Sebastian, the feline love of my life

angels mommy

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Oh, Darlin.  What a special boy he was!  I am so, so sorry that you are going through this.  I did ok with the video till the shot of you holding him, and now I'm in tears.

Rest you gentle, Sebastian, dream you deep.
YUP! I was already crying, but that really got me at the end. I could feel it, I know it all too well. 
 

tamu708

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I'm so sorry for your loss.  Sebastian was a sweet, adorable boy.  RIP Sebastian 
.
 

mrsgreenjeens

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OMG Nicole
.  I am just reading this and am SO very sorry to learn about Sebastian.  Your Tribute to him is amazing and certainly shows the depth of your love for him.  You did so much for him, particularly these last few years...I was always in awe when reading your threads on how far you went to figure out which foods he could tolerate, which meds to give etc.  Never question whether you could have done more.  He was obviously a very happy little guy. 

Hopefully Caesar "heals" soon.  Darko is grieving too (for Callie).  He rarely gets in my lap anymore, and I miss that terribly.  Just today he went looking for her in all her hiding places.  Odd, really, because they never seemed to get along.  How's Boo taking it?

Again, my condolences.  Run free
Sebastian
 

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What a beautiful tribute full of love.   In tears for you as I listen to that little meow.  May your pain fade as your memories of Sebastian continue to wrap around you and your heart.  
  
 

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I am so very sorry.  I don't come into this forum as often as I should so I just now am seeing this.  You did everything possible for your handsome boy and made his final years happy ones that were filled with love and care.
 
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goholistic

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OMG Nicole
.  I am just reading this and am SO very sorry to learn about Sebastian.  Your Tribute to him is amazing and certainly shows the depth of your love for him.  You did so much for him, particularly these last few years...I was always in awe when reading your threads on how far you went to figure out which foods he could tolerate, which meds to give etc.  Never question whether you could have done more.  He was obviously a very happy little guy. 

Hopefully Caesar "heals" soon.  Darko is grieving too (for Callie).  He rarely gets in my lap anymore, and I miss that terribly.  Just today he went looking for her in all her hiding places.  Odd, really, because they never seemed to get along.  How's Boo taking it?

Again, my condolences.  Run free
Sebastian
Thank you, Sally.  Unfortunately, Caesar is not doing well and I've had to start syringe-feeding. 
  I'm not ready to lose another kitty again so soon! We don't know what's going on with him. Boo is doing okay. He adapts well.
 
What a beautiful tribute full of love.   In tears for you as I listen to that little meow.  May your pain fade as your memories of Sebastian continue to wrap around you and your heart.  
  
 
I am so very sorry.  I don't come into this forum as often as I should so I just now am seeing this.  You did everything possible for your handsome boy and made his final years happy ones that were filled with love and care.
Thank you, MServant and Denice. He did have the cutest little meow, and I miss hearing it.
 

Mamanyt1953

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What an elegant profile!  And the pink of your pj bottoms sets off his fur to perfection.  Take it in your own time, and in your own way.  This I will tell you, not only do each of us grieve differently, but each of use grieves each loss differently.  This one, for you, is profound.  Be so very kind to yourself right now. 
 
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mrsgreenjeens

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Quote:
 
Hopefully Caesar "heals" soon. 
Thank you, Sally.  Unfortunately, Caesar is not doing well and I've had to start syringe-feeding. 
  I'm not ready to lose another kitty again so soon! We don't know what's going on with him. Boo is doing okay. He adapts well.
I just finished re-reading your thread about Caesar's health issues from 2014.  He bounced back then.  Are his issues now related to grieving, or are they health related, or maybe a little of both?   If health, I know if there is a way, you'll find it, even in your despair over Sebastian!!!

 

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Beautiful, touching tribute to an amazing boy. I am so so so sorry for your loss. Its so heart breaking to lose a friend. Sebastian was a very lucky cat to have you. Thank you for sharing his life with us.
 

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That tribute................................. :bawling: :rbheart: ................................... beautiful. With eyes filled with tears, I extend my deepest and most sincere condolences on your HUGE loss of "Bastie". He was one strong and stoic kitty throughout all of his health ordeals, for sure. It was the love/bond you both shared that kept him in the fight to carry on as long as he could. I do completely and utterly from the bottom of my heart understand the pain and loss your are enduring this week. There surely are those "special ones", the ones who touch us like none other. I try to look back at how much they taught me, and how much love they brought into my life and that I was ONE lucky girl to have "that special one" gifted into my life. You were blessed to have found Sebastian that day in 2010 in the shelter. A incredible love story to unfold. :heart3: I know how well you cared for him during his illnesses and he could not have had a better meowmy in the whole wide world. Nope, you were a pair meant to be together, through thick and thin. Losing our little loves just hurts like no other and I will keep you in my prayers, hun. And adding in some more for your little Caesar.

