Unplanned Rescue - Need Advice Please

[trudy1]

Sorry you couldn’t keep her in until you heard back from the rescue.

Why do you think the dogs will not get her too?

 

[Dawn23]

That is on my mind but the dogs have not been seen (at least together) since that night. There is a pretty active community of us on Nextdoor and folks are very vigilant about lost and found animals. I'm certainly not making any excuses for the dogs but we have had below freezing temps almost all month with a lot of ice and snow and they were probably checking porches seeking shelter. Just hearing the dogs come outside next door sent Trei under the car so she seems to be very aware of the danger. June didn't roam the neighborhood like Trei does and may not have been as aware.

Trei is back in "her" room. She yowled like the first night but calmed down fairly quickly. I haven't heard from the rescue person so my plan right now is to let her out this weekend while the temps are good and bring her back in Monday when it is supposed to get cold again for a few days. Or maybe just let her out during the day. But I can't keep her locked up in there all the time. I don't think that's fair to her. I just hope she can adjust to being in and out. I'm going to work on the shelter but I'm not going to test her with that just yet. I can't bear to think of her in the cold at this point.

 

[Dawn23]

She's beautiful! What a lovely shiny coat.

She is so soft and sleek. The night before the attack I was actually petting Trei and June for a while, which I didn't usually do much because I didn't want all of us to get too attached and was still trying to fool myself that they were not "my" cats. I was thinking how soft they were and how well they took care of themselves. I'm glad now that I spent that time with June. Today is the first calm normal day I've had since she died and I just keep crying.

 

[Dawn23]

I haven't heard back from anyone on taking Trei so I'm going with the plan of letting her be in and out. I let her out this morning and the first thing she did was go in the shelter again. I wonder if she is looking for June? I'm very anxious about her being out there which is crazy. This is her neighborhood, she's lived out there for at least 3 years. A couple of times I've gone out, she wasn't around. But mostly she is staying around the yard and on the porch. Some of her friends from the hoarder house have also been out there. They come around for meals occasionally. I put some food at the back of the driveway to keep them from coming up on the porch. They do that sometimes and she is used to it but today I don't want them spooking her. I plan to leave her out tonight. If I can stand it. I know she is happier out there than in the room (she cried a lot last night). It's going to rain tomorrow night so I'll bring her back in before then. If she gets caught in the rain, will it wash off the Advantage?

 

[Dawn23]

It’s been over 2 weeks since I brought Trei in and I might have a friend who will give her a home. I say “might” because she is hesitant about it at this point. She adopted a stray a year ago who turned out to have FeLV and then developed other health issues and died within a few months. To alleviate that worry, I took Trei to the vet yesterday to have a thorough physical. She had to be sedated because she freaked out when they got her out of the carrier. But she did well with that and she is negative for FeLV and FIV and her blood work looked good. She also got all her vaccinations.


My friend came over Sunday to meet Trei and, of course, she hid under a table. My friend thought she would just come to her because the stray she adopted last year had been fed by many neighbors and was well socialized. But Trei only knows me. So the plan now is to have her come by after work every day and sit with Trei for a while. I’m really hoping she will warm up to my friend. She is very affectionate with me. I’ll stay in the room in the beginning but I hope by next week my friend will be able to hang out with her alone. I’m going to ask her if she has an old t-shirt or something with her scent on it to bring over, too.


I’m spending some time with Trei but I don’t want her to get more attached to me than she is. And, to be honest, me getting more attached to her. I feel really guilty that she is in a room alone all the time. I can’t get her interested in playing with toys. She will for about 30 seconds but then the toy doesn’t fight back and she loses interest. (She and her sister were very good hunters – I’ve found squirrels, birds and mice on my welcome mat). I got her a wand toy and will try that tonight. I also pulled the curtains back at a window and made a perch for her today. I set her up there and she looked out for a minute and then jumped back down. But maybe it will make her curious and give her some stimulation.


Anything else we should be doing to try to transfer her affection to my friend? I'm afraid if Trei doesn't warm up to her in a couple weeks, she will decide Trei is too wild and give up.

 

[trudy1]

If you’re friend is prepared to devote a couple of weeks to socializing this baby to her then what you are doing should work. Trei appears to have focused on you as her buddy and the transfer will just take slow patience.

She must be a true friend to you, you’re lucky!

 

[Dawn23]

I've known my friend for about 12 years - we work together. I'm so happy she is willing to be patient with this.

