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- Nov 16, 2016
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I am not sure what the goal of the diagnosis was.
My daughter was diagnosed with Pervasive Development Disorder when she was 4. Not a "valid or "official" diagnosis anymore but it doesn't change the fact that she is in the spectrum. Even with early intervention and a highly disciplined structured early childhood, she has still struggled. Her personality is slightly off, her sense of humor is slightly off, classmates at times found her a bit unsympathetic at times. High School was the best and the worst. She spent the first month and a half in after school detention for tardies as she struggled to learn the rhythm of her new schedule.
After Pre-kindergarten the PDD was only mentioned after the 8th grade. I wanted her to grow and develop as normally as possible without an Autism diagnosis to use as a crutch but when she started having trouble figuring out how to get to her classes on time I mentioned to her that we could let the school know about her problem so she might not be punished for it and she insisted on figuring it out herself.
As an adult I learned that I would have been diagnosed with Autism or Asperger as a child, if we had had that sort of diagnosis in the 70's and 80's. I suffered horrible abuse and ridicule at the hands of my mother for being a "mamby pamby" who couldn't make eye contact or speak an appropriate volume, for acting "retarded" because I twitched my hands, face and shoulders but I was also "so smart" because I learned to read before I was a year old.
I went through some of the same hardships as my daughter without support or understanding.
The same year I gave birth to my son, my mother gave birth to my half brother; three years later he was diagnosed with severe Autism and his diagnosis has been helpful and harmful to him. From him I have come to understand that in his own mind he is completely normal. He has struggled at times to make others understand him. He knows what people think of him and he wants to be seen as who he is instead of his diagnosis. My mother says that he has the mentality of a 12 or 13 year old but I know he wants to be an adult(he is 21).
I am 43. I have had a lifetime of searching for answers while living in a society that has been really uncomfortable and confusing at times. Learning the diagnosis as an adult has made me feel a little more hurt toward my mother but that is really all.
I don't know how old your brother is, so I don't know how long he has gone without therapy. The doctor is right that a diagnosis as an adult doesn't do much good unless your brother is willing to work on himself. In early Autism education the most common therapy is speech therapy; to work on social interaction, and structured routine. Routine is critical.
I must tell you that we are also living in an age that sees people who have grown up caged by diagnosis of developmental-retardation, Autism, and other brain abnormalities actively working to get out from under Social Services Disability and become main stream members of society. Early as possible knowledge and intervention is the key to learning to navigate and communicate properly.
I hope your brother can have whatever he needs and everything will be ok. He is still the person he was before he was diagnosed so I hope you still see him the same as before.
there. LOL 
I only need to get a friend and her family gifts. My family doesn't celebrate the holiday and I don't bother with gifts for co-workers anymore. My friend is getting a winter hat (she mentioned she needed a new one), her DH is getting a gift subscription to a local foodie magazine, and the two DS are sharing a gift of red kernel popcorn that's still on the corn cob (it goes into the microwave to pop). And her cats will get toys or treats besides the shipping box 
