The "What's on your mind?" Thread -2017

[Margret]

"How can it hurt physically, that's impossible?"

Everything is connected. Your mind is a part of your body, just like any other organ, and is connected to every other organ. And pain is something that can only be directly perceived by the person who is hurting. If your experience is that it hurts, then it hurts. Period, end of discussion, and no one has a right to tell you that you don't "really" feel what you feel.

Margret

 

[NewYork1303]

This will be the first Halloween where we actually live in a neighborhood with trick or treater's. How does all of this work? I don't know anything about it.

 

[Margret]

This will be the first Halloween where we actually live in a neighborhood with trick or treater's. How does all of this work? I don't know anything about it.

1. Procure treats in advance. If they're snacks or candy, make sure that everything you're planning to hand out is in some kind of sealed packaging -- something that's tamper-evident. (There are scare stories about treats being poisoned or having things like pins and razor blades hidden inside. Tamper-evident packaging reassures parents.) Also, make sure that whatever you get is something you or your family likes, but there will almost certainy be leftovers.
2. On Halloween, have your costume (if any) on before dusk falls.
3. As soon as it begins to get dark on Halloween turn on your porch light to let the kids know that they're welcome.
4. When the kids come to your door, admire their costumes and give them each a treat.
5. When you decide that you've had enough and want to go to bed turn off the porch light and go to bed.

Margret

 

[foxxycat]

This conversation about autism and all is very enlightening. Thank you both Willowy and Arouetta for sharing this very personal side of your lives.

My dad is an aspie and he didn't figure it out until his 60s. He sat me down and showed me some things. It all made sense then. All the stuff that happened in our family. How he didn't get the support and tools to learn what he needed. It was his way of saying I am sorry and that was fine.

I do understand the getting sterilized..I did the same. My mother also was bipolar and some other stuff. So it was a rocky time for sure..two people who both had melt downs and didn't understand why..and I as a child was left to stuff that back into my heart and hope I never have to talk about it..but alas...it always comes out later...and at 20 I knew I never wanted kids...I just couldn't put my kid through my own selfish needs and wants..as much as I wanted to be a mother it just would have been too much for me..so I finally found a doctor in my 30s to take care of this mess.

I may never understand why he does what he does...he too had sensitivity to noise but loves music..must be where I got that from. My mom was very emotional-and probably where I learned it from...they both could get passionate about "issues" and the arguments could make your head spin..but the funny part was I could see both sides...but I would tip toe gently out of the room and escape to my own room.

This whole discussion is helping others in the back ground. I am sure of it. At least I got the empathy down sometimes. But sometimes I have to walk in their shoes to understand...a humbling experience for sure. And it's good to teach new skills. Sometimes we have to get a thump on the head so to speak to see things differently..but what does one do when they see life through a 360° degree lens??? Makes it complicated...when we see all sides....

 

[dahli6]

1990s=I was in HEAVEN. NOW I could COMMUNICATE!

I still have trouble communicating. I will post really well for a while and then someone will decide that I am a bad person, I get misunderstood and then I shut down. Online and in real life. Sometimes I feel like I am sitting on my hands with my mouth sewn shut.

arouetta No excuses was their criteria, not mine.
I grew up believing no one could be trusted so I figure out how to do everything on my own. In my private world everyone has an angle. I am sorry that I said something that made you feels hurt and defensive.
I cannot explain myself at all.

 

[tallyollyopia]

I'm thinking of bowing out of this debate. You say forced to act normal. I point out that no, that's not what's happening, what is happening enabling a person to function in society in a way that offers a quality life. You say forced to act normal and punitive. I point out that no, I don't know and never knew of any parent that does that. You say again forced to act normal. I don't know how else I can possibly say that "acting normal" isn't the goal, has never been the goal and won't be the goal of intensive therapy to get a person to the best level of functioning that he or she is capable of reaching. The goal is to keep the kid from growing into an adult that simply can't function at all and is condemned to a mental hospital like they did decades ago and to allow the kid to grow into an adult that can make his or her own way into the world to the best that the disorder will allow, survive and thrive with minimal support needed, and enjoy the world in the process.

