Comments that I don't feel are right. "My cat is an outdoor cat" Answer: Well you get what you deserve if he/she dies! Your cat eats Friskies so you're a terrible cat owner for giving them cheap crap! My son, daughter, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend is "severely allergic to cats" remove them instead. After all cats are a life long commitment. But your son, daughter etc are not that worthy? Needless to say I love my cats with all of my heart but this is not productive advice.
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Not Productive And Not Helpful
- Thread starter Mari333
- Start Date
Hi!
Are you saying you received those comments, or you've seen those comments to other posters?
I'm very sorry to hear it, either way!
I know that some people feel very strongly about some subjects, but The Cat Site (TCS) works to avoid judgmental points of view.
For one thing, there's no possible way we can know everything that's going on in a person's life, or all the reasons an owner does what they do, or their financial situation, --any of that sort of thing. For another, we want people to feel welcomed, accepted, respected and comfortable here.
When you encounter a comment that you feel is inappropriate, please click on the little flag in the lower left hand corner of the post. You'll see a pop-up box, and you can use that to inform TCS Moderators.
Are you saying you received those comments, or you've seen those comments to other posters?
I'm very sorry to hear it, either way!
I know that some people feel very strongly about some subjects, but The Cat Site (TCS) works to avoid judgmental points of view.
For one thing, there's no possible way we can know everything that's going on in a person's life, or all the reasons an owner does what they do, or their financial situation, --any of that sort of thing. For another, we want people to feel welcomed, accepted, respected and comfortable here.
When you encounter a comment that you feel is inappropriate, please click on the little flag in the lower left hand corner of the post. You'll see a pop-up box, and you can use that to inform TCS Moderators.
Last edited:
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I'll agree people have strong opinions about the indoor / outdoor thing. But they're coming from a good place. They mean well. And as for the cat food well yeah we try to encourage people to feed better food, if possible. I don't think anyone would advocate getting into debt or anything like that. Sometimes people take getting informed about better food options the wrong way. Like yes there are better food options than X but if you can't it's okay. Certainly family members are lifetime commitments. But at the risk of an unpopular opinion, bf/gfs are not. They come and go and your cat was there first so....yeah. Just my opinion of course.
Furballsmom
has great advice about what to do if you see something inappropriate.
Furballsmom
has great advice about what to do if you see something inappropriate.
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I agree that compassion is a better place to start than judgment when it comes to giving advice. Usually, I see mostly patience and kindness here. After all, almost all of the people who found their way here did so because they care about their cat and want to help it.
On the rare occasions when I dispense advice (rare because I have had exactly one cat, and there aren't many situations where my input is as good as someone else's with more experience), I try to avoid absolutes. Yes, I don't think it's great to consider getting rid of your cat because new bf/gf is allergic. But there are strategies one can use to reduce allergies, and if rehoming is unavoidable, it needn't be traumatic for the cat if the original owner is thorough in finding a good and suitable new home. I am aware that in America people with outdoor only cats are often shamed, while in much of Europe it is the opposite. I personally wouldn't let my cat out where I live (except on a leash) because I live in a busy city. But I have a friend who lives on a farm with indoor/outdoor cats, and the cats there play a very important role in pest control. There are some dangers that the cats face that they wouldn't indoors, but the family does everything they can to help them be safe (they even got a llama to scare away the coyotes).
Those points are just examples, of course; every person has their own situation, and deserves at least a little patience and understanding. (Of course, there are a few other issues that I take a much harder line on, like spay/neuter and no declawing). So I agree that we should try to meet people where they are!
On the rare occasions when I dispense advice (rare because I have had exactly one cat, and there aren't many situations where my input is as good as someone else's with more experience), I try to avoid absolutes. Yes, I don't think it's great to consider getting rid of your cat because new bf/gf is allergic. But there are strategies one can use to reduce allergies, and if rehoming is unavoidable, it needn't be traumatic for the cat if the original owner is thorough in finding a good and suitable new home. I am aware that in America people with outdoor only cats are often shamed, while in much of Europe it is the opposite. I personally wouldn't let my cat out where I live (except on a leash) because I live in a busy city. But I have a friend who lives on a farm with indoor/outdoor cats, and the cats there play a very important role in pest control. There are some dangers that the cats face that they wouldn't indoors, but the family does everything they can to help them be safe (they even got a llama to scare away the coyotes).
Those points are just examples, of course; every person has their own situation, and deserves at least a little patience and understanding. (Of course, there are a few other issues that I take a much harder line on, like spay/neuter and no declawing). So I agree that we should try to meet people where they are!
This is brilliant
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #7
As for my posts not so much since I have indoor cats. But the extremism isn't reserved to just those few topics. It's that it occurs much too often. I can expect and appreciate that monitoring large groups can be a task. I have a group, not cat related with a fraction of the people and it can still be a challenge so I understand. It is important to notify them. I'm just baffled by the frequency of which that this happens. I left 4 other groups as a result, this one is my absolute favorite. I'm quite glad to have found this place.
You are very welcome to flag whatever posts you feel are extreme; they don't have to be your own. We try very hard to help people with their cat problems in a nonjudgemental way. Of course we are anti-declawing and pro-spay/neuter and so people will receive responses based on that. But, for example, in our Pregnant Cats and Kitten Care forum we have protocols for responding:
Important - Pregnant Cats & Kittens Forum Code Of Conduct - Read Before You Post!
and our forum rules make it clear we do not allow rudeness.
Flagging is a very good way to let moderators know if things are out of hand, and we do appreciate how good our members are at finding things we may have missed.
Important - Pregnant Cats & Kittens Forum Code Of Conduct - Read Before You Post!
and our forum rules make it clear we do not allow rudeness.
Flagging is a very good way to let moderators know if things are out of hand, and we do appreciate how good our members are at finding things we may have missed.
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The thing about forums I have noticed is that going to them is a lot like going to a fast food restaraunt for dinner. You go there looking for food (advice) and get bombarded with all these suggestions. (Would you like to try our new..., fries with that?) and you just say no and move on. At the restaraunt they are more polite, and forums people get carried away because usually they have nothing to lose by pushing certain ideas or quick solutions that don't work for everyone.
Sometimes they get reported but some forums quickly turn into a pitch fork mob.
I followed advice on one forum because everyone was like "omg you are doing this All wrong! You MUST follow our advice or you will be doing everything WRONG and it's your fault!"
Well the advice was not suited to my situation and there was actually an easier way, just needed more thought which is not something a lot people in forums like to do. Now I pass down my experience to newbies in that topic that saves them money and headache in the long run even though it isn't fast.
Bottom line: people can say what they want on the internet, but it is our job to think about what is being said, if it suits our situation and take or not to take.
Sometimes they get reported but some forums quickly turn into a pitch fork mob.
I followed advice on one forum because everyone was like "omg you are doing this All wrong! You MUST follow our advice or you will be doing everything WRONG and it's your fault!"
Well the advice was not suited to my situation and there was actually an easier way, just needed more thought which is not something a lot people in forums like to do. Now I pass down my experience to newbies in that topic that saves them money and headache in the long run even though it isn't fast.
Bottom line: people can say what they want on the internet, but it is our job to think about what is being said, if it suits our situation and take or not to take.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I understand that people can be passionate, but those type of responses should be flagged for a moderator. I just can't imagine anyone here saying that it's your fault or get rid of the cat for that reason.
