Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

I learned how much my actions and emotions impacted the cats. The main thing is you are working on it. That really is the key. Too many people don't sadly. Yes, mine like to do it on the stairs and that is dangerous. Oh my, he sounds like my girl........ I am glad he didn't eat much. Whew.

That is FANTASTIC!! They do love each other though I know sometimes they don't show it. That is really cute he grooms her. And even cuter he grooms you. Mine do that as well though some more than others. I feel my hair getting pulled too often!!! And they love to groom arms..........

Yep. They do that.

YES!!!

Yes, they are amazing. I have a lot of predators, coyotes, owls, etc. They have to survive. At least I can give them food and shelter but when they are out an about............... Today my one feral was on his back with his legs spread and his belly open to the sky!! I was so angry. Of course, his pal was there but still, that is very vulnerable. Sometimes I wonder if I have softened them too much..........

Yes, they will have their head lower. Usually they would have to be threatened to attack but it was good you were aware. If you saw my ferals you would think they were house cats. I wonder if the black cat is taken care of by someone....... The other cats sound so gorgeous. I just love cats.

He sounds pretty tame. A true, true feral you rarely see or only see for a split second. That is very normal behavior for a feral. That is very good you don't have predators. Fox will eat kittens and even cats sometimes though.

It sounds like you are really doing well with your cats. Well done!!

 

[Animal Freak]

Hey, sorry about disappearing. I'm struggling trying to figure out how to balance college, work, and taking care of the animals. Things should get a bit calmer as time goes on, but I think yesterday was the first day I got on my computer this week and I wasn't on long.

I think my emotions have a larger affect on Ember, who takes things out on Ash. Ash doesn't seem affected by much. Even doing something he knows he isn't supposed to do, he'll act like you should pet him. He's become such a brat, honestly... Seems like he's always getting into something. I can't leave a bowl of yoghurt or cereal out for two minutes because he'll get into it.

I've been dealing with some guilt lately because I haven't been taking care of them as well as I should be. I'm just struggling to figure out how to fit everything in though. There's a couple of days a week that I work immediately after college and I'm just ready to go to bed by the time I get home. They seem to be doing alright, but I know I have to get back into a routine.

Ferals are impressive little animals. They're small, but smart and strong. That is a pretty vulnerable position to be in outside. Frost's favorite position to be in. I would imagine they're still aware of the dangers though.

Well, Stella can be excitable around cats. She'll stare at them, quicken her pace, and whine, so I was a bit nervous about the cat taking it the wrong way. Fortunately, Stella didn't even seem to notice the cat. There is another old lady who puts food and water out on her porch. I've seen a few cats hanging out around there.

Yes, of course. I guess I should say he's skittish compared to the cats that I do see. Not overly so. Probably more in the middle. The ones I see are usually either very calm or gone in a split second. Old Tom will watch me for a moment and seems to have very specific boundaries. First he watches, then he walks, then he runs. He's worried me a bit lately though. The other day we were on a walk and Stella actually noticed him first. I saw an orange tail between a couple of bushes by the sidewalk along someone's fence. I was very surprised to see a cat let us get so close (a couple of feet, at most, at this point). You can imagine my surprise when I realized it was Old Tom! I could have reached out and touched him he was so close and he didn't budge. I said, "Hey, Old Tom," pretty loudly and he still hardly reacted. He looks worse up close too. He's in pretty rough shape. On our way back he jumped out of the bushes maybe a couple of feet in front of us and left at a quick pace, but not exactly running. I didn't see him for a while after that and I have to admit I was worried something had been wrong with him, but I saw him a distance away I think the day before yesterday. He seems back to normal.

I saw a cat that looked like it was limping today. I'm hoping it was a minor injury. It's a cat I believe I've seen before a few times, but not sure. There's a lot of blue cats.

 

[calicosrspecial]

No need to apologize, totally understand. Good luck in college, study hard!! I know you will do great!!

Yes, that could be. Sometimes I think some cats understand the nuance a bit more. Ember seems to need you more so she may be more sensitive than Ash who knows you love him no matter what. Hard to explain but sometimes the closer a cat is the more sensitive and the more sensitive the more clsoe they are if that makes sense.

At least you only have one a brat. I have a few............. They have no idea that what is mine is sometimes mine. They think they can always share. :/ I know the feeling well.

You should never feel guilty. You take great care of them. It is hard to balance but you will figure it out and so will they. All the work you have been doing is prepping them for this change. Just keep loving them and they will be fine.

They really are. VERY vulnerable. Today, an old intact feral came by (I have been trying to trap him for a year but he is REALLY smart, trap savvy). Well, I was feeding him and my feral was all rollie pollie with him around and I know that my feral doesn't like him and feel threatened. They at times almost get into it. But he is rollie pollie??? I guess he can't feel too threatened.......... But I was out there as well so they get more confident when I am there. :/

A lot of dogs can be and of course Stella knows cats. It is good she may not have seen the cat but I am guessing she was aware by scent. She was a good girl. It is amazing how many people do feed ferals. A lot of people do care.

