Sebastian, the feline love of my life

angels mommy

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Aww, I love that poem. It really says it all.
It made me tear up a little. I cant believe that this Thursday will be 3 months that Angel has been gone already!
 

roguethecat

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that poem sure hits the spot... I just caught me yesterday wishing the Rogue had bitten me more, so I would at least have some visible scars from him on my body (but he only nicked, making sure that I knew it was a bad time to grab him - unless placing him in front of food). Instead I got no scars, but low stomach acid 


The only thing keeping me sane is imagining him somewhere, not here, but as usual incredibly busy and very happy. Maybe - if Sebastian doesn't mind his butt sniffed at occasionally - they are friends now
 

angels mommy

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Aww, that is so sweet. I know what you mean. Angel was so sweet, he never scratched me, but I do have one old scar from him. Back in the earlier years, I was holding him on the couch, & I started to rewind something on the vcr, & when he heard the sound, he freaked out, & tried to get away. Not knowing back then that I should have just let him go, I tried to hold him & tell him "it's ok."
As a result, I have a scratch scar on the inside of my right bicept.
 
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goholistic

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It may be a well known poem but that is because it says what so many feel @GoHolistic.  

6 weeks is hardly any time at all when coming to terms with loosing a cat you love, and have devoted so much care to in the hope of keeping him comfortable and well.   Allow your self all the time you need, and until you find that quiet space in your home feels less painful to be around.  Sebastian may not be chattering away for all to hear but he is in your heart and you will always hear him there.  
  
Thanks. 
  Ain't that the truth. I feel like I don't know what to do with my life now that I'm not taking care of Sebastian! 
  I've been trying to catch up with things I hadn't been able to get to in a long time, like doctors appointments and house chores that I'd been putting off.
 
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goholistic

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Aww, I love that poem. It really says it all.
It made me tear up a little. I cant believe that this Thursday will be 3 months that Angel has been gone already!
Yes, it made me tear up, too. 
  Time sure does fly, Kelly. I still keep expecting Sebastian to jump up on the bed at night for his evening brushing.
 
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goholistic

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that poem sure hits the spot... I just caught me yesterday wishing the Rogue had bitten me more, so I would at least have some visible scars from him on my body (but he only nicked, making sure that I knew it was a bad time to grab him - unless placing him in front of food). Instead I got no scars, but low stomach acid 


The only thing keeping me sane is imagining him somewhere, not here, but as usual incredibly busy and very happy. Maybe - if Sebastian doesn't mind his butt sniffed at occasionally - they are friends now
The scars may fade, but what you have is a fond memory of the Rogue nicking.  
  I could never get Sebastian to nip me even if I tried! He never hissed or bit or swatted. He was such a chill, lovey cat....the king of affection. With that said, Sebastian wouldn't mind the butt-sniff at all. My other two occasionally did that to him, and he'd stop walking almost as to let them do it. LOL. 
  As long as he's getting attention and love in some way...that's all he ever wanted. 
 
 
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goholistic

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Yes, I know how you feel. Thats good you are keeping busy. It does help!
I've been doing that too.
Yes, it does. I had a particularly difficult day yesterday, however. I was doing a lot of house cleaning and wash (it was a miserable weekend and a good time to stay in). I think I have been subconsciously putting it off and making excuses. It brought back memories, which I knew it would. I used to kiss Sebastian whenever I walked past him going from room to room. He would often "help" me change the sheets on the bed and file my paperwork (by sitting on it, of course). He used to like to be lint-rolled. 
  He HATED the vacuum, though, and used to take off running. Admittedly, I hadn't vacuumed in some time because I started to avoid everything and anything that stressed him. If not vacuuming meant he was a happier cat with a better quality of life in those last few months, then so be it. He made the rules. 
 

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 'If not vacuuming meant he was a happier cat with a better quality of life in those last few months, then so be it. He made the rules.  
'


Totally get that, even without any health worries I still find myself thinking 'where's Mouse, what's he doing. Ah, best wait a while.'  
    Tell my self it's being considerate and not making excuses.  Hmmm.   But when there's a sick cat about you do anything to keep them comfy and calm.  I am definitely not the one who sets the rules in my home.    My place was a total fur-zone when Pal was off her paws, and her fur was falling out like crazy those last few days so when I say fur-zone it was serious stuff.   I don't remember cleaning it up though, I suspect I kept that fur around me for quite a while, despite not being able to see the design on the rug or move without it flying in the air.