For whatever reason you are convinced that parents only want "acting normal" when I can tell you that out of the literally hundreds of parents I networked with when we had no clue what would help our children, and the thousands they in turn networked with, "acting normal" was rarely a stated goal and cause to get one more than one tongue-lashing. And since there was a definite possibility that a parent was also on the spectrum and undiagnosed, you can imagine how unabashed and direct some of those tongue-lashings were. "Act normal" is known to not be a reasonable goal and therefore was never a goal. Never, never, never by parents who grasped the enormity of the situation and the reality of the disorder. Never.



First of all, if she wasn't in school then the school was in violation of federal law and probably state law as well. For disabled children, schooling starts at age 3. Some states lower the age of public school for disabled kids to 2.

Second of all, I wonder if you have been talking to my mother as she kept telling me (from across the country) that there was nothing wrong with my daughter as I also didn't talk until nearly 5/avoided people/had rituals/etc and I was fine. The day that I laid into her about how no, I wasn't fine, I was mentally ill for darn near a decade without treatment while under her roof, she cried and didn't talk to me for weeks. Serious delays are a sign of something going on, even if the full symptoms don't express themselves for a while.....like my childhood onset bipolar disorder.

Okay, yeah, deep breath on my end too.

I'm sure there were people who withdrew from the online community that had the goal of "normal". And I don't know about these days, I've only stuck my toes in the caregiver waters once in the last decade.

But what I do remember.....when they started talking some of those serious terms, you cry. And then you ask the doctor "How long will it take for her to be normal?" And the doctor says "First, this is lifelong. Take normal off the table. Your kid is never going to be normal. Never. What we are shooting for is an independent and quality life. We are shooting for your child to develop the skills to live on her own and we are shooting for her to have the full range of life as everyone else - family, job, fun stuff. Second, normal is a myth. The term is neurotypical. And your kid is never going to be neurotypical." And then you cry some more.

Then you talk to the therapist and she says the same thing. Independent, quality life. No such thing as normal and your kid will never be neurotypical. And then she hands you reading material, tells you where to get more, and tells you to attend the local support group. She also suggests seeing what is on AOL for online communities.

And then you read the material and you go to the local meetings and you find some email lists to get on. And the parents say the same thing. Independent, quality life, no such thing as normal, neurotypical. And you cry. And they cry with you, and they start telling you how they cope. (And then if you're me and you get the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in the same month as the PDD-NOS diagnosis and you learn both have a genetic component and many of your fellow parents have more than one kid on the spectrum, you get yourself sterilized by the end of the month to eliminate the chance of passing on more troublesome genes.)

And then the helpful treatment suggestions start. You hear about the MMR study that was just published. You hear how the doctor who published the study tied it to intestinal inflammation and four different parents have tried the GF diet to reduce inflammation and their kids act cured as long as they stay on that diet. And these three parents got even better results by going GFCF (no rice on top of no wheat). And someone had their kid tested for an unrelated condition and secretin was used for the testing and it cured him for a month and another injection kept it going another month, and next thing you know a $5 vial of secretin is now $1000 and a black market item with no doctor being sure the parents actually have secretin in the vial as everyone is scrambling for this rare resource. And some therapists believe in Greenspan's floor time while others believe in ABA but in all honesty no one knows if either works. And this and that and this and that. And shortly after each treatment suggestion the arguments start, with the faithful on one side looking for converts and the skeptics on the other side saying "Are you f****** kidding me????"

My daughter's psychiatrist said that we were basically throwing cooked spaghetti at a wall....throw as much as you can and hope something sticks. My daughter's developmental pediatrician said it was flavor of the month club, every month there was another cause and another cure and 90% of it was bogus. (I was asking him about the GFCF diet.)

And then there's the day when your child's speech therapist says that if you want your kid to show appropriate social behavior you have to model it. If you don't, she's definitely not going to pick it up. And you ask what's the issue and the therapist replies "Are you looking me in the eyes?" And you realize you're looking at the toy next to her. And she says that she's never once in the last few years seen you look someone in the eye, and you need to learn it if you want your daughter to learn it. And then you get a slight inkling of why people with autism hate eye contact when you actually feel physical pain in the back of your eyeballs when you look people in the eye. So you start off with the trick that you learned in Debate class back in high school, to look at the bridge of people's noses because it tricks them into thinking you are looking them in the eye, and you promise yourself to pass this trick along when your kid is old enough to understand.

