Too much wrestling

[danteshuman]

My bully was 4 years old when he started terrorizing my mom’s senior kitty. He didn’t start to calm down until he was 7.5 years old! Dante was the hyperest cat I have ever known; hence my saying I would have put him on prozac if I had to do it over again (& he was neutered at 4.5 months old.) Kicker toys didn’t stop his bully Iv or his pouncing my other cat and nipping him between the shoulder blades on days when he was really bored or on days when he was stuck inside. He treated my other (& older by a year) cat like a pounce toy when he was bored; his entire life. Catifying and reintroducing them might helped my 2 cats but it wouldn’t have helped stop Dante’s extreme bullying.

Luckily this case sounds way less extreme! Tire out your hyper cat’s mind, give him daily harness walks (or better yet a catio), build up your victim cats self confidence with daily 1 on 1 play (with your bully & possibly the other cat locked out), that plus catifying & possible reintroduction should put a stop to it.

My other cat quickly learned that I would not let Dante jump on him, if I was nearby. So he stuck close. They divided up the space and had what I thought was more of a frenemy thing going. Imagine my surprise when after Dante died, Salem grieved for him for over a year!!! So hopefully your senior and problem child will become frenemies or learn to ignore each other!

 

[Meowmee]

I will look into Gabapentin. We did get a 4 additional cat trees so we have 5 total now.

So the thunder coat would go on the hyper cat? Interesting concept it is basically like a weighted sleeping blanket.

Every other night we are putting the wresting kitten in a room by himself so they all get a night of rest.

Yes the thunder coat goes on the hyper / aggressive cat. I hope your dvm lets you try the gaba. It is actually 3 cats now who it has worked for for aggression / fear / stress- I had forgotten about Jezibel who was on it for pain but it also helped her stress / fear/ aggression too. She sadly passed from cancer which wasn’t detected until after an enucleation, she was also and outdoor coming inside.

That is good they are getting a break from him.

 

[TardisDance]

I had the same problem with my 2 cats, Sango, a 5 year old female, and Kirby, a 2 year male. Kirby is the newest addition and I adopted him at 1.5 years old thinking that getting an “adult” rather than a kitten would be a better match. I learned that these boards, it’s possibly the worst age because he is as hyper as a kitten but the size of an adult. He would constantly chase Sango and groom her until she was soaking wet and she just even take it or run away. I tried all the advice offered, but it’s really been time that has helped. I think they just reached a breaking point where he started scruffing her hard (so much so she was yelping) and she’s had enough. She‘s started slapping him back and tried to bunny kick him on multiple scruff attempts. Now he’s totally backed off - he pounces her once or twice in morning/night but mostly leaves her alone now and sleeps during the day now in a separate window perch. And yes, he even used to bully her off her favorite window perch despite spending hundreds on various cat furniture.

This is all after having him for 8 months. He’s still a PITA to her but it’s getting better.

 

[Meowmee]

This is what helped calm my hyper terror down! Dante was pretty well behaved if he got his afternoon outside time. I would love to say he learned to quit bullying the declawed senior kitty; but he didn’t. We just stopped letting him get within 5 feet of her.

View attachment 421935

Is that Dante? I thought he was the cat in your profile pic for some reason. So sorry for your loss, I read in your response he had passed.

 

[Meowmee]

I personally wouldn't have gotten a kitten with an older cat. Maybe get a second kitten to play with the kitten and they can leave the older cat alone. You have to look at it from the cat's perspective.

He did get another kitten / young cat, a girl, and now the young male bully is terrorizing both girls.

 

[misty8723]

He did get another kitten / young cat, a girl, and now the young male bully is terrorizing both girls.

Geez. It's never easy. I hope the situation gets better.

 

[smbsocal]

Things have gotten better with him but the solution may not be for everyone.

We got another kitten, a small 4 month old female. Now he will chase after and play with one of the kittens until they are annoyed with him and move on to the other kitten. If he pushes one kitten too far we isolate him in a room for 15 minutes to calm down.

He hasn't done any chasing or wrestling with the elder cat.

An interesting thing is that he is gentle with the new small kitten. He will pin her down and play with her but does so in a much more gentle fashion than with the Bengal. She whines a lot when they wrestle but a couple times when we broke them up she will chase after him and re-instigate the wrestling.

This is the most cats we have had in the house but it is nice to have life in the house and we will never have any two legged kids.

 

[FeebysOwner]

You are right, adding yet another cat to the home may not work for many. Glad it appears it might work for you.

 

[ArtNJ]

Oh thats excellent! I definitely should have mentioned that in my earlier post. Its a bit of a risk and can even backfire, but it definitely does work very well for some and may be a good gamble!

 

[Robyn5678]

I agree that 3 kittens works well. It’s what I currently have (2 11 month old males and a 8 month old female). If they are awake, they are playing. And it is nice to have one that another can go to when it tires one out. I also find my 8 month old female makes the most noise but she is 1000000% the instigator.

 

[TardisDance]

Interesting, when I read this, I thought the problem was combination of 2 females and 1 male, but I guess 3 females and 1 male works? I thought maybe the issue was 2 females with a male kitten? I feel like the male kittens need a wrestling buddy? Trying to understand cat gender relationships is certainly confusing!

My neighbor is trying to catch some kittens wandering near his barn. I’m tempted to take one of the males (if any) to entertain my 2 year old male so he backs off my 5 year old female (as I said in an earlier post, he calmed some but still a PITA to the female). I would of course keep the small kitten in a crate or separate room at night as I’m worried about size factor (I’d watch them during the day as I work at home).