Yes, they can be all over the place on skittishness. Some get fed so they associate people with good, etc. I am glad he seems back to normal. I know, it is hard. Hopefully he is ok. Life as a feral is hard and even if you try to take care of them some can disappear and not get their shots or get into bad things etc. Dealing with ferals has a lot of great moments but a lot of sadness and awful moments as well. I have cried too many times because of the heartbreak. But all we can do is our best. :/

Yep. It is awful to see an injured animal and even harder to get them in to the vet (and then to try to heal them). A lot of times they limp for a short term reason (let's hope it is that). If not, hopefully someone can help but it is hard to help a feral recover. I have done it but it is not easy and not for everyone that is for sure. :/ Fingers crossed it is nothing.

I just wanted to let you know that I have to be away for a while and will not be able to get online. Next weekend. So if you don;t hear from me that is what is going on sadly. But hopefully all goes well and I can be back soon.

 

[Animal Freak]

Thanks, I'm trying. It's a bit difficult to balance it all though.

Yeah, Ember definitely seems a bit more sensitive. Of course, when she has a problem, everyone has a problem because she takes it out on Ash and then Ash is upset...

This is true... It would be worse if I had more than one. Though once Ash does something, they all do. Ember is pretty bad about the counters too because she's so food motivated and has learned from Ash.

It's still so hard. I think it's worse for the dog than the cats, but I hate not being able to give them more attention. And they usually get a snack in the afternoon, but I'm not home in time.

Cats are odd. They're smart too though. I would think they know what they're doing even when we don't. I think having a person they trust helps too though. I've found Ember won't usually won't go attack Ash if I'm between them though she will end up wandering away from me and I have to move to stay between them.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder about that dog's sense of smell... She's always struggled with finding dropped bit of food and treats even if it's right by her feet and there've been a couple of times where she's been maybe a foot from Old Tom without ever noticing him. She'd sit and stare at me like she expects a treat and I know she'd be excited about him being right there if she noticed him.

Ember has managed to convince my mom that she has a tape worm. She lost some weight and acts like she's starved around food, but she is highly food motivated and I noticed her getting a bit more desperate for our food after we cut the amount of people food she gets down. But the thing is, she doesn't act like that with me. She's bad, yes, but not like with my mom. She does act frantic when it's my mom and is trying to eat snatch food from her. Ember won't let my mom feed the other two without trying to it get it at all and my mom also complains about Ember biting her to get the food. But I can say the name of who I'm feeding and Ember (usually) lets me feed them and she doesn't bite me very often. When she does, it's not typically hard though there've been a couple of times she got a bit too excited.

I am worried about Old Tom. I've seen him by those bushes a few times now. I saw him the other day and one of his eyes was mostly shut. It also looked like he might've been scratched? I'm not sure because I didn't want to stand there and stare at him, but I saw a red line on his cheek. Then I didn't see him for a day or two, but saw him this morning looking a bit rough. He just... doesn't look well. His face is a mess and I can't even pinpoint exactly what's wrong. His ears are tilted sharply forward almost on his forehead, both eyes are squinty and one is almost closed, and the fur is just ragged, but it doesn't look that bad on the rest of his body. I left him a piece of a dog treat on our way back from the walk. It's a human-grade jerky treat. That was the closest I've ever been to him since I reached toward him to set the treat down and he hardly reacted.

I hope it was nothing. Maybe scratched on a fence or in a scuffle with another cat. I haven't seen the cat since, but I'm fairly sure I had seen it before and wasn't limping.

That's alright. I'm not on very much anymore anyway, so you probably won't miss much.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thanks, I'm trying. It's a bit difficult to balance it all though.

Yeah, Ember definitely seems a bit more sensitive. Of course, when she has a problem, everyone has a problem because she takes it out on Ash and then Ash is upset...

This is true... It would be worse if I had more than one. Though once Ash does something, they all do. Ember is pretty bad about the counters too because she's so food motivated and has learned from Ash.

It's still so hard. I think it's worse for the dog than the cats, but I hate not being able to give them more attention. And they usually get a snack in the afternoon, but I'm not home in time.

Cats are odd. They're smart too though. I would think they know what they're doing even when we don't. I think having a person they trust helps too though. I've found Ember won't usually won't go attack Ash if I'm between them though she will end up wandering away from me and I have to move to stay between them.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder about that dog's sense of smell... She's always struggled with finding dropped bit of food and treats even if it's right by her feet and there've been a couple of times where she's been maybe a foot from Old Tom without ever noticing him. She'd sit and stare at me like she expects a treat and I know she'd be excited about him being right there if she noticed him.

