- Joined
- Jan 29, 2019
- Messages
- 33
- Purraise
- 82
Hi everyone,
I am brand new here and I hope it's not too redundant to start this thread. I've found some really reassuring threads on similar issues, and this is one of the only places I've found so far where people discuss how they felt emotionally, too.
The summary is: I adopted a rescue cat, and forgot to adjust my expectations of how long it would take her to get comfortable. Now I'm a little anxious/paranoid she'll be scared and in hiding forever.
A little over two weeks ago I adopted Maggie. She's about 16 months old. I believe she was found as part of a colony, and brought inside to assess her temperament during a TNR. She'd been in foster care from about October 2018 to mid-January of this year (with a whack ton of other cats and dogs), and then she came home with me. Her foster mom said she spent the first few months very afraid of humans, but in the last few weeks of her time there started accepting pets and treats, playing with wand toys, and eventually even coming up to request affection and head scratches. I fell in love and brought her home.
I definitely made a few mistakes right off the bat - my apartment is medium-sized, but it doesn't actually have a lot of doors. The dining room would have been the best option as a "safe room" for her, but it's connected to the kitchen via open doorway, and I didn't want her hiding behind the fridge or radiator. So I basically set her loose in the living room and left my bedroom door open. For the first few days I didn't see her, but she came out from under the couch/my bed to eat, drink, and use the litter, so I wasn't worried.
Well, it's been two weeks now, and we have developed something of a routine. I usually leave my bedroom door open because she likes to sleep under my bed at night, but when I get home from work she'll hide under the couch in the living room. At that point I close off the other doors and feed her, so she eats dinner with me in the room (as long as it's dark out). Afterwards, if I don't startle her, she will hop up on what has become "her" chair and have a bath and a snooze while I read/watch TV/eat dinner. Once, she let me approach slowly and scratch her head, but more often than not she'll hide under the chair or couch when I get up.
Most of the time, however, she seems very timid and spends her days in hiding. If I offer her a treat in my hand while she's under the bed, she might eat it but then quickly retreat further away. She's hissed once or twice, but I think more as a half-hearted "back off" when I move too quickly and stand too tall. She doesn't seem super interested in the treats I currently have or in the laser pointer - she's a little more intrigued by the "spider" on a string I crocheted for her, but any sudden movements from me and she takes off again. Should I ignore her? Stop offering treats? Or push her little, lure her with food, pet her while she's eating? Also wondering whether I should keep her in the living room and not let her into my bedroom, although I do find it cute she sleeps under my bed, even if it has nothing to do with me.
I'm very glad I adopted her, and I love her dearly - which is why it's so hard for me to watch from afar, and to panic about her not warming up. I try to bring a calm and happy energy home, but every time she hides or squirms away from me, it's a little gut-wrenching.
I have no plans to give up anytime soon - I know it can take months. But I would incredibly grateful for any stories with happy endings, words of advice or encouragement, or even how you coped emotionally with a similar situation. (I'm probably a little over-sensitive.) I'm sorry this is so gargantuan in length, but many thanks in advance!
I am brand new here and I hope it's not too redundant to start this thread. I've found some really reassuring threads on similar issues, and this is one of the only places I've found so far where people discuss how they felt emotionally, too.
The summary is: I adopted a rescue cat, and forgot to adjust my expectations of how long it would take her to get comfortable. Now I'm a little anxious/paranoid she'll be scared and in hiding forever.
A little over two weeks ago I adopted Maggie. She's about 16 months old. I believe she was found as part of a colony, and brought inside to assess her temperament during a TNR. She'd been in foster care from about October 2018 to mid-January of this year (with a whack ton of other cats and dogs), and then she came home with me. Her foster mom said she spent the first few months very afraid of humans, but in the last few weeks of her time there started accepting pets and treats, playing with wand toys, and eventually even coming up to request affection and head scratches. I fell in love and brought her home.
I definitely made a few mistakes right off the bat - my apartment is medium-sized, but it doesn't actually have a lot of doors. The dining room would have been the best option as a "safe room" for her, but it's connected to the kitchen via open doorway, and I didn't want her hiding behind the fridge or radiator. So I basically set her loose in the living room and left my bedroom door open. For the first few days I didn't see her, but she came out from under the couch/my bed to eat, drink, and use the litter, so I wasn't worried.
Well, it's been two weeks now, and we have developed something of a routine. I usually leave my bedroom door open because she likes to sleep under my bed at night, but when I get home from work she'll hide under the couch in the living room. At that point I close off the other doors and feed her, so she eats dinner with me in the room (as long as it's dark out). Afterwards, if I don't startle her, she will hop up on what has become "her" chair and have a bath and a snooze while I read/watch TV/eat dinner. Once, she let me approach slowly and scratch her head, but more often than not she'll hide under the chair or couch when I get up.
Most of the time, however, she seems very timid and spends her days in hiding. If I offer her a treat in my hand while she's under the bed, she might eat it but then quickly retreat further away. She's hissed once or twice, but I think more as a half-hearted "back off" when I move too quickly and stand too tall. She doesn't seem super interested in the treats I currently have or in the laser pointer - she's a little more intrigued by the "spider" on a string I crocheted for her, but any sudden movements from me and she takes off again. Should I ignore her? Stop offering treats? Or push her little, lure her with food, pet her while she's eating? Also wondering whether I should keep her in the living room and not let her into my bedroom, although I do find it cute she sleeps under my bed, even if it has nothing to do with me.
I'm very glad I adopted her, and I love her dearly - which is why it's so hard for me to watch from afar, and to panic about her not warming up. I try to bring a calm and happy energy home, but every time she hides or squirms away from me, it's a little gut-wrenching.
I have no plans to give up anytime soon - I know it can take months. But I would incredibly grateful for any stories with happy endings, words of advice or encouragement, or even how you coped emotionally with a similar situation. (I'm probably a little over-sensitive.) I'm sorry this is so gargantuan in length, but many thanks in advance!