Busy is definitely best.   I'd get through my days at work then cry on the way home.  Stayed out as much as possible, and went away weekends and for holidays as much as I could when I didn't have a cat to come home to.       
 

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Yes, it does. I had a particularly difficult day yesterday, however. I was doing a lot of house cleaning and wash (it was a miserable weekend and a good time to stay in). I think I have been subconsciously putting it off and making excuses. It brought back memories, which I knew it would. I used to kiss Sebastian whenever I walked past him going from room to room. He would often "help" me change the sheets on the bed and file my paperwork (by sitting on it, of course). He used to like to be lint-rolled. 
  He HATED the vacuum, though, and used to take off running. Admittedly, I hadn't vacuumed in some time because I started to avoid everything and anything that stressed him. If not vacuuming meant he was a happier cat with a better quality of life in those last few months, then so be it. He made the rules. 
me, too! still have to do all those chores I didn't have time for when nursing the Rogue... yesterday I had to make jewelry for my sister's birthday, only to find the Rogue had conscientiously peed on all the boxes I keep my jewelry supplies in. He liked to do that, and I used to wipe every single one of them and hope that was it. The last time I had to make jewelry was for Christmas so the Rogue had plenty of time to repair his scent 


The Rogue, too, loved the Changing of the Sheets (he would joyfully jump on, be in the way, catch whatever he could and bite into it). No chance of lint-rolling him, though. It was hard enough trying to brush him (he would catch the brush and bite into it), and usually I just ran my hands over him to detect any burrs. If there were burrs, we would struggle over getting them out. The Rogue, too, made the rules (and I used persistence to bend them whenever possible) 
 
 

angels mommy

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Yes, it does. I had a particularly difficult day yesterday, however. I was doing a lot of house cleaning and wash (it was a miserable weekend and a good time to stay in). I think I have been subconsciously putting it off and making excuses. It brought back memories, which I knew it would. I used to kiss Sebastian whenever I walked past him going from room to room. He would often "help" me change the sheets on the bed and file my paperwork (by sitting on it, of course). He used to like to be lint-rolled. 
  He HATED the vacuum, though, and used to take off running. Admittedly, I hadn't vacuumed in some time because I started to avoid everything and anything that stressed him. If not vacuuming meant he was a happier cat with a better quality of life in those last few months, then so be it. He made the rules. 
I'm sorry you had a bad day. 
 I know how that can be!  I know what you mean about having put some things off. I think it was over a month before I washed all of Angel's beds. If they smelled like him, I'm not sure I would have, but they didn't anymore. In the end, he didn't even smell like himself anymore, & that was so sad to me.
 Damn chemo!!  I used to kiss Angel ALL of the time too! I miss that!  However, the clients house I was at today is the one w/ the Golden Retriever, (big sweetie!)  & an orange & white kitty. By time I got upstairs to clean, he was curled up on their bed, so I had to go give him some love'ns, scritches, & kisses. It was nice to do that again! He's a sweet boy too. 
 
 

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I can not stop crying after seeing your video, and your beautiful post for your beloved Sebastian.I totally understand how deeply you loved and cherished him. I have lost too many precious kitties over the years.The love of an animal is one of the most wonderful,and beautiful feelings we can have in this life. Sebastian loved you and knew in his heart that you would do anything for him. He will always have that special place within your heart for eternity.I know the special relationship you two shared from the love anyone can see radiating from Sebastian's eyes when he looked up at you.He was a lucky kitty having someone like you to care and cherish him. I am sending love and healing your way and I hope that Caesar will  be feeling better soon.Love to you,for being the caring cat mommy that you are.
 

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Oh no, I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your Sebastian. I know it was a month and a half ago (just a couple days before I got Sara's acute renal failure diagnosis). I'd been kinda avoiding the threads here the last six weeks (mostly anyway) because of what I was going through with Sara. I'm just so, so sorry.

Lucky was my feline soul mate, so I completely understand the loss. It's horrible, and it shreds you to pieces inside, so much so you're not sure you can put yourself back together again. Somehow though, and very slowly, you do. There are times the sutures still rip, and the would still bleeds, but it heals again. It always does. Lucky's been gone for six months come the 12th, and I still cry for him to this day. But I'm able to think of him fondly a lot more, and think of his last day a lot less. I still do think about it, just not as much.