Ember has managed to convince my mom that she has a tape worm. She lost some weight and acts like she's starved around food, but she is highly food motivated and I noticed her getting a bit more desperate for our food after we cut the amount of people food she gets down. But the thing is, she doesn't act like that with me. She's bad, yes, but not like with my mom. She does act frantic when it's my mom and is trying to eat snatch food from her. Ember won't let my mom feed the other two without trying to it get it at all and my mom also complains about Ember biting her to get the food. But I can say the name of who I'm feeding and Ember (usually) lets me feed them and she doesn't bite me very often. When she does, it's not typically hard though there've been a couple of times she got a bit too excited.

I am worried about Old Tom. I've seen him by those bushes a few times now. I saw him the other day and one of his eyes was mostly shut. It also looked like he might've been scratched? I'm not sure because I didn't want to stand there and stare at him, but I saw a red line on his cheek. Then I didn't see him for a day or two, but saw him this morning looking a bit rough. He just... doesn't look well. His face is a mess and I can't even pinpoint exactly what's wrong. His ears are tilted sharply forward almost on his forehead, both eyes are squinty and one is almost closed, and the fur is just ragged, but it doesn't look that bad on the rest of his body. I left him a piece of a dog treat on our way back from the walk. It's a human-grade jerky treat. That was the closest I've ever been to him since I reached toward him to set the treat down and he hardly reacted.

I hope it was nothing. Maybe scratched on a fence or in a scuffle with another cat. I haven't seen the cat since, but I'm fairly sure I had seen it before and wasn't limping.

That's alright. I'm not on very much anymore anyway, so you probably won't miss much.

Sorry for the delay but I am back now.

It is very difficult but you can handle it. All these challenges make us stronger and better.

Yes, that is common. It is easy to throw things off balance. :/

VERY common.

I know but if you do your best that is all we can do. They will adapt. They have jut been very spoiled for a long time. In a good way.

VERY smart!! They absolutely know. I have seen it so many times. It is very common for them to do certain things when we are not around but when we are around they behave. :/

Hmmmmm, I hope not. But could be. Exposure to certain things can do that as can genetics I would guess. I hope Stella doesn't have issues.

I hope Ember is ok. I would get her checked just in case. If they eat a fly etc it can cause issues. Cats can react differently to the person. A lot of times they think they can manipulate the one person more. Not good that she does bite. We need to put an end to that.

That is so terrible. I know. Can you contact a rescue group? Poor Old Tom. It is heartbreaking to see an animal in distress.

I hope it was nothing.

I am back now (obviously). Hahahahaha. So just post when you want. I hope all is going well and better. You can handle anything.

 

[Animal Freak]

That's fine. As long as you're alright. We can manage.

It's still really hard, but things are getting easier. My schedule is becoming more normal. My mom got a new job at home that she just started this week so I don't have to worry about leaving the dog every day. I'm getting quicker at my job and it isn't so tiring.

That cats have been driving us both crazy. And when I say cats, I mostly just mean Ash. My mom even got a spray bottle for when he gets on the counters. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not all that worried either. Ash isn't afraid of water. I don't even think she's been using it much. And I think your bread-loving cat came and told Ash about the wonders of bread because he gets into everything bready. My mom has had a bag of bread in her work bag twice and he's gotten into it to get it out. No clue how he even knew the bread was there. He ate on half of the banana bread my mom made. I think it goes without saying that was my half.

I don't know what to do. I still need to get the boys up to date on their shots for this year. Ember probably needs to be checked out again and was supposed to get dental work. The dog has been chewing and scratching at herself a lot lately and I don't know why. I've tried bathing her once and want to do it again. I can't afford to do all of it at once. My work doesn't give me much of a discount either. Mostly just if I need medication.

Ember's gotten a little too good at catching flies. She gets them on her first try fairly often. And there's been a lot of them. But I still think my mom is sort of over-observing her. She goes on and on about how thin Ember is, but she's really not that thin. She used to be overweight and had a loose flap of skin on top of that, but that skin disappeared when she lost weight. Then she lost fur, so that made her look thinner. And she did loose a little more weight, but I'm a bit confused about that. The scale said Stella was 11lbs and last I checked, she was 13lbs. I increased the amount of food she was getting when she got down to 13lbs, so how'd she get to 11lbs?

I think Ember got even more food-obsessed when we cut her back on food when she was overweight, but it seems my mom is just now focusing on this. I would argue that Ash is just as bad with food, but in other ways. My mom keeps saying Ember's always anxious and won't settle, but I like to think I know my cat pretty well and I don't think she's anxious just because she's affectionate and has a little more energy than the boys. My mom just thinks that every time Ember rubs on her she's either looking for food or in some sort of state. Not just looking for attention. She's gotten cold feet constantly throughout this summer and comes to us to warm her feet up on too. I'd still like to get her checked just in case, but I hate doing it to her.

I honestly haven't seen Old Tom in a few days at least. I see him every day for a little while and then he'll be gone for several days. Sometimes he seems out of it and others he seems back to normal. I've gone back and forth on what to do about him. I've considered trying to get him in a carrier and take him to a vet(on his bad days, it seems like I could probably do it), but I can't really afford to pay for that. I guess I can look into rescues, but the last time I tried to find a place to take possible ferals, I didn't have much luck. Most places won't just take cats off the streets. They don't want to take every potential outdoor cat in, I guess.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Would something here help for the old tomcat, in case you're not familiar with these?