It went well the last two nights. We sat with Trei (who is going to be Sweet Pea) for about an hour each night. I have a papasan chair and the base is like a little jail cell. That’s where Trei stayed – not two feet from us! We sat on the floor and talked to each other and her. She let me pet her. My friend put her hand about a foot away from her and she didn’t react. She also brought over a t-shirt and I put it by her food bowl while she ate and then on the chair where she sleeps. My friend is going out of town this weekend so we won’t get to do it again until Monday but I’m very hopeful that this will work.


On the other hand, I still feel very guilty that she is in the room alone and bored. I can’t get her interested in toys. The wand toy didn’t work. I bought her a catnip filled toy yesterday and she had no reaction to it. Last night she cried a lot after I left her for the night. It amazes me how quickly she has gotten attached to me. She let me pick her up and give her a kiss on the head this morning. If I didn’t know better, I would think that she had been an indoor cat before.


My 5 year old cat slipped in the room the other night while I was getting fresh water. When I got back in there, she and Trei were just sitting there looking at each other. Do you think it would be ok to let her go in there (supervised of course) to hang out with Trei? Or would that make it harder when Trei goes to a one-cat home?

 

[houseofnine]

Just my opinion, but I think it's great whenever you have a cat that is curious about other cats. I'd encourage the interaction. Maybe your five year old can teach Trei how to play by demonstrating. We have 12 cats now, three of whom that we got as adult ferals. We got our latest one, Aimee, one month ago today! Our 8 month old kitten, Bonnie, is super friendly so she's been a little ambassador to Aimee. We let them have supervised visits in Aimee's room. Aimee is more hissing than playing, but I think she's still interested in this wee visitor. =)
It would be good to get Trei used to another cat, because what if you friend decides she eventually wants TWO Cats?!
Best of luck. Your friend sounds like she's awesome, just like you!

 

[Dawn23]

I’m so torn now. Trei has adapted very well to being inside. And she’s gotten very attached to me. She lets me pick her up and kiss her. I was reading in “her” chair yesterday and she jumped up and curled up next to me. Of course, she has known me for 2 years so it’s not that surprising that she feels safe with me. Now I’m worried that she will be traumatized by going to a new home. My friend is coming over tonight and says she wants to try to pet her. She hasn’t seen Trei since last Thursday. I’m afraid my friend has unrealistic expectations for how quickly Trei will warm up to her. Yet keeping her with me much longer could make the transition worse. My heart wants to keep her but my head knows there are too many reasons why I can’t. I just can’t bear to think of her stressed and unhappy.


Has anyone had a cat they owned for a long time that they had to rehome? Did they do well with the new owners? I guess I just need to know that she will adapt and forget me and love her new humans.

 

[houseofnine]

I haven't had to rehome an adult cat. Hubs and I were sobbing basket cases when we gave two of our kittens to my good friend from work. Even though she is a mature, experienced cat owner with pre-vet training and the best I could ever ask for in an adopter. One of our twelve is a "politically peeing" jerk. We have 14 litter boxes and shovel 2x daily. She's the only one I've wanted to give back to her rescue mommy, but even then I think I'd regret it. =(
But back to the kittens: they are little lovebugs with my friend. They snuggle with her every night, and are getting to be friends with her 3 adult residents. When we went to visit, the more outgoing male kitten remembered us and gave us head-butts, but the shy female wanted nothing to do with me, which made me really, really sad. But it's about what's best for them. =)

 

[Dawn23]

I've been obsessing about this for days. I think what really bothered me was that this morning my friend told me that she wasn't sure why Trei would need to be in a room by herself for at least a few days. I don't want to seem like a know-it-all but I did try to explain that Trei will need to get comfortable and feel safe before she is allowed to roam the whole house. I'm so crazy I'm even planning to take "her" chair there since that is where she stays most of the time. I worry that she will hide for days. I worry that she will miss me and hate these new people. I worry that she will somehow get out of the house. Arrggghh! I feel like I'm giving up a child and I don't even have children.

 

[houseofnine]

I've been obsessing about this for days. I think what really bothered me was that this morning my friend told me that she wasn't sure why Trei would need to be in a room by herself for at least a few days. I don't want to seem like a know-it-all but I did try to explain that Trei will need to get comfortable and feel safe before she is allowed to roam the whole house. I'm so crazy I'm even planning to take "her" chair there since that is where she stays most of the time. I worry that she will hide for days. I worry that she will miss me and hate these new people. I worry that she will somehow get out of the house. Arrggghh! I feel like I'm giving up a child and I don't even have children.

Keep her! (said the one with 12 cats). I totally hear you. I really do think you should keep her though. Semiferals are tough in that some people say they only bond to one or maybe two caretakers. One of ours will only let my husband pet her, even after almost 5 years.