Every time you start thinking the word "normal" the other parents get you straight again, there ain't no such thing and this is lifelong. Then your kid gets to a point where reasoning is possible, well, the reasoning a young child is capable of. So then you start talking about The Rules, since kids with autism are all about rules, and you answer the questions of "why?" with "People are supposed to be nice to each other, that is part of The Rules, and your part in being nice is occasionally giving up the lecture on (interest) and letting other people talk. Your part in being nice is also not bluntly saying 'That's stupid', and we will roleplay an appropriate response to use in such situations." And when they respond with "But that's not the truth!" you respond with "How would you feel if that was said to you?" and when the response is "I'd feel bad" then you explain that other people have feelings too and they would feel that way even if that's not the intent and that's why The Rules exist, so that people can be true to themselves but also be nice to others and help make someone feel good. Because while your kid has the social graces of a tree frog, your kid also has a good heart and just needs help learning to soften their statements. And you role play that, and other stuff, and pretty much any social situation you can think of so your kid is prepared when the situation comes up.

And then one day you realize that you haven't cried in a while, and you haven't thought of a cure in a while, and you are the one that is now telling a scared parent with a new diagnosis that normal is a setting on a dryer and this is a marathon, not a sprint, and that the goal is an independent, quality life.

And then your kid gets older and you start suffering from caregiver burnout so you aren't going gung ho about the new stuff coming out now. You are kinda at a point of sailing smoothly. Years from now you will kick yourself in the behind as you think of possibilities that were missed and how your kid survived childhood with a level of paranoia about bullies that equals your own...and they got you on medicine for your paranoia. But all the years have taken their toll and you just can't do more and more and more, especially when your kid throws the ADHD medicine out and decides to face school without that support and it shows in not a good way.

But your kid's ability to reason is farther along and you can discuss The Rules more in depth and how all social contact is a dance and the most important thing is a first impression. You can't undo a first impression, so look at it like playing Monopoly, X is the goal and Y behaviors during the first impression is a strategy to reach that goal. Then you discuss how people will often meet you halfway, so if you show interest in them, if you follow the social rules, they in turn will forgive your oddities and they will be there to show you when you need help that Mommy can't give. Every single time your kid mouths off or says something mean, you go through the whole "How would you feel if the situation were reversed?" since your kid still hasn't learned empathy unless walked through it, at which point she feels really bad that she hurt someone's feelings....and then three days later you are walking her through empathy again. (I wonder if imaging the tables turned will ever turn into an automatic reflex.) And with all your talk about life being like a board game where you have to decide your goal and plan a strategy to get to that goal and learn the social and communication rules enough to use those in your strategy to attain your goal, you start to wonder if you are providing a primer on how to be a sociopath. And then your kid sniffles when you walk her through empathy again or becomes outraged beyond belief over something that she read in the news that hurt someone else, and you are reassured that you don't have a sociopath on your hands and you talk more about goals and how a goal could be to be a good friend and the strategies and the rules of the game.

And then it all becomes automatic and you don't really think about how your way of communicating with your daughter and her way of communicating back isn't like everyone else. You don't. Because you got yourself sterilized so you have no neurotypical child to compare with.

And you get a crazy psych eval results one day that brings you back to ASD online communities and you see what survived those crazy first days to become the gold standard treatment and what is so long gone and discredited that the new parents have never even heard of them. And some guy sends you a PM about a new experimental therapy that actually has a sound theory behind it, but you go off on how you are done with experimental therapies forever. Your kid was an unwilling guinea pig simply because no one knew what worked but everyone knew how not even trying meant no progress, but they've got ABA now, and as far as you are concerned experimental is one of the worst cuss words on the planet.