FLY FREELY - Sebastian :rbheart: :angel: I know you will be visiting your mom in her dreams and will show her little signs that you are forever with her, just in a different way....... :rbheart: :Shooting Star: :rbheart:
 

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I am so very sorry to hear about Sebastian, GoHolistic! He was a handsome cat and obviously much loved. (Not to mention very fortunate!) I've learned a lot from your posts about his illness and feeding, thank you.
 
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goholistic

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What an elegant profile!  And the pink of your pj bottoms sets off his fur to perfection.  Take it in your own time, and in your own way.  This I will tell you, not only do each of us grieve differently, but each of use grieves each loss differently.  This one, for you, is profound.  Be so very kind to yourself right now. 
Thanks. I'm trying!
 
I just finished re-reading your thread about Caesar's health issues from 2014.  He bounced back then.  Are his issues now related to grieving, or are they health related, or maybe a little of both?   If health, I know if there is a way, you'll find it, even in your despair over Sebastian!!!

Well, we're not 100%, but we're leaning more towards grief. He's had two rounds of physical exams, comprehensive blood work and urinalyses in a three-week time frame and nothing alarming there. In the event that it was something medical with related discomfort, we tried Cerenia, mirtazapine, Pepcid, buprenorphine, and sub-q fluids without it making one bit of difference. (When Sebastian wasn't feeling well, all these things made him feel SO much better.) We're trying some natural grief/depression aids now, and we'll move on to a prescription antidepressant if they don't help. He hates being syringe-fed, so it's adding to his stress.  
  But it has to be done!

Thank you, @Inanna, @Feralvr, and @LisaHE, for your kind words.

Lauren, you are right that he loved life and wanted to fight as long as he could. This is part of the reason why making the decision to let him go was so hard. Most people say at the end that their kitty had had enough and they were ready to be at peace. I felt that Sebastian wanted to stay. He didn't want to leave me. He wanted to get better, but couldn't. The vet gave him enough sedative (prior to euthanasia) for a 60 lb dog, and he was still trying to fight it. But I didn't have the magic remedy to fix it this time, and he was suffering.

I'm really missing him today. I used to look forward to Friday nights to spend time with him without feeling rushed to go to bed or get up for work. I could relax, have a glass of wine, and hang out with my kitties and give Sebastian all the attention he desired.
 

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Aww, I think that's a sign for us all who are in this place of grieving right now. Thank you so much for sharing. That's really touching.
 

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Lauren, you are right that he loved life and wanted to fight as long as he could. This is part of the reason why making the decision to let him go was so hard. Most people say at the end that their kitty had had enough and they were ready to be at peace. I felt that Sebastian wanted to stay. He didn't want to leave me. He wanted to get better, but couldn't. The vet gave him enough sedative (prior to euthanasia) for a 60 lb dog, and he was still trying to fight it. But I didn't have the magic remedy to fix it this time, and he was suffering.

I'm really missing him today. I used to look forward to Friday nights to spend time with him without feeling rushed to go to bed or get up for work. I could relax, have a glass of wine, and hang out with my kitties and give Sebastian all the attention he desired.
:touch: :sniffle: :touch: :hugs: What you said really tugged at my heart strings and I could feel them pull.... :bawling: It is SOOOOO true that sometimes they do fight, that they do want to stay. Their minds are strong, stoic, sane and their love so deep that they do not want to leave you. Mostly, for US, not for them. That is why they want to stay, for us. :bawling: Animals do not fear death, they actually embrace it, it is natural and the way of life, normal to them. They fight for us.... :heart3: BUT, I also do think they feel and wantt more time with the ones whom they love more than their own life. It just sucks when they are so ill and their body just can't keep up with their healthy mind. Breaks my heart over and over again. I remember, though, when my Wilbur dog, JRT, whom I miss everyday of my life, was set free in our home, on our bed, he left SO quickly even after the initial sleeping injection. He was ready. So ready. He fought long and hard to stay with me. I did get the most amazing gift and messages from him shortly, immediately after his death though, so I just knew that he was in a better place but will always be by my side and in my heart, as my little love spirit. I do hope that Sebastian sends you messages and he may have already.

p.s. I, too, love those special evenings sitting, relaxing (with a glass of wine too ;)), and just petting my cats, talking to them, and loving on them. Darn....... :shame:, the time just goes by way too fast and they seem to age too quickly. I hate the heartache that I know will eventually come. It is the price our hearts pay BUT I would have it no other way in life. They make me whole.......