Many :hugs: to you. I hope you are doing a little bit better now, but completely understand if you are not. I know I wasn't.

Sebastian always is a name I think of fondly for some reason, in an odd way I guess. When Lucky was sick, there were pictures of my two kittens up on the wall at the vet's office (they have pictures of the new patients). Oliver reminded her of her Sebastian, who had recently passed. And since she no longer needed the injectable famotidine, she donated it to me.
 
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@MServant, of course you don't set the rules. You are Mouse's servant! 
  Fortunately, Sebastian hardly ever shed. I only brushed him so much because he absolutely LOVED it! It was like a massage for him. Boo sheds the worst, and he's just a DSH. But he won't let me brush him....figures!

@roguethecat, ugh, sorry you're resigned to doing chores, too. That's cute that The Rogue also liked changing the sheets! A lot of cats seem to enjoy that. So weird. I'd get the sheets nice and flat and tight and Sebastian would burrow himself between the fitted sheet and the flat sheet and then roll over on his back with his feet in the air pushing up on the sheet. I'd run my hand over the outside of the sheet and he'd go bonkers. You could see the pads and nails of his feet coming through as he "scaled" the sheet from underneath. It was SO funny. Never got a video of that, unfortunately.

@Angels mommy, I was mostly washing clothes for two straight days. I swear I did 20 loads. I literally had a tower o' clothes on my bedroom floor . My s/o made fun of me because despite so many dirty clothes needing to be washed, I still had plenty of clean clothes to wear...a sure sign I have too many clothes.  
   BUT....I still haven't touched Sebastian's beds.  
  Let's not go crazy! One. Step. At. A. Time. 
  I'm sorry that Angel seemed to have lost his smell while on chemo. Did Angel like to be kissed? It's always an extra perk when they actually like it. Sebastian loved it and Caesar likes it as long as I'm super gentle. Boo is more independent and seems "bugged" when I kiss him. Too bad. I do it anyway. I'm glad you were able to give the client's kitty some lovin'. 


@kittylove53, thank you for your kind words and for watching Sebastian's video. Slowly but surely, Caesar seems to be doing a little better. He's on a custom blend of flower essences which seems to help.

@Zed Xyzed, thank you, Eric.

@Donutte, thank you for the condolences. It seems time is of little consequence. It still feels like yesterday he was right here next to me. I need to go over and visit your thread, too. I'm also very sorry for your losses.
 
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goholistic

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@Angels mommy mentioned over on another thread that she's so sad that too many TCS kitties are crossing the bridge. I'm not a "heavy" TCS user anymore, but even I noticed this. 
  A lot of loss lately, and my heart goes out to each and every one of you who have lost and will lose.  


For me, it isn't just TCS, though. I'm on Facebook groups where kitties are losing their battles with chronic illnesses and dying suddenly from acute ones.

And on an even more personal level...

As of last summer, between my s/o and I we had six cats (three each). In 8 months, we lost half of them. He lost his Harmony and Lucky (both 19) and I lost Sebastian. The 3 we're left with are all seniors. All the kitties in my immediate and extended family are seniors. Boo's sister, Lily, passed away in January; she was owned by my aunt. My mom's cat is getting senior problems, and my sister's oldest is not doing well.



Sorry for the downer post. I know it is life, but it's just seems so rough lately....for everyone. No more kitties are allowed to die! You hear me!? No more! 
 

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@Angels mommy
mentioned over on another thread that she's so sad that too many TCS kitties are crossing the bridge. I'm not a "heavy" TCS user anymore, but even I noticed this.  :(   A lot of loss lately, and my heart goes out to each and every one of you who have lost and will lose.   :hugs:

For me, it isn't just TCS, though. I'm on Facebook groups where kitties are losing their battles with chronic illnesses and dying suddenly from acute ones.

And on an even more personal level...

As of last summer, between my s/o and I we had six cats (three each). In 8 months, we lost half of them. He lost his Harmony and Lucky (both 19) and I lost Sebastian. The 3 we're left with are all seniors. All the kitties in my immediate and extended family are seniors. Boo's sister, Lily, passed away in January; she was owned by my aunt. My mom's cat is getting senior problems, and my sister's oldest is not doing well.