And then one day you get into a big debate on a board about cats and you practice walking through empathy for once and you realize the person on the other end got a raw deal in her childhood, that her parents never quite got the lesson of "lifelong" and "independent, quality life is the goal" and then she meets you halfway, which makes you regret your fire in your earlier posts. And you apologize. And you think of all the automatic stuff you are doing with your daughter and that maybe you need to take out a page from way earlier in the history book and actually start talking about life like a board game again and walk through empathy as it applies to her job and role play appropriate responses, this time about more than social situations, this time about life skills as well.

W Willowy I'm sorry for not realizing right off that you didn't have the family meet you halfway. And I'm sorry for my attitude. And thank you for the chance to reflect and realize how I can still help my own daughter.

I once had a fortune cookie that said: You reach a place in learning where the only way to learn more is to teach what you have learned. So--what you said, but simpler.

 

[tallyollyopia]

I don't think it was family exactly. As I said, my parents aren't neurotypical either. And since we were overseas we weren't around extended family, thankfully (my grandparents would have been terrible for us). My dad is definitely Aspie and my mom has severe ADD or something that looks like it. My dad is anxious around kids (noise, unpredictability) plus he was in the Navy and was gone half the time anyway, so he wasn't involved in our daily lives. He was present (half the time) but not present, if you know what I mean. The detachment only an Aspie man can manage, I think. My mom did the best she could but was raised in an abusive family and never had any support for her issues, so she didn't know what to do most of the time. So if they didn't meet me halfway it was because they couldn't, and who can fault them for that?

She never tried to get any treatment, we just adapted our lives to our issues and muddled through. She didn't push things like eye contact, or trying to stop stimming. That was other people. Teachers and doctors and and "friends" and church ladies and random store clerks, etc. *To my mom* "why do you let him/her do that?" *to the child* "stop that, you're embarrassing your mother!" or "look me in the eye when you talk to me, sweetie". Ugh. I don't have too many complaints about my parents. A few, but who doesn't? I have a lot of complaints about everybody else, though, lol.

But, yes, I've never been on the parent's side of things. Thank you for explaining it so well.



YES. Seriously, that is so hard to explain to people. "How can it hurt physically, that's impossible?" WELL IT DOES.

I've been in care situations with children, and have never attempted to force children to look me in the eye. (I don't expect it of adults, why should I expect it of children?)

This will be the first Halloween where we actually live in a neighborhood with trick or treater's. How does all of this work? I don't know anything about it.

1. Procure treats in advance. If they're snacks or candy, make sure that everything you're planning to hand out is in some kind of sealed packaging -- something that's tamper-evident. (There are scare stories about treats being poisoned or having things like pins and razor blades hidden inside. Tamper-evident packaging reassures parents.) Also, make sure that whatever you get is something you or your family likes, but there will almost certainy be leftovers.
2. On Halloween, have your costume (if any) on before dusk falls.
3. As soon as it begins to get dark on Halloween turn on your porch light to let the kids know that they're welcome.
4. When the kids come to your door, admire their costumes and give them each a treat.
5. When you decide that you've had enough and want to go to bed turn off the porch light and go to bed.

Margret

I would also like to add; you might want to get more candy than you think you need. I've known parents (one of whom was DD) to take their kids to the end of block, have the switch costumes, give them fresh empty bags (or empty the bags into a bigger bag or bucket) and take them 'round the neighborhood again, hitting all the best houses. But you should absolutely have candy that your family likes so that if there is any leftover, it won't be leftover for long.

 

[tallyollyopia]

Okay, so most of what I was trying to quote vanished on me, but I remember reading a rant about how parents of a child that doesn't speak needs remedial education, and I have a couple of stories to share about that subject.

One was a young cousin (third, I think) who just didn't talk. Thought nothing of it, because she could clearly hear (she was about two or three) and everyone develops differently. However, one day she got hurt and she made a weird sound--a sound that I'd only heard once before when I heard a dog that was in pain from a bark collar (not my dog--I never inflicted that on my dogs). So I talked her parents, my cousins, into taking her to the doctor (well, nagged them into it, anyway) and having him check her throat. Turned out she had some kind of polyp on her vocal cords making it painful for them to vibrate like they're supposed to.

