Unplanned Rescue - Need Advice Please

[rubysmama]

Good luck. Please let us know how things go.

 

[trudy1]

Please don’t give up on her. The advice above is correct...you love them for how they are. Sometimes that’s not up to your expectations but given time I think if she came to show that kind of love for you she will for your friend.
Of course it depends on your friends expectations as well. If she is expecting a lap cat and is anxious about the cat fulfilling her expectations the cat can sense that.

Calm and patience should be your watchword and hers as well. It will work.

Keep the faith!

 

[di and bob]

I will pray everything goes well! Your friend needs to be able top give her much time and patience. I would say at least a month. She is just now starting to come out of her shell and look how long that took. I hope she can give her teh time she needs.

 

[Summercats]

D Dawn23
Best of luck to sweet pea.
Tell your friend she may take a few steps back when moved.
Give her a safe room with all she needs in it, food litter and seperate water and food bowls. When I help socialize cats I often spend time in the room just reading to them. Don’t make too much eye contact as they can see that as aggression, especially if already fearful.
Let us know how it goes.

 

[Dawn23]

My friend will be here in about an hour. I'm just a total mess. I've got to get myself together before I go in and start packing up things. Thanks for thinking about us today. It so helps to talk to people who understand how much you can love kitties and how doing the right thing for them can hurt so bad.

 

[kittens mom]

The outdoor insulated electric cat house I bought has a front and back with flaps and the plug is tested for outdoor use. I use it inside. It came with two attachable flaps so the cat would have an escape route. It would need to be up high enough to afford the cat access to the top of your porch or a tree or higher structure. Sad but true many people think that letting their dogs roam is acceptable. Stray and Feral cats are not afforded much protection in the world they should be safe in their own shelters.

 

[Dawn23]

Sweet Pea is in her new home. I had expected her to yowl like she did going to the vet for the entire 20 minute drive there but she did not make a peep! I was afraid she had passed out or something!

My friend went ahead of us and got the room ready with her chair, pillows, blankets, bowls, toys and litter box (with her litter in it). If was like we were moving. My friend left the door open and stayed out of sight while I took Sweet Pea in. I opened the carrier near her chair and she stayed in it for about 10 minutes. But then she came out, checked out the room a bit and then hid in the tiniest spot in a corner by a shelf. I got her out of there (and got to have quick cuddle) and put her under the chair. I sat and talked and petted her for about 30 minutes and then went to get my friend. When we came back, she had gotten behind the radiator. I got her out again (and got in another cuddle) and put her back under the chair. We sat and talked and petted her for about 1 1/2 hours. She seemed fairly calm but never did purr. We checked out the room and closed off some spots she could get in to except the radiator. It a long short one so not much to do to keep her from getting behind it. We left the room and my friend showed me around her house. Before I left we peeked back in and Sweet Pea was still under the chair. I hope that is where she will stay for now and not try to hide. My friend already had a really nice cat tree with a perch in front of a window and a cat cave so Sweet Pea should have all the comforts of home. And she has a really beautiful home, twice as large as mine, with plenty of room for Sweet Pea to run around when she gets comfortable.

I cried all the way home. But I know I have to give this a chance. It is the best thing for her if Sweet Pea will learn to love and trust her new caretakers.

 

[di and bob]

Oh, my heart goes out to you! EVERY cat I have rehomed I still think of, at least you will be able to stay in touch more. It will take a while, but Sweet Pea will adjust. Her new home sounds lovely. I will pray for her to find the love and home she deserves! Have your friend ask for advise as she needs, and give her encouragement. You have done well!

 

[trudy1]

Ya sweet pea! She will be fine mom. Just time and patience now. Sounds like you’re friend is in it for the long run as well. Tell her a special thanks from me and the 7 “kids”.

 

[kittens mom]

Sweet Pea is in her new home. I had expected her to yowl like she did going to the vet for the entire 20 minute drive there but she did not make a peep! I was afraid she had passed out or something!

My friend went ahead of us and got the room ready with her chair, pillows, blankets, bowls, toys and litter box (with her litter in it). If was like we were moving. My friend left the door open and stayed out of sight while I took Sweet Pea in. I opened the carrier near her chair and she stayed in it for about 10 minutes. But then she came out, checked out the room a bit and then hid in the tiniest spot in a corner by a shelf. I got her out of there (and got to have quick cuddle) and put her under the chair. I sat and talked and petted her for about 30 minutes and then went to get my friend. When we came back, she had gotten behind the radiator. I got her out again (and got in another cuddle) and put her back under the chair. We sat and talked and petted her for about 1 1/2 hours. She seemed fairly calm but never did purr. We checked out the room and closed off some spots she could get in to except the radiator. It a long short one so not much to do to keep her from getting behind it. We left the room and my friend showed me around her house. Before I left we peeked back in and Sweet Pea was still under the chair. I hope that is where she will stay for now and not try to hide. My friend already had a really nice cat tree with a perch in front of a window and a cat cave so Sweet Pea should have all the comforts of home. And she has a really beautiful home, twice as large as mine, with plenty of room for Sweet Pea to run around when she gets comfortable.