(apologies for any dead links you may encounter);
Financial Assistance – Day By Day Caregiver Support Inc.

Financial Aid for Pets

No Money For Vet Care? How To Find Help And Save Your Cat's Life

 

[Animal Freak]

Hi!
Would something here help for the old tomcat, in case you're not familiar with these?

(apologies for any dead links you may encounter);
Financial Assistance – Day By Day Caregiver Support Inc.

Financial Aid for Pets

No Money For Vet Care? How To Find Help And Save Your Cat's Life

I'll look into them. Thank you.

 

[calicosrspecial]

That's fine. As long as you're alright. We can manage.

It's still really hard, but things are getting easier. My schedule is becoming more normal. My mom got a new job at home that she just started this week so I don't have to worry about leaving the dog every day. I'm getting quicker at my job and it isn't so tiring.

That cats have been driving us both crazy. And when I say cats, I mostly just mean Ash. My mom even got a spray bottle for when he gets on the counters. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not all that worried either. Ash isn't afraid of water. I don't even think she's been using it much. And I think your bread-loving cat came and told Ash about the wonders of bread because he gets into everything bready. My mom has had a bag of bread in her work bag twice and he's gotten into it to get it out. No clue how he even knew the bread was there. He ate on half of the banana bread my mom made. I think it goes without saying that was my half.

I don't know what to do. I still need to get the boys up to date on their shots for this year. Ember probably needs to be checked out again and was supposed to get dental work. The dog has been chewing and scratching at herself a lot lately and I don't know why. I've tried bathing her once and want to do it again. I can't afford to do all of it at once. My work doesn't give me much of a discount either. Mostly just if I need medication.

Ember's gotten a little too good at catching flies. She gets them on her first try fairly often. And there's been a lot of them. But I still think my mom is sort of over-observing her. She goes on and on about how thin Ember is, but she's really not that thin. She used to be overweight and had a loose flap of skin on top of that, but that skin disappeared when she lost weight. Then she lost fur, so that made her look thinner. And she did loose a little more weight, but I'm a bit confused about that. The scale said Stella was 11lbs and last I checked, she was 13lbs. I increased the amount of food she was getting when she got down to 13lbs, so how'd she get to 11lbs?

I think Ember got even more food-obsessed when we cut her back on food when she was overweight, but it seems my mom is just now focusing on this. I would argue that Ash is just as bad with food, but in other ways. My mom keeps saying Ember's always anxious and won't settle, but I like to think I know my cat pretty well and I don't think she's anxious just because she's affectionate and has a little more energy than the boys. My mom just thinks that every time Ember rubs on her she's either looking for food or in some sort of state. Not just looking for attention. She's gotten cold feet constantly throughout this summer and comes to us to warm her feet up on too. I'd still like to get her checked just in case, but I hate doing it to her.

I honestly haven't seen Old Tom in a few days at least. I see him every day for a little while and then he'll be gone for several days. Sometimes he seems out of it and others he seems back to normal. I've gone back and forth on what to do about him. I've considered trying to get him in a carrier and take him to a vet(on his bad days, it seems like I could probably do it), but I can't really afford to pay for that. I guess I can look into rescues, but the last time I tried to find a place to take possible ferals, I didn't have much luck. Most places won't just take cats off the streets. They don't want to take every potential outdoor cat in, I guess.

That is good. I know you can handle whatever comes your way. Congratulations to your mom, that is great!! Yes, getting more productive as you learn the job is great. Just keep working hard and doing your best and you'll do great.

Yep. Reminds me of my challenges. The key is to keep it really locked away. :/ My girl never listened so that was the only way I could get her to "behave". Funny thing is, she is on my lap now as sweet as pie (or banana bread!!!!).

I know, it is hard. I have been there many times. There are financial assistance sites as Furballsmom mentions. I know you will figure it out. Just don't stress. Just take one issue at a time and prioritize the most urgent/important.

My cats are good about that as well. Yes, we can over observe. That is easy to do. And worry. And cats are hard to weigh. Always look at how they are acting, walking, level of activity, using litter box, appetite, etc. You'll get a sense if something is not right.

Ember rubbing on your mom is most likely a sign of love and wanting to "own" your mom. To tell everyone that "she is mine". It really is a positive sign. I honestly think that is really cute and tells me Ember loves your mom.

Cats can get food obsessed when they are cut back on food because of weight control. So I see it with ferals all the time. As a cat thinks the future food source is more uncertain they will gobble everything up, over eat, look for more food, etc. When they are confident that food will be there when needed then they eat as they are hungry. This is actually on of the signs I try to observe to see what progress I am making with ferals.