The other was RB, when he was young. A lot of my aunts just assumed he was retarded (it was once a medical diagnosis and not an insult), because he didn't speak (but he did make sounds, unlike the cousin I mentioned earlier). At the time he had near constant ear infections and it turned out that he wasn't speaking--because he couldn't hear. One has to hear the words to learn how to say the words, after all.

 

[tallyollyopia]

Dear Customer,

The floor is not a drain. The floor does not have a drain. Please refrain from dumping your drink on the floor.

Yes, it is possible for the clerk not have a spare thirty-six cents in order for you to complete your purchase. In fact, it happens all the time. No, getting mad at the clerk will not help.

The store is a non-smoking establishment. Having pointed that out to you, I would also like to point out that the counters by the registers (or any other counter in the store) is not an ashtray. Please refrain from both smoking and putting out cigarettes on the counter.

I would, once again, like to point out that we have over seven conveniently placed trash cans within the store. They are easily identifiable by the signs on them that say "waste" and not by signs that say "fresh fruit", "water", or "candy."

If you are too drunk to make it to the counter with your beer, I am not selling it to you. I don't care if you pulled up in a taxi.

A seventy year-old does not look like a seventeen year-old. You must wait another four years to buy beer.

Yelling at the clerk for being too slow to make it to the counter while you are waiting will not make her go any faster. Neither will abusive insults--but she will verbally throw you out the store and threaten to call the police on you.

I understand that you may have missed the sign by the pump, the sign on the door, and the giant wooden sign with the carved letters above the registers, so I will repeat it: we will ID for all age restricted products--alcohol, tobacco, lighters, and lottery tickets. Yes, I will card you for a lottery ticket. No, I will not accept a picture of your ID on your phone.

If you get to the counter and do not have the required amount of money to purchase the items you wish, please inform your clerk. The clerk will understand, and will be much less annoyed than if you leave it on the counter and say you'll be "right back".

Please do not feed the feral cats by the pumps. We do like the cats, we appreciate what magnificent hunters they are--but crossing the parking lot is hazardous to their health and we do not encourage it. If you wish to feed the cats, please feed them by the fence; we have a designated space for that.

Pounding on the door and screaming at the clerk to "fix the pumps" isn't going to magically put gasoline in the tanks.

Third shift is the most commonly robbed shift. Therefore, as a prevention measure, third shift keeps the register drawer as light as possible and still able to function. This means that the clerk's inability to immediately break your hundred for a thirty-five cent pack of gum is not due to your race, gender, sexual orientation, or status in society. It means the clerk will have to get your change out of the safe, which is on a randomized timer for extra security and robbery prevention. Yelling will not help. Screaming and stamping your foot on the ground makes you look like a small child throwing a tantrum.

We would appreciate it if you would refrain from insulting young children in front of the clerk. It drives her into a temporary homicidal rage, and she cannot afford the jail time that would result from indulging in it.

The bathrooms are haunted. The ghost has informed management that if one more person doesn't flush the toilet/urinal, they will follow that person home and clog all their toilets and back the septic/sewage into their house. Save yourselves! Flush the toilet/urinal!

 

[NewYork1303]

1. Procure treats in advance. If they're snacks or candy, make sure that everything you're planning to hand out is in some kind of sealed packaging -- something that's tamper-evident. (There are scare stories about treats being poisoned or having things like pins and razor blades hidden inside. Tamper-evident packaging reassures parents.) Also, make sure that whatever you get is something you or your family likes, but there will almost certainy be leftovers.
2. On Halloween, have your costume (if any) on before dusk falls.
3. As soon as it begins to get dark on Halloween turn on your porch light to let the kids know that they're welcome.
4. When the kids come to your door, admire their costumes and give them each a treat.
5. When you decide that you've had enough and want to go to bed turn off the porch light and go to bed.

Margret

I've been in care situations with children, and have never attempted to force children to look me in the eye. (I don't expect it of adults, why should I expect it of children?)





I would also like to add; you might want to get more candy than you think you need. I've known parents (one of whom was DD) to take their kids to the end of block, have the switch costumes, give them fresh empty bags (or empty the bags into a bigger bag or bucket) and take them 'round the neighborhood again, hitting all the best houses. But you should absolutely have candy that your family likes so that if there is any leftover, it won't be leftover for long.

