhere in the house. Shadow still prefers downstairs - but he's been that way most of his life.

New cat will gradually start coming up to find you when she's ready. That's how it will start. Have a little faith in them and in yourself. Stay patient, and ignore anyone who wants you to force the issue - that is most likely to end in disaster.

You're doing great. Stick with it

 

[barbgee]

Thanks.

NewCat has come upstairs a few times, but it's never been when I'm upstairs, and I have no idea what goes on when I'm not home, but from what I can intuit, they keep their distance.

I do have my own sadness that I can't be on two floors at the same time.  Everything is doubled; two sets of playing, two sets of sitting, petting, cuddling, although OldCat gets to sleep with me, so she gets more time with me, in a sense...

It's very hard to come home from work, and OldCat is at the top of the stairs meowing at me to come up and visit, and then I have NewCat murping at me, too.  I do give preference to OldCat, but then I feel bad for NewCat.

This is much harder than I thought it would be.

 

[Columbine]

They will grow closer in time. I remember being so torn between Asha and the others before she fully integrated. There's no getting away from it - its hard and heart wrenching, but it will pay off. One day, you'll look back and this time and celebrate how far they've come.

 

[red top rescue]

tell boyfriend and new cat's old owner to mind their own business and stop trying to force things to be other than what they are.  Your cat's are not fighting, and they are working out what works for them, NOT what works for silly human minds.  Stand up for your cats and your territory and tell them to please butt out. 

 

[BonitaBaby]

 
tell boyfriend and new cat's old owner to mind their own business and stop trying to force things to be other than what they are.  Your cat's are not fighting, and they are working out what works for them, NOT what works for silly human minds.  Stand up for your cats and your territory and tell them to please butt out. 

I totally agree. They're not the ones who have to live with the cats if it doesn't work out their way. 

 

[barbgee]

Just thought it was time for an update or two...

The two cats are still living on separate floors, and there's not much I'm actively doing to try to get them to interact with each other.  2nd floor Kitty still glowers down at 1st Floor Newcat, and Newcat will still occasionally venture up the stairs about two-thirds of the way...  Newcat is pretty happy, she put on a little weight so I don't feel her ribcage through her skin so much, although the cheapo scale that I used says she put on maybe .2-.25 of a pound.  Not a lot, but she's not losing weight, and I need to get a scale that will measure to at least .2 lbs, not to only .5 accuracy.  We play, she runs around, she likes to make biscuits and cuddle on the sofa.  She has windows to look out, and she's doing well.

The big problem of late is that the old owner has suddenly gotten into a lot of the internet conspiracy theory web and youtube sites, and one day she was over visiting, and she only then told me she would like me to NOT microchip Newcat.  I'm not comfortable telling lies (although in retrospect, I should have lied), so I told her the cat already had been microchipped.  It never even occurred to me that ANYONE would object to that.  A couple weeks ago, I got an email from her that was very angry; telling me microchips cause cancer/tumors (I know this is not based on any factual info)  AND she feels microchips are part of the coming EndTimes stuff, like "Mark of the Beast".  She further went on to tell me that if she had known I'd do this, and that I'd "keep the cat a prisoner" (because I don't let her outdoors), she never would have let me have her!  There was more; she claimed the cat was "depressed" and had lost weight, too.

Oh, I was FUMING.  She wrote a half-hearted "apology" a couple days later, but still insists that chipping is bad, and she regrets her choice of where her old cat ended up.

I have simply refused to engage, I have her emails now going into a separate folder, and it looks like she wrote me again last week, something with "God" in the subject line, but I didn't open it or read it.  Part of me feels this poor woman is feeling so out of control in her own life that she has latched on to this End of the World stuff and I should feel sorry for her.  But another part of me is so P|55ed off! 

I am still debating if some day I should send her a very short email, reassuring her the cat is fine, microchip isn't going to hurt her, sorry she feels she made the wrong choice.  And that would be it, no contact ever again.  I hate losing her as a friend, but this is something I am not going to rationally change her mind about. 

So, the cats are fine, it's PEOPLE that I'm having a problem with!  ARGH.

 

[Columbine]

Glad to hear the cats are fine It's not too surprising that they're taking a while to warm up to each other though - some cats are just more resistant to change than others.

I'm so sorry to hear about the incident with the old owner though. IMO, the best thing you can do right now is walk away. She's clearly not in a rational state - for whatever reason. It's sad, but it's hard to see how the friendship could stay free of conflict in the circumstances

YOU know you're doing the right thing by the cat, and that's what's important here

 

[barbgee]

Thanks for the positive reply.

I spoke to an old college friend for a little reassurance and a sanity check on the microchip issue.  This friend has been a practicing veterinarian for 30+ years, and I asked her if she's ever seen any stuff in cats or dogs that could be in any way linked to microchipping, and she said "Never!".  She was surprised when I sent her some of the links my friend sent me, and hadn't been aware of this "movement".  

