I got this in an e-mail, and thought it was too good not to share!!!!
CUSTOMER SERVICE :
> >
> > This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard. I think this guy
> > should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the
> > WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording
> > monitoring in the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help
> > Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
> > WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual
> > dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I
> > know why they record these conversations!)
> >
> > "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
> >
> > "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >
> > "What sort of trouble?"
> >
> > "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
> > words went away."
> >
> > "Went away?"
> >
> > "They disappeared."
> >
> > "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >
> > "Nothing."
> >
> > "Nothing?"
> >
> > "It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> >
> > "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> >
> > "How do I tell?"
> >
> > "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> >
> > "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >
> > "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> >
> > "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
> > type."
> >
> > "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> >
> > "What's a monitor?"
> >
> > "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."
> >
> > "Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
> >
> > "I don't know."
> >
> > "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
> > cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> >
> > "Yes, I think so."
> >
> > Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> > plugged into the wall."
> >
> > "Yes, it is."
> >
> > When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> > cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> > "No."
> >
> > "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
> > and find the! other cable."
> >
> > "Okay, here it is."
> >
> > "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
> > into the back of your computer."
> >
> > "I can't reach."
> >
> > "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> > "No."
> >
> > "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> >
> > "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
> > it's because it's dark."
> >
> > "Dark?"
> >
> > "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
> > in from the window."
> >
> > "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >
> > "I can't."
> >
> > "No? Why not?"
> >
> > "Because there's a power failure."
> >
> > "A power............a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked.
> > Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
> > computer came in?"
> >
> > "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> >
> > "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
> > it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
> > from."
> >
> > "Really? Is it that bad?"
> >
> > "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >
> > "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> >
> > "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
CUSTOMER SERVICE :
> >
> > This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard. I think this guy
> > should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the
> > WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording
> > monitoring in the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help
> > Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
> > WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual
> > dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I
> > know why they record these conversations!)
> >
> > "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
> >
> > "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >
> > "What sort of trouble?"
> >
> > "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
> > words went away."
> >
> > "Went away?"
> >
> > "They disappeared."
> >
> > "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >
> > "Nothing."
> >
> > "Nothing?"
> >
> > "It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> >
> > "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> >
> > "How do I tell?"
> >
> > "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> >
> > "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >
> > "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> >
> > "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
> > type."
> >
> > "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> >
> > "What's a monitor?"
> >
> > "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."
> >
> > "Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
> >
> > "I don't know."
> >
> > "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
> > cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> >
> > "Yes, I think so."
> >
> > Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
> > plugged into the wall."
> >
> > "Yes, it is."
> >
> > When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
> > cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
> > "No."
> >
> > "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
> > and find the! other cable."
> >
> > "Okay, here it is."
> >
> > "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
> > into the back of your computer."
> >
> > "I can't reach."
> >
> > "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> > "No."
> >
> > "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
> >
> > "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
> > it's because it's dark."
> >
> > "Dark?"
> >
> > "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
> > in from the window."
> >
> > "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >
> > "I can't."
> >
> > "No? Why not?"
> >
> > "Because there's a power failure."
> >
> > "A power............a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked.
> > Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
> > computer came in?"
> >
> > "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> >
> > "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
> > it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
> > from."
> >
> > "Really? Is it that bad?"
> >
> > "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >
> > "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> >
> > "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."