From what I've heard from people who live in the neighborhood I should plan to hand out around 400 treats. We're going to have a ton of candy at least 400 pieces and some little toy options as well (cause there are kids with allergies).

 

[arouetta]

I don't remember what it is I read, but something sparked a memory of a very grrrr encounter with a customer.

So they had me on a register a couple of days ago, Target does that if there's too many people in line, they pull sales floor staff to the registers until the lines calm down. (So if you are ever in Target and there's a bunch of customers in line and you can't find anyone on the floor to help you, that's why there's no one on the floor.) A woman was buying a ton of cat litter, two 35 pound tubs. And a lot of teeny little cans of food. I asked how many cats she had, I figured with all the cat litter she had a bunch, but she only had three. I mentioned that I have two cats, and how surprising it was how my cat litter needs dropped after my third one died, she was always at the water dish and it showed. The woman said she knows about cats and the fact that my cat was constantly drinking water meant something was wrong with her, and that's probably what killed her. Um, no, she had been like that for about a decade and during that decade she had pre-operative blood tests that said she was healthy, a couple of sugar checks that were normal, and pre-death bloodwork only showed a beginning liver problem, nothing else wrong. She simply liked water. The woman was just a self-proclaimed cat expert who was convinced that water indicated Shadow was ill in some way. Hey, I live this life, I'm the one with her, the water didn't do her in because it would have done so years before if it indicated a problem.

Grrr.

 

[dahli6]

Not the best picture but I thought it was cute. 10 week old kitten wanted me to hold him while he naps. I turned my hoodie around and he is sleeping in the hood.

 

[kashmir64]

I don't remember what it is I read, but something sparked a memory of a very grrrr encounter with a customer.

So they had me on a register a couple of days ago, Target does that if there's too many people in line, they pull sales floor staff to the registers until the lines calm down. (So if you are ever in Target and there's a bunch of customers in line and you can't find anyone on the floor to help you, that's why there's no one on the floor.) A woman was buying a ton of cat litter, two 35 pound tubs. And a lot of teeny little cans of food. I asked how many cats she had, I figured with all the cat litter she had a bunch, but she only had three. I mentioned that I have two cats, and how surprising it was how my cat litter needs dropped after my third one died, she was always at the water dish and it showed. The woman said she knows about cats and the fact that my cat was constantly drinking water meant something was wrong with her, and that's probably what killed her. Um, no, she had been like that for about a decade and during that decade she had pre-operative blood tests that said she was healthy, a couple of sugar checks that were normal, and pre-death bloodwork only showed a beginning liver problem, nothing else wrong. She simply liked water. The woman was just a self-proclaimed cat expert who was convinced that water indicated Shadow was ill in some way. Hey, I live this life, I'm the one with her, the water didn't do her in because it would have done so years before if it indicated a problem.

Grrr.

I had a horse like that. He was six months and all he did was drink and pee. Went through about 20+ gallons of water a day. Had him tested and it turns out he was just bored. Blood work was perfect.
Not all animals are sick when they drink a lot of water.

 

[NewYork1303]

I don't remember what it is I read, but something sparked a memory of a very grrrr encounter with a customer.

So they had me on a register a couple of days ago, Target does that if there's too many people in line, they pull sales floor staff to the registers until the lines calm down. (So if you are ever in Target and there's a bunch of customers in line and you can't find anyone on the floor to help you, that's why there's no one on the floor.) A woman was buying a ton of cat litter, two 35 pound tubs. And a lot of teeny little cans of food. I asked how many cats she had, I figured with all the cat litter she had a bunch, but she only had three. I mentioned that I have two cats, and how surprising it was how my cat litter needs dropped after my third one died, she was always at the water dish and it showed. The woman said she knows about cats and the fact that my cat was constantly drinking water meant something was wrong with her, and that's probably what killed her. Um, no, she had been like that for about a decade and during that decade she had pre-operative blood tests that said she was healthy, a couple of sugar checks that were normal, and pre-death bloodwork only showed a beginning liver problem, nothing else wrong. She simply liked water. The woman was just a self-proclaimed cat expert who was convinced that water indicated Shadow was ill in some way. Hey, I live this life, I'm the one with her, the water didn't do her in because it would have done so years before if it indicated a problem.

