New Cat Is Frightened (first Time Owner)

[ahlzoc]

Hello,
I've recently adopted my first cat, he's just over a year old and has been in foster care for about 6 months. He's a shy boy, however with his foster carer had come out of his shell a fair bit (there is some unknown history, they suspect his first owners were not the kindest). The first few days with him were very good, he's set himself up a nice hidey hole in my wardrobe, and had gotten to the stage were he would happily lick treats off my finger (very food oriented). However over the last 2-3 days, my housemates have been trying to go into his safe space and pat him, they did this against my knowledge when I was out of the house. Obviously I've put a stop to this, but now he starts hissing as soon as the wardrobe door opens. He had never hissed with me before, but I hadn't tried to pat him as of yet (because he was obviously not ready for it). How do I get him to start trusting again? I can't get near enough to him to bribe with treats the way I did the first time....I'm a first time cat owner so any help would be really appreciated.
Thank you so much in advance

 

[tabbytom]

ahlzoc and kitty, welcome to TCS!

Thank you for adopting this cat and for giving him a warm and fur-ever loving home and a safe sanctuary to live comfortably.

It is very natural for a new cat to be in hiding at a new home and for he case of your cat that came from a not so kind home, his first instinct is to hide to be safe as his trust level in hoomans is very low.

Since he has a hidey hole in the your wardrobe, let him be there as it is his safe place. Do not pull him out but just let him stay there.

You have to approach him each time will care and whenever you go to him, go down on your fours and make yourself as low as possible so that you don't look so big a look like a treat to him. Softly call out his name from a distance and slowly inch toward him. n

Since you said that he is food oriented, it makes your job much easier. Let him know that you're his food source and feed him like you did with your finger. Once he gets the hang of it, place a plate with his food in it and place it outside the wardrobe and entice him to come out to eat. Once he has confidence and trust you, he'll come out to eat. Then the next time you feed him, place just the plate with his food and coax him out and you sit a little further away so that he'll take the first step out of the wardrobe.

Whenever you go see him, you should be on your fours or sitting on the floor and if he hiss at you, you tell him it's ok and don't make direct eye contact with him Just do the slow eye blinking thing and then look away. This will make him feels that he's in charge. Repeat this several times till he blinks back at you and if he does that, you are almost here already.

Just remember, do not rush things and give him lots of love, repeat the routine and have lots of patience. Do not betray his trust in you.

Tell your roommate the same thing else your cat will be confused and will take a longer time to trust you and them.

Here are some articles for you to read as a first time cat owner :-

bringing-home-a-new-cat-the-complete-guide.29657
first-time-cat-owners-guide.33669
how-to-help-a-new-cat-adjust-to-your-home.32804
common-foods-that-are-harmful-to-cats.30181
household-chemicals-and-your-cats.29641
first-aid-for-cats.22464
cats-lilies-avoid-the-danger-lurking-in-your-home.33397
the-litterbox-what-every-cat-owner-needs-to-know.33457
how-to-choose-the-right-litterbox.32515

We have many great Articles here :- ams


Feel free to ask questions if you have any. Many helpful members here are willing to help answer them

Further readings :-

Here are some articles for you to read regarding spaying a cat :-

why-you-should-spay-and-neuter-your-cats.22304

when-to-spay-or-neuter-a-cat.33415

spaying-and-neutering-what-to-ask-before-the-surgery.30217

spaying-and-neutering-what-to-look-for-after-surgery.30218

how-much-does-it-cost-to-get-a-cat-fixed.33906

 

[ahlzoc]

Thank you so much, this is all really helpful advice...is it okay for me to just sort of, toss treats in with him and then close the wardrobe? I can't feed him with my finger anymore because he hisses as soon as you look like you are getting close (or if you leave the door open for longer than a quick hello). I'm devastated because he is less receptive now than when I first brought him home

 

[tabbytom]

..is it okay for me to just sort of, toss treats in with him and then close the wardrobe? I can't feed him with my finger anymore because he hisses as soon as you look like you are getting close (or if you leave the door open for longer than a quick hello)

I don't think that it's a good idea to do that. Now the main goal is for him to trust you and by tossing food to him make him to have a more feral behavior and it'll seriously cause some damage and it'll be harder and take a longer time to calm him down.

What you can do is when you enter the room, announce your arrival in a calm assurance voice and open the wardrobe door and sit a few feet away from him and talks softly to him and do the slow eye blink and have food ready to feed him.

Slowly inch your way near to him and continue the eye blinking and say 'Don't worry and don't be afraid, it's ok, it's mummy and I have food for you'. At this moment. you have to spend more time with him meaning visit him more regularly doing the same routine and keep your roommates away from him. Just don't confuse him with too many people. He must trust you most of all which is the most important.

Ok, I went away to attend to my boy and wanted to attach some articles after I come back for you to read and rubysmama has already done it and that was something what I wanted to post too. Thanks rubysmama

 

[taralynnallred]

My Izzy was very shy and frightened when I first brought her home. She is still in her sanctuary room while I introduce her to my resident cats. She hissed at me and hid for the first couple days. All I did to finally get her trust was sit in the middle of the room, and talk to her/myself and do my own thing, and I let her set the pace. I earned her trust, then I had to take her to the vet, which really set us back to square one. She hissed at me getting out of the carrier when he got home. It broke my heart! I regained her trust, I just had to start from the beginning! I also bribed her with toys
You’ll gain that trust back, it’ll be okay. It might take some time, but it’ll happen!

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on being a new cat mom. Sorry things have gone a bit backwards with him. Poor baby. Here are links to some other TCS articles that might be helpful:

How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? | TheCatSite
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat | TheCatSite
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats | TheCatSite
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover | TheCatSite (hopefully he was never abused, but the tips might still help with socializing him)
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me | TheCatSite

 

[LozzyPiper]

Hi, and congratulations on your new cat!

Having recently rehomed a similar aged cat, I can tell you it will take time. Follow the advice of others on here and let him take it as his own pace. When you spend longer with him in his safe room you can try reading aloud to him, and going about some of your normal activities, which he will need to get used to.

I think at first we all have thoughts of “what if they never trust me...what if they never come out of hiding” etc etc, but it just takes time. And in time you’ll forget all of the effort you had to put in. I previously socialised a semi-feral cat. This was a hard job, but seeing their progress is very rewarding. Cats adapt at different rates, it can take hours, days or weeks to adjust to a new home, so this is normal. There will undoubtedly be ups and downs, just take your time .

 

[tabbytom]

A ahlzoc , any updates?