Hang in there, hun. :vibes: :hugs: :vibes:
 
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angels mommy

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What you said really tugged at my heart strings and I could feel them pull....
It is SOOOOO true that sometimes they do fight, that they do want to stay. Their minds are strong, stoic, sane and their love so deep that they do not want to leave you. Mostly, for US, not for them. That is why they want to stay, for us.
Animals do not fear death, they actually embrace it, it is natural and the way of life, normal to them. They fight for us....
BUT, I also do think they feel and wantt more time with the ones whom they love more than their own life. It just sucks when they are so ill and their body just can't keep up with their healthy mind. Breaks my heart over and over again. I remember, though, when my Wilbur dog, JRT, whom I miss everyday of my life, was set free in our home, on our bed, he left SO quickly even after the initial sleeping injection. He was ready. So ready. He fought long and hard to stay with me. I did get the most amazing gift and messages from him shortly, immediately after his death though, so I just knew that he was in a better place but will always be by my side and in my heart, as my little love spirit. I do hope that Sebastian sends you messages and he may have already.

p.s. I, too, love those special evenings sitting, relaxing (with a glass of wine too
), and just petting my cats, talking to them, and loving on them. Darn.......
, the time just goes by way too fast and they seem to age too quickly. I hate the heartache that I know will eventually come. It is the price our hearts pay BUT I would have it no other way in life. They make me whole.......

Hang in there, hun.
Ok Lauren, Now my eyes are tearing up too. Missing my baby as well. (It's really hard when he was my one & only).  Time does go too fast.
 

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I'm also so sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing your beautiful furry baby. I had 3 cats and 2 died 2 days a part. I am left with 1 and i kiss him everyday. I still cry everyday. Big hugs.
 
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What you said really tugged at my heart strings and I could feel them pull....
It is SOOOOO true that sometimes they do fight, that they do want to stay. Their minds are strong, stoic, sane and their love so deep that they do not want to leave you. Mostly, for US, not for them. That is why they want to stay, for us.
Animals do not fear death, they actually embrace it, it is natural and the way of life, normal to them. They fight for us....
BUT, I also do think they feel and wantt more time with the ones whom they love more than their own life. It just sucks when they are so ill and their body just can't keep up with their healthy mind. Breaks my heart over and over again. I remember, though, when my Wilbur dog, JRT, whom I miss everyday of my life, was set free in our home, on our bed, he left SO quickly even after the initial sleeping injection. He was ready. So ready. He fought long and hard to stay with me. I did get the most amazing gift and messages from him shortly, immediately after his death though, so I just knew that he was in a better place but will always be by my side and in my heart, as my little love spirit. I do hope that Sebastian sends you messages and he may have already.

p.s. I, too, love those special evenings sitting, relaxing (with a glass of wine too
), and just petting my cats, talking to them, and loving on them. Darn.......
, the time just goes by way too fast and they seem to age too quickly. I hate the heartache that I know will eventually come. It is the price our hearts pay BUT I would have it no other way in life. They make me whole.......

Hang in there, hun.
 
 
   Thanks Lauren. Yes, exactly. It seemed that his mind wanted to stay, but his body could no longer hang on. I'm glad that Wilbur sent you messages.  
  I have not gotten any from Sebastian, yet, so I hope that's just because he's too busy exploring his "new world"!  


I didn't share this in my original post, but I'm so grateful that the vet that oversaw Sebastian's care was the one who called me back immediately after I left a message on their after-hours emergency line. Her and her husband (the owners of the practice) rushed over to the clinic to meet me and my s/o with Sebastian. She already knew Sebastian's history and his struggles these past three years, so she already had the "big picture" versus someone who didn't know Sebastian at all, and she could be very honest with me knowing what she knew. She said if I took him home and tried to treat him, he had a 75% chance of suffering for the next 24 hours and would likely have to be euthanized or he would die on his own. In the 25% chance that he survives, the best she could get him would be how he was a week prior when I brought him into the vet. Well, the reason I brought him to the vet the week before was because he wasn't doing well, his other issues were advancing, and his quality of life was being affected. That seemed to make it clear to me what I needed to do. I remember my mind racing, calculating his chances of survival like a math problem, and tossing around scenarios in my head with if/then conditional statements and yes/no Boolean logic. Emotion had taken a back seat for that very brief moment to me the strength to decide to take away Sebastian's pain.
 
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goholistic

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Ok Lauren, Now my eyes are tearing up too. Missing my baby as well. (It's really hard when he was my one & only).  Time does go too fast.
Yes, I can only imagine it is very difficult to lose your one and only. You and Angel were two peas in a pod. 
 
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goholistic

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I'm also so sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing your beautiful furry baby. I had 3 cats and 2 died 2 days a part. I am left with 1 and i kiss him everyday. I still cry everyday. Big hugs.
Thank you for your support. I'm so sorry about two of your kitties dying in such a short time frame. It's bad enough losing one, but I really feel for those who lose more than one at any given time.
 
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