You know animals and your instincts are very good so just trust what your feeling. If you think Ember has an issue then you'll get her in, I know you will do what is best.

Yes, it is very hard. And you have to have experience to handle a feral especially a sick or injured feral. I can do it because I have experience but I would rather you not do that. Personally, I don't like using Animal Control as that tends not to end well. But if rescues are not an option and doing it personally is not an option and a cat is suffering then Animal Control and the likely outcome may be most humane. It is really hard. It is a good sign he seems to do better some days. I wish I had good advice but not sure I really do. It is very hard..............

I would see if Alley Cat Allies has someone in your area that may have experience. Typically they know how to trap and help. They have a list of people "Feral Friends Network" or something like that. And sometimes contacting someone leads to someone that might lead to someone that can help. I would probably try that and see what might come of it. I always figure if we do our best and try at least we did everything we could.

 

[Animal Freak]

It's definitely gotten easier, but still hard. We'll get there. There've been a lot of changes lately, so it's going to be difficult.

Yes, but I can't seem to convince my mom of that. She's gotten better. We both have. But she just seems to expect them to behave even after eight years of having the boys. She says her cats were never like that, but they were indoor/outdoor cats, so it's no wonder they weren't like that. Ash is a rotten cat though.

I'm trying. I'm just not sure how to prioritize. Ember's unknown issue that doesn't seem to be affecting her much or the boys' shots? I'm not sure how worried I should be about their shots because I want to keep up on them and we do have ferals, but they don't go outside and they aren't door-darters. And it was surprisingly expensive when I took Ember and Stella in! I don't know how much they could've charged for Ember's check up since they didn't really do anything.

See, there's still no real changes in her behavior. Yes, she's food-obsessed and persistent and adorably obnoxious around food, but I really feel that started more around the time we cut her back on food. She got more and more desperate over time. She started off very highly food motivated too. And none of these things seem to line up. She became overly food-obsessed when she was still overweight, lost fur, then lost weight months after that. The fur loss began in winter I believe, so I don't know that she was catching flies at that point.

I just don't want to put off a vet trip and it end up being something serious. But if it was caused by stress, a trip to the vet surely wouldn't help.

Yes, I know. I don't really want to mess with him too much and stress him out when I don't know what I'm doing, but the thought crossed my mind. He just seemed so calm and quiet when I walked by that it really didn't seem like it would be hard to get him. I've really gone back and forth on what to do about him. Do I try to help him and potentially cause him a ton of unnecessary stress? Do I leave him be and let him live his life -- however long that may be --- in the place he knows? It's so hard. And on top of that he keeps disappearing on me. I'm always afraid I've seen him for the last time and then he shows up again. I do agree Animal Control can be the kinder option, but I hate to say it looks like our Animal Control has terrible reviews. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

I may have to take a look. I've gotten lists from them before, but I might need an updated one.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes, that is common. But as long as we all do our best and never give up we can overcome most things. I am confident you will get through things and find better times.

Some people get opinions and just can't budge off of them even with evidence that supports a different reality. Just human nature. But what we can do is continue to try to show the reality (in a respectful way). Cats are cats and have different personalities. I take them for who they are rather than what I want them to be. But not everyone does. Accepting then trying to improve things tend to be a better way. BUT we have to try in a respectful way to the other person.

I know I am not there but I don;t get a sense Ash is a "rotten" cat. He is a typical cat really. I know, I have an Ash. But he really is good hearted and loves you too. One thing we have to always be aware of is how our emotions can impact a cat's emotions/stress/behavior. It is easy to be unaware of how it can escalate. I have experienced it personally many times in my life but I have learned and tried to correct it. The stresses of life can come home with us and then filter into our relationships with our family (people and animals). But trying to be cognizant of how we feel towards others can be helpful so small things don't escalate into something bigger than it really should be. For example, I see a cat pee outside of a box. The cat is crying for help. The human thinks it is personal, spiteful. The human gets upset, treats the cat in a more difficult manner. The cat senses the changes and stress and it causes more peeing. And it escalates. understanding our potential emotional impact on the cat is a big step in de-escalating situations (most of the time). If that makes sense. I guess what i am trying to say is try to see all of Ash's positives and though we don't like all the things they do that are naughty, try not to let the naughtiness cloud all the good things away.

I know, it is hard. But you are smart and your thinking there is right. You are trying to figure it out and you are. You will make the right and best decisions. Trust your instincts, they are very good.

That is good (no changes in her behavior). Yes, there is nothing obvious. I have cats that LOVE to be very obnoxious with me and food. one will eat anything I am eating (at least want to as I don't give her things typically) while one will always be sniffing and butting in BUT NEVER actually eats what I have. But when food is reduced cats can increase their "obnoxiousness" with begging etc. And sometimes they do it without being cut back (my one girl - a different one - has been really, really begging with no cut back in food). It is hard to know. But don't stress, we;ll figure it out. My point is that Ember doesn't seem in obvious trouble. We have to observe her more to figure out what is really going on. If there were more signs of issues then it seems like it would be more urgent. But of course, things could be going on without us knowing. It is VERY hard. But vets miss things as well. It is not easy.