One person did mention I could have told the old owner that I planned to take Newcat to the vet when I got her, to have her vaccines updated, chipped, and checked out, and I might have nipped this in the bud, but that's kind of water under the bridge at this point. 

The sad thing is this is someone I've known for 50+ years, we grew up together... We hadn't been in contact a lot prior to her losing her house, but I certainly didn't see this coming.

 

[barbgee]

Old and new cat are still maintaining separate spaces, although I've seen new cat make a stealthy attempt at going halfway up the stairs a few times.  Old cat scares her off.

It makes me unhappy that they cannot make friends.  Separately, each cat spends a lot of time alone, although upstairs cat at least has me all night while I sleep.  I try to sleep downstairs on the sofa with newer cat once in awhile, although I don't get much sleep (uncomfortable) and the cat doesn't cuddle.  I'm feeling a bit neglectful of both of them in the "Paying Attention To" and "Playing" Departments... 

I might try clicker training to give them each a little more mental stimulation.  Upstairs cat at least has decided that re-hydrated freeze dried chicken is a treat for her.  Downstairs cat isn't really all that food motivated, although I know I can just put the food away more. I feed them both a measured amount divided over two meals, with some going into food puzzle balls, that they both like to play with and eat from.  Not sure if I want to teach a trick, or a response to a command, or what, but I'd like them to have a little more stimulation in their lives.

I wish I could learn New Cat's language. She has a variety of meows when I interact with her, and I really am not having any luck understanding the various sounds she makes and what they mean.

They are both eating well, using their litter boxes, and seem happy to see me and want to interact with me when I'm around.  Wish I could do a bit more to make their lives more interesting...

Music for cats? Videos for cats?  Neither one is too keen on "automated" toys...  Any other ideas?

Sigh. 

 

[detroitcatlady]

So sorry to hear that the old owner reacted this way. Some people are really into conspiracy theories and often just do not want to hear any rational argument, I have never heard anything like this about microchipping cats so I was surprised to hear someone would react this way, honestly they should be thanking you for taking such good care of the cat and making sure she can't get out and run away.

Have you tried playing with the cats with a laser pointer or Da Bird or similar toy? The toys that you can put food in are more attractive to cats who have consistent meal times, if you free feed they may not be as interested. If you want them to have more stimulation while you are away or busy you may want to leave music on lightly or even the TV, my cats always seem to get more playful when they hear music. They are used to the TV being on a lot so they don't really respond to it, other cats might though. My cats always get really playful and excited when they see/hear a video or sound recording of other cats. I often "play" with my cats with a cat sounds app on my phone when they seem bored with everything else.

If the new cat is trying to come up the stairs occasionally she may eventually get brave and try to come closer to the old cat. Even though they are staying away from each other that doesn't necessarily mean they always will.

 

[barbgee]

Laser Pointer gets mixed responses, as does Da Bird.  I try to mix it up, but I'll admit that finding the time and energy for 4 play sessions a day (2 x 2 cats) can be a challenge for me.  Sometimes they seem a bit bored, so I am trying to not leave too many toys out, and try to mix it up.  They actually like the wrong end of a stick toy "under the rug", kind of like "gophers", better than most anything. Weird.

I leave the radio on during the day when I'm out, not too loud, mostly music.  At night, when I go to bed, I leave a TV on for both of them with a timer for another 90-120 minutes, just so they have a light, some sound as I'm getting to sleep.  Downstairs cat will at least look out a window.  Upstairs cat doesn't jump up on anything other than my bed, and seems uncomfortable looking out the window when there. 

The boyfriend did put on a youtube "entertainment for cats" video on his laptop once for upstairs cat, that had birds and squirrels, and Kitty did get pretty interested.  She kept going around the backside of the laptop screen, trying to "find" the birds!

We still have challenges with the two cats; downstairs cat is about 7lbs, a front declaw, once used to going outdoors, probably less a "semi-feral" than upstairs cat.

Upstairs cat is a tripod, probably pushing 10lbs (although I have her on a "diet" to get her closer to 8lbs) but has all her claws, and they are VERY sharp, and she is less domesticated than downstairs cat.

So, we have Spry Nimble Jumper Front Declaw Tiny Cat vs. Fierce Sharp-Clawed Territorial Tripod Who Doesn't Jump Up On Things Or Come Down Stairs cat.

Frankly, I'm a little surprised that Downstairs cat hasn't yet figured out that Upstairs cat will NOT come down after her.  If she can outrun Upstairs cat, or jump up onto something, she can escape Upstairs cat's claws and size.

And yes, my friends response to the microchipping is still a mystery to me, as is her notion of my "imprisoning" the cat.  I know there are many people who support allowing the full "catness" of cats, but where I live, it's not possible to let them out and feel okay about it.  As I always say, "letting them free outside is why I have a tripod cat."