 

[Dawn23]

I so wish I could. But I can't let my heart overrule my head. I was willing to give her to a stranger in the beginning (before she put her claws in my heart ). At least this way, I can visit her if that doesn't upset her. I sent my friend a link to "How to Help a New Cat Adjust to Your Home" so hopefully that will help her. She's only adopted cats in the past who were already socialized to people. And I have to stress to her that Trei will probably always have to be sedated when taken to the vet. She's coming by after work so maybe since Trei has been sleeping on her t-shirt, she will feel more comfortable with her.

 

[Dawn23]

Things went really well last night. Trei stayed in her chair when we went in the room. I started petting her and then my friend came up beside me and started petting her. A noise startled Trei and she jumped down and got under the chair. My friend and I set on the floor and talked and eventually my friend reached under the chair and scratched Trei's chin. She didn't even flinch! I really think having her sleep on my friend's t-shirt helped her recognize her. She is going to come by tomorrow night and over the weekend. She is going to her allergist next week to adjust her shots (she's slightly allergic to cats) so it will probably be the next weekend at least before we can make the move. But I'm hopeful it's going to go well. Sorry about freaking out yesterday with all my worries. I have a tendency to pre-panic.


Here is a picture of Trei in her chair.

 

[rubysmama]

Thank you for bringing beautiful Trei inside and caring for her. So sorry about her sister.
Glad things are going well with the introductions between Trei and your friend. Hope it all works out.

 

[Dawn23]

My friend came by today and we went through the routine of sitting on the floor with Trei under the chair, talking and occasionally reaching in to pet her. Then while my friend was petting her, she whispered "she's purring!". We were both so excited! It's going to be at least a week or two before we can make the move to her house. She is having some work done inside her house starting this week and wants all that completed before we do. Hopefully, Trei aka Sweet Pea will come out from under the chair at some point before that. My friend has totally fallen in love with her. I'm so glad it's going so well.

 

[di and bob]

It sounds like things are going extremely well. I hope you just stress to your friend that when she does move to her home there may be a set back. But I have a feeling everything will turn out in the end, bless you both for caring for that little girl, and I wish her all the best!

 

[trudy1]

I know what you’re going through. I’ve had to rehome lots of rescues but most are ones that lived with me for a couple of months.
The parting will be sad and there will be times during the day you will look for her. But the best thing is you can visit!! When you see she is loved and cared for the “cat mom” in you will be satisfied.
Very happy for all of you!

 

[Dawn23]

We are moving Trei/Sweet Pea tomorrow. My friend has been coming over a few times a week and Trei still lets her pet her and starts purring but she won't come out from under the chair. For the last week my friend has gone in alone and takes her food in and sits with her but T/SP won't budge. My friend is disappointed and frustrated but is really making every effort to make this work, reading articles about dealing with shy and fearful cats, getting a Feliway dispenser. But we had a long talk the other night and she expressed concern that T/SP will never come around. I think she really wants her to but she said what was the point of having a cat you can't interact with. To ease her mind, I told her that if T/SP is still hiding in a few weeks, I could take her back. I could figure out a way to make it work here but my head still knows that is not the best solution. But my heart.....

I'm just so worried about how T/SP is going to react. Over the last 6 weeks she and I have really bonded. She lets me pick her up and hug and kiss on her. I kept telling myself that I was just getting her used to human affection. But maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Now the idea of her leaving tomorrow is breaking my heart. But something has to happen. She is so tired of being in her room alone. She doesn't try to get out but is very curious about what is happening in the rest of the house. She needs to begin the process to having a real life.

I know she is going to be very upset at being moved to a new room, even with her chair and blankets and food bowls and litter box. My friend has her niece living with her part time while she attends college. She plans to introduce her to T/SP next week. T/SP has been sleeping on one of her t-shirts for the last few days. I know they will try their best with her.

Maybe this is all just me. I'm putting human traits on T/SP when I think about her reactions. I'm afraid she will miss me as much as I miss her. We've decided that I shouldn't visit for a while, hoping that her craving for affection will win out and she will turn to them. I really want that so very much.

Please wish us all luck as we try to give Trei/Sweet Pea the live she deserves.

 

[orange&white]

It will work out. You and you friend have done everything right to make the transition as smooth as possible.

I had a very shy cat for 16.5 years. She always came to sit on top of me, purr and be cuddled/petted if I was lying down. She got scared and hid if I got up to move...her whole life. I loved her so much, but I did adopt a second cat when she was two years old, so that I could enjoy a very sociable, outgoing cat while little Miss Tess lived in her shadow world. We just have to love them for who they are.

Good vibes your way for a smooth transition.