Totally agree. If money was not an issue a vet visit would be great. The vet may or may not catch something. But if we have to prioritize then we have to weigh odds and evidence etc. It is very hard. Tough decisions. But if the decision is made thoughtfully and with the best intentions then it is the best we can do. It isn't easy but I do think we are doing your best on how what the best decision is.

Well, you have to think of your personal safety first. Handling an injured or sick animal requires skill. A person has to be aware of what can happen. So that is why I think you should be more cautious. I know exactly what you are going through. It is very hard. All this grey area, on one hand on the other stuff. But if we analyze and make a well thought out decision then at least we can live with that. I would see if any experts (non Animal Control) are in your area. If not, then Animal Control and the likely outcome may be most humane. Suffering is not good either. It is awfully hard and sometimes awful decisions need to be made. And I am not sure there are right and wrong decisions. You just have to go with your heart and what you believe is best. None of us are perfect and we all make bad decisions and mistakes. But if we try our best with our heart in the right place and we learn then I guess we can try to move forward and make the world better in the future.

Yes, I would try their list (Alley Cat Allies). It is amazing how many great people are out there willing to help an animal (and human) in need. Hopefully you have someone in your area. Personally, I would exhaust that option first.

 

[Animal Freak]

Yes, I agree. Cats are all different and expecting them to be any way other than what they are is just setting you both up for failure. I had to learn to accept them and move on, but it certainly didn't take me quite as long to figure that out. Not to say they don't sometime gets on my nerves, but not as much.

This is true. You're right, of course. He's just rotten compared to how he used to be. He really wasn't this bad before! I think it's harder to focus on the good for me just because I've been so busy, so it seems like the bad fills up much more of the time than it really does. He is a good cat though. Just sometimes he makes it easy to forget that. I don't really know what to think though because I thought we were pass the worst of his peeing issues. We found a litter they all really seem to like and, since we've gotten it in all the litter boxes, they don't seem to favor boxes so much anymore. They're all used pretty heavily. We've been careful about not leaving towels on the floor and the like and Ash hadn't peed outside the litter box in a while. Until last night. He peed on a cat toy! I don't really know how to describe what it was. It was a curved thing they could sit on with a ball dangling from above. They liked to sit on it and sometimes play with it when they went a little crazy. It's gone now...

Now Stella is scratching like crazy and I don't know what to do about that... It's always something.

I've really been back and forth on the matter. I want to talk to the vet I work with, but I don't want to bug him when he has patients. I don't really know what I should be worried about and what I shouldn't. Ember's fur seems to coming back in a little, but not much. She was supposed to get dental work. Don't know how urgent that is. Stella's been itchy and scratching all the time. I've also noticed her getting these bubbles/foam at the edges of her nose on our morning walks.

Well, I saw Old Tom today! It had been a while. I wasn't sure if I was going to see him again. He seemed alright. Back to being wary of me, but he just sat on the other side of the street and watched us walk by after a moment contemplation. I wasn't close enough to see if his eyes were any better or worse. Still squinty, but that's nothing new.

 

[Furballsmom]

Well, I saw Old Tom today!

.

 

[Furballsmom]

She was supposed to get dental work. Don't know how urgent that is. Stella's been itchy and scratching all the time. I've also noticed her getting these bubbles/foam at the edges of her nose on our morning walks.

By the way, not to bust in, but if you are able to, can you talk to the vet about these things?

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes, I agree. Cats are all different and expecting them to be any way other than what they are is just setting you both up for failure. I had to learn to accept them and move on, but it certainly didn't take me quite as long to figure that out. Not to say they don't sometime gets on my nerves, but not as much.

This is true. You're right, of course. He's just rotten compared to how he used to be. He really wasn't this bad before! I think it's harder to focus on the good for me just because I've been so busy, so it seems like the bad fills up much more of the time than it really does. He is a good cat though. Just sometimes he makes it easy to forget that. I don't really know what to think though because I thought we were pass the worst of his peeing issues. We found a litter they all really seem to like and, since we've gotten it in all the litter boxes, they don't seem to favor boxes so much anymore. They're all used pretty heavily. We've been careful about not leaving towels on the floor and the like and Ash hadn't peed outside the litter box in a while. Until last night. He peed on a cat toy! I don't really know how to describe what it was. It was a curved thing they could sit on with a ball dangling from above. They liked to sit on it and sometimes play with it when they went a little crazy. It's gone now...

Now Stella is scratching like crazy and I don't know what to do about that... It's always something.

I've really been back and forth on the matter. I want to talk to the vet I work with, but I don't want to bug him when he has patients. I don't really know what I should be worried about and what I shouldn't. Ember's fur seems to coming back in a little, but not much. She was supposed to get dental work. Don't know how urgent that is. Stella's been itchy and scratching all the time. I've also noticed her getting these bubbles/foam at the edges of her nose on our morning walks.