 

[smbsocal]

The male gets along with everyone now, even the old cat now that he isn't trying to wrestle with her. In order of age all three females hiss at each other and keep a foot distance between each other. So the eldest cat hisses at the two females still but is getting better. The second female doesn't hiss at the eldest but does the newest and youngest. The youngest hisses at no one unless she is hissed at first then she puts on a fake tough image and hisses back.

 

[TardisDance]

S smbsocal I love it LOL Probably too much sass between the girls that the male doesn’t want to get involved.

 

[Meowmee]

The male gets along with everyone now, even the old cat now that he isn't trying to wrestle with her. In order of age all three females hiss at each other and keep a foot distance between each other. So the eldest cat hisses at the two females still but is getting better. The second female doesn't hiss at the eldest but does the newest and youngest. The youngest hisses at no one unless she is hissed at first then she puts on a fake tough image and hisses back.

Oh oh, you have 3 girls now should be interesting

 

[Robyn5678]

My 2 females do NOT get along. One is 17 years and one is 8 months. I’m sure it has to do with the fact that the 3 kittens came in to her home. She doesnt like the 11 month old boys but it’s the female she’d go after before the boys

 

[smbsocal]

The male kitten still likes to wrestle but only does so with the two kittens so far. The second kitten still doesn't like to wrestle but would rather play tag. The third kitten, and smallest, likes to wrestle as long as it isn't too strong.

The older cat is hissing less at the kittens now. Hopefully she will start to feel good enough about the other kittens to go back to using the litter box. As it stands it is a daily game finding where she peed and cleaning it up. Thank god for the Amazon Enzyme cleaner.

 

[Meowmee]

The male kitten still likes to wrestle but only does so with the two kittens so far. The second kitten still doesn't like to wrestle but would rather play tag. The third kitten, and smallest, likes to wrestle as long as it isn't too strong.

The older cat is hissing less at the kittens now. Hopefully she will start to feel good enough about the other kittens to go back to using the litter box. As it stands it is a daily game finding where she peed and cleaning it up. Thank god for the Amazon Enzyme cleaner.

Make sure she has a super clean box X 2 at least just for her. SCOE is the only cleaner that has ever worked for me.

 

[smbsocal]

We currently have 8 cat litter boxes, adding another tomorrow, in a couple of the bathrooms through the house. Even so we have incidents in the corners of rooms. I think it is more about marking than actually functional peeing.

Getting good at laying down pee pads and aluminum foil in the hot spots and cleaning them up in the morning and evening.

 

[Alldara]

Is there any help or advice anyone can offer? I saw a couple of similar situations in posts here but the original poster never follows up one what the resolution was.

Hey! I started reading it all but then it was a lot so I wanted to just address your initial post..I apologize in advance if I say something you already covered.

Background: we lost a cat in 2020 and were in the same position. We got a kitten for our 16 year old cat and then as we went back to work after quarantine ended up getting our kitten another kitten friend.

1. I like Jackson Galaxy for a lot of things, BUT we disagree on a few things. One of these things is "handplay" with cats. I have a bright orange ovenmitt and I wrestle with my cats. Just like another cat, I make an "EEEP!" Sound if it gets too rough and walk off. I have only found it stands to teach my cats to be gentle.

2. That wrestle-flopping-fish-toy that's advertised everywhere? Yeah that's a great electronic kicker toy to put some catnip on and let our wrestle-fanatics go at.

3. Electronic cat toys to chase. We bought a few as they went on clearance at our local stores and swap them out.

4. Think "how can I make you move to eat this food?" Then do that. If they eat any dry, toss peices for your hyper cat to chase. Use a food ball. Look up how to make puzzle toys out of empty toilet paper rolls. Movement, and enrichment. Tire that cat out.

5. Enrichment: he needs other stuff to do that is not bothering the other two. They both need more sleep than him. And someone above said that it will only stand to deteriorate their relationship to just leave it be and sort with time? Yeah totally correct. Ideas: bird feeders at windows, pingpong ball in the bathtub, catnip, blow bubbles for them to chase, add a couple scratchers, fill a box with scrap paper, get a cheep cat tunnel, build a cat fort with boxes, check out some homemade cat puzzle tutorials on YouTube. Visit the local store and see if you can buy a few of those toys in the tubs that are like $1 each and maybe he'll have a favourite.

Our cats also like CatTv on an old phone and a woollen dryer ball from the dollar store (unscented) that we sprayed with catnip.

6. Your play with cat: wand toys only ever amuse Magnus for a week at a time..put away and rotate in later. Try things like dragging a string acorss the ground (do not leave out as it is a safety hazard); have a silvervine or cat chicken chew stick hide in and around things (he will poke and chew it! - we have a small U shaped scratcher from PetSmart to play under and around); try real fur toys from Etsy; hide and seek chase (make 'burr'ing sounds at your cats so they know it's play. Start with peek-a-boo); if safe, use the stick of the wand toy to play -- have it hide and gently poke your cat or slide under your cat.

7. Make a sound that your cat knows is you initiating play. We use a "tikatik" sound for wrestling with toys or the mitt. Or we also use burring sounds as that's what cats actually make. They'll understand you want them to play after awhile!

8. Don't give up on play time. Stick to it. Experiment and see what works for even 5 minutes at a time.

9. If safe to do so, consider walking your middle-child cat on a harness and leash.

 

[Meowmee]

We currently have 8 cat litter boxes, adding another tomorrow, in a couple of the bathrooms through the house. Even so we have incidents in the corners of rooms. I think it is more about marking than actually functional peeing.

Getting good at laying down pee pads and aluminum foil in the hot spots and cleaning them up in the morning and evening.

Pee/ wee pads are great, Sybil was a problematic peer most of her life and would only pee on a wee pad in a lb.