I cried all the way home. But I know I have to give this a chance. It is the best thing for her if Sweet Pea will learn to love and trust her new caretakers.

Hugs and thank you for seeing she had a better chance some where else. Adulting sucks.

 

[Dawn23]

I know you guys are probably tired of my panicked freaking out about everything but here I go again. And I know it also has to do with the fact that I miss Sweet Pea so very much.

SP didn't eat until last night and then not much. She's been “hiding” against the wall behind a bicycle tire every time my friend has come in. My friend said that judging by scattered cat litter pieces, she has been on the cat tree and is apparently sleeping in the carrier.

But here are my concerns. I know my friend has a good heart and she is doing a big favor by helping me. I know she is trying to do the right thing for SP but she is not like us. She doesn't have the passion for it and really doesn't understand why she should have to try so hard. She was frustrated that we made no progress after two weeks of visits and said she would not want to keep her if she could never interact with her. She had mentioned a 6 months trial but I knew that if we waited that long, SP would have a really hard time readjusting to being back with me. Which is why I suggested 3 weeks since she is planning to spend that next weekend at her mother's house out of town, leaving SP alone.

When we were sitting with SP at her house, she told me something she had been keeping from me. I knew that her mother had died last summer and that her husband was living in her mother's house about 2 hours away. She said that he had started feeding a stray in the fall and had brought her in a month ago. She was immediately a cuddle bug and totally at home. This is the kind of cat she wants. She showed me pictures of her and the cat curled up on the couch. I think she kept it from me because she knows how difficult it would be for me to keep SP and truly wants to help and didn't want to put pressure on me to keep her.

My friend works long hours and has activities she is involved in and I don't think she will be willing to spend the time with SP that she will need. She also goes to her mother's house for the weekend at least once a month. Her niece is planning to spend some time with SP but she is only there a few days during the week and adding another person to the mix could make things worse. I knew this going in but I wanted to believe things would just work out with the time we had put in and SP would quickly come around. But what if I was wrong? I know we said we would give it 3 weeks but I hate thinking that SP will be miserable all that time and then end up back here. Do you think that will be ok?

 

[Dawn23]

I talked to my friend tonight and Sweet Pea has hardly eaten anything and is now hiding back in the corner by the bookcase I thought I had cut off. She said SP just looks terrified and can't believe she is so frightened of her after she was able to pet her for two weeks. She hadn't gotten home until 9 and was only going to be able to spend a little time with her before bed. Then she said her husband had called and said he is pretty sure the stray he brought in is pregnant. So it looks like they are going to have kittens. He said maybe they would get a little black one. She loves black cats which is why she was interested in SP in the first place. I asked her if she wanted me to take SP back. She said we should talk tomorrow, see if SP eats, but I could tell that she would be relieved. And, actually, I am, too. For the first time in weeks, my anxiety level is not at 11. I know it's not going to be easy to integrate SP (or I guess we are back to Trei) into my cat family and all the reasons I had for not keeping her are still there, but I love her and she loves me and I will make it work somehow. I hope she won't be too mad at me for putting her through this. I guess I should have listened to my heart, but I had to try. If only to find out she really belongs with me.

 

[rubysmama]

Sorry it seems as though Sweet Pea (aka Trei) isn't settling into her new family. If you are able to take her back, and it sounds like you want to, maybe having her in a different house for a few days will make the introductions to your own cats easier.

You've probably already read these, but just in case you haven't, here's a couple articles on cat introductions:
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction

 

[trudy1]

So let’s get real....what are the reasons you can’t keep her
1)
2)
And so on?
Now that you’ve had some time to think about it. Are you sure she would “stress your two seniors “? Obviously you and she have bonded since it sounds like either one or the other of you is always crying at being separated.
I’m not unsure that with the wealth of expertise in the forum at your disposal she couldn’t be integrated with your existing “cat family”
Why I’m stressing this is that I sense what you are going through having been through similar circumstances. There is not a day goes by I don’t think about my babies I had to give up, wonder if they are scared, hungry, hurt, etc. You’re reactions are much like mine were but I would encourage you to make the effort to keep her for your own sanity. For people like you and I.....also many on this forum it never gets “better”.

 

[maggiedemi]

I say, go get your cat. Some people are just not like "us." We will love a feral/stray cat no matter what they do wrong, no matter how much they hide, no matter if they cuddle with us or not. We will never give up on them, leave them, or abandon them. Go get your baby. We will help you with everything else.

 

[Dawn23]

Trei is home, eating and doing fine. Last night I was reading in her chair and she jumped up and laid down next to me and went to sleep. And, of course, I'm keeping her.

Thanks to you all for your advice and for just listening this past 6 weeks. It really did help to get my thoughts written out as the journey progressed.

I've brought a few strays in to my home in the last 45 years. I'm getting the baby gate tonight and will start introductions this weekend. I didn't expect to be doing it again but I've got this.

Thanks again.

 

[maggiedemi]

I'm glad she's home.

 

[rubysmama]

I'm glad she's home.

Me too. Good luck with the introductions.

 

[trudy1]

Thanks....I know how you feel when that still small voice inside your head says “ not another one, I just don’t need this”

But she needed you

Keep the faith!