Well, I saw Old Tom today! It had been a while. I wasn't sure if I was going to see him again. He seemed alright. Back to being wary of me, but he just sat on the other side of the street and watched us walk by after a moment contemplation. I wasn't close enough to see if his eyes were any better or worse. Still squinty, but that's nothing new.

Totally agree. Yes, I don;t worry about you. You understand.

Today, my girl is being especially bad. Trying to grab my breakfast, etc. I actually thought "I would swap Ash for her". I love her dearly but there are some times................

Oh my, I just read the next paragraph (with the peeing incident). Yes, when things change (bad things happen) even small amounts can seem big because they weren't as common before. Like my previous comment about my girl. It isn't all that bad in totality but today she just really annoyed me.

On the peeing, did anything happen before that? Any additional stress or negative encounter with Ember? Or was Ember playing with the toy? Sounds like Ash said "hey, this is mine" but it could have been stress driven. There usually is a reason but sometimes we can;t find it. Right now I am helping someone with a cat that pees outside of the box once in a while. Nothing obvious. I am frustrated so I can understand the frustration of the owner. And the frustration can cause stress and cause the cat to do it more. I am guessing something happened with Ember to cause Ash to do that. I hate when that happens to a toy cats love.

Is it possible that Ash is smelling other animals (cats and/or dogs) on your clothes? That can definitely cause insecurity and then behavioral issues.

It sounds like it is a little more stressful. I will say, I have been hearing from a lot of people in all areas of the country that people and animals are seeing more allergic issues. I have hearing that a lot. Something seems like it is going on. Poor Stella.

I know, it is very hard. Your instincts are great so trust them. Maybe just leave a note for the vet you work for saying "I know you are very busy but if it is possible and you have some time I would like to ask you some things about my animals. I don't know what I should be worried about and what not to be and wanted to get your expertise if at all possible". Something like that.

It is hard to know the balance of over concern and under concern, finding that right balance. But you are smart and you will figure it out. If resources were unlimited vet visits are always best but we have to prioritize sadly.

That is good. Keep trying to keep an eye on him. Let's hope he doesn't have issues or if he does someone can help.

Furballsmom, you are always welcome. Don't worry, you never "bust in". Your insight is always welcome!!

 

[Furballsmom]

Bless your heart, thank you!

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh about that toy, can you replace it?

Hauspanther might have something
Handmade Hanging Cat Toys to Replace the One Your Cat Destroyed

 

[Animal Freak]

Just to let you both know, I am reading these long before I actually respond. I usually get on on my phone once a day, but it's too much to type on my phone.

By the way, not to bust in, but if you are able to, can you talk to the vet about these things?

No worries about busting in. Seems like there's always something I need help with, so another mind can't hurt.

Yes, I want to. I was going to do it yesterday while I was working, but the clinic was really busy. I work again tomorrow, but I'm going to run late, so I'm not sure if I'm going to get the chance to ask or not. I do work Friday this week, so I should be able to ask at some point.

Oh about that toy, can you replace it?

Hauspanther might have something
Handmade Hanging Cat Toys to Replace the One Your Cat Destroyed

Maybe. I'll have to look. It was a gift, so no clue where it came from.

Totally agree. Yes, I don;t worry about you. You understand.

Today, my girl is being especially bad. Trying to grab my breakfast, etc. I actually thought "I would swap Ash for her". I love her dearly but there are some times................

Oh my, I just read the next paragraph (with the peeing incident). Yes, when things change (bad things happen) even small amounts can seem big because they weren't as common before. Like my previous comment about my girl. It isn't all that bad in totality but today she just really annoyed me.

On the peeing, did anything happen before that? Any additional stress or negative encounter with Ember? Or was Ember playing with the toy? Sounds like Ash said "hey, this is mine" but it could have been stress driven. There usually is a reason but sometimes we can;t find it. Right now I am helping someone with a cat that pees outside of the box once in a while. Nothing obvious. I am frustrated so I can understand the frustration of the owner. And the frustration can cause stress and cause the cat to do it more. I am guessing something happened with Ember to cause Ash to do that. I hate when that happens to a toy cats love.

Is it possible that Ash is smelling other animals (cats and/or dogs) on your clothes? That can definitely cause insecurity and then behavioral issues.

It sounds like it is a little more stressful. I will say, I have been hearing from a lot of people in all areas of the country that people and animals are seeing more allergic issues. I have hearing that a lot. Something seems like it is going on. Poor Stella.

I know, it is very hard. Your instincts are great so trust them. Maybe just leave a note for the vet you work for saying "I know you are very busy but if it is possible and you have some time I would like to ask you some things about my animals. I don't know what I should be worried about and what not to be and wanted to get your expertise if at all possible". Something like that.

It is hard to know the balance of over concern and under concern, finding that right balance. But you are smart and you will figure it out. If resources were unlimited vet visits are always best but we have to prioritize sadly.

