Hello,
I am really struggling. I lost my cat 7 months ago now, but feel I haven’t moved on much at all in terms of dealing with what’s happened and it’s really taking its toll on me physically and mentally (hair/weight loss and panic attacks). I have been meaning to post here for a while but haven’t been strong enough to get it out until now..
Im trying to keep this brief but its so multi faceted as tied up in hurt, doubts and guilt in many ways so Il try to be as clear as possible. I’d really appreciate honest opinions and any suggestions from anyone in the know (dr or a vet would be amazing).
* To save me rewriting the whole story; here’s my original thread (the story continues on page 2 of the thread), with me doubting things..
Struggling After Loss & Dealing With Guilt *
My reason for all this hurt very much lies in the fact that when I requested the vets notes after my cat was PTS to find out what had happened.. I was so upset at the wording. The vet states reasons for euthanasia suggestion- that she felt Sooty wouldn’t be stabilised easily or have a good quality of life but she also said “costs are a concern and she would need intensive care treatment to get through this”
At the time the vet recommended having her PTS, I was told fluid was building faster than they could drain it and she wasn’t progressing (although the notes state that her RR rate improved on lasix) but she was getting flatter and had pale mucous membranes etc and it was kinder to let her go. My partner asked if they could please do anything else to help her but the vet said “no, it’s kinder to let her go now”. So we did what we felt was right for Sooty, without further question or research as we believed she was passing away and there was no other choice. Let me point out, that I feel this vet is a good, kind lady, I didn’t doubt her effort or question her work, I think the euthanasia suggestion was for genuine reasons but maybe not the reasons I had wanted?
I contacted my vet very upset as I worried I had inadvertently made her thinks costs were an issue.
On the day at the original consultation, the vet said Sooty “didn’t sound too good”- she would guess a “mass or heart failure” but needed an X-Ray to find out. I cried because I worried Sooty had cancer or was simply getting old and near to passing- No heart issue was ever detected in her life and she didn’t seem like she was struggling to breathe at any point (I didn’t know exactly what ‘heart failure’ was at that point but thought that was irrelevant). I thought it’d maybe turn out to be cancer or an infection and I’d be returning to collect her that day, with some meds. She seemed fine that morning, perked up a lot from the eve before.. which makes this all the more surreal.
After agreeing to her X-Ray, I asked how much it was, I said “I’m sorry to make cost sound like a factor” (meaning, sorry to ask the price, it doesn’t mean I won’t be getting the X-Ray) but before I could finish about why I was asking the cost (wanted to know if I needed to bring credit card on my return to get Sooty), she interjected that cost was a factor and that Sooty was very old. I said “I didn’t mean it like that, I’d do anything for her”, but I never properly finished explaining as was keen to get Sooty checked ASAP. I now worry that she felt I meant that I wasn’t going to get the X-Ray if it was too much ££ or wasn’t that willing to pay over X amount for treatment.
When we spoke, she said she hadn’t misunderstood me at all- her and the nurses felt that I would do anything for her/could tell she was a loved cat (I had agreed to treatment and ICU stay after the thoracentesis request by phone). She said she had to make the call herself not to put her in ICU as she knew I was going to do anything and I’d have spent a lot of money but she felt it’d be the same outcome. She felt Sooty was passing when we were on the way to have her PTS, or would’ve passed within 1-2 days in ICU.
She said the wording ‘costs a concern’ was something she sometimes writes for people that don’t have insurance (we didn’t have insurance by choice as Sooty’s age and existing condition, preferred to use credit card or savings for treatments. But in order to have treatment, you are asked if you have insurance before signing the form) or could’ve been a mistake when writing notes later on, having forgotten all the details.
Her response seemed genuine but now I am so caught up in trying to solve what happened, if my baby would have made it had I asked more/pushed for more monitoring or stressed the fact that I’d be willing to pay anything. I am so upset with myself for asking the cost, as I feel this has cost my baby her life. The vet only gave us 1 option- to put to sleep. Had she given us the option for ICU treatment, we would’ve paid anything! She was my baby for 17 years, I am so distraught.
