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A relative has recently gotten a three month old kitten. Over Thanksgiving, naturally, she and I talked about her kitten and my two new kittens, the toys they like, the silly things they do, etc.
However, she then asked if I was going to declaw my kittens. I said absolutely not, and left it at that, thinking she would get the message. She apparently did not.
She told me proudly that she was going to declaw her kitten, and suggested I do the same. Unsure of what to say, I repeated that I was not going to declaw my kittens. She looked at me like I was crazy.
The rest of the week she pressed about it, making subtle remarks like “ouch those claws!” and “you’ll have to buy all new furniture, do you really want to do that?” I tried to dodge these remarks, as I felt if I tried to educate her on how horrible declawing is, she’d get upset.
The last day, right before leaving, she pushed again, hard. She flat out told me I should declaw my cats. I began explaining that the procedure was inhumane and can cause numerous issues for cats, but she cut me off before I’d even finished my first sentence. “My cat was declawed and he lived for 12 years! He was fine, it’s not bad for them.” Before I could respond, she’d again told me that I need to get them declawed when I take them to be neutered.
At that point I was exasperated. I’d avoided confronting her the entire week and held my tongue, but in that moment I had had it. I looked her straight in the eye said I’d rather cut my own fingers off than do something that would harm my kittens.
She again looked at me like I was insane and waved me off dismissively before leaving.
Since then, I’ve felt conflicted. I just can’t stand the thought of this darling, outgoing, friendly little kitten being put under and waking up mutilated.
On the one hand, I don’t want to upset her, or make her feel like I’m getting in her business. On the other hand, she had no problem getting into my business... Instead of telling her what to do, as she did to me, I would provide facts to help her understand. I don’t think educating someone rude or intrusive, if done politely and in a nonjudgmental way? Thoughts?
If I were to try to talk to her, I know I’d have to do so carefully and eloquently. I’d have to explain how horrible declawing is while not making her feel attacked/blamed (Rogerian argument, for my fellow English nerds).
I wanted to ask, how would you handle this? What reasoning, facts, and proof would you present? Would you link her to the Paw Project? Write a persuasive essay? I’m trying to figure out how to communicate with her in a way to where she can understand how terrible this procedure is, and hopefully at least reconsiderer her decision. I know I may not be able to change her mind, but she has no idea about how harmful declawing can be, and I’d like her to at least be aware of that before she has her kitten declawed.
However, she then asked if I was going to declaw my kittens. I said absolutely not, and left it at that, thinking she would get the message. She apparently did not.
She told me proudly that she was going to declaw her kitten, and suggested I do the same. Unsure of what to say, I repeated that I was not going to declaw my kittens. She looked at me like I was crazy.
The rest of the week she pressed about it, making subtle remarks like “ouch those claws!” and “you’ll have to buy all new furniture, do you really want to do that?” I tried to dodge these remarks, as I felt if I tried to educate her on how horrible declawing is, she’d get upset.
The last day, right before leaving, she pushed again, hard. She flat out told me I should declaw my cats. I began explaining that the procedure was inhumane and can cause numerous issues for cats, but she cut me off before I’d even finished my first sentence. “My cat was declawed and he lived for 12 years! He was fine, it’s not bad for them.” Before I could respond, she’d again told me that I need to get them declawed when I take them to be neutered.
At that point I was exasperated. I’d avoided confronting her the entire week and held my tongue, but in that moment I had had it. I looked her straight in the eye said I’d rather cut my own fingers off than do something that would harm my kittens.
She again looked at me like I was insane and waved me off dismissively before leaving.
Since then, I’ve felt conflicted. I just can’t stand the thought of this darling, outgoing, friendly little kitten being put under and waking up mutilated.
On the one hand, I don’t want to upset her, or make her feel like I’m getting in her business. On the other hand, she had no problem getting into my business... Instead of telling her what to do, as she did to me, I would provide facts to help her understand. I don’t think educating someone rude or intrusive, if done politely and in a nonjudgmental way? Thoughts?
If I were to try to talk to her, I know I’d have to do so carefully and eloquently. I’d have to explain how horrible declawing is while not making her feel attacked/blamed (Rogerian argument, for my fellow English nerds).
I wanted to ask, how would you handle this? What reasoning, facts, and proof would you present? Would you link her to the Paw Project? Write a persuasive essay? I’m trying to figure out how to communicate with her in a way to where she can understand how terrible this procedure is, and hopefully at least reconsiderer her decision. I know I may not be able to change her mind, but she has no idea about how harmful declawing can be, and I’d like her to at least be aware of that before she has her kitten declawed.
If she keeps pushing you to declaw your cat and refuses to listen to why declawing is inhumane, just tell her that you do not believe in declawing cats and walk away.