:sigh:
Sorry for the downer post. I know it is life, but it's just seems so rough lately....for everyone. No more kitties are allowed to die! You hear me!? No more!  :wife:
I'm on a CKD group on Facebook and yes, there are days where so many people have lost their babies. Sometimes people only find the group after losing their babies. And there are times where there seem to be a lot more deaths than others. I remember feeling that way a few months ago. There was one in particular that stole a lot of hearts in a VERY short amount of time. Including that of his caretaker, who only had him for a month or so. His name was Oscar (the cat, that is). Tearing up just thinking about that one.

As sad as it is, I think it's a testament to just how much these tiny creatures truly do love.

And I'm so sorry you lost so many of your kitties. I've been in that boat, almost seems par for the course when you have (relatively) a lot of pets. At some point, you lose a significant number in a short time. I still remember 1986 was a bad year for our Alaskan Malamutes. Out of the 7 we had at the time, we lost 4 of them that year, all for different reasons. My brother and his wife lost 3 of their 4 cats last year. I felt really bad for them too.

It still boggles my mind that out of the three kitties I had a year ago (before the the youngin's joined the brood), two of them are gone already, less than six months apart. Lucky in November and Sara last week. Maple's the only one left.
 

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Sorry for the downer post. I know it is life, but it's just seems so rough lately....for everyone. No more kitties are allowed to die! You hear me!? No more! 
sounds like there is a big kitty party somewhere way beyond. Oh, the Rogue will enjoy sniffing all those butts!
 
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I'm on a CKD group on Facebook and yes, there are days where so many people have lost their babies. Sometimes people only find the group after losing their babies. And there are times where there seem to be a lot more deaths than others. I remember feeling that way a few months ago. There was one in particular that stole a lot of hearts in a VERY short amount of time. Including that of his caretaker, who only had him for a month or so. His name was Oscar (the cat, that is). Tearing up just thinking about that one.

As sad as it is, I think it's a testament to just how much these tiny creatures truly do love.

And I'm so sorry you lost so many of your kitties. I've been in that boat, almost seems par for the course when you have (relatively) a lot of pets. At some point, you lose a significant number in a short time. I still remember 1986 was a bad year for our Alaskan Malamutes. Out of the 7 we had at the time, we lost 4 of them that year, all for different reasons. My brother and his wife lost 3 of their 4 cats last year. I felt really bad for them too.

It still boggles my mind that out of the three kitties I had a year ago (before the the youngin's joined the brood), two of them are gone already, less than six months apart. Lucky in November and Sara last week. Maple's the only one left.
Gosh, seems like you and your family have had a bad run of it, too. I'm so sorry.  Losing Lucky and Sara in less than six months must be so hard, especially if you were still grieving the first...your soulcat.
 
sounds like there is a big kitty party somewhere way beyond. Oh, the Rogue will enjoy sniffing all those butts!
LOL....yes, so it seems! The Rogue will be busy! 
 

angels mommy

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@Angels mommy mentioned over on another thread that she's so sad that too many TCS kitties are crossing the bridge. I'm not a "heavy" TCS user anymore, but even I noticed this. 
  A lot of loss lately, and my heart goes out to each and every one of you who have lost and will lose.  


For me, it isn't just TCS, though. I'm on Facebook groups where kitties are losing their battles with chronic illnesses and dying suddenly from acute ones.

And on an even more personal level...

As of last summer, between my s/o and I we had six cats (three each). In 8 months, we lost half of them. He lost his Harmony and Lucky (both 19) and I lost Sebastian. The 3 we're left with are all seniors. All the kitties in my immediate and extended family are seniors. Boo's sister, Lily, passed away in January; she was owned by my aunt. My mom's cat is getting senior problems, and my sister's oldest is not doing well.



Sorry for the downer post. I know it is life, but it's just seems so rough lately....for everyone. No more kitties are allowed to die! You hear me!? No more! 
I agree. No more!!!!!   Yup, must be a big kitty convention in heaven!  


@GoHolistic, Wow, you did have a lot of laundry to do! That's a lot of loads!   Yes, no rush on Sebastian's beds. I don't blame you.   Angel was ok with being kissed, I did do it often, but I know sometimes, he was like, enough mom!  I used to tell him it was his fault, because he was so yummy!!! 
 
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