That is good. Keep trying to keep an eye on him. Let's hope he doesn't have issues or if he does someone can help.

Furballsmom, you are always welcome. Don't worry, you never "bust in". Your insight is always welcome!!

Haha. Oh yeah, I'd take Ash when it comes to eating. Ember's the one that's bad about that! Just don't leave your banana bread out around Ash! He got it again!

I can't think of anything. He was actually in a good mood. He'd been playful and going a little crazy. I heard him meowing and walked by to see him by the cat toy. Then heard him scratching at it. And when I walked by, the smell hit me. It was a large amount, so doesn't seem like he's struggling to go. We did groom him to get some fur out of the way in case that's the problem. He's been getting along with Ember alright lately. Some minor incidents, but mostly ones where Ash stands up for himself and slaps back rather than any times where he runs from her. They tend to be shorter and less severe when Ash stands up for himself.

I'm sure Ash smells plenty of animals on me. The vet clinic I work at has three cats and I volunteered for the shelter twice over the weekend. But I've been working on the clinic for a bit now, so nothing really new there. And no cats at the shelter. I took dogs to a couple of events. Ash has never had a problem with any animals before. I hope he doesn't start now.

Seems like I'm the only one who's suffering from fewer allergies than normal! I've thought about just putting Stella on Benadryl as we have been told we can put her on that before, but I just hate medicating them. And that's something that's usually a last resort for myself, so it seems like a bit much to give to Stella. But she's driving me crazy with her itching, so I can only imagine how annoying it is for her. We've looked for fleas and haven't found any. The cats aren't scratching nearly as badly as she is, though Frost does have a scab under his chin that wasn't there the other day.

I did see Old Tom again today. He seems better. Still not close enough to check on his eyes, but his posture and body language seems more confident. He was on the porch of the cat house. There was a cat laying nearby and he got up and walked toward her. She took off immediately.

 

[Furballsmom]

No worries about busting in

thank you

I do work Friday this week, so I should be able to ask at some point.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Just to let you both know, I am reading these long before I actually respond. I usually get on on my phone once a day, but it's too much to type on my phone.



No worries about busting in. Seems like there's always something I need help with, so another mind can't hurt.

Yes, I want to. I was going to do it yesterday while I was working, but the clinic was really busy. I work again tomorrow, but I'm going to run late, so I'm not sure if I'm going to get the chance to ask or not. I do work Friday this week, so I should be able to ask at some point.



Maybe. I'll have to look. It was a gift, so no clue where it came from.



Haha. Oh yeah, I'd take Ash when it comes to eating. Ember's the one that's bad about that! Just don't leave your banana bread out around Ash! He got it again!

I can't think of anything. He was actually in a good mood. He'd been playful and going a little crazy. I heard him meowing and walked by to see him by the cat toy. Then heard him scratching at it. And when I walked by, the smell hit me. It was a large amount, so doesn't seem like he's struggling to go. We did groom him to get some fur out of the way in case that's the problem. He's been getting along with Ember alright lately. Some minor incidents, but mostly ones where Ash stands up for himself and slaps back rather than any times where he runs from her. They tend to be shorter and less severe when Ash stands up for himself.

I'm sure Ash smells plenty of animals on me. The vet clinic I work at has three cats and I volunteered for the shelter twice over the weekend. But I've been working on the clinic for a bit now, so nothing really new there. And no cats at the shelter. I took dogs to a couple of events. Ash has never had a problem with any animals before. I hope he doesn't start now.

Seems like I'm the only one who's suffering from fewer allergies than normal! I've thought about just putting Stella on Benadryl as we have been told we can put her on that before, but I just hate medicating them. And that's something that's usually a last resort for myself, so it seems like a bit much to give to Stella. But she's driving me crazy with her itching, so I can only imagine how annoying it is for her. We've looked for fleas and haven't found any. The cats aren't scratching nearly as badly as she is, though Frost does have a scab under his chin that wasn't there the other day.

I did see Old Tom again today. He seems better. Still not close enough to check on his eyes, but his posture and body language seems more confident. He was on the porch of the cat house. There was a cat laying nearby and he got up and walked toward her. She took off immediately.

Don;t worry, when you have a chance to respond is fine. Typing on a phone can't be easy.

At least Ash only like banana bread. My girl likes everything!!

Hmmmmmm. I wonder why he did it. It is something. Just think about what might have gone on before. It is good they are getting along better. Yes, when a cat stands up for themselves it tends to happen less typically. A confident cat is less likely to be attacked and also to attack.

Well, sometimes and intact male can cause issues. Keep an eye on it and see if there might be a link.

Interesting. I have heard people and animals having a much worse time lately. I am glad to hear you are not as affected!! Poor Stella. And Benadryl makes them tired. :/ Poor Frost. Maybe he was rubbing on something and scratched it.

That is good he looks better. Oh my, I wonder if he was territorial. Poor little kitty being chased away.