Grrr.

The person probably just assumed it was a kidney problem or something. Lots of cats with kidney problems drink water constantly. Of course there are also cats like Shadow that just drink a lot for no medical reason.

Carrot loves to drink water even though he and the girls both eat mainly wet and raw food now. Ruby and Angua rarely if ever seem to drink.

 

[kashmir64]

I was told once "If you think you know everything about it, then you know nothing at all". In this case the person meant horses, but you can apply that to any subject. I find it to be true.

 

[Willowy]

I've been in care situations with children, and have never attempted to force children to look me in the eye. (I don't expect it of adults, why should I expect it of children?)

You'd be surprised how many people feel like they can say it to adults too. It's usually older people with a high degree of familiarity, like family members, but not always. I can't imagine the level of chutzpah it would take to say something like that to an adult stranger.

I have had a baby shower, wedding shower, wedding, going-away party, or housewarming party to go to for the last 5 or 6 weekends. The next 2 weekends too. I haven't gotten anything done at home because I usually do chores on weekends. Stop having significant life events, people! Lol. Nah it's fun. But, wow, they don't usually all come at once.

 

[arouetta]

Ugh.

So before work I threw in two pairs of pants and two skirts that were all off-white into the washer with the dye. Got the dyeing part done, threw them into the dryer, left for work. So I never saw the end product until after I got home. And the dye applied unevenly, nothing is a solid shade.

I think I screwed up in a couple of ways. The dye instructions said the clothes had to be in the dye at least half an hour so I threw them in "soak" mode for over half an hour and then tried to wash them. The washer wouldn't get out of soak mode when I simply switched settings, so I canceled it and it drained fully before starting. I didn't think it a big deal but clothes do float a bit. I kept opening the lid and moving them around, but the lack of agitation probably did a lot for the unevenness. Plus the washer kept adding more and more water until I paused it, which is what kept agitation from happening, and there was probably too much water, diluting the dye a bit much. My washer has a million settings, but water level isn't one of them. You tell it how heavily soiled the clothes are, water temp and pick one of 8 or 10 cycles, and it determines the amount of water all on its own.

 

[tallyollyopia]

You'd be surprised how many people feel like they can say it to adults too. It's usually older people with a high degree of familiarity, like family members, but not always. I can't imagine the level of chutzpah it would take to say something like that to an adult stranger.

I have had a baby shower, wedding shower, wedding, going-away party, or housewarming party to go to for the last 5 or 6 weekends. The next 2 weekends too. I haven't gotten anything done at home because I usually do chores on weekends. Stop having significant life events, people! Lol. Nah it's fun. But, wow, they don't usually all come at once.

I'm getting exhausted just reading about it.

Ugh.

So before work I threw in two pairs of pants and two skirts that were all off-white into the washer with the dye. Got the dyeing part done, threw them into the dryer, left for work. So I never saw the end product until after I got home. And the dye applied unevenly, nothing is a solid shade.

I think I screwed up in a couple of ways. The dye instructions said the clothes had to be in the dye at least half an hour so I threw them in "soak" mode for over half an hour and then tried to wash them. The washer wouldn't get out of soak mode when I simply switched settings, so I canceled it and it drained fully before starting. I didn't think it a big deal but clothes do float a bit. I kept opening the lid and moving them around, but the lack of agitation probably did a lot for the unevenness. Plus the washer kept adding more and more water until I paused it, which is what kept agitation from happening, and there was probably too much water, diluting the dye a bit much. My washer has a million settings, but water level isn't one of them. You tell it how heavily soiled the clothes are, water temp and pick one of 8 or 10 cycles, and it determines the amount of water all on its own.

 

[Mia6]

I am so saddened and stunned by the shootings in Las Vegas last night.
Will this ever end?????

 

[dahli6]

I wish abc had done more to inform it's viewing audience about the cultural origins of The Good Doctor.
I keep seeing blogs and articles giving credit to David Shore and abc; they glance over it being a previously Korean series.
That is my pettiness for the day.