Since the terrible day Sooty was PTS, I have been trying to solve what happened as her case seemed different to other cases of HCM/CHF (Heart Disease causing heart wall thickening / Congestive heart failure- pleural effusion)
Wondering why every case I read/info online shows cats surviving and being treated for CHF. Even cats that seem to present in a much worse respiratory distressed state than Sooty.
Upon consultation, Sooty had a slightly low temp (36.2oC), normal range heart rate and increased respiratory rate (52). She had an x-ray and thoracentesis- vet notes either fibrin or mass as difficult to remove fluid. Ultrasound confirmed some fluid pockets, pleural fluid was blood tinged and foamy; but not tested. Ultrasound confirmed pockets of fluid and thickened heart (hcm caused by her *treated for 18 months* hyperthyroidism most likely) I’ve done so much research I’ve driven myself a bit crazy-
**May need to be a Dr to understand this lot?** seems to be a ‘located pleural effusion’, (pockets either caused by infection or by the pleural space becoming inflamed, causing ‘modified transudate’ and later causing pockets to form)??
I have copies of her thyroid blood test from November 2017 (approx 4 months before she was PTS)- her thyroid and liver values all within normal ranges.
White blood cell count- all low.. tech stated to check for leukopenia (I didn’t know this)
Platelet count- low
(She was on thyronorm oral solution for thyroid- I’ve read that can cause low wbc?)
When she went in for a dental under anaesthetic after this blood test (Nov 2017), the results threw up low platelets. But seemed fine on slide. All other results were apparently fine.
If anyone has managed to make it this far, thank you so much and any comments would be a great help to me. I feel I can’t approach my vet to ask anymore about why this case is different to any others I’ve read about. All I want is come closure or theory as to what happened.
If anyone has any medical knowledge and can comment on the results or what happened, I’d appreciate it.
Thank you
I am really struggling. I lost my cat 7 months ago now, but feel I haven’t moved on much at all in terms of dealing with what’s happened and it’s really taking its toll on me physically and mentally (hair/weight loss and panic attacks). I have been meaning to post here for a while but haven’t been strong enough to get it out until now..
Im trying to keep this brief but its so multi faceted as tied up in hurt, doubts and guilt in many ways so Il try to be as clear as possible. I’d really appreciate honest opinions and any suggestions from anyone in the know (dr or a vet would be amazing).
* To save me rewriting the whole story; here’s my original thread (the story continues on page 2 of the thread), with me doubting things..
Struggling After Loss & Dealing With Guilt *
My reason for all this hurt very much lies in the fact that when I requested the vets notes after my cat was PTS to find out what had happened.. I was so upset at the wording. The vet states reasons for euthanasia suggestion- that she felt Sooty wouldn’t be stabilised easily or have a good quality of life but she also said “costs are a concern and she would need intensive care treatment to get through this”
At the time the vet recommended having her PTS, I was told fluid was building faster than they could drain it and she wasn’t progressing (although the notes state that her RR rate improved on lasix) but she was getting flatter and had pale mucous membranes etc and it was kinder to let her go. My partner asked if they could please do anything else to help her but the vet said “no, it’s kinder to let her go now”. So we did what we felt was right for Sooty, without further question or research as we believed she was passing away and there was no other choice. Let me point out, that I feel this vet is a good, kind lady, I didn’t doubt her effort or question her work, I think the euthanasia suggestion was for genuine reasons but maybe not the reasons I had wanted?
I contacted my vet very upset as I worried I had inadvertently made her thinks costs were an issue.
On the day at the original consultation, the vet said Sooty “didn’t sound too good”- she would guess a “mass or heart failure” but needed an X-Ray to find out. I cried because I worried Sooty had cancer or was simply getting old and near to passing- No heart issue was ever detected in her life and she didn’t seem like she was struggling to breathe at any point (I didn’t know exactly what ‘heart failure’ was at that point but thought that was irrelevant). I thought it’d maybe turn out to be cancer or an infection and I’d be returning to collect her that day, with some meds. She seemed fine that morning, perked up a lot from the eve before.. which makes this all the more surreal.
After agreeing to her X-Ray, I asked how much it was, I said “I’m sorry to make cost sound like a factor” (meaning, sorry to ask the price, it doesn’t mean I won’t be getting the X-Ray) but before I could finish about why I was asking the cost (wanted to know if I needed to bring credit card on my return to get Sooty), she interjected that cost was a factor and that Sooty was very old. I said “I didn’t mean it like that, I’d do anything for her”, but I never properly finished explaining as was keen to get Sooty checked ASAP. I now worry that she felt I meant that I wasn’t going to get the X-Ray if it was too much ££ or wasn’t that willing to pay over X amount for treatment.
When we spoke, she said she hadn’t misunderstood me at all- her and the nurses felt that I would do anything for her/could tell she was a loved cat (I had agreed to treatment and ICU stay after the thoracentesis request by phone). She said she had to make the call herself not to put her in ICU as she knew I was going to do anything and I’d have spent a lot of money but she felt it’d be the same outcome. She felt Sooty was passing when we were on the way to have her PTS, or would’ve passed within 1-2 days in ICU.
She said the wording ‘costs a concern’ was something she sometimes writes for people that don’t have insurance (we didn’t have insurance by choice as Sooty’s age and existing condition, preferred to use credit card or savings for treatments. But in order to have treatment, you are asked if you have insurance before signing the form) or could’ve been a mistake when writing notes later on, having forgotten all the details.
Her response seemed genuine but now I am so caught up in trying to solve what happened, if my baby would have made it had I asked more/pushed for more monitoring or stressed the fact that I’d be willing to pay anything. I am so upset with myself for asking the cost, as I feel this has cost my baby her life. The vet only gave us 1 option- to put to sleep. Had she given us the option for ICU treatment, we would’ve paid anything! She was my baby for 17 years, I am so distraught.
Since the terrible day Sooty was PTS, I have been trying to solve what happened as her case seemed different to other cases of HCM/CHF (Heart Disease causing heart wall thickening / Congestive heart failure- pleural effusion)
Wondering why every case I read/info online shows cats surviving and being treated for CHF. Even cats that seem to present in a much worse respiratory distressed state than Sooty.
Upon consultation, Sooty had a slightly low temp (36.2oC), normal range heart rate and increased respiratory rate (52). She had an x-ray and thoracentesis- vet notes either fibrin or mass as difficult to remove fluid. Ultrasound confirmed some fluid pockets, pleural fluid was blood tinged and foamy; but not tested. Ultrasound confirmed pockets of fluid and thickened heart (hcm caused by her *treated for 18 months* hyperthyroidism most likely) I’ve done so much research I’ve driven myself a bit crazy-
**May need to be a Dr to understand this lot?** seems to be a ‘located pleural effusion’, (pockets either caused by infection or by the pleural space becoming inflamed, causing ‘modified transudate’ and later causing pockets to form)??
I have copies of her thyroid blood test from November 2017 (approx 4 months before she was PTS)- her thyroid and liver values all within normal ranges.
White blood cell count- all low.. tech stated to check for leukopenia (I didn’t know this)
Platelet count- low
(She was on thyronorm oral solution for thyroid- I’ve read that can cause low wbc?)
When she went in for a dental under anaesthetic after this blood test (Nov 2017), the results threw up low platelets. But seemed fine on slide. All other results were apparently fine.
If anyone has managed to make it this far, thank you so much and any comments would be a great help to me. I feel I can’t approach my vet to ask anymore about why this case is different to any others I’ve read about. All I want is come closure or theory as to what happened.
If anyone has any medical knowledge and can comment on the results or what happened, I’d